[Anonymous] online relationship things

I know there are many zuers in a successful online relationship, so plz help?

I sorta like someone i've never met and i don't know when i'll be able to (years). What we have is sorta open because of the distance. Now feeling i'm devoted enough to wait for him eh sexually if you get what i mean (I'm a virgin).

Is it foolish? I could be wasting my young years and all that ♥♥♥♥crap and maybe a relationship wont even work when we meet. But I don't really want anyone else.

I'm a moron.

Hi there! (:


I hope my personal experiences can help you here with this one. I'm not sure how old you are, but it's best to wait until you're at least 18 years of age to travel (mainly internationally). And tell someone about it before you jump on a plane so that someone out there knows where you are and if you're safe just in case something happens. Better safe than sorry, you know?

Anyway, cutting all of that obvious stuff out, how long has the feeling lasted for? Because if it's only been a month or so, I would say wait on it until at least six months goes by so that you're absolutely sure based on the feelings that you have. Then perhaps wait for a whole year until you plan to meet up in person. Of course, if they live in your country, perhaps a year may be a bit too much. But still, give it a lot of time. Travelling is very expensive.

From my personal experiences, I met and fell in love with someone here on ZU. Despite being best friends with him for a few years before the relationship started, we waited for another year since we dated online to make sure that it's not something that would go to waste and that it's something real. In the end, I travelled 10,000 miles (halfway across the globe) to meet him. Because we were so sure on it, it is probably the greatest few months of my life being with him in person finally.
The smartest idea is to know the person for a year or more before you plan up on meeting them I believe.

Online relationships can work with careful planning and more dedication than a normal relationship. It would be foolish to meet them without giving it enough time and thinking it through.

Even if the relationship doesn't work out, you will always have those memories to cherish.

Love can make us all morons with the choices we make. But in the end, if you're committed to it, and you're absolutely sure, and nothing else is holding you back, and you have absolutely no doubts, then go for it! (:

But just be careful. <3

Greetings madam, Ill add in a few things to say..love is a wonderful thing to have in your life..its everlasting warmth to your soul will make your life better.. the fluttering of your heart when your talking to or being near them..if your ready to start a relation with someone, make sure you both are serious...i hate seeing the best relations go sour..it makes me die inside to see people suffer..then again i am a spiritual healer and take away ones pain to make it yours... Madam please be careful..if you need more advice im always here.

I played the long distance relationship game once and it was a disaster.

Then I was foolish enough to let it happen again, and it was disaster that time as well.


It's not worth going into the detail, just be aware, you will hear many a story about how it can work, and it is great. But more than likely, it will not. And you need to ask yourself if the perosn you're waiting on, is really better than every possible other suitor you could meet, closer to home.

Hello.

I have a bit of experience with this lol. Just a tad.

Honestly? Noooot saying it won't work out, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, just like any other relationship, but understand that it is a HUGE commitment and you WILL be sacrificing a lot, A LOT of normal ♥♥♥♥ that regular couples get to experience every day, whether it be holding hands, kissing, even something as mundane as going to the grocery store together, you'll have none of that until you meet up, and even then, it may take a while because you'll be learning about each other in person. Love IS powerful and can conquer distance, but there some things, quirks and habits, you can only learn about the other person when you're WITH the other person, in person.

Also, financial stuff to keep your long-distance relationship afloat is a must, and it is bloody expensive. Not just to travel, but accommodation, and in the far off future if the other person is in another country and you wanna move there permanently, immigration process stuff can cost you your LIFE and the process itself can be a pain in the ass.

Do not do this unless you are absolutely sure because it is a long-term commitment. If it starts online and feelings develop to something serious, being online isn't gonna cut it. You're gonna wanna close that gap. So before even thinking about whether or not you wanna meet up, consider whether or not you think you are ready for something that requires so much dedication and could possibly take years to build, and while other relationships can take years to build anyway, I mean years in building that you will prob, physically, spend on your own.

Alongside that, you will be judged by others. Harshly. It's unconventional so people are gonna call it all sorts of things. I like to think of myself as a forward and pretty thick-skinned lady, but -years- of this can really beat you down. It will be something that people will find difficult to accept, and while I DO believe that love is more important than the opinion of others, I'd be lying if I said the opinion of others don't sting, particularly if it IS about something that is precious to you AND depending on who is giving the opinion.

Don't take this as me saying it's all down-down-down, because there are benefits in that you will LEARN to really, really appreciate the other's presence and it will be a harsh lesson, but one that will stay with you for a very long time. I'm just being realistic with you because more often than not I get peeps on ZU PMing me asking for some silver bullet answer like there is one. There isn't. There's commit and put your all in, or don't.

If you wanna wait some before figuring this out, sure, why not. Take your time in figuring out your feelings and what you really want here. No harm in that.

Anyway, good luck. I hope you get whatever it is you're looking for.

• Make sure you're absolutely positive you have feelings for the person first and not just some little crush, before you consider telling them your feelings.
• Lets say, hypothetically, they like you back. Consider things like: how probable is it you can meet them, how often can you, eventually you'll want to live together so how will you go about that?
• After some time, if you still like them and have considered these things, tell them. Or something.
• If they don't like you back, then they don't like you back. If they like you back, that's p cool.
• If you get into a relationship then yeah I imagine you'll be in for some crazy ass ride that might turn out to be the best decision of your life or end in a horrid trainwreck.

I don't know anyone who has been in a relationship with someone from the internet, save for ZU. I can tell you that I've seen people meet here that are now in happy relationships, and a few are even married. I've also seen couples break up, or someone reveal their feelings to find out the person doesn't return them in kind.

Just follow your heart and all that lovey dovey stuff and you'll find what you desire. Or something.

My two cents!

I say, have fun with your online relationship. (I see you're 17?) You're young, so don't get too serious with it.

I don't think you should "wait" for him, either, if you get my meaning. Sex is a great thing, and you shouldn't hold off for a guy you might never meet. I'm not saying that you should open your legs to just anyone, but keep your options open. Actually, that can be said about the relationship as a whole.

I was about 16 when I first got involved in a relationship with someone I met online. I wouldn't say I had to sacrifice anything from my adolescence, because I don't feel like I lost anything, and what I have now with my boyfriend isn't anything that makes me regret missing out on anything.

One thing I always made sure of when getting into this online relationship was that I definitely wanted to spend a long time with this person. I wanted to be in a relationship with them for a long time. It wasn't just a fling or passing feelings or something. We talked a lot, and we were really close, and eventually decided to just go for a relationship.

If it's something you're interested in pursuing, here's a few suggestions/tips from me.

• Make sure you're both aware that going from an online relationship to a relationship where you get to be physically together can take a long time, and be really difficult, especially if you're younger (i.e. under 18, still very dependant on parents, etc).
• Be aware that other people aren't always going to be accepting of a relationship with someone you met online. Having to explain that you have an "internet boyfriend/girlfriend" is dumb and stupid but sometimes you have to do it and you'll be met with the stupidest of arguments against it.
• It's a relationship. It might not work out. Don't think that just because you can meet in person it'll be magical. There's always the chance it will end before then, or that the two of you won't enjoy being in a relationship where you're physically together.

I am so happy every day that I pursued my relationship with someone I met online. We've been together for nearly 5 years now, and I moved from the other side of the country to move in with him last year. There have definitely been some rough times - I wasn't sure if I wanted to move, my parents definitely didn't want me leaving, I had to go from being extremely dependent on my parents to suddenly being moved out, paying rent and bills, working for a living - but I'm so glad I did now.

It won't always work out, but it might, and if that happens it could be fantastic!

I think this post is more rambly than helpful, but hopefully it'll help a bit.