The Day the Community Stood Still.

So...Yeah. I wrote a really long satire about the entire concept of timeline theory, and I used ZU as the main location of the story. I'm sure there's going to be backlash and argument from the article, but hey, that's what timeline debate is about, right? Anyway...yeah, it's the latest post on ZeldaBlog.com.

ZeldaBlog » Blog Archive » Truly the End of Days

By the way, don't think this is directly targeting the "ZU timeline section" at all, this is about theorists and theorization in general. You guys were just a good example of a large scale community.

Also, since the story is specifically about timeline debates, aonouma's announcement, and the ZU timeline section, I assumed the topic went here, but if not, please move it too the appropriate forum.

Haha. I thought it was funny. *Realizes he is on theorist home soil and hides*

I wrote a really long satire about the entire concept of timeline theory

Sadly, it's only about 1/10th of the size of LOZ Historian's drama post, but it was still a good read.

Leinator, I liked the intensiity of it. I want to see a full fanfic from you one of these days

Self-indulge a bit? =P

The non-pedantic portion of the story was delciously enjoyable, as is ussually the case with a story both well presented and rediculous in its satire... In all honesty I wish it could be an accurate representation.
I would much rather have a discussion full of crazy, highly opiniated, over emoitional idealists weilding MySQL scripts then the current floundering community, 85% of which tends to sound a lot more like your wizened expert than any of your mortal characters...

PS: DD, I think you mean LOZ Historian...

Originally Posted by mmmmm_PIE

PS: DD, I think you mean LOZ Historian...

<_<. I was close!

Heh, I was actually planning on centering part of it around one of my....less than favorite people, TSA. I was going to make him a crazy king who was completely convinced he was a god because he'd been on the internet for 15 years and could speed-run games, which isn't too far off from what he actually thinks he is. If you've ever seen him argue about something, he'll often cite the fact that he's been on the internet for so long as the sole reason he's right, I always want to reach through the internet and punch him or something.

I wasn't sure how TML would like me targeting a single person on his site though, so I stopped. Still turned out pretty good though.

Also...yeah, LoZ historian actually did take it pretty seriously. His post was a joke, but he had a lot of angry ranting in it, a lot like the Split Theorist Denier in mine. And besides, I wasn't about to write a megapocolyptic article that's sole purpose was to get people to take things less seriously and not write huge posts about them, it would've been ironic, but...yeah, hypocritical in many ways.

I didn't had time to read it all but while looking trough it "on the fly" I came across something similar to this:

What happened to freedom of speech?

Referring to someone who supports the linear theory.

Well although I think that everyone has right on his own opinion, I also support the statement that further discussing linear vs. split is total nonsense and threads about that can be considered spam to some degree. Why? Imagine 3 guys. One shows the other 2 a box and asks them to guess whats in it. One says its an apple the other says its a banana. And the first guy opens the box and shows that its an apple. What would you think if the guy who said its a banana still keeps saying that it isn't an apple and that its a banana? Same principle applies here. There is more then enough evidence for a split and debating over linear vs. split is pointless.

I'm sure I'm gonna hit a flame wall with this post but hey... This section is getting boring anyway...

Originally Posted by the_Predator

I didn't had time to read it all but while looking trough it "on the fly" I came across something similar to this:



Referring to someone who supports the linear theory.

Well although I think that everyone has right on his own opinion, I also support the statement that further discussing linear vs. split is total nonsense and threads about that can be considered spam to some degree. Why? Imagine 3 guys. One shows the other 2 a box and asks them to guess whats in it. One says its an apple the other says its a banana. And the first guy opens the box and shows that its an apple. What would you think if the guy who said its a banana still keeps saying that it isn't an apple and that its a banana? Same principle applies here. There is more then enough evidence for a split and debating over linear vs. split is pointless.

I'm sure I'm gonna hit a flame wall with this post but hey... This section is getting boring anyway...

This community was founded upon the core principle to believe anything you want, whether it's been proven wrong or not. I will not rest until the liberation of all people is underway. We will fight for this right until the last man is standing! We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old!

It was a satire man, any view expressed by any character was an over dramatized depiction of how seriously everyone takes the timeline. Except for the mysterious anonymous user of course.

^Not sure Churchill had anything to do with Zelda timeline debates...

Anyways, seriously, it was a good article. Not as amusing as LOZ Historian's, but it was great how you expressed the feeling of anarchy in the theorising forums, and how many websites had already been destroyed and people committed suicide. Great use of metaphors. And the general message was true as well. I've often thought like this, and it's good to see that other people actually do as well.

It could have been better, and the God dude at the end was pretty weird. Still good, though I far prefer the official "Timeline is Split" thread. That was full of gigantic, humorous yet sad emotional breakdowns.

Originally Posted by Average Gamer

It could have been better, and the God dude at the end was pretty weird. Still good, though I far prefer the official "Timeline is Split" thread. That was full of gigantic, humorous yet sad emotional breakdowns.

Yeah, anything written at 1:00 in the morning could've been better. I may add more, make it a "series" or something. Probably not though, I'll just make a few empty promises of a sequel, decide it's too much work, and hope most people will just forget I promised one in the first place.

Heh, I was actually the one who got people to start acting in that thread. It all started when I typed something like *unsheathes sword, plants it in the ground in front of himself, and sits down* and then everyone else started to join in, too. It was really quite entertaining, and we really needed something of the sort in such a stressful situation. You quite accurately portrayed the utter chaos which we called a timeline forum, and your depiction of the Internet was rather creative. Oh, and it would've been perfectly alright to use Historian's name in there. It would've given him a good laugh. And, just another note. When I realized what the article was about, I immediately tried searching for a few familiar names from that day's chaos. I'm disappointed that you didn't do that. Hm... I guess Lex could always make something like that...

Meh. It's good I guess.

Originally Posted by Master of ALttP

Heh, I was actually the one who got people to start acting in that thread. It all started when I typed something like *unsheathes sword, plants it in the ground in front of himself, and sits down* and then everyone else started to join in, too. It was really quite entertaining, and we really needed something of the sort in such a stressful situation. You quite accurately portrayed the utter chaos which we called a timeline forum, and your depiction of the Internet was rather creative. Oh, and it would've been perfectly alright to use Historian's name in there. It would've given him a good laugh. And, just another note. When I realized what the article was about, I immediately tried searching for a few familiar names from that day's chaos. I'm disappointed that you didn't do that. Hm... I guess Lex could always make something like that...

I didn't want to do any inside, specific site jokes. As you can see, it was written on ZeldaBlog, which is read by most of the community, not just ZU members.

Originally Posted by Pinecove

Meh. It's good I guess.

Thank you...I guess?