ZU tell me what you think...

I know I'm hardly a prominent member but I've got to be honest...idk how much longer I'll be able to come here. Don't reply yet. My phone doesn't have an enter key online. Im gonna use the multiple post method if that's ok.

---------- Post added at 08:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:48 PM ----------

Basically, they don't want me wasting my time online. On this site in particular. Yet they are perfectly ok with me wasting my time on video games (zelda and the sims are pretty much the only ones I play anymore). My dad is usually chillax but can fly off the handle. He doesn't care if I'm on this site. My mom is the mastermind behind it. I am 18 ♥♥♥♥ing years old. Don't post yet.

---------- Post added at 08:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:53 PM ----------

To make matters worse, they figured out my...interests. They now think I'm wasting my time even more, even though I get straight A's and have a job this summer. And trust me I've been CHILL the whole time. My dad always seems supportive, but I can never get that from my mom. Not yet.

---------- Post added at 09:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:58 PM ----------

According to my family, I'm just like my grandpa which my mom never saw eye to eye with. One last thing, I promise.

---------- Post added at 09:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 PM ----------

So my question is, should I stop coming here and essentially let my mom "win"? Or should I continue coming here? Has anyone had any similar experiences? Please share! Post away.

Well, my dad never really knew what I did online but he knew I used the computer a lot. When my grades would slip up, I'd have the computer taken away.

Are they taking your computer or laptop away? I don't really see how your mom can "win". You should be able to surf the web at your leisure.

As far as you as a member goes, I'd say you're definitely 'prominent'. Unless my definition is different. You're easily recognized.

Does your family pay for your internet? Also, unless I'm mistaken, you're not long for college, and may be there already. If you don't live under their roof and pay for it yourself, I don't see why you should leave off coming here. Especially with the grades being as you said. And believe me, I'm usually the last person to tell someone to disobey their parents. I see no real reason you should leave though. As long as it doesn't conflict with your life.

Another thing that I stink at. For one thing you are 18, your mom shouldn't be smothering you anymore. You are almost an adult, your mom should know that.
And again I should say that I stink at helping.

If you're keeping straight A's, they have no reason to flip out at you.

Dashie, you're one of my closest friends. I don't want you to leave. However, if you honestly think it's necessary, this is your decision to make. We can't decide this for you.

I can understand this happening if you're 12 or something, but you're 18. You should do use the internet as much as you want as long as it's not affecting your school grades and social life.

Originally Posted by Gamzee

Are they taking your computer or laptop away? I don't really see how your mom can "win". You should be able to surf the web at your leisure.

Well they do this thing where they "limit my time". It gets extremely annoying considering I have a project due in a few weeks and I'm making a webpage. Their way of disguising taking it away I guess.

Dashie, you've become a great member on ZU, and I would hate if someone like you left. I'd say that if they dislike you going on this forum so much that they would threaten to take away your Internet, then go on ZU when they're not around. If you're getting A's, then they shouldn't be complaining, like what Fluttershy said.

Originally Posted by Golddron Sex

Does your family pay for your internet?

Yeah, they do. Pretty much the only thing they've got on me though. Not doing anything bad. Could be looking up porn.

I spent quite a bit of time last summer here on ZU. And my mom would wonder what I was doing, typing so much. Eventually I just told her that I was on a forum. Well, she isn't exactly familiar with things like that on the Internet, so she didn't take it too well. She probably figured I was discussing stuff with people online and must therefore be a loner or something. But, hey, I was paying for the internet, it was my laptop, and I'm free to use my time as I see fit. She didn't pry into it any further, and I guess she eventually accepted it.

As far as I'm concerned, everyone should have the basic right to use the Internet, and what they choose to do there is up to them. Especially at the age of 18. But of course you've got to consider whether or not fighting with your parents over it is worth it.

Best of luck with it though, and I hope we'll get to keep seeing you around.

My parents did the same thing when I was 15-16. Decided that online forums were a waste of time, even though I was a paid staff member on two sites at the time, and limited me to one hour online a day. It was bull♥♥♥♥. Sorry to hear that you are going through a similar situation.

Originally Posted by Axis

Dashie, you've become a great member on ZU, and I would hate if someone like you left. I'd say that if they dislike you going on this forum so much that they would threaten to take away your Internet, then go on ZU when they're not around. If you're getting A's, then they shouldn't be complaining, like what Fluttershy said.

Thing is, I thought they were cool with me going on ZU. Joking with me about it just further confirmed this. Then they wanted to bring it up again. Then they do this thing where they team up and get my siblings in on it. Not even worth arguing most of the time.

I'd just stop going on ZU at home and find somewhere else to log on, free wifi spots, library computers etc. I never really had to worry about this because my parents never really cared what I did and now I live on my own so meh.

BTW, I'd say you're a fairly well known member.

Your mom has not "won". Your mom will not win unless you get fired from your job and grades go down. No matter how much they take the internet away from you, you still will have won in the regard that you gave a shot at actually not listening to your mother about this, as you are not doing anything wrong here. (That is to suggest you don't let your mother "win") You use the internet. You get good grades. You have a job.

Use it at your friends house LOL
My friend did that and since he'd be on it so much his parents were finally like "Okay you can use the comp just COME HOME."

I don't want to tell you to disobey your mom, but I'd hate to see you leave ZU. :/

Have you tried maybe compromising with them? Agree to spend "less time online" if they won't give you a hard time about visiting ZU?

It's kind of ridiculous that your mother is trying to control you at 18 years old, but considering I've faced that same issue with my mother, I know it's really not all that uncommon. It's incredibly frustrating to feel like your independence is being taken away. My mother has often justified controlling me by saying "I don't care how old you are, if you still live home, your age makes no difference".

But still, to the best of my abilities, I try to maintain my independence when she gets controlling over things.

Compromise.
Agree to limit your time on the internet, but have separate time for your schoolwork.
Ask what the reason really is. If you feel like what they're saying is bull♥♥♥♥, ask for any other reasoning.
Don't just ask it in passing though. Sit them both down and ask them calmly.
Yes, you're 18, but if they're paying for your internet, they at least deserve your respect on the matter.
Don't be afraid to talk to them.

No. Stand up for your rights to spend your free time however damn well you please. You're 18 years old, you're a young adult who takes responsibility for your studies. Not visiting ZU... You have no reason to give in to any of that crap. I realise that it's hard to stand up to your parents but... your mom is wrong and you know it. Show her you're mature enough not only to take care of your studies but to say "no" as well.

Originally Posted by Rainbow Dash

Not doing anything bad. Could be looking up porn.

Why are you saying it like it's a bad thing?

Originally Posted by JackyJuJu

Compromise.
Agree to limit your time on the internet, but have separate time for your schoolwork.
Ask what the reason really is. If you feel like what they're saying is bull♥♥♥♥, ask for any other reasoning.
Don't just ask it in passing though. Sit them both down and ask them calmly.
Yes, you're 18, but if they're paying for your internet, they at least deserve your respect on the matter.
Don't be afraid to talk to them.

This is something I've got to be careful about as they haven't even taken me to get my license yet. It feels like they are slowing me down. ADD is their main concern I guess, but its gone for the most part.

Originally Posted by Rainbow Dash

This is something I've got to be careful about as they haven't even taken me to get my license yet. It feels like they are slowing me down. ADD is their main concern I guess, but its gone for the most part.

My parents are really similar. I don't have my license, I've never had a job, I always had a limit on my internet, etc. It's incredibly frustrating, but, unless they're incredibly stubborn and refuse to talk to you, compromise is one of the best ways to get what you both want.