| - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

It's so....depressing? I suppose that's the word. I like your style.

As always, I love your description. You cover all the senses, and then some. I'm so envious of that ability of yours. It's like I'm there watching, but feeling at the same time. I know, I'm a strange one.

Great job on everything so far. I love your works, so keep 'em coming!

I enjoyed the style of this poem as well! Your description is so dark, yet mesmerizing. It's also marvellously vivid.

But who is the man supposed to be?

Haaaah. Don't try and pry that out of me.

EDIT: Just kidding. I am not so sure myself anyway so HAH.

P.S. Paul looks like he pissed his pants.

P.S.S. Paul is one of the guys who works with my dad and he is like a big brother to me. Lol. He bought me a Mochaaaaaa.

Slip in Sin


The weakness shows in your eyes.
Give me all you can handle,
I'll twist it and break the tie.

It's more than anything you'll ever need.
It makes me watch as you fall,
Makes me smile as you attain full speed.

I can feel your malice.
I sense you breed your hate.
The venom in which you dipped your fingertips.
It all has a distinctive taste.

I'll have your body, soul, and mind.
I'll amplify your greed,
Make you impossible to find.

I'll ravish your heart.
I won't stop your ribcage from collapsing in.
I'll just simply sit here and watch,
As you slowly slip in sin.

Like I said, it's dark as always and I love it as always. Seeing as I don't know all that much about poetry I don't really know how I'd critique it. So I'll just give you a nice "Good job! Keep 'em coming!"

I must say, though, I like this one a lot.

Dusk


I see the roots of Darkness within you, as the light begins to give up to the night.
I watch you in your churning fury, 'hear you screaming with all your might.

I feel the dark waves falling unto me, your embrace so rivetingly bitter.
I watch the sun fall beneath you, all the birds shyly atwitter.

-

Well, this is just a little dingy I came up with when I was watching the water at Dusk. I could see the sun shining bright on the water, and veins of dark snaking through the water. I've noticed that water does that often, though I haven't been able to fathom why.

The Game


One drop of blood is the equivalence of every instance. Brooding shadows take their place along the sidelines, dashing as they argue in silence; 'thick as molasses. The hour approaches as all the others move passed, claiming their stakes on countless lives a day. Watch as your pendulum unravels; falls to the floor and shatters into a thousand pieces. Feel it as death rushes forth to meet you at the finish line. Play the game. The only way out is in.

-

I was inspired to write this by a new book i'm reading. It's called House. It's written by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker.

Delightfully dark and twisted, as is just about everything you write. ^^ *Huggles* I enjoy the way you compared the subject at hand to a race, but I can't seem to figure out just what "the game" is.

"The only way out is in." That finishing line really sticks. I think I might spend a while interpreting this. Hmm...

Plague


Why must you plague me so?
Manifest yourself inside of me, entwine yourself with me?
Take me wholly, ever so gently?
Wrap me in the embrace of the cold?

Tasteless yet so lucious and rich,
I find comfort in your presence.

-


I was searching through old poetry and little dingys I had written, and I found this. It's sort of peculiar, and I am not quite sure what inspired it. I might have been in one of those dark phases, oh well. One will never know now.

Originally Posted by Lady Knives

Aquarious Felicity

Transparent Vibrance
Like silk slipping through my fingers
Reap me of my sins
Wash away the filth that lingers

Ensnare and entice my senses
Let me feel the cold of your touch
Let me bathe in your glory
The feeling that I long for so much

Take me into your satin embrace
Manifest yourself around me, bring the chill
I hear the softness of your voice
So smooth but so shrill

I really like this poem, the images it creates are quite vivid.

Take Your Pain Away


Death has treated you wrongly.
May I take your pain away?

Death has tread upon me
And has reaped me of your smiling face

Scarlet stains upon ashen wings,
And scarred porcelain flesh

What have I done?
Where have you gone?

Death has forced upon us
this forsaken love

How much poison will it take
To corrupt the heart and soul?

How much poison will it take
To destroy and consume me whole?

Venom forced to course through bruised veins
A beaten hope, an untrue fate

May I take your pain away?

Yes! yes you can take my pain away! lol Well, as you I told you before, you are an amazing writer, and I cant wait to see more.

Mother


Dear mother, why do you run?
Do you not enjoy the sensation of your own blood
running bitter cold from your veins?

Why is it that you scream, mother?
Is it the pain that truly makes you suffer?

Are you in denial that it is merely your fate,
that the fires of hell are now in your wake?

Don’t say a word, mother,
for words are not needed here.

What you have done can never be taken back;
you’re running low on time, mother, but don’t look back

Don’t look at me mother, don’t take another breath,
Don’t say my name, mother, it is nothing but another moment wasted.

Die in pain, dear mother; agony, anguish, and despair.

Suffer for the pain you’ve caused,
And cause me entropy no more.

Gaze no more upon me,
for your eyes have become unworthy.

Take not another breath before me, suffocate;
make this experience endearing.

Home


There’s something in the air, ancient Hymns of death and
Discrepancies in the truth of a thousand lies.

‘Till the day comes that the veil is removed
And the exhaustion caused by this hate is ripped away,
I will remain in the waiting, this endless abyss of maddening darkness.

Reminiscent dreams of my awakening plague me with overwhelming sensations,
that leave the cool whisperings of long-lost kisses upon my lips.

Restlessness caused by the remembrance
Of viciousness and the venom of my own kin
Betrayal from a blackened heart, and exile of the soul remain.

Immortality drenched in misery,
A lust beyond sating,
Douse me in blood and exude the reverie.

When the pain has become too much, and my memory has discolored and gone away,
the time will once again come, for another life to end.

Home. I’m coming home, dear Father.

Oh, I love these!

I really liked Dusk. My Poison was my favorite. Especially these lines:

Originally Posted by Lady Knives

I cannot see you now,
The darkness is too strong.
I cannot feel you now,
This cold darkness has been here for too long.

Ee! I love it!

Grr. Since, for some strange reason, my post was deleted here, I'll post AGAIN.

Your poems have a dark decor to them. I love how you've written them. Well done, honey. <3

H o s p i t a l e v o L


Eyes like diamonds,
And eyes like coal.

Hold onto me, protection from the cold.

It’s a test of endurance,
An epidural to the heart.
There’s a blood-soaked melody,
Playing lonely and slow in the dark.

Cold and sharp, surgical steel,
Another broken heart,
Fainting at the steering wheel.

Take me in,
Let the stitches weave from my fingers.
Let the morphine drip,
Manifest and take away the sting.


- - - - -


This one's for you.

^Awww... For me? You shouldn't have.

It's dark, as always. It makes me feel sad and scared, whilst realising how good it is at the same time.

Thats better than the others.

NOT FOR YEWWW. :3

Its for my one and only. :33

My wewfa oofa. :33

Originally Posted by Lady Knives

NOT FOR YEWWW. :3

Its for my one and only. :33

My wewfa oofa. :33

she means me.

cool poetry, two thumbs up izzle

i only read plague and hospitol evol. but yeah. 1337