SonicTheLegend's fanfiction.

Ugh if you're going to complain about an original entry here. It's the prolog and first chapter of my Sonic themed Hiroshi story. Hiroshi Uchiha is a series. So if you don't have a clue go find the other THREE by yourself. Since it's clearly advertizing just by sending a link xD.
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Hiroshi Uchiha: Sonic’s Human Rival In Every Way


Prolog….

In the past five years of his life. Hiroshi Uchiha, a smart mouthed well gifted teen from Kadic Academy. Has spent his time getting his memories straight, facing his dreadful past, and mastering his unusual talent… the Sharingan. He did this by accidentally rescuing a fox-girl named Krystal. A member of the Lylat system’s famous bounty hunting team Star Fox. Through a series of unpredicted events and several years of planetary travel. Hiroshi finally got his missing memory back. He has joined team Starfox, and for a while. Spent his time searching for more planets with humans on them. On his latest mission Hiroshi found a planet quite similar to earth in every way. And it was only a stone throw away from his companions in the Lylat system. He now spends his time enjoying a peaceful life on this planet. But that peace won’t last quite as long as he’d hoped.


Chapter One: The Greatest Race of All Time!


“Yeah I know this thing’s valuable Krystal, for research and an energy source. But I think this Chaos Emerald or whatever needs to stay on this planet for some reason. Don’t worry I’ll figure something out…of course. Okay, see you later then.” Hiroshi answered with a groan as he hung up the phone.

(All well, guess I’ll keep this thing in my backpack for now. Hey a charm store, maybe I’ll find a staff like Krystal’s!) Hiroshi thought with excitement as he walked through a town known as Future City.

He’d spotted a small, ornate roadside stand selling charms and probably fake artifacts. Hiroshi had made a bit of money working for this planets government and aiding them in helping with certain criminals or missions. But he hadn’t been spending it on much more than food and clothes.

“Welcome stranger…looking for something… in particular?” A woman asked curiously. She was wearing a beautiful Asian outfit and looked to be about thirty years of age.


“Huh? Oh no…just browsing really. Hmph, I don’t suppose you have any real artifacts here do you?” Hiroshi asked curiously giving her a stern look.

“Oh I see! You’re not interested in mere trinkets hmm? Let me see if I got something in the back.” The woman chimed going behind the curtains. Hiroshi smirked and continued to browse the items. He found a staff, but he could tell it was fake.

(Right…like she’s got anything worth my interest in this shallow place.) Hiroshi thought as he inspected the staff. It was rather well made, but the jewels in the end were plastic. And it had a hollow feel to it.

“Ah…here it is, this is a special copy I found a good long time ago.” The lady stated dusting off an extremely ornate book. It actually looked fake too. Until Hiroshi saw the title.

“Special! Are you crazy lady? This is one of the original printings of the Arabian Nights. You can tell because it’s camel leather. And these bindings are made of solid gold. This is just…incredible. Krystal would die if she saw something like this! Huh…this ring…what’s it for? It’s just connected to the book by a simple necklace. Don‘t tell me…more than seven hundred at least right?” Hiroshi responded with an excited tone. Krystal had been begging for him to find something like this. That’s why she got excited when he found the Chaos Emerald.

“Hahaha, yes for a mere collector perhaps. But… you seem to be more interested in the stories inside. Rather than simply owning such a rare item. I see you’re a pure hearted one as well. Here…take it with you. Just promise your friend will take good care of it. And the ring is believed to house a genie. I believe it’s a mere good luck charm.” The woman answered with a laugh. At first Hiroshi questioned the woman’s sanity. Then he accepted the gift and inspected the ring carefully.

“A genie huh, you mean like wishes and all that nonsense? It…does seem pretty real though. Genie or not, I think I’ll keep it as a good luck charm. Not like I believe in that kind of stuff ether. Thanks for the great deal lady. Krystal’s really going to love this. It’s practically an artifact!” Hiroshi chimed as he put on the necklace and put the book in his backpack. He headed out to the towns square where he heard quite a loud sound.

When he got to the square. He saw the local hero Sonic The Hedgehog, destroying yet another one of Dr. Eggman’s machines. This man was the only criminal that G. U. N. could not contain for too long. Hiroshi almost instantly recognized Sonic for some reason. Probably from one of his many strange reasons.

“Not again I cannot believe this piece of junk failed me! Curse you Sonic… one of these days I will stop you. And your pathetic little friends. Then who will save your precious future city from my Eggman-land domination?” The large round man snapped with a bitter tone. Hiroshi laughed when he saw the large hovercraft separate from the busted mech and retreat. It reminded him of his days hunting down General Scales.

“Junk, are you kidding me doc? You almost had me that time. If only you would learn not to leave the shield generator on the outside. Besides that, you keep forgetting how fast I am. Hmph even Shadow doesn’t mess around when he’s fighting me.” A blue Hedgehog responded with sarcasm as he brushed himself off.

Hiroshi had never actually seen Sonic in person before now. He smirked after examining the strange human looking creature. Even though he didn’t really care. Hiroshi thought he’d see what this guy was made of. He certainly wouldn’t stand a chance against his Shin obi moves and his speed break. Hiroshi took one look at the two tailed fox boy and instantly knew who it was. Miles Prower… probably the only mechanical mind that could out wrench him.

“Sonic…I said you need to be more careful. One of these days that big head of yours is going to get you hurt!” Miles snapped with a stern tone as he inspected the rather impressive mech.

“Take it easy Tails, I beat him didn’t I? Besides…I’m the fastest thing alive, extreme gear or not. There’s no way egghead’s going to defeat me any time soon!” Sonic chimed with an extremely proud tone. Hiroshi walked over to him and tapped the goofball on his shoulder.

“Hmph…fastest thing alive huh? For you weird freaks maybe…” Hiroshi stated with his usual sarcasm. Sonic instantly got steamed. Who did this kid think he was talking to him like that?

“What did you say? Do you realize who you’re talking to? I’m…hey!” Sonic snapped when Hiroshi shoved him out of his face.

“Yeah, yeah I’ve heard it a thousand times over. Sonic The Hedgehog right? It’s no wonder you’ve got such a big head. If you’ve seen some of the machines I’ve torn through. You’d be shaking in those little red shoes of yours!” Hiroshi responded focusing his chakra. Sonic got even more upset. This kid probably worked for G. U. N. the planet’s military power. Compared to earth’s military, their pretty un restrained.

“Oh…so you think cause you know how to toss a kunai you’re better than I am? Ha! You wouldn’t last ten minutes with…Tails? What are you stopping me for? I was just going to slap him around a bit.” Sonic asked with a surprised tone as Tails restrained him. Hiroshi had accurately tossed a kunai past him. Just barely missing his neck.

“Show a bit of respect Sonic! This human is a Shin obi… and a Sanin by the looks of it.” Tails answered after he noticed the symbol on Hiroshi headband. Hiroshi couldn’t help but laugh.

“Shin obi…Sanin? Hmph what the heck does all that mean?” Sonic chimed shrugging his shoulders and turning around

“Oh I’m sorry, was Miles too technical for you? A Shin obi is a ninja warrior, and a Sanin means I’m a legendary ninja.” Hiroshi answered with his usual sarcasm. Sonic turned back around, now he was curious.

“Hahaha, so what is it that makes you legendary Mr. ninja? Probably all of those o so dangerous mechs you were talking about.” Sonic responded with a half interested tone. Hiroshi knew he’d be a stubborn one to prove to.

“Well it’s quite obvious…Sonic. You may be the fastest Hedgehog true, but I’m the fastest human in the universe! See I’m not originally from this planet. And where I’m from even other Sanin can’t keep up with me. Hmph… I see I’m boring you and failing to interest you right? How’s about I sweeten the deal a bit.” Hiroshi answered while pulling out the large green emerald he found earlier.

“Hey that’s…how did you get your hands on that!” Tails asked with a shocked tone. It was the same emerald Eggman had stolen from them a while back.

“Hmph, your so called government sent me after it. And egghead’s mechs fought tooth and claw to stop me from getting away. If it wasn’t for my water dragon jutsu, this little beauty wouldn’t even be here right now. Let alone a helpless Sanin like myself.” Hiroshi answered seriously, he knew he had Sonic’s attention.

“Ugh…alright, so what does G. U. N want for it?” Sonic asked with a groan. He hated G. U. N. partially because of how they treated Shadow a while back. The other reason was because that they were so forceful in their methods they didn’t really care about the general public.

“G. U. N! You presume too much my fleet footed friend. I was thinking more…of a race.” Hiroshi really knew he had Sonic now. He knew he was the kind of person who loved a challenge.

“A race huh, so you took that emerald on your own accord then? Okay…if you think you can beat him then fine. Tell you what…one lap around the world. Starting and ending here, no holding back on ether side.” Tails asked curiously answering for Sonic. Who he knew would’ve had a much more…colorful answer.

“Me racing a human…it’s not worth it! I really need a vacation.” Sonic stated with a disinterested tone. Hiroshi had to think quickly or the race wouldn’t be fun.

“Alright wise guy, how’s about we make a little bet? If you win…I’ll show you my special jutsu, heck I’ll even throw in this emerald of yours. But if I win… you show me that Chaos control trick. Or how to use the power of the emeralds. You know… in case of an emergency.” Hiroshi answered seriously with a manipulative tone.

“Emergency eh…whatever you crazy kid. You want a race and a bet, then you’ve got one! See you here tomorrow Mr. Ninja…” Sonic chimed taking off on his extreme gear.

“Sonic…wait up, hey there’s something I need to tell you first!” Tails shouted trying to keep up with him on foot.

“Mr. Ninja…boy, doesn’t that bring back some fun memories. Hehe…I guess he’s not as predictable as I thought. Huh?” Hiroshi answered thinking out-loud. He’d noticed another hedgehog was listening to the whole thing.

“Hmph, a pathetic human racing Sonic? Well your species continues to surprise me. I guess I should get going and prepare as well. It might be fun having some actual competition. Chaos…control!” The hedgehog stated out-loud as he watched the event. Shadow must’ve known Hiroshi heard him. The second he used the chaos control move he vanished.

(So that was Shadow hmm? Heh…doesn’t look anything like that bat girl tolled me. I guess that must’ve been chaos control. I’d better get some rest too.) Hiroshi thought with a laugh as he headed to a hotel for the night.

The next day, a huge crowd and even a news station was at the square. Hiroshi figured Tails tolled quite a few people about it. Ether that or the news-bot he thought was crushed earlier was still broadcasting. Whatever the reason…a race was still a race. And he had to prove himself to the cocky hedgehog anyway.

You need to do some serious polishing IMO. It's "told", not "tolled". There's a pretty big difference there

Also, I find the story a bit inconsistant. First, hiroshi doesn't seem to know what a Chaos Emerald is, then when he talks to Sonic, he seems to know enough about it to mention Chaos Control. Crystal was obviously interested to use the emerald as a power source, then Hiroshi finds a book which he says "this is just what Crystal was looking for" or something like that. So I guess the power source isn't of concern anymore?

Hiroshi seems like Mary Sue to me. I predict he's gonna win the race againt Sonic and then learn how to use Chaos Control. But unless he's using the genie's power to win (which I don't think he'll do for the reason above), the whole book thing was just irrelevant. It might as well come after that whole race thing.

Also, please never reffer to Robotnik as Eggman again. Thank you ^_^

Well I'll take that as a sideways compliment. But yeah at least you weren't swearing and correcting every little thing you found wrong. But yeah, the whole book thing was irelivant or whatever...at least for THAT moment. Here's a few things about Hiroshi that you do need to know.

1: In a way Hiroshi is me, by way of prinipals and ethics, along with his heavy use of sarcasm. Other than that he's a comepletely different person.

For one Hiroshi isn't shy around girls. He'll even flirt with someone he likes regarless of their "outside" appearance. Me...well I don't really care for girls just yet. Heh I'm not saying that I'm what some people call gay. I mean I'll get myself a girl when I'm good and ready. (And have a full wallet most of the time. xD)

Two Hiroshi is very well built for his age. Me I'm mostly skin and bone, something I don't care about because I don't really like sports, working out, exct. Hiroshi however spends his time improving himself physically and mentally. (when he's not pounding the bad guys.)

And from what I understand, a sara sue. Is a character that looks and acts EXACTLY like the author right down to eye and hair color correct? True I do use Hiroshi as a way to insert myself in these situations. And then figure out how I myself would do battle with Garra Frezza Azula exct with those kinds of abillities. I asked a simi profesional author friend of mine if that's what Sara sue was. And their response was exactly.

"No, to me that sounds more like method acting."

And I do, when I write for Hiroshi (lines, battle stratigies, exct) I put myself in HIS possision.

What would I be feeling in his shoes, If I had his past and talent. ( Find out by reading the other three books) how would I face these opponents? How would these charactars react to my moves with their individual abillities? I ask myself these questions before I even consider writing a particular battle or scene like the one with sonic earlier.

So basically the only real thing (as in real life) the two of us have in common. Is his sharpness in a conversation and his extreme dislike for porn, harassment exct. Other than that he's completely original.

Hehe sorry for ranting dude. But I hate it when people pre-judge my characters without even asking about them in particular. Like their life's story exct. ^_^ I'll finish posting the rest of the story at the fanfiction.net site as well as this thread ONLY. But I have to finish my Avatar The Last Airbender: The Two Elements project (Which is about half done) first. Okay well that's all I have for now.

EDIT: Sonic often calles Eggman these tw names as well. Egghead, Robotnic, but most of the time he calls him by his real name. At least in the games I've played.

Double EDIT: You do realize that Shonen Jump does this "authors pet" thing with Naruto and other main characters as well.(That means the super 8 of the Naruto series) Sure they make you think oh great he's/she's a dead man/woman more often than I do with Hiroshi. But then Naruto busts out the Rasengan or chief toad and saves the day. True you can't "kill" the main character. But shonen jump has yet to kill off say Rock Lee, exct. Only the side characters like that black ops guy Gara kills on the rooftop seem to be the only one's dieing here.

Let's see...

-Spelling and Grammar errors
-Hiroshi is a Mary Sue
-Story is inconsistent
-Seems mostly like a mish-mash of things you like
-Robotnik is incorrectly called Eggman
-There are many in-universe things that are not explained to the reader. For example, what's a sanin?
-Lack of description. What type of machine was he fighting?
-Your language is bland and boring. Try figurative language.
-The story seems dragged out. It doesn't seem to be able to hold the reader's attention (It certainly wasn't able to hold mine for long).
-Is the character Asian? If not, don't give them an Asian name. Also, give them a name that is not from the mind of a narutard/Wapanese.

I could go on, but I'm tired.

Overall, it needs serious work.

Originally Posted by SonicTheLegend

1: In a way Hiroshi is me, by way of prinipals and ethics, along with his heavy use of sarcasm. Other than that he's a comepletely different person.

For one Hiroshi isn't shy around girls. He'll even flirt with someone he likes regarless of their "outside" appearance. Me...well I don't really care for girls just yet. Heh I'm not saying that I'm what some people call gay. I mean I'll get myself a girl when I'm good and ready. (And have a full wallet most of the time. xD)

Two Hiroshi is very well built for his age. Me I'm mostly skin and bone, something I don't care about because I don't really like sports, working out, exct. Hiroshi however spends his time improving himself physically and mentally. (when he's not pounding the bad guys.)

Hehe sorry for ranting dude. But I hate it when people pre-judge my characters without even asking about them in particular. Like their life's story exct. ^_^

Our point is that you should tell us about the character either directly or indirectly through the story. You can't just expect to not judge the character, ok? I mean hell, it's not "prejudging" when the only thing we know about the character is that he is some dude who did a fox-chick and flew through space with Star Fox. We can't exactly ask the story itself, now can we? Your narration has to either show us or tell us what the character is like, NEVER take the easy road. Look, from the way you show "Hiroshi" we can only see him as someone without fault (besides being a smartass) aka a Mary Sue. Characters without fault are NOT INTERESTING AND VERY ANNOYING. Trust me on that one. In my Zelda fan-fic, I have given my characters many faults, especially Link and Tetra. Now, if I made Link some perfect spacefighter that for some reason is also a ninja from Naruto, no one would like my story... at all.

And from what I understand, a sara sue. Is a character that looks and acts EXACTLY like the author right down to eye and hair color correct? True I do use Hiroshi as a way to insert myself in these situations. And then figure out how I myself would do battle with Garra Frezza Azula exct with those kinds of abillities. I asked a simi profesional author friend of mine if that's what Sara sue was. And their response was exactly.

1. It's a Mary Sue
2. Your description is not even close. Follow the link in Hombre's post to see what a Mary Sue actually is.

EDIT: Sonic often calles Eggman these tw names as well. Egghead, Robotnic, but most of the time he calls him by his real name. At least in the games I've played.

His actual name is Dr. Robotnik. Trust me, I played the first sonic games in the 90's (I was around 4 or 5), and then I got Sonic Adventure for the first time. Calling him Eggman was just a way for Sonic to annoy Robotnik, and eventually the former moronic heads of Sonic Team decided to change his name. Old school Sonic fans cringe at the sound of "Eggman," you need to trust me on that one.

Double EDIT: You do realize that Shonen Jump does this "authors pet" thing with Naruto and other main characters as well.(That means the super 8 of the Naruto series) Sure they make you think oh great he's/she's a dead man/woman more often than I do with Hiroshi. But then Naruto busts out the Rasengan or chief toad and saves the day. True you can't "kill" the main character. But shonen jump has yet to kill off say Rock Lee, exct. Only the side characters like that black ops guy Gara kills on the rooftop seem to be the only one's dieing here.

...You're joking, right? Naruto and the other characters have TONS of faults, have you even read the manga/watched the show? Naruto is kept alive because the author chose to, Shonen could have easily decided to kill him. I have not even seen any Mary Sues in that series; even Sasuke has faults.

Also, your spelling/grammar is absolutely attrocious.

Sorry if some of that was harsh, but seriously, we tell you these things for a reason. It's so that you can improve your writing, and better your stories; it's not for you to impress us. We're only trying to help you become better, so please take heed to our suggestions.

P.S. There are WAY too many crossovers; it's actually nauseating.

Sonic Says "Shin-obi....Sanin, what the heck does that mean?"
Hiroshi says "Hmph... A shin obi is a ninja warrior and sanin means I'm a legendary ninja."

pay attention to the actual story while you're grammor/fault checking.

As for you Xeves, that's not harsh, that's honesty and the kind that I can actually pay attention too. Yes I have seen about sixty or seventy episodes of the anime. They freaking made it look like Chogi was gonna die and they brought him back like four or five eps later. That's what I was talking about. And the same faults with the Naruto characters are similar to the faults Hiroshi has. Not physically or appearance related, but personality faults. And if you want a refrance to an existing character. Sonic is a good comparison.

Like sonic, he enjoys a challenge. But when he starts having "fun" he(And no I don't mean like Garra ID) thinks and acts recklessly, especially in a battle. Even more so than say...Naruto. He puts a lot of effort in his training and enjoys it. But usually he thinks its not worth it and shows almost no respect for the person training him. Kinda like sauske. He's also short tempered and quite distrusting twoard certain kinds of people, if they just look "off" to him.(This's what makes him "a wise ass" as you people put it.) He doesn't show much respect.

EDIT: Okay I give in with the robotnick thing. But if that's true, why does everyone that's NOT sonic call him DR Eggman? Wave, the GUN general, and the president call him that as well.Just about everyone in the newer games calls him DR Eggman, he even calls himself that once I think in SA2B. Oh and I didn't even start this thread. Holly spliced it away from the writing contest and created a new one.

Also instead of ranting about what I did wrong, you could provide some sources of information that would be better aid in improving my skills rather than swearing half the time.

Originally Posted by Hombre de Mundo

You need to do some serious polishing IMO. It's "told", not "tolled". There's a pretty big difference there

Also, I find the story a bit inconsistant. First, hiroshi doesn't seem to know what a Chaos Emerald is, then when he talks to Sonic, he seems to know enough about it to mention Chaos Control. Crystal was obviously interested to use the emerald as a power source, then Hiroshi finds a book which he says "this is just what Crystal was looking for" or something like that. So I guess the power source isn't of concern anymore?


Also, please never reffer to Robotnik as Eggman again. Thank you ^_^

Sorry but that's not completely true. With my stories you have to pay real attention to what they're saying. Here's what I mean...


"I know this thing could be great for research and a power source, but for some reason. I think this Chaos emerald or whatever needs to stay on THIS planet." Hiroshi responded with a groan as he examined the rather large green gem.

Sheesh, from what I gather from Krystals personality (or at least the little in the game) she's the type to respect anchent artifacts or other things like it. And yes he doesn't know what it is. But in the short time he's been on the planet he's seen old news reports of sonic transforming. I guess I kinda wanted the reader to figure that out.(Sorry I tend to base my fictions on people that know what the game is or knows enough to get through) And seriously...the public probably talks about Sonic and these Chaos Emeralds so much the reader should be able to guess that much. Krystal can also "sense" energy because she's a telepath. Of course the book/ring thing comes in a bit later in the story. As for the race...hehe I may be a predictibal writer...but not THAT predictable!

EDIT: Sorry for the double post, but I didn't have time to respond last time I was here.

Originally Posted by Zfan121

Okay I give in with the robotnick thing. But if that's true, why does everyone that's NOT sonic call him DR Eggman?

Because Sega is full of idiots who have forgetten how to make a good Sonic game.

Also, Hiroshi is still a Mary Sue with a Wapanese name. Fix it.

EDIT: Sorry for the double post, but I didn't have time to respond last time I was here

Edit button, kiddo.

Originally Posted by Twilight Wolf

Because Sega is full of idiots who have forgetten how to make a good Sonic game.

Also, Hiroshi is still a Mary Sue with a Wapanese name. Fix it.



Edit button, kiddo.

You do realize that he does lose quite a few battles in the series don't you? And no I refuse to change his name and I'll explain why. And no it's not what you're probably thinking right now.

Hiroshi may be an Asian name true. But did you consider that his PARENTS were Asian or one of them, moved to France (where code Lyoko takes place I think.) and have a kid? Sheesh I mean seriously... you're griping about the NAME of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER for crying out loud!

I could go on but I don't feel like ranting immaturilly like I used to. and yeah I guess I coulda used the edit button. Sorry about that... xD

Umm...what exactly makes him a Mary Sue? Because he and I look nothing alike.

EDIT: And seriously...............Wapanese?

Originally Posted by SonicTheLegend

Umm...what exactly makes him a Mary Sue? Because he and I look nothing alike.

I simply cannot believe you haven't grasped the concept of a Mary Sue yet. I don't know if I should be amused of appalled.

EDIT: And seriously...............Wapanese?

Wapanese are people who have a complete fetish for Japan (I.e, you).

Originally Posted by Twilight Wolf

I simply cannot believe you haven't grasped the concept of a Mary Sue yet. I don't know if I should be amused of appalled.



Wapanese are people who have a complete fetish for Japan (I.e, you).

Ohh that really hurt. -_-''' Anyway I revised it like you asked. And I'm asking if this is better than the first version. Do not comment on how crappy the grammor is because I already know that. And I seriously proofread this three times before considering it here. I made quite a few changes those times too!

Hiroshi Uchiha: Sonic’s New Human Rival!

A message from Tails “Wait, read this before skipping to the first chapter. Especially if you don’t know Sonic the Hedgehog or Hiroshi at all. It’ll make the story easier to understand!”

Character Bios

Heroes

1: Hiroshi Uchiha. A Seventeen year old High School Student from a planet called Earth. One day he ran into a fox girl from a place called Corneria and saved her. He joined team Starfox and became a Sanin a legendary ninja warrior through his many adventures. His skills and speed are almost identical to Sonic’s! He has a few Ninjutsu, but he prefers not to use them. As they are quite powerful and a lot of times unnecessary. Sorry but that’s all I know…

2:Sonic The Hedgehog. He’s the greatest of almost any heroes. He’s a blue human-like hedgehog who’s saved our world from Dr. Robotnick and even saved me quite a few times. Um…I’m not sure how old he is, but he acts like a sarcastic teenager. He can outrun everything…on our planet at least.

3:Sharra. Sharra is a gene who Sonic met one day after catching a cold. He saved the world of Arabian knights from the evil Erazor a powerful Genie with her help. Or…did he help save her hmm. I don’t know how old she really is. But she appears to be physically around twenty three. She’s a very beautiful human girl by the looks of it. But Sonic says he hasn’t been able to find her ring since he got back to his world strange isn’t it?

Villains

General Scales: He’s a big meanie just like Dr. Robotnick. He’s what’s called a sharp claw, and he’s also the one who tortured Hiroshi and preformed painful experiments on. He kinda looks like a cross between a human and a lizard.

Dr. Robotnick A. K. A Eggman or Egghead: I think Sonic calls him those other names just to upset him. A large round man who appears to be I don’t know forty or fifty years old. He’s got an incredible IQ of 300, can you believe that? He’s also a master mechanic, and spends his free time developing new ways to try and actually kill Sonic. He said last time that one of these days he’s gonna do it. He’s always trying to find a way to rule the world. Such a waste of good knowledge!

Okay, that should help you for the most part. That reminds me, I gotta go tell Sonic something important about Robotnick’s latest plans! See you soon…but I can’t talk to you. I think it’s called breaking the fourth wall or something!


Chapter One: The New Adventure Begins!


“I knew visiting this Earthlike planet was a good idea. Okay Krystal I think I’m going to stay here for a while. Something just tells me that something big is about to come up here. Are you sure team Starfox can live without my help? Hey…what‘s this thing, dang this is a big emerald!” Hiroshi chimed as he picked up a large green emerald.

“Alright, I suppose so…just promise me you’ll be careful alright? I looked into the criminal databases of this planet and there’s only one. He must be bad if he’s the only one on their files. And you should be careful. That emerald might be important somehow.” The girl on the other end of his com-link answered before she hung up.

(Hahaha…like anyone can take me down! With my gate opening technique, Sharingan, lightning blade jutsu, and this staff Krystal gave me. I don’t even think Orochimaru could face me. Although Krystal probably does have a point because this thing does seem to be putting off some kind of energy. I’d better put this thing in my backpack before I attract any attention…oh great. Hiroshi thought as he saw a red and black hovercraft of some kind approach him. An extremely fat man was piloting it.

“You there boy, I believe that item you have belongs to me. Would you mind giving it back? It’s very valuable and has great sentiment from me.” The man asked with a seemingly harmless tone. Hiroshi didn’t know who this fat man was. But he didn’t like the vibes he was getting from the guys eyes.

“Valuable huh…this thing? Feh, its garbage that I don’t need. But you look like you really want this thing. Hmm… for some reason I know that I can’t just give something like this to a guy like you. Haha…tell you what gramps, you want this emerald you can buy it from me.” Hiroshi responded with a happy tone. He wanted to make sure he’d get something out of it. And he was trying to see what kind of person this obese man with twigs of arms and legs really was.

“Buy do you realize who I am?! Uh…I mean yes…of course. How much do you want for it? Ten dollars, or maybe twenty….yes that sounds about right for a charming young man of your age.” The man answered after catching himself. He didn’t want this kid to figure out what kind of person he was.

“Ha, for an average kid maybe. More like twenty thousand, honestly gramps…I’m no fool. I know how valuable a piece of Ice like this would be worth where I’m from.” Hiroshi answered with a smirk. The old man seemed to cringe a bit before he answered.

“Twenty…thousand? Oh…you drive a hard bargain boy. But very well, I’m afraid I can’t pay you right away. However I am starting a project that if successful, will bring both you and me great wealth. So…how’s about handling the Chaos Emerald over to me?” The man asked with a slightly controlling tone. Hiroshi really felt the bad vibes now. Whatever this thing was, it didn’t belong in this mans hands.

“Chaos emerald you say? My, my, that does change the interest quite a bit. You know normally I wouldn’t trust guys like you. But you seem pretty sure about these plans of yours. Tell you what, you pay me two million now and two thousand when your plans succeed and I’ll give it too you.” Hiroshi answered with his usual sarcastic tone. Then he pretended to walk away and ignore the man.

“T….two…million?! Insolent little brat I'm tired of these little games! Alright fine…if you don’t want to give me that emerald, then I’ll take it from you by force. Attention Egg-carrier one send in my new machine. I was saving it for that cursed Hedgehog. But this thing needs a good test run anyway! Now boy, hear my name and tremble at the might of my Egg Goliath! I am Dr. Robotnick, and soon you will die! Huh…what is that I hear? Are you…laughing?” Robotnick shouted with a frustrated tone as a large six story mech with four arms and a few extra weapons from the looks of it. Hiroshi groaned when he noticed the colors of choice. Krystal once told him that Read and Black meant foolish rage. And he was starting to see why.

“Hahaha…man that has to be the absolute worst bad guy line I’ve ever heard! Hmph, you don’t realize who you’re talking to do you? Bah! Bring it on old man, I bet you can’t even touch me! I’ve taken down machines several times bigger!” Hiroshi chimed as he drew his staff and focused his chakra. He also removed his extremely heavy leg weights. This made a small impact crater as he put them down.

“Well, well…you’re beginning to sound like that accursed Hedgehog. Very well you foolish little whelp. If you insist on facing me rather than retreating, then I suppose I’ll make it quick. Here, let’s see how you handle this! What in the world, how did you block that?!” Robotnick shouted with a shocked tone as Hiroshi actually blocked the large blade that he drew from one of the mech’s arms with his staff. The impact caused a small crater underneath him.

“I should warn you old man, never get on my bad side! Well this's going to be fun. Now you’ve gone and gotten me excited. Haha, oh well don’t worry I promise I’ll make it painless. Of course that tin can will be in the body shop for a good while when I’m through!” Hiroshi chimed as he got out of the swords way. He then ran up the arm and attempted to attack the cockpit. This was merely the hovercraft with a glass shield over it.

Robotnick quickly retaliated by using one of the mechs inner weapons. A laser came up from inside the arm and fired at Hiroshi. This maneuver forced him to jump off the arm and forfiet his attack. He then immediately began calculating a new plan. Hiroshi knew it was going to be rough. So he decided to check the machine’s entire arsenal first.


“Mwahahaha, well you certainly did surprise me boy. It’s too bad, you’re so confident it’s almost laughable. Even Sonic wouldn’t be able to destroy this machine. There’s no way a mere human can. Alright try this on for size boy!” Robotnick responded as four large machine guns formed out of the bottom arms and shoulders of the machine.

(For crying out loud, what kind of mechanic is this madman? And why does he want this emerald so badly? Doesn’t matter, he’s still a bad guy and he’s still getting treated like one. Alright then fat man, you want it then you’ve got it. Now it’s time for me to open the gate of rest!) Hiroshi thought as he got ready to dodge the bullets. Once he formed a hand sign, his speed increased truamatically.

The second they began firing he noticed they were all tracking his movements. He could easily outrun the bullets. But God knows how much ammo they had. Hiroshi knew how to handle this problem. He quickly ran in a circular pattern, preformed a high back flip with his staff and waved at Robotnick as he fell down just in front of the machine. Soon afterward, the machineguns fired on themselves. This caused that particular function to be disabled.

(Hmm…perhaps I have underestimated this brat. He’s probably a warrior of some kind judging by the way he’s dressed and equipped. Bah, it still doesn’t matter. There’s no way he can avoid my flames!) Robotnick thought with a sneer as he pressed a button on his control consol. Surely this would finish him off!

The mech soon produced two large flamethrowers from the hands of the two lower arms. They fired at him quickly. But Hiroshi still managed to use his staff to deflect the flames away from him. He did this by spinning it rapidly in his hand sideways. Once he had enough, Hiroshi jumped out of the way of the flames and threw several kunai knives at the holes the flames were coming from. Causing them to overheat and eventually malfunction.

“What is wrong with this stupid machine?! Bah! No matter…you have yet to see the true power of Goliath!” Robotnick shouted as he pressed a button that detached the two lower arms.

He then began attacking Hiroshi with the machine’s working fists. After noticing that these attacks proved to be ineffective. Robotnick began firing small, quick lasers from the holes in the machines palms. As Hiroshi avoided the deadly beams. He immediately knew what to do to stop it. Short circuiting this thing was the only logical way. But Hiroshi still didn't know how to get that much water.

“Geese doc, I know multifunctional is good. But this is just plain unfair. Haha that is if I was a normal human because I‘m not exactly what you‘d call normal. Alright it‘s time to open the second gate, because this mech is really starting to annoy me!” Hiroshi chimed as he formed some hand signs.

Once he did his speed increased traumatically once more. He even vanished from plain sight. Robotnick immediately pulled up a screen that showed infrared images of Hiroshi. Even then the boy was hard to track. Hiroshi eventually outmaneuvered the lasers and destroyed the firing mechanisms by jamming his staff into one of the holes once he got close enough.

(Interesting…I was expecting this kind of thing from Sonic. But this boy…Hahaha, of course it makes perfect sense. He must be a Shin-obi! Such a shame, I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this!) Robotnick thought with a sneer as the mech finally managed to grab hold of Hiroshi. It then moved him in the center of the machines chest plate.

“For crying out loud, what is it going to take to trash this stupid machine? Alright that’s it…it’s time to bust out my new jutsu. Hmph, I'm surprised I didn't think of using this before. In-nori-chin-an-suchi-shin…” Hiroshi responded with a frustrated tone as he began forming several water style hand signs.

“Hahaha…you honestly think you can avoid this one? Bah, no amount of speed can save you now. Open the main cannon, prepare to fire!” Robotnick snapped with a cocky tone as the chest plate opened. This revealed a large laser powered by the mech’s main source of power.

“You idiot, you just lead me to the machine’s power core. And you also left it wide open to boot. Too bad you didn’t waterproof this thing.” Hiroshi stated with a nervous tone as the canon powered up. He was hoping he could finish the hand signs in time.

“Oh and why would that be a problem? Ha you think you can beat me. But you’re nowhere near as fast as Sonic is! It doesn’t matter there’s still no way you could hmm? What’s that you’re mumbling? Come on boy, out with it.” Robotnick answered with a slightly annoyed tone. Hiroshi grinned as he formed the last two hand signs.

“If you must know I’m using a Ninjutsu, that mumbling was just me using the vocal commands. Alright, time to end this. Water style, giant vortex jutsu!” Hiroshi chimed with an excited tone as he formed the final hand sign.

Shortly afterward a long huge vortex of water formed in front of Hiroshi and blasted right through the machine to the other side! This caused the mech to short circuit and let go of Hiroshi. Robotnick detached the hover craft from the machine and went extremely high into the air.

“Bah, so what if the mech didn’t finish you. If that wasn’t enough to stop you than this surely will. Fare well you annoying little brat! Mwahahaha…” Robotnick chimed as he quickly darted away in his hovercraft.

Hiroshi knew what was coming next and immediately began running a good distance from the mech. He stopped after he realized he was inside a training base. The door was locked down and the machine exploded shortly afterward. Once the explosion dissipated, Hiroshi went to where the machine was to see if his hunch was right. When he inspected the left overs of the machine. He found something rather interesting.

(Huh…another emerald, but this one is blue. These things, they must be an incredible power source. Hmm…I suppose that idiot won’t come back because he thinks I’m dead. And I guess that hedgehog or whatever he was talking about will show up any minute now. Alright then…I’ll just leave these here for him then.) Hiroshi thought with a laugh as he wrote a note to this unknown Sonic character.

“Great…it looks like these walls are solid lithium. Even the lotus can’t break through these walls! And that glass ceiling is way too high for me to jump. Man, I wish I had a way out of…here. Huh...okay this is just freaky.” Hiroshi thought out-loud as he stumbled on a strange gold ring while heading to the door. Afterward the door opened all of a sudden for no apparent reason. Hiroshi picked up the ring and inspected it.

(Well, well…looks like I’ve just found myself a beauty of a good luck charm! It’s weird, but I sense some kind of energy coming from it. It almost feels like…Nah. That’s crazier than the old man. Oh well, I’m out of here anyway.) Hiroshi thought with a laugh as he darted out of the door at an incredible speed.

He figured he’d keep the ring as a necklace. If this thing really did bring good luck. It’d be stupid to just leave it there. A few hours afterward a blue hedgehog looking creature busted through the ceiling. Followed by a similar looking fox with two tails.

“Alright Eggman! Just hand over the emeralds and nobody gets…hurt? Huh…what in the world happened here?! Aww man, I’m never late for anything like this. Something weird must’ve happened. Heh, ether that or Shadow got here first.” The figure chimed with a surprised tone as he inspected the blast marks. He quickly noticed the wreckage of what looked like one of Robotnick’s mechs. And a darn powerful one too.

“S…Sonic! You’re not going to believe this. Get over here and read this letter. It’s…addressed to you, and there are two emeralds here.” A young fox-boy shouted with a frightened tone as he saw the destroyed mech.

“Woah, take it easy Tails. Don’t have a heart attack. It’s probably from one of our friends. Man, whoever did this sure knew how to have fun. I’m almost sorry I didn’t see it myself!” Sonic answered with a sarcastic tone. The fox boy then handed him a letter.

“Sonic…it’s not that at all. Look…it’s not from Shadow or Knuckles! And you know Amy didn‘t do it!” Tails answered with a nervous tone. Sonic un-crumpled the letter and decided to read it after hearing that.

“Weird…it’s like the person that wrote this is talking right to me. If you’re reading this note…you’re probably Sonic the Hedgehog. And you’re probably really confused about what happened in this...training room. At least that's what I gathered this place was. Long story short, some idiot tried to take me down because I had one of these Chaos emeralds! I don't know for sure what they are. But you probably do. So you'll have to explain it if we ever meet in person. Haha, don’t worry about me or my safety by the way. Who do you think did all this in the first place? I wouldn’t have left these here if I thought you didn’t have a pure heart. Man, I can’t wait to meet you in person! Especially after the way that egghead was ranting about you! But I’ve got a little training to do right now. Yours truly… tie jutsu master of the hidden leaf village? I don‘t get it, who or what is this guy?” Sonic asked after he read the letter out-loud. Tails paced the floor as he inspected a kunai he found. Along with a torn leg-weight, that was extremely heavy.

“Of course it makes perfect sense! Whoever this person was, they…were human. And also a Shin obi it means they were a ninja warrior. That would certainly explain this destroyed mech! Especially if whoever did this had the rank of Sanin. Meaning they were a legendary ninja.” Tails responded with an excited tone. It really confused Sonic when he heard this.

“Tails, you’re saying a girl did all this? And that they were human too! That’s almost as crazy as Robotnick is…” Sonic chimed with a surprised tone. He wasn’t sure Tails had his head on straight. There’s no way a human could’ve beaten Eggman.

“SON-IC! That’s so mean…it’s both sexist and racist. I can’t believe you just said something like that! I…don’t quite believe it myself. But shin-obi are believed to be powerful warriors with incredible fighting skills. Some of them might still be around this very day. So it is quite possible, and look at this! This kunai was thrown with extreme precision. I had to pull it out of the firing mechanisms on one of the mechs arms.” The fox-boy with two tails snapped as he showed Sonic the kunai.

“Hey take it easy Tails, I didn’t mean it that way! I’ve just never seen it before that’s all. Of course after getting into and out of the world of Arabian Knights with a genies help. I should be able to believe anything. I wonder where the ring got off to. Oh well, I don’t mean it in a bad way. But Sharra was a little annoying at times. Haha, this is almost as freaky as that monster I used to turn into a while ago.” Sonic responded with a laugh as he jokingly raised his hands like he was being arrested. He didn’t know how serious Tails was being at the moment.

“I’m sorry…it just isn’t like you to say something like that. But come on, I found a new way to use the energy of the Chaos Emeralds! It should really come in handy.” Tails answered with an excited tone as he headed out the door of the training room.

“Haha leave it to you to invent a way to make better use of the emeralds than Robotnick!” Sonic stated with a happy tone as he followed his friend out the door. He was still thinking there was no way a human could destroy Robotnick’s mechs. Especially considering the weapon fragments that were scattered on the ground.

That night Hiroshi spent his time in a local hotel. Pondering who this Sonic the Hedgehog character was and why that crazy Dr. hated him so much. He knew it was the same reason the old man was gonna hate him if he ever saw him alive. After inspecting the mysterious ring with a special scanner Hiroshi brought with him. He did find that there was some kind of energy building inside it. Whatever it was, it must’ve been an artifact of some sort. Hiroshi decided to ignore this fact for the meantime. Believing that he was just being suspicious of the door opening on it‘s own for no reason. And the fact that it happened just before he stepped on the ring itself.


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And before you go harping me about Tails breaking the fourth wall with the authors note. I did that on purpose to add a little silly humor to that part. I just thought I'd have a little fun with the authors note this time.


EDIT: I actually did run grammor check by the way. And I just changed a few tiny things at the last minute. Let me know if you think this version is less choppy than the other one. And I know my grammor sucks and that I have no clue what a Mary Sue is just yet. So please stop ranting and provide a source of usefull information via web link instead alright? I personally believe that method would be much more appealing to me!