Hello to you! This is a re-write of my first TP parody, which frankly sucked. Hopefully this one will do a bit better. I credit, again, inspiration to ManwithThoo because it makes him happy (also to Grass, as do we all). And yes, I’ve mostly dropped the NPC jokes. This is a shortish intro chapter:
P.S. Read reasonably slowly or it seems really rushed, which it isn't. I took me a good hour.
CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTIONS
*We join Link and Rusl at a twilit pool*
Rusl: Hey, Link. Do you ever get all gloomy at the end of the day?
Link: Depends on what I’ve been doing.
Rusl: …You just sounded wise.
Link: I’m always full of the wisdom.
Rusl: And it’s gone again. Um… how would you feel about doing a quest for me?
Link: ANOTHER quest? Why me?
Link: WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE LINK? EVERYONE ELSE- *gets smacked*
Rusl: Don’t pull more of this drama queen crap on me, you hear?
Rusl: Now, I want you to go because you’ve been cooped up here your whole life. You need to get out and see the world.
Link:*is still pouting*
Rusl:*sighs* Go and help Fado. I think he’s been yelling for you.
The two head back for Link’s house
Mysterious Specter: Fear for your life, puny mortal!
Link:*snatches a pitchfork off the wall and rams it through Mysterious specter* HYAHH!!!
Mysterious Specter:*Catches fire* Oh, dammit. Not again!
Link: Now who are you and what are you doing in my house?
Mysterious Specter:*Trying to put itself out* No, the question is- who are you?
Link: I’m going to jab you until I get a straight answer!
Mysterious Specter: You suck.
Mysterious Specter: I mean… I mean that one such as I cannot possibly comprehend your true greatness, and so may be… um… misled to… ah, misconstrue you as less than divine!
Link: Aw, shuck- hey, no evading! Who are you and what are you doing here???
Mysterious Specter: I’m your fairy Godmother!
Link: I have a flaming, floating skull for a fairy Godmother?
Mysterious Specter: Yes! Of course!
Link: Nice try. But my Godmother died two years ago. I was at her funeral.
Mysterious Specter: Oh, bloody hell. Well, I’m a supporting character here to lend humor and support to you and this parody.
Mysterious Specter: You wouldn’t understand.
Link: What is your name, then?
Mysterious Specter: I have been known by many names throughout history! I am Sakhr al-Jinni, N’gorso the Mighty, and the Serpent of the Sliver Plumes! I have rebuilt the walls of Uruk, Karnak, and Prague. I have spoken with Solomon. I have run with the buffalo fathers of the plains. I have watched over Old Zimbabwe until the stones fell and the Jackals fed on its people. I recognize no master! But the name you shall know me by is-
Bob: What? No, you shall call me-
Link: Bob. I already said that.
Bob: No! That’s not manly or cool or anything!
Link: I recognize the spiel. You got it out of a book.
Bob: Did not!
Link: Besides, it’s now to the left of your text. Too late now!
Bob: You… you butthead!
Link: The mighty Sakhr al-Jinni, reduced to throwing potty humor at those who displease him.
Fado: LINK! HEY, LINK!
Link:*pokes head out the window* Yeah?
Fado: LINK! COME HELP ME HERD SOME GOATS?
Link: I can hear you just fine! Stop shouting!
Fado: LINK! IF YOU DON’T HELP ME WITH SOME GOATS I’LL… TELL ON YOU!
Bob:*Pops out a different window* Are you deaf, you hick? Stop yelling!
Fado: HOLY FARORE! *Flees*
Link: You moron! You probably lost me my job!
Bob: It’s not my fault these people are rightly afraid of my might.
Link: What might? Loser. *Looks around* Hey… where’s my horse?
Bob: There was this one babe in a really weird outfit, you see. Not as weird as yours, though. But unlike you, she had some really nice-
Link: Bob. What about the horse?
Bob: You take all the fun out of life.
Link: What about the horse?
Bob: Hmph. Well, the one girl took it and headed down that road. I was going to stop her, but I got distracted.
Link: Riiiiight… I’m going to get my horse back. Are you coming?
Link: Ok, then. Get in the bag.
Bob: What??! No!
Link: You freaked out Fado. I’m not having you terrify my girlfriend.
Bob: But a sack! That’s just cruel! I’ll have the ASPCA on your arse!!
Link: You should have thought of that before you came. Now get in the sack or stay here.
Just read the two chapter, and I must say, this parody definately has a lot of potential. If I were two classify the parodies in the forum into two groups, good and bad, this would definately be on the good side.
That whole thing with Bob was very original. Maybe the name wasn't all that original, but still. It's also had its moments which made me laugh real hard, like the blade of grass thing and the overly intelligent cat.
The parody does have its minor problems, though. First of all, the second chapter was WAY too radom. It was really hard to visualize what was going on there. But hey, I have to admit that's my problem too. And you also broke the fourth wall a little too early. I know it's fun breaking the fourth wall, but I think it would've been better if you saved the fourth wall for later. I also encountered a few typos.
I have a suggestion, though. If you want characters to scream at the top of their lungs, just like Fado, you should try and italiscize the dialogue instead of just sticking with caps. It would look best if it was both all caps AND italiscized.
And just a humor suggestion:
Bob-in-the-sack: One dense broad, isn’t she? *is whacked* Ow!
Funny readings! Almost as the Dragmire Diaries.. Too bad they got discontinued...
But is his real name Murray?
Originally Posted by The Curse of Monkey Island
Guybrush Threepwood: Can I call you Bob? Murray:You may call me Murray!
I'm a powerful demonic force!
I'm the harbinger of your doom!
And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I STRIDE through the gates of hell carrying your head on a pike! Guybrush Threepwood: 'Stride?' Murray: Alright then, 'ROLL! ROLL through the gates of hell.'
Must you take the fun out of everything?