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Old 06-14-2006, 06:40 PM
Lady Knives Lady Knives is a female Lady Knives is offline
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Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality (Fan/Act/Hor) [M]


Characters and plot ideas belong to Sammantha Rae Harkness, save for Sheeroo Shiori,
who rightfully belongs to T.F but was used in this story with his permission.


Prologue


The twin moons hung high in the sky on this night, like two ghostly galleons sailing their way through a sea of stars. Light shone in from the magnificent oak double doors, which opened out onto a large, silver-white, marble balcony. Blood red was the color the twin moons shone. This was no ordinary night. It was the night that the true heir of the throne was born.

That night held an awkward silence, though it would not be lasting for too much longer. The preparations had been made. Now, it was time for all plans to be played out. Tonight, the true power of Darkness would be unveiled. And tonight, the beast which had been dormant for so long would be awakened.

A dark-looking girl, not but fourteen years of age was relaxed, eyes closed as she laid back in a tub of steaming water. She was to bathe before the ceremony, to look her best. A servant had been sent into the room to help bathe this young lady, and she did not protest. After the servant was done bathing her, she had told him that she wished to be left alone. Her mind and body were stressed.

Markings on her forearms and midriff could be seen. The two on each of her forearms were black, tattoo-like markings, coiled into 'S' shapes with four dots spaced apart above the top and bottom curves of the snaked line. The one on her stomach was a simple swirl, traveling from the bottom of her midriff, up, and then curled inwards from the left. These were demonic markings, something she was born with. Something that confirmed the existence of the true heir to the ancient throne of the Abyss. These markings only appeared on this night. Her birthday. When the twin moons of her realm, as well as any other's bled red.

Tonight, she was not at peace. Her soul was unsettled, and she had the feeling that something was wrong. Nevertheless, she stood up from the grand basin of scorching water, and the liquid streamed down the curves of her body. Its luminescence shown as she moved, the morbid light of the moon's casting their bloody gaze upon the young woman's body.

Dark eyes, like two puddles of oxygenated blood traveled across the room, slitted, demonic pupils adjusted to the amount of light in the room. They soon came to gaze upon the bathing room's doorway, where Eclipse stood silently in waiting. She gently grabbed a towel from a nearby bench, wrapping herself in its inviting warm, softness.

"It's time, My Lady." Eclipse's calm, smooth, and soft tone sliced through the silence.

- - - - -

Author's Note: So this is the prologue. Believe me, there is far more to come. Sorry if it is short, I will be starting on the first chapter tonight, I think. I am allowing those who wish to comment to do so between chapters, I don't mind. Just don't bash me. You can give me advice, if you'd like, I don't mind that either.

Regardless, this is a story about my character Knives Eclipses(Eclipse-SEAS), and her "Awakening Ceremony." The Ceremony in which Knives' powers were awakened, and she became what she is today.
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Last Edited by Lady Knives; 08-11-2008 at 08:45 PM. Reason: Forgot to add the rating of the Fic. Reply With Quote
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Old 06-14-2006, 07:20 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

you did a good job on the descriptions and all the details and stuff! i can't wait for the first chapter.
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Old 06-14-2006, 07:21 PM
Lady Knives Lady Knives is a female Lady Knives is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Thank you very much, sir.



And I will be starting on the first chapter tonight, hopefully.
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Old 06-14-2006, 07:33 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

*pounce*

This sounds awesome, Luff. I can't wait to see what else you've got stored up in that beautiful head of yours. <3
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Old 06-14-2006, 08:03 PM
Selah Selah is a female Selah is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Ah, captivating first lines. "Ghostly galleons" and "the night that the true heir of the throne was born". It evokes shade and wine-red shadow, stirs anticipation, whispers of events to come. This entire prologue serves its function well; I'm eager to learn what follows - what ceremony shall transpire. Did I mention I loved the mention to the "true heir"? There is a ring to it as suffuses this starting piece...
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Old 06-14-2006, 11:07 PM
Pyroth Pyroth is a male United_States Pyroth is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

That was a great read LK. Keep up the good work, I can't wait for the next chapter. I loved how you kept everything mystrious. Great job.
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Old 06-14-2006, 11:18 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Wonderfully done. As someone said already, great description. I love it. Only one problem, though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Duh!
They two on each of her forearms were black, tattoo-like markings, and coiled into 'S' shapes, with four dots spaced apart above the top and bottom curves of the 'S' shapes.
First, "they two"? I'm guessing a minor typo. Probably should be "the."

Second, too much clutter. Not all of those words and commas are quite necessary, I believe. More like one or two.

Next, that "'S' shapes" part. Could you try to use a different term? They're too close together and it's not good. I'm sure you, of anyone, could think up a synonym. And I'd complain about the first paragraph, too, but there's more space. Maybe you could fix the "twin moons" thing or something. So instead of what you have there, try something like:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mine!
The two on each of her forearms were black, tattoo-like markings, coiled into 'S' shapes with four dots spaced apart above the top and bottom curves of the snaked line.
That's just me. Feel free to do whatever.
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Old 06-14-2006, 11:40 PM
Lady Knives Lady Knives is a female Lady Knives is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Thanks for the advice hun. I'll make sure to keep everything you said in mind.

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Old 06-16-2006, 11:23 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Bob Saget, that was amazing. The imagery was dead-on. It set a certain tone that suits the scenario, and, I imagine, the rest of the story. Too often are prologues written that give too much away, when they're really just meant to prepare the reader and put them in the frame of mine to understand and enjoy the rest of the story. This prologue did what it was supposed to =].

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Old 06-17-2006, 11:11 AM
Lady Knives Lady Knives is a female Lady Knives is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Chapter One


A strange silence arose between the two, before Knives' eyes met Eclipse's. Ria, the servant which was behind Eclipse, made her way up and around him. A long black and flowing dress was held in her hand. It was strapless, and had a satin strip at the top where it would hold the dress on Knives' body, and keep it from slipping down. "This is what your father picked for you to wear." His soft voice once more broke the silence. He received a faint nod from his Lady, who stepped forward. Her gaze was averted to the dress. It was beautiful. It was one of the only dresses that had been given to her throughout her life.

Not a single word crossed Knives' lips, she was in a grave mood, but it was sure to lighten sooner or later. "I shall leave you to dress then, my lady." Eclipse spoke shortly before slowly turning and leaving the room. Ria stayed behind to dress Knives, and moved over to the soon-to-be Lady of the Abyss. "May I have the permission to clothe you, my lady?" the servant asked in a soft tone, her voice silent and modest. "Yes, you may." Knives answered softly, her voice monotone and bland. Ria nodded, moving closer. The young heir let the towel fall from her body, every inch of her body, her smooth, flawless, pale skin being looked upon by the twin moons, which still hung so menacingly in the midnight blue sky.

Her skin was illuminated by the bloody light of the moons, and Ria was put into awe at the magnificence of the young lady's body. The servant regained her composure, and silently made her way behind Knives. "Once I hold this down, I'd like you to step into it." the demonic young servant spoke softly, once more referring to the dress. Moments later, the servant had dropped near the ground, feeling her lady step into the dress. That was the signal to gently drag the dress up, over her ankles, calves, knees, thighs, up over her hips, stomach, then finally over her chest.

After having slipped it up all the way, she began to fasten the small, metal clips on the back of the dress, which started at her lower back, and traveled all the way up to just below her should blades. Then, Ria went to work on Knives' hair, running a brush through her ebony locks. The young lady's eyes were closed, and she was in a meditative state. The servant brushed out any knots in her lady's hair, and made sure that ever factor of her appearance was flawless. "You look breathtaking, my lady." Ria's voice cut through the air. They were in front of a large vanity mirror, and the servant could see herself from behind Knives.

Knives gazed at herself in the mirror for two long minutes, examining every curve of her body. She had truly never been this dolled up so much. "You clean up quite nicely, Knives." Eclipse's soft tone rang out in her direction, causing Knives to focus on him, behind herself since she was in front of a mirror. He was right behind her, dangerously close, though it didn't bring her any discomfort. The Royal Advisor ran his fingers through her hair, smiling a handsome, calm smile. "As beautiful and as charming as your Mother..." He murmured silently under his breath, "But as dangerous, elegant, and as powerful as your Father..." His smile lingered, before his expression faded back into that of tranquility and calmness.

"Now, is the time for you to rise to your proper place. I knew it all along my dear. I have been waiting for this day for decades." He spoke as if he was her father himself, a certain proudness was audible in his tone. After all, he was the one who basically raised her from birth. 'It is a shame that Raenis had to go off and kill Natalia. She didn't deserve to die.' This thought lingered in Eclipse's mind as he let Knives' raven locks slip from his fingers and fall back into place. "Well, m'dear, we should be making our way to the temple right about now." A pleasant smile graced the Royal Advisor's lips as he looked down upon Knives.

"Of course." Knives cooed softly. She had always loved Eclipse as a daughter would a Father. He was more of a Father than her biological father himself was. She turned slowly, and gracefully on her heel, before stepping into a pair of black, tie-up sandal-like shoes. The strands which held the sandals on criss-crossed up her shin. They were made of silk, and were cool against her skin. She pulled up her dress a bit and set some of it on her knee. Then, she bent down to fasten the silken straps across her shin, and over her shapely, muscular calves.

Eclipse had long been in the Kingdom of Solaris, well over countless centuries had passed, leaving Eclipse as old as time itself. As far as anyone knew, he was immortal. Though all knew that he was by Raenis' side in the Apocalyptic Hagmata War. He and Raenis were Historic Warlords. Merciless both on the battlefield and off. Eclipse was a strange type of demon, and had no specific class, though he was most definitely vampiric. It was rare in these times to have a Vampire/Demon, and it was however, not frowned upon. Infact, many Overlords sought to have Vampiric power themselves.

She stood up and looked up at Eclipse, who stood at least a foot or two higher than she. Eclipse offered her his hand, and she gratefully took it. She stood herself up. "Are you ready, m'lady?" he asked silently as he looked down at Knives, who looked up at him calmly. "Yes, of course." Her voice sounded softly. Her expression was more tranquil now. She had calmed herself in the wake of Eclipse. He had always brought her a certain comfort, which she couldn't explain; it was something that allowed her to relax when he was near.

They began to make their way out of the bedroom, then into the hallways and corridors, where they kept a slow but steady pace. They were on their way to the Temple of Verexiz(Vare-eggz-eez)(Translation: Temple of Blood), where only ancient ceremonies were held. The temple was made of stone, a flight of downward stairs meeting you at its mouth. The stairs took you deep, deep down below ground, into a crypt-like room. Beyond the room was a large ceremonial chamber, benches where the Elders sat, as well as a large glyph in the very center. The floor beneath was a rare form of Obsidian-Marble, which was a practically unbreakable substance because of how it was created.

The temple itself had been around for eons, and still stood sturdy as it had all the years before that day.

Eclipse had creamy, pale skin, and pitch black hair, that traveled all the way down to his behind. It complimented his skin quite nicely. His hair was also as silken as Knives', and as taken care of as hers as well. His eyes were Ruby, as deep as any fiery pit of Hell. Each and every time he would look at someone, it was as if he was boring holes straight into them and into their soul. His gaze was intense, and few people could withstand the ferocity of it. Knives however, had become accustomed to it. Infact, she was absolutely fascinated with those eyes of his.

He was clad in a gun-metal grey robe, which flowed behind him as he walked. An earring of Gold dangled from each of his ears. This was something he always wore. Knives also had a golden earring of her own, personally gifted to her from Eclipse himself. The only difference was, she had only one, which hung from her left earlobe. It was a thin golden bar, which dangled down, which at the bottom a golden cresant moon hung from. On the bar were engravings in the ancient Abyssal language. Knives was taught how to speak, as well as write in it fluently. However, the letters engraved upon that bar of hers, she did not know what they were. Eclipse hadn't taught her anything about these types of symbols and phrases. When she asked him to tell, he never did. He always just smirked playfully and said, "I'll tell you when the time is right." It was always the same answer, and it bothered young Knives to no end.

After about ten minutes had passed, they arrived at the back palace gates, which led to the dangerous and menacing forests of the abyssal city, Solaris. For a quick arrival to the temple, Eclipse used a form of transportation that he called 'Flitting.' He took hold of Knives' hand and smiled charmingly at her, before a pushing sensation held them both in place for about two seconds. Once it stopped, Knives' hair fell back down onto her shoulders. Their bodies had disappeared, and then reappeared a few feet away from the temple's entrance. Knives looked up at the stone entryway of the temple, not really impressed at its bland appearance.

The Royal Advisor looked down fondly at Knives, his expression calm, and his eyes to match. His soul was at unrest, though he didn't know why. He once more took Knives' hand in his, and wordlessly led her down to the very depths of the Earth.
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Last Edited by Lady Knives; 07-30-2008 at 07:44 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-17-2006, 11:49 AM
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

I have only one thing to say.........GREAT work ! *claps* you did an outstanding job on imagery and descriptive words, it is an great example of an eloquent piece of art. but maybe a bit more dialouge may help... but it is very well layed out and facinating. Keep up the good work!!!
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Old 06-17-2006, 11:52 AM
Lady Knives Lady Knives is a female Lady Knives is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Believe me, this is just the beginning. There will be more dialogue as time goes on. x3

I just haven't gotten to any interesting parts yet. Haha..
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Old 06-17-2006, 03:24 PM
Selah Selah is a female Selah is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

And so, chapter the first. My interest is piqued. Your attention to detail is most particular, as is the exposition that you weave into the description. The final paragraph was graceful, the closing line more so.
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Old 06-18-2006, 08:34 PM
Lady Knives Lady Knives is a female Lady Knives is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

I am glad that you enjoy my writing! I will be coming out with Chapter Two within the next few days.

I will probably stay up writing quite a bit tonight.


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Old 06-19-2006, 08:42 AM
Tiroth United Kingdom Tiroth is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Not bad at all, Ms. Knives - you've got a good writing style here. It could probably do with a little refinement, of course, but who doesn't?

I definitely want to see where this story is going. Here's hoping you can add more soon. ^_^
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Old 06-24-2006, 11:03 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Sorry for the late reply, sweetheart. Very nicely done. You know how much I love and respect your work. I'd be happy to give you some personal lessons in grammar using examples from your previous works, if you like.

Seriously, though, write faster. I really want to read the climax of the story. ^^
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Old 06-26-2006, 12:23 AM
Lady Knives Lady Knives is a female Lady Knives is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

For all of you who have been waiting for me to update, i've been a little busy lately. I am going to try and get writing again, but i've had a little episode of writer's block as of late. I'll try and overcome it for you guys. <3 Thanks for being so patient.
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Old 07-09-2006, 01:43 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Chapter Two


With each twenty feet down they traveled, the air got thicker. Not just more dense in general, but filled more with the scent of old blood. The stairway was lit on each side of the walls with torches holding flames that sat and danced on the crowns of the sticks like gypsies. Knives' senses seemed to extend more here. She was extremely aware of her surroundings. Not too far off, she could hear voices. It was the voice of the Elders, and the ever-so-recognizable voice of her Father.

After making their way down the stairway, they had found themselves in a large room. Beyond this room was the chamber, where the ceremony was to take place. Knives looked around her, then forward into the chamber. It was large, and for the most part poorly lit. As they approached the chamber's entrance, Eclipse could see the Elders all seated in the stands, and Raenis, standing before the Elders. Their speech immediately ceased once the Royal Advisor and his Lady entered the large hall. Raenis turned on his heel, and each of the Elders averted their gaze to Knives and Eclipse.

"Ahh. Knives, there you are." Raenis' gruff but sensuously smooth voice filled the air. Knives looked silently over to her Father, moving a bit slow at the moment. This place made her uncomfortable. It made her feel as if she was contained. "Hello, Father." Knives spoke in a soft tone, which almost held no emotion whatsoever. "Not too enthusiastic are we?" Her Father spoke once more. He didn't seem as grave as everyone else. He was in light-spirits. This was quite unusual for how her Father usually acted around her. It was almost as if he was proud or something.

The Elders looked as blank and as old as ever. There was nothing to suspect but her Father's behavior. Knives took no mind to it as she looked at Eclipse from the corner of her eye. 'Hmm...' she thought silently to herself. He seemed to be feeling as strange as she was. Of course, they did share a special bond of sorts. Maybe it was just all in her mind--then again, maybe it wasn't. "Knives. Knives." her father called, noticing the strange look in her eyes. She looked over at her Father calmly, as if nothing had happened. "Yes?" she asked.

He gave her a peculiar look, before retaining his former calm expression. "We'd like to get started soon." his tone was silent, soft, and as smooth as ever. "I'm ready when you are." said Knives. She put a bit of fake excitement in her voice to bring down the slight suspicion that her earlier actions roused.

One by one, the elders stood. They all looked over at Raenis. "At your command." The Eldest of them spoke up from the front left row column of the benches/stands. There was a certain look in Raenis' eye that no one caught but the specific Elder, which was the leader. His name was Blanc(Blawnk), he had been in this group of Elders since long before even Eclipse himself. Eclipse, of course, despised each and every one of them. They were sly, and quite cunning. Stuck up, stubborn. Just--Old. He had never liked them in the first place. They were a secret, "wise" society, and he didn't like secrets.

Raenis ushered Knives to the center of the chamber, where an assamite(Assamite: A Abyssal design carved deeply into a solid surface for ceremonial purposes. It is usually circular, and each symbol carved serves a special purpose, either related to magic, or marking a sacred place.) was. It was carved deeply into the obsidian marble of the floor, lined on the inside with Iron. Knives eyed this strange symbol for a moment, before feeling her father nudge her forward at the small of her back. She gaze over at her father, before she saw the Elders make their way over to the assamite in their own strange grouping. Each of them held the heavy, slow accent of Solaris, and spoke with almost a hiss at the end of each word. Knives moved forward at her Father's nudge, then watched as the Elders gathered in a circular formation around her.

Lined at the Assamite's curves, all around, they gazed inwardly at the young woman. She stood still, not minding their eyeful looks. Raenis stood beside Eclipse, who was leaning against the closest wall. "Anything wrong, Eclipse?" Raenis' voice sliced through the silence. The Royal Advisor was gazing intensely at Knives, not taking his eyes off of her. "Of course not, Sire." Eclipse replied in a monotone voice. "Is this not exciting?" the Ruler spoke in Knives' general direction, though the question was directed at Eclipse. "Quite, sire." the immortal replied blandly.

All of the Elders were looking at Knives, before their eyes suddenly closed in unison. A vicious silence gripped the chamber at this, and no one dare spoke a single word. They had given her no directions, no explanation whatsoever. She gazed from face to face, reading absolutely nothing from their expressions. For a moment, she felt the threat of panic arise within her, but pushed it quickly to the back of her mind. She took in a deep breath, calming herself slowly but surely. Raenis silently watched his daughter with ease, a calm smile gracing his pale lips. He raised his head up a bit as he looked at her, sizing her up. She was almost a flawless copy of him, but in certain ways, she reminded him of Natalia, Knives' mother. His former Mate.

Eclipse looked a bit strained. There was a look of worry in his eyes that he only let show because no one was bothering to look at him. An overwhelming feeling of dread came over him, before it seemed to fade away. Something definitely wasn't right here. His deep-ruby eyes slowly came to gaze upon Raenis, who seemed as calm as ever. 'What is he up to..?' he thought with a hint of venom. He had been around this scum long enough to know that he was a sly bastard.

Claustrophobia seemed to slowly take young Knives hostage, making it feel harder to breathe. She took in a soft gasp of breath, then held it in until her lungs felt as if they were about to burst. She then released the breath, waiting for something--anything to happen. 'This doesn't feel right. Something about this doesn--' her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden speaking in Abyssal tongue by Blanc. The others spoke in sentences after him. One by one, until all thirteen of them had spoken their piece.

She couldn't recognize the words they spoke. The language sounded similar to that of her Native, but it was more guttural, and more deeply spoken. It made a chill run down her spine, though she suppressed the feeling as best she could. A miniscule tremor racked her entire body for a moment, and she could feel a pressure rise across her body. 'This must be their power. Well it's not mu--' She was cut off from her thoughts once again, this time, the air was sucked out of her for about fifteen seconds. Her lungs had felt on fire for that short fifteen seconds, but she couldn't scream. Another soft gasp escaped her lips, and she panted for a moment before regaining her breath.

The Royal Advisor, who had seemed to calm, yet so tense about jumped his feet as soon as he saw Knives begin to struggle for breath. False alarm. Raenis' eyebrows furrowed, as if to say: "Get on with it already!" If anyone had seen that look, it would have given confirmation to any suspicion. Blanc opened his eyes, and gazed over at Raenis and Eclipse, who remained leaned against the closest wall.

"Malik bolivarus inholet unit, devistas polict."

(Maw-leak bow-li-var-us [var as in varsity] in-ho-leet oo-neet [oo as in soon] dev-iss-tawz po-leaked)

Translation: "Bestow upon us the unholy power."

After these words had been spoken, a ton of weight pressed on every inch of Knives' body. Her knees felt as if they would buckle, and her legs as if they would give out at any moment. "This...doesn't...feel ri--" she spoke as she turned slowly, but was cut off as chains busted from the ceiling above and the floor beneath her. The freezing metal had snaked up and around her arms, shoulders, legs, waist, and chest.

"Knives!!"

Eclipse sprang from the wall, only to be slammed back against it by no other than Raenis himself. The Eternal Ruler had his hand clenched on his Advisor's throat as he struggled, clawing at his Sire's hand. “You will not interfere!" Raenis snarled viciously at Eclipse, who continued to claw at his master's hand.

The icey cold chains which had bound Knives tightened, earning a harsh cough and a loud choke from the young demon. She struggled violently, making the chains rattle and grind. Her breathing was studdery and shallow. "E--E-c--c.." she stuttered. She couldn't finish. The chains were too tightly wound around her chest. Eclipse's eyes widened as he gazed listlessly at Knives, seeing her lips move, trying to call out to him. "Forgive me..." he whispered hoarsely under his breath, his claws still digging into Raenis' hand.

Each of the Elder's eyes opened simultaneously, the surface of their eyes illuminated with a luminous black coat. Their blank eyes seemed to be focused ahead of them, at Knives; but truly, they were now face to face with Oblivion.
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| Venemous Design | Chronicles of the Abyss |
Last Edited by Lady Knives; 07-30-2008 at 07:47 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 07-10-2006, 04:35 PM
Batrachius Batrachius is a male United States Batrachius is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

Very, very interesting. It holds my attention, it's suspenseful, and I can't wait to read the next part. Very few errors, but no one's perfect. Keep up the good work. X3 <3
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Old 07-10-2006, 10:28 PM
malon lover Colombia malon lover is offline
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Re: Chronicles of the Abyss: A Cast Shadow of Brutality

i am always captivated by your stories and i also find no mistakes at all in your writing. i can envision the whole story in my mind thanks to your great descriptions and imagery. I can't wait for your next big hit!
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