Legend of Zelda: Origins of the Fierce Deity

Originally Posted by Carge

... Nice chapter, great description, but i didn't understand when the Keese attacked, what happened?

You didn't understand... I'll check that part to see if it needs rewriting. Anyways, what happened was when the chest containing the Lens of Truth fell to the ground it upset twenty keese (a score) which came down to see what had happened. When they saw Link they started attacking him.

Very good chapter Hyrule, I give that 10/10. I loved how the mask had it's own mind.

Originally Posted by Pinto545

Very good chapter Hyrule, I give that 10/10. I loved how the mask had it's own mind.

Hey, I hoped someone would notice that. As Link uses the mask more he'll be able to have some form of communication with it.

personally hate your story, the title sounds cool but after reading the prologeu i just knew it wouldn't be a great story.

As the hero exited the forest that held the gateway to the foreign land, he was confronted by his greatest enemy, Ganondorf. The hero acted in haste and put on the Fierce Deity Mask. For a reason unknown, the mask overpowered the hero. He defeated Ganondorf, but the mask had already put his mind into a long sleep. For half a decade the mask terrorized the land. On the sixth year of the hero's return the mask lost control of him and he was able to act as he wished again. The hero disappeared to somewhere in Hyrule and the land was left in a state of chaos.

after reading this i was like WTF, first of all how the hell did ganon come back?
And you should make a reason why he put on the fierce deity mask, and don't forget only the master sword and light arrows can harm ganondorf.
and then he just terrorized hyrule? and for now reason the mask stopped controlling link?

you really should improve your story right now it's kinda lame now.

Originally Posted by masterhuman

personally hate your story, the title sounds cool but after reading the prologeu i just knew it wouldn't be a great story.

As the hero exited the forest that held the gateway to the foreign land, he was confronted by his greatest enemy, Ganondorf. The hero acted in haste and put on the Fierce Deity Mask. For a reason unknown, the mask overpowered the hero. He defeated Ganondorf, but the mask had already put his mind into a long sleep. For half a decade the mask terrorized the land. On the sixth year of the hero's return the mask lost control of him and he was able to act as he wished again. The hero disappeared to somewhere in Hyrule and the land was left in a state of chaos.

after reading this i was like WTF, first of all how the hell did ganon come back?
And you should make a reason why he put on the fierce deity mask, and don't forget only the master sword and light arrows can harm ganondorf.
and then he just terrorized hyrule? and for now reason the mask stopped controlling link?

you really should improve your story right now it's kinda lame now.

Well if we're saying the split time line is right, then Ganondorf wouldn't be dead or sealed yet as this is after Majora's Mask. Who said they were the only things that could harm him? In OoT you can hurt him with the Biggoron Sword and a few other things. They're not the only things that can hurt, probably just the only things that can seal him. As for the mask and Link, wouldn't you get tired after running around for five years? yes. The mask was losing power daily trying to keep a hold on Link's mind so he wouldn't wake up and get control of his body again. The Fierce Deity lost control and Link could use his body again. Link couldn't use his body and in the story, the mask is a separate being than the person who uses it. As for why he used the Fierce Deity instead of something else, well it's the strongest thing he had with him.

Plus, it sounds like you only read the prologue. You should read the rest

Edit: Actually, after thinking, I noticed you had a point there and have decided to scatter the answers to your questions in the story.

It's a bit late but now it's finished:
Chapter 4

There I stood, back at my father's farm in the shed. The whole thing was empty, only containing a few farming tools. I chose one of the axes that lay on the wall and headed outside to help my father split some logs. Before I could go through the door a large silhouette blocked my way. The shape was strongly built and carried a great double helix sword. I looked towards its face, the only thing that I could see in color. It had white hair and face markings all over. I looked into the eyes. They held red pupils. They stared at me. My mind began to fade out. The figure began laughing. Its hand reached towards my forehead. Thunder boomed. I woke up.

My whole body was shivering. I thought back to my dream. Does that mask scare me enough to give me nightmares? I wiped sweat from my head and reached for my supplies sack. The mask was still in it. I sighed in relief and checked outside.

The sun was just starting to rise. I went to get a snack but decided against it. I got my supplies ready and headed outside.

At first I ran, but as I got tired I slowed my pace. I looked at the world around me. On a branch lay a nest that a bird sat in. Two squirrels chased each other on a tree trunk to my left. I saw a large tree with many branches. I wonder how much forest I still have left to cover? I thought to my self. Hoisting myself up I began my climb. It took quite a while to start but I continued faster as more branches came into reach of my hands.

I sat at the top of the tree viewing the land. I had about a day and a half's worth of trekking through the forest left. I began to climb down but lost my foothold and fell to the ground. I landed on my back my right hand landing in a small imprint set the ground. I lay there trying to control the pain in my head. When it finally went away I stood up and examined the imprint my land had landed in.

It was a large foot print as big my sword and as wide as my two hands put together. It had three clawed twos. I gasped. I've seen this before! It's a moblin footprint! I could tell because I had seen a print exactly like it in the book on the Hero of Legend. What I had been reading the night before I left home was only a summary on the third part of the book.

I got my supplies sack from the ground and ran off at full speed.

Yes, I know I said chapter 1 would be the minimum length, but I thought I had waited for too long before posting another chapter. I would've done it before but I had no time to write.

This wasn't the greatest chapters, I give it a 8.5/10, just because of length. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Oooh i like thism in total of all your chaptors i give it a 9.999/1000/10

I like this story! Poor Link, he got thrown out.

well atleast he can own 20 keese in....40 minutes..lol i hope the moblins dont get em XD

Originally Posted by me_link

well atleast he can own 20 keese in....40 minutes..lol i hope the moblins dont get em XD

Well, he's not the best swordsman, yet. As for the moblins, you'll have to wait and find out.

When's the nest chpater coming up? I really like your story.

Originally Posted by \/\/ind \/\/aker

When's the nest chpater coming up? I really like your story.

I'm not really sure, it depends when I start it. If I started today, it might be done by Thurs. Every time a new chapter is posted wait about three days until the next one comes out (unless I do what I did with chapter 4, which I probably won't now, seeing that it's my last day of school).

Originally Posted by Hyrule144

This is my first fan-fiction. Hope you like it:

Prologue

Long ago, about two hundred and a half years ago, the Hero of Legend returned from a quest in a foreign land and returned to Hyrule. They say that in his journey he collected several different masks, some of which held magic abilities, that when worn would change the hero into the shape the mask represented. All these masks were left in the foreign land. All but one.

This one mask, the Fierce Deity Mask, held great power, but at a risk. As the hero exited the forest that held the gateway to the foreign land, he was confronted by his greatest enemy, Ganondorf. The hero acted in haste and put on the Fierce Deity Mask. For a reason unknown, the mask overpowered the hero. He defeated Ganondorf, but the mask had already put his mind into a long sleep. For half a decade the mask terrorized the land. On the sixth year of the hero's return the mask lost control of him and he was able to act as he wished again. The hero disappeared to somewhere in Hyrule and the land was left in a state of chaos.

When the hero returned he came without the accursed mask. He helped rebuild the land and give hope back to it's people. As he grew old in age the Hero of Legend began taking on apprentices, each of which became a-

"Link! Blow out that candle and go to sleep! You'll have to wake up early again tomorrow!"

That's my father. By the way my name's Link.

How is it?

I was really lost in the climax of the story..You mentioned the Fierce Diety Mask..Thats the mask you get from MM hen you coolect all the mask in the game...As soon as I saw that mask was mention I couldnt wait to read this amazin story...

I like this chapter...YOur story is real getting to me...Loving it...

Chapter update:

Chapter 5 won't be up 'till the weekend. I was halfway through it, but I lost all I had written due to my internet browser freezing up. Also I've had no time to work on it due to a friend coming over for the day yesterday and a birthday party today.

Well, I've finished chapter 5. I've switched to Word, so now I won't lose what I write. Anyway, here it is:
Chapter 5

I kept running. If those moblins get me I’ll be in big trouble! The sun was just beginning to set. Keep running! Keep running! I kept repeating to myself. My stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten all day! I looked back to check if my supplies sack was still attached to my scabbard. I didn’t get to.

Before I could I lost my footing and tripped. I didn’t fall very hard, but I was too tired to do anything but lie there. After about an hour I stood up, my strength returned to me. I looked towards the sky. The sun could barely be seen above the horizon.

My stomach rumbled again. I looked to my back. The supplies sack was still there. Reaching for it I sat on the ground. I opened it and set in on my lap. Pretty soon crumbs of bread and bits of died meat were all over the ground. Flinging the sack to the side I let off a small belch. I looked towards the sack. Maybe one more bite.

I lifted the sack and peered inside. I dropped it, shocked at what I had seen. Only half of what I had packed was left! I’ll have to ration it. I said to myself. I took off my scabbard and attached the sack to it. While putting the scabbard back on my back I wondered where I would sleep for the night. I looked towards where I fell.

“This looks like a good place to spend the night,” I told myself. A closer examination made me curl my face in disgust. Near every crumb of food were ants! Plus the ground was still muddy from last night’s storm. “Or not,” I chuckled as I walked away.

After another hour I found a site that I was content with. The site contained only a tree surrounded by bushes. By circling the tree I was able to find a gap between two bushes. Between the bushes was an entrance to a hole dug under the roots of the tree. I walked away from the tree. The hole was barely visible. I went to the hole and sat down it. Pretty soon I was fast asleep.

___________

The next day I awoke to the sound of the bushes rustling. I rubbed my eyes. I wonder what that is. I crawled out of the hole and through the bushes. Once outside I looked around.

Whatever was making that noise shouldn’t be too far. I told myself. I walked forward. Then I saw a large whitish-blue stone fly out of nowhere and hit my knee. I sat down and checked my knee, wincing at the pain. I had a small bruise but nothing else. I wonder who threw that stone at me. I heard some more rustling.

It was coming from behind me. I turned around to find a strange round creature. The creature was red and had four nubs as legs. Under two large eyes it had a strange tube that seemed to be inhaling air. It stared at me for a bit and stopped breathing. I wonder what happens when it exhales.

I soon learned the answer to that. The creature inhaled a bit more and shot another stone at me. I jumped out of the way and ran at the creature. Once I got near enough I lunged at it with my sword. I managed to stab its side.

I took the blade out. The creature’s red skin turned a bit lighter and the body seemed to shrink a little. I wiped the blood off of my sword on the grass and went back to the tree to get my supplies.

Heh, great description of the octorok...
But, i didn't know they shrank when they died...

Originally Posted by Carge

Heh, great description of the octorok...
But, i didn't know they shrank when they died...

Yeah, I sorta made that part up. As a replacement for when they blow up and a bunch of smoke shows up (like in Wind Waker).

Nice chapter, I give that a 9.7/10!

I also like the description of the octorok!

A little short, but still a really good chapter.