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Old 07-13-2007, 08:15 PM
TubaMan TubaMan is offline
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Perfect poems and lovely lerics

I have poems and lerics that I think are good tell me if you like them


Poem-The silent light

Light is what we love,
The tears it brings,
The joy it shoves.

The essence of light is a binding joy,
We use it as a toy,
And wish upon its gleaming hope,
Not once should we mope.

The light says no words,
Yet answers are questions,
Just like the birds,
It soothes and heals.

The silent little light,
That glimmer of shining might.
That little silent light.
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Old 07-14-2007, 01:23 PM
TubaMan TubaMan is offline
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Re: Perfect poems and lovely lerics

Here are 2 more poems


The Hero

As time passes by,
Evil roams the land,
A hero is born,
Who must not dye.

Sent from above,
To pierce the evil,
To give a shove,
To the evil of the land.

And as time passes on,
The hero returns,
To slay evil again and again,
A hero's life is never over.

An echo

An echo responds,
Wether it brings,
Love or Despair,
An echo respondes.

It will always be there,
No matter what,
As long as you live,
It will always be there.

The dark unfolds,
The truth exposed,
The echo will tell,
A mysterious tale.
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http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...haku-dark.html please rate my character mods so i can get him accepted
My Misc. writing
[B][SIZE="1"]Adopted by
sgt. revolver peppers


You are a Zora
You're energetic! You are quite the outgoing person. Sports and music probably are your two favorite things. There's always some kids in the world that will give you stress, but you don't care. They can't harm you. This is also Wind Waker Link's result!
Last Edited by TubaMan; 07-14-2007 at 01:31 PM. Reason: ... Reply With Quote
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Old 07-14-2007, 03:52 PM
sugar sugar is a female United States sugar is offline
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Re: Perfect poems and lovely lerics

I think that the topics of your poems are both enjoyable and relatable :]. For example, everyone is familiar with light, and I suppose we all have a certain "light" in our life that is always capable of bringing us joy. However, I felt that some of the rhyming in your poems was a bit forced, and that took away from the overall mood of the poem. Like:

Quote:
Light is what we love,
The tears it brings,
The joy it shoves.
The verb "shove" doesn't really seem to match what you describe light as being- a gentle bringer of joy.

But aside from the somewhat forced rhyming and a few spelling errors, I enjoyed your poems :]. My favorite was actually "An Echo". Unlike the others, it lacked rhyme, but within it you kept up a very simple, steady rhythm that I think really displayed the point of the poem.

so yeah. keep it up? :]
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Old 07-14-2007, 04:57 PM
TubaMan TubaMan is offline
Gerudo Thief
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: I forgot
View Posts: 108
Re: Perfect poems and lovely lerics

ok thanks and i have a new poem

The only key

The only key is thruth,
As it opens the doors to trust.

With out thruth,
All is lost.

If you take and I give,
What will be left for me?

As you see,
The only key,

Truth is a journey,
to open a lock.

Nobody would be anywhere,
without the key called thruth.

So remember thruth,
As the only key.

(this one has an instant morale anyone should see to tell the thruth.)
__________________
http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...haku-dark.html please rate my character mods so i can get him accepted
My Misc. writing
[B][SIZE="1"]Adopted by
sgt. revolver peppers


You are a Zora
You're energetic! You are quite the outgoing person. Sports and music probably are your two favorite things. There's always some kids in the world that will give you stress, but you don't care. They can't harm you. This is also Wind Waker Link's result!
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