[Anonymous] Family Issues?

Not really good with titles, or writing out things like this.
There’s like two issues.

SO, ONTO THE STORY.

My uncle used to always come visit my family, along with his wife and my cousins. Years pass, and I haven’t seen them since 2008 (neither have my grandparents).

My family decided that maybe something had happened to my uncle, which would be why they haven’t come to visit or anything. My mother decides to investigate online for anything about my uncle that could help us figure out where he might be, and so forth. Eventually, my mother finds his divorce papers online from 2010.

My aunt eventually finds my uncle’s old phone number and sends him a text message asking if everything was okay with the family, if he was around the area, etc. He replies to her that everything was fine, the family was fine, and where the family is now and that he’s on a business trip in Poland.

After snooping around, I finally find my cousins on Facebook. I add them, and then I try to start up a conversation, but I can’t get anywhere. They never reply, and I’m just at a loss at what to say, because I really want to become close to my cousins, but I can’t just force them to talk to me. Another thing that bothers me is that my cousins live almost an hour away from my family, we’ve tried contacting their mother to see if they wanted to do something but we never get word back.

My grandparents used to talk to my uncle and the cousins every day over the phone, around the same time we lost contact, so had my grandparents. It’s really upsetting to hear my grandparents talk about them, and how they wish they could talk to them. My uncle’s ex-wife’s parents live in a city an hour away from my grandparents, and they never visit my grandparents. It’s just really bothering me, and I want to try to do something about all of this but I feel helpless, and that this is just a lost cause.

Should I continue to try to converse with my cousins and try to get them to talk to my grandparents too? What should I do?

Anonymous--

Thing is you've already almost answered your own question; if the will isn't there from the other end, then there really isn't much you CAN do to change that. As wonderful as your intentions are, the most you can do is reach out, and you have, and wait for a response. Pushing contact can sometimes push the other side even further away from you because the attention may be unwanted and, worse, suffocating.

If you wanna try something, you can start small by talking about things maybe you know you have in common, stuff like that. Just be aware that you really can only do so much, you know? Someone's gotta meet you halfway, and if there's no one there, then best you focus on the family you have around you and use your love/energy/time on them. I mean, there's no need to be bitter about any of this, and not suggesting you are, but sometimes in life there are connections you want but others won't give, and so you move on and accept it.

As a woman who values family dearly, I understand why this'll mean something to you, I really do, and I hope that you're able to find happiness whatever path you take with this.

Good luck.