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Old 03-16-2006, 08:17 PM
Andeh Andeh is offline
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Sweet Temptations

Okay, here's a story I've been working on. Drewey told me I should post it, it goes!

Criticism and praise are both welcomed. ^^


Death. It mostly strikes us by surprise, coming when we least expect it to, while other times we know it’s around the corner. To some it may be the result of an incurable disease, to others it takes them by complete surprise-a freak accident, maybe?-others choose to bring their own lives to an end. The subject may scare and put us at peace at the same time. To a suffering individual it may be the best answer to their pain.

After pondering on the subject, you might find yourself thinking; what if there was such a thing as life after death? In some religions your soul would drift off to Heaven or Hell, depending on how you had lived your previous life, but are you really alive? Some of us would like to think so, yes. Some even have a shot at the idea as coming back as an animal, a different person, or perhaps we could come back as the reincarnation of another. But…what if after you died, you were to be tormented for the rest of eternity? Tormented, you ask? Yes, that would be the right response, for lack of better word. Going day after day, walking around aimlessly without a wink of sleep, after all, you wouldn’t necessarily need, would you? Having to depend on human blood for your strength…

Superstitious, you might call me. Goth? Freak? Most oblivious humans would label me as one or the other. After all, there’s no such things as vampires, is there? No, just a myth, formed ages and ages ago, to keep us awake and frightened around a camp fire, or maybe it came from the creative mind of a child trying to scare their younger sibling.

I, too, was one of these ‘oblivious’ humans not too long ago. When the word ‘vampire’ happened to cross my path, I mostly thought of the movie ‘Dracula’. Nothing but sci-fi. Well…would you believe that the very existence of Elliot Duncan was enough to change my mind?

Now you may think I’m crazy, a bit obsessive, perhaps? How could the mere existence of one person influence me so intensely?
Everything about Elliot Duncan was enough. His mesmerizing eyes, his dark hair, cold, pale skin, his godlike features…
But it hadn’t always been like that. After all, there is the possibility of a human featuring those qualities. Don’t most young girls have celebrity crushes that they believe is God himself? Well…I guess you could call Elliot my ‘celebrity crush’. Whether it was his phenomenal existence alone that drew me to him, or whether it was the fact that he intrigued me so immensely didn’t matter much to me. Of course, some aspects of him both interested and frightened me. For one, being able to walk around during the day was one thing that interested me. Weren’t vampires supposed to perish the minute sunlight touched their skin? Another thing was how he’d managed to charm me in the span of 5 days, when I had hardly ever been attracted to anyone so forcefully or quickly, for that matter.
Now, on the other hand, there were also a few things that terrified me. One, by nature he was drawn to blood. He had said that although any human blood was satisfactory, mine was more than just alluring. He confessed to have had thoughts about sucking me dry. But, thanks to the self-control he had mastered long before I was ever born, it never happened. Another thing was how unbelievably strong he was. If he wanted to, I’m sure he could rip a tree right off the ground and use it as a baseball bat.

But, those things weren’t the one that bothered me the most, no. I could cope with them. The one thing that troubled me was that I wanted him to change me to a creature of the night. I wanted him to oh, so badly.

Chapter 1

My ideal vacation. Going to the beach, staying up late around a campfire, telling ridiculous ghost stories, soaking up the sun…


My mum’s voice grasped me back to reality. “What?”

“Are your bags packed, sweetie?”

I sighed. This was the one hundredth time she’d asked in the past hour. “Yes, mum.” I grabbed my three bags off of the wooden floor and placed them on the couch. I had packed most of my wardrobe for this summer.
Sadly, I wasn’t going to the sun-kissed beach I dreamed of, no. After all, I said it’d be my ideal vacation, did I not?

Instead, I was going to spend three very long months in New Jersey with my Dad. Not exactly how I had planned to spend my summer vacation. “Would you please tell me why you’re making me go, again?”

My mum’s hazel eyes hardened. “Honey, it’s been almost a year since you’ve seen your Dad. He misses you, you know.”

I grunted. “Right, he misses me so much that he hasn’t even thought about calling.”

“That’s enough, Adelene.”

I forced myself to not say another word. When mum used my real name, it usually meant that the discussion was over.
In less than 2 hours I was going to leave my home in California and travel across the country.

The plane ride was unbearable. We had to make various stops at locations I hadn’t bothered to check. I just knew to get off the plane, find the next one, and mount it. I slept, ate, or listened to my iPod. I was on the last plane, the one that would take me to the New Jersey airport. Where my Dad would be waiting.

“Excuse me, dear?” The old lady sitting next to me tapped my shoulder lightly.

I reluctantly pushed ‘pause’ on my iPod and turned my head towards her. “Hmmm?”

“What is that electronic device you have there?”

Was this lady for real? “It’s called an iPod. You can download music onto it and it saves you the hassle of carrying a CD player around.”

She smiled. “Technology sure isn’t what it used to be back in my day anymore.”

I gave her an awkward smile back and went back to ‘Hawthorne Heights’, when there was another tap on my shoulder. Once again pushing ‘pause’, I turned to the lady once again. “Hmmm?”

“Are you spending the summer in good old New Jersey, dear?”

“Yeah, I’m visiting my father.”

“Oh, well, that must be nice.”

“Not really,” I answered.

“You’re a very beautiful young lady, might want to watch yourself around them boys, you hear?”

How old did she think I was? Twelve? “Oh, well, you won’t have to worry about that, ma’am, I’m not really interested in boys.”

She grinned. “You have very pretty blonde hair, is it natural?”

I was beginning to wonder if she had A.D.D. “Yes, it’s natural. I get it from my mother.”

“What about your green eyes?”



I saw she was trying to see what I had gotten from my Dad. Truth was I didn’t really have much from my Dad, except my height. I stood to be about 5’8”, a good 8 inches taller than my mum. It was quite funny, really. Mum was 5’0”, and Dad was 6’4”. Quite an odd couple they once made.

The old lady began to talk again. This time, she got started on her childhood. I knew that that could mean that she possibly wouldn’t stop talking until the end of the flight, so I pretended like I was listening and really went back to my music. About an agonizingly slow hour, the seatbelt sign began to flash. We were almost there.

In the next ten to fifteen minutes we landed.

“Nice meeting you, dear. Hope you have fun in Jersey,” said the old lady, standing up and walking into the isle.

“Likewise,” I said back.


I turned at the sound of my father’s voice. He was flailing his arms back and forth, attempting to grab my attention. Hauling my bags along with me, I walked towards him, where he embraced me in a hug. “Honey! You made it!” He said, pulling back.

“What? Did you think I’d get lost?” I sneered.

He smiled and hugged me again. “You’re getting to look like your mother each and every day,” he said.

We both smiled and then in unison said: “Except in the height department!” We laughed and he took my two heaviest bags.

“Talk to anyone in the plane?” He asked as we walked through the sea of human beings.

“There was this old lady that rambled on about her childhood. Thank God for this,” I said, fishing my iPod out of my
pocket and putting it in front of me.

Dad laughed. “I don’t blame you; I would’ve done the same.”

We finally reached Dad’s black SUV. He must’ve washed it recently, or he never took it anywhere. It was extremely glossy, I could see my reflection. Dad put my bags in the trunk, and then walked around to the driver’s side. I opened the passenger door, and stepped inside. The seats were made of leather, very soft and a peach color.

He put the key in the ignition, and the engine hummed to life. It was quite quiet, you could barely hear it.

“I see you’ve let your hair grow,” Dad said, striking up a conversation.

“Yeah, mum said she likes it better when it’s long.”

I usually kept my hair shoulder-length, at the most. Now it was close to my mid-back. It was layered down, of course. Otherwise it’d be too plain for my liking. I also had bangs that went past about an inch after my eye, and they were flipped to the right side of my face. My hair was naturally straight, but I had added a few curls.

“I’ve got a surprise for you when we get home, sweetie,” Dad smiled.

I raised an eyebrow. “What kind of a surprise?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

The 45-minute ride didn’t seem to last too long. Dad asked me about school, boys, and sports. The usual. Before I knew it, we were pulling up the driveway to his classy two-story house. It was made of only wood, which was one thing I had always liked. There were trees everywhere, and the grass was the greenest I’d ever seen. It was a pretty sunny day, making the house look like the kind you hear about in fairy tales. Dad lived out in the middle of a forest, with a couple houses nearby. Not many, though. It was kind of nice. Everyone knew everyone.

He once again helped me with my bags and we stepped inside. I heard a T.V. on in the living room. Dad must’ve forgotten to turn it off before he went to pick me up.

“Sugar, is that you?”

I froze at the sound of the voice. A female’s voice.

“Yes, cupcake, Addie’s here.”


“Oh! I’ll be right over!” ‘Cupcake’ said, in an overly enthusiastic voice.

Out of the living room came a woman. She was a little shorter than me, with pretty red hair and bright blue eyes. The one thing I noticed that immediately bothered me was how giddy she was. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with frivolous people, but there’s something wrong with people who do it on purpose. This woman’s masquerade was disastrous.

“Oh! It’s so nice to finally meet you, Addie!” Cupcake embraced me in a hug. I knew the look on my face must’ve been of complete horror, but if Dad noticed, he didn’t let on. To make him happy, I forced myself to hug her back.

“You’re so beautiful!” Cupcake pulled back, but kept her hands clamped down on my arm. “I’m Jenny.”

Jenny. Wow. Now I knew this was going to be a long summer.

“Nice to meet you, Jenny,” I said, pulling off the best smile I could manage. I held out my hand for her to shake it, but she just took me in, yet, another hug.

“I can’t wait until you meet the kids!” Jenny exclaimed.

Kids?” I looked at Jenny and then at Dad. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse.

“Oh, no. Your Dad and I don’t have kids together. At least not yet, anyways,” she threw Dad a look I didn’t understand. “Don’t worry, though. You’ll get along with Therese, Gwennie, Jessica, Liam and Mark.”

My jaw dropped. I hadn’t meant for it to do so, but it did. I knew what this meant. I was sharing a room with one of them.

“Let’s see…Therese is 8, she’ll just love you! Gwennie and Jessica are twins; they’re 15, Mark’s 16 and Liam’s 18.”

And I’m 17. This was going to be wondrous fun.

“Don’t worry; you won’t have to share a room with anyone.”

“Really,” I said sarcastically.

“No, the three girls are sharing a room, and the two boys are sharing a room.”

At least one thing was going right. “So…when do I get to meet them?” Not that I was exactly thrilled about the idea, but I just wanted to get it over with.

“They’ll be back any minute. I told them I didn’t want them home later than 4:00 p.m.”

It was 3:50 p.m. My doom was soon to come.

As if on cue, the door flew open and in came everyone. They all glanced at me quickly, and then went to Jenny’s side. They were all actually good-looking. They all seemed fit and healthy.

“Guys, this is Addie,” Jenny said, looking at me.

“Hello,” I said, in the friendliest and fakest voice I could manage.

The smallest girl, Therese, I was guessing, stepped forward and hugged me around the waist. She was actually quite cute. She had short, curly dirty blonde hair, her mum’s blue eyes, and freckles dotted around her pudgy face.

“Hey, there,” I said, putting my hand on her head.

Therese pulled away, smiled, and then went back to Jenny’s side.

The twins, Gwen and Jessica, also had blue eyes, but their hair was a dark auburn color. They were identical; the only thing I could tell would give me a clue as to which one was which, was that one had short hair, while the other had long. The one with shorter hair stepped up and held out her hand. “I’m Gwen, nice to meet ‘cha.”

I shook her hand, and glanced at Jessica. Her hands were at her hips, she was chewing gum, and giving me a not so approving look.

“Jess?” Jenny urged her on.

“Yeah, whatever, I’m Jessica,” she said, rolling her eyes.

I was praying she wouldn’t give me trouble.

“Hey, I’m Mark,” the guy with brown hair stepped in front of Gwen and shook my hand. He had messy, straight brown hair and pretty hazel eyes. He was about 2 inches shorter than me. Like Therese, he had a few freckles adorning his skin.

“Addie, nice to meet you,” I said, shaking his hand.

I glanced up at Liam. He was leaning against the wall, looking at me skeptically. He had the same type of hair as Mark, only his was blonde and perfectly in place. He had deep gray eyes, and he was about 6’2”.
When Jenny shot him a warning look, he walked over to where everyone else was. “Liam,” he simply said. No handshake, no nothing. This was actually okay with me. I didn’t plan on really ‘bonding’ with them, to begin with.

After dinner I went upstairs to put my clothes away. I had shut the door, hoping that Jenny’s kids would know that it meant I wanted privacy. From the last thing I knew, the girls had stayed downstairs watching T.V., and the boys had gone to their room.

“I don’t see why you get to have your own room.”

I spun around to find Liam standing in the doorway. I hadn’t even heard him open the door.

“I’m the oldest, I should be the one with a room to myself,” he said, letting himself inside without ever asking if it was okay.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” I inquired. “I could’ve been changing, for all you know.”

“That would’ve been okay with me,” he said, shrugging.

I shot him a disgusted look.

“Hey, our parents aren’t married-”

“Yet,” I cut him off short. “Either way, it’s still sickening that you’d think of me that way.”

“I never said I thought of you naked, I said it’d be okay with me if I were to accidentally walk in on you.”

“Okay! Look, can we talk about something else or not at all?”

He edged closer and sat at the foot of my queen-sized bed. “Nice bed,” he said, testing it.

“Yeah, well, don’t get too comfortable. You’re getting out soon.”

“You even have your own bathroom,” he said, completely ignoring what I just told him. “Special treatment?”

“You can have this room when I leave. It’s not like I’m going to come back.”

“Really,” he stated his tone of voice cynical.

“Yes, really. After this year, I’m moving out.”

He grunted, but I said nothing.

“There you are, Liam!”

I turned around as Mark walked into my room. Without asking. This was going to be really frustrating.

He strolled over to the bed and sat down as well. “So, Addie…how do you like Depford?” Mark asked. Depford was the town that we were staying in.

“I don’t,” I replied, a little bitter.

Liam grumbled. “Of course you don’t, you Californians think you’re too good.”

I shot him a glare. “Not true,” I spat.

“Then what don’t you like about New Jersey?” He was obviously trying to start up an argument.


“My point exactly.”

“Just shut up, okay? It wouldn’t matter if I were from Ohio, Arizona, or Rhode Island. I still wouldn’t like New Jersey,” I fired back.

“Whatever you say, princess,” he said, rather mockingly.


“You strike me as a spoiled rich *****.”

I gawked at him. Had he really said that? The nerves of that guy! I hadn’t even been here 24 hours and he was already making me hate him! “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he said, staring at me.

“Uh, Liam? Try being nice, will you?” Mark asked. “For mom’s sake?”

“Fine,” Liam said, rolling his eyes. “I’m oh, so sorry for calling you such a name. I hope you accept my deepest apology.”

Now he was really getting on my nerves. He couldn’t even be serious about apologizing! “Can you just get out? I need to rest.”

“Sure,” Mark said, standing up. Liam got up after him and followed quietly. Before he was completely out of my room, Liam looked back at me. “Just to be nice, I’ll warn you to stay away from the woods at night.”

“What? Why?”

Too late. He had already walked out and shut the door.
Last Edited by Andeh; 03-16-2006 at 09:19 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 03-16-2006, 08:26 PM
Gracie Gracie is offline
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Re: Sweet Temptations

You kinda forgot the last period. And it might help if you entered after every line...

Other than that... its... 0.0! It's wonderful! You have such a great style, and it flows so nicely. Continue. I demand. *bares fangs*
[These Guys Will Show You Inescapable Doom]

"Maybe it's the sum of a million coincidences we don't quite control that brings us to a particular place
at a particular time, or maybe it's the choices we make, the actions we take. If there's one thing I've learned in 85 years, it's
that what we want doesn't always matter. But then again, sometimes it's all that does." - Mick St. John

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Old 03-16-2006, 08:27 PM
Andeh Andeh is offline
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Re: Sweet Temptations

^^' Sorry. *Goes to edit*
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Old 12-01-2006, 07:56 PM
Andeh Andeh is offline
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Re: Sweet Temptations

Wow...this thread's old...but...due to request, I must continue with it. :]

~Chapter 2~

I highly doubt Liam was trying to be nice when he told me what he did. I kept pondering what could possibly in those woods to make him say such a thing. Perhaps he was just trying to frighten me. Yeah…that was it. He was just trying to scare me, and was probably laughing at how gullible I can be.

“Stupid Liam,” I mumbled as I as I put away the last of my clothes. It was only 8:48 p.m. I had no idea what I was going to do. I wasn’t really going to go to bed yet, it was just an excuse to get them out of my room. Mark not as much as Liam, but I couldn’t really just tell Liam to leave and not Mark. Liam being the way that he is, he might’ve thought I would’ve tried to do something. There was a light tapping at my door, and I knew it wasn’t either one of the boys, since they hadn’t bothered to knock the first time.

“Come in,” I said, sitting down on my bed. The door slowly opened about two inches, and I could see Therese’s big eyes looking in. I smiled. “You can come in, if you like.”

Therese’s small lips curved into a smile, and she opened the door the rest of the way and stepped inside. She stopped halfway, unsure of where to go.

I scooted over. “You can sit with me,” I said, patting the space next to me.

She quickly walked over and sat on the bed. “You’re really pretty,” she said, big eyes looking at me.

“Thank-you, you’re really cute,” I said, gently pinching her cheek.

She giggled and moved her head away. “Mommy always does that. So does Grandmom. Only Grandmom does it really hard.” She said, rubbing her cheek.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Most Grandmas don’t know how much it really hurts, I guess.” I shrugged.

She smiled brightly at me.

“So, what grade are you in?” I asked.

“Third,” she said, grinning widely.

“Third? Boy! You’re a big girl, aren’t you?” I said. Therese was really easy to like.

“Yeah, look! I can tie my shoes all by myself!” She hopped off the bed, untied her left shoe and tied it back.

I clapped. “That’s awesome! I didn’t learn to tie my shoes until I was 10,” I admitted.

“Really?” She asked, leaping back on the bed.

“Cross my heart,” I said, making a line over where my heart would be.

She giggled again, only louder this time. “Can you drive?”

“Of course. I just don’t have a car here.”

“Oh, well, umm…” she averted her gaze from me and began to look around. “Well, uh, never mind.”

“What?” I asked, baffled.

“Nothing, nothing, I have to go to bed now.” She jumped off again, gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, and ran out of my room. I had a feeling she really didn’t’ need to go, but just shrugged it off.

I decided to get in the shower. It was a little after 10, so I figured a nice, warm bath would be just what I needed before I went to bed. I walked into the spacious bathroom. The tile floor was white, the walls a crème color, and the ceiling was white and had a spiky-type of texture to it. To my right was a silver, metal bar about 4 feet long. On it hung two pink towels and wash rags. To my right, were the sink, the toilet, and a well-sized mirror over the sink. Straight ahead was the bath/shower. I pulled back the flower decorated curtain, and turned the hot water knob. Adjusting the water to a temperature of my liking, I plugged the drain and let it began to fill. I then undressed, neatly put my clothes on top of the toilet seat, and stepped into the bath. Perfect. Standing on the side of the tub was a small bubble bath container. I opened it and out came a smooth, gooey purple substance. I mixed it around with the water, and the scent of lavender soon invaded me. I let myself sink into the luxury of my bath, and closed my eyes. I enjoyed myself for about half an hour, shampooed my hair, washed myself, and got out. I decided to brush my teeth then. No use in coming back in here. I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped back into my room. It looked like it did when I left it. Good.

Humming, I strolled over to the wooden dresser close to the door, and pulled out a silky pair of purple shorts and a matching tank. I got out a pair of underwear, slipped them on, and then put on my pajamas. I brushed my hair out and then walked over to my bed.

I pulled the fluffy white comforter down, and screamed.

I ran out of my room and flew downstairs. “Dad!” I yelled.

“What is it? What’s going on?” Dad appeared out of the kitchen.

I stopped in front of him, panting. “There’s…a mouse…on my bed!”

“What?” He went upstairs with me close to his heels.

Upon entering my room, he walked over to my bed and smiled. “Honey, that’s just

Chester. He’s Mark’s pet.”

“I don’t care whose it is, just get it out!” I shrieked.

He picked up the rodent and took it back to Mark.

I waited until he had gone back downstairs and went in the boys’ room. “Alright, who did it?”

Mark was smiling, but Liam was laughing. Laughing so hard he was near tears. Guess that answered my question.

“That was not funny, Liam!” I shouted.

“Yes…it…was!” He was laughing so hard he could barely get the sentence out. “You….should’ve heard yourself!”

“Ha, ha, ha. Just leave me alone, will you?” I stormed back to my room.

I was half-expecting to wake up in the morning and find myself staring into the beady eyes of Chester. Fortunately, I was wrong. The sun was shinning brightly through the two windows of my room, waking me up a little after 9 a.m.

I got out of bed, walked over to my door, opened it and listened. It was quiet. Too quiet for a house with 5 kids, not counting myself.

“Hello?” I asked my voice tiny as I stepped out of my room. No answer. Maybe they went out. I hope they did. I walked further out onto the hallway, and glanced out the huge window that hung above the front door. Dad’s SUV wasn’t on the driveway, confirming my suspicions. They had gone out without bothering to tell me. Go figure.

Not that it upset me that much. I was actually glad I was going to have some peace and quiet for awhile. Maybe Dad had left me a note on the kitchen counter. Going down the stairs, taking them two at a time, I turned left to go to the kitchen, and nearly had a heart attack as someone grabbed me from behind. I jumped and let out a startled scream.

“You’re really easy to scare, aren’t you?” Liam asked, letting me go.

I spun around, furious. “Liam! What did I tell you last night?”

“You seriously thought I’d listen to you?” He snickered.

I took a deep breath, to control myself from slapping him. “Whatever. Where are the others?”

“Grocery shopping. Just left about 10 minutes ago. Won’t be back for a good two hours.”

“Why didn’t you go?” I asked.

“Thought you might need someone to protect you from big bad Chester,” he teased.

“Oh, shut up,” I said, lightly smacking his arm. I turned around and entered the kitchen. Strolling over to where the huge white fridge was, I grabbed the cold handle and pulled it open. Grabbing the orange juice, I opened the dishwasher, took out a cup, and poured myself a glass of OJ.

“Get me some, will you?” Liam asked, walking through the kitchen and entering the living room. I heard the T.V. turn on.

“Excuse me, but I’m not your maid,” I said, pouring him a glass either way. I don’t really know why. After all, why should I be nice to him when he had done nothing but make my stay miserable so far? Oh well, karma would get to him sooner or later.

After chugging down my cup of juice, I decided to see if anything had changed in the house. I walked into the living room, and it was pretty much as I remembered it. The big-screen T.V. rested at the far right corner, the black leather couch placed about 10 feet parallel to it. The small coffee table was only centimeters in front of the couch.

Behind the couch, was the giant bookshelf my dad had had since I could remember. It was practically an antique. He had various books filling it. Everything from The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Picking Up Women to Stephen King. On top of the bookshelf were a few pictures of Jenny and her kids. I noticed he had also changed the carpet. Last time I had been here it had been a light blue color, whereas now it was peach. It actually complimented the wooden walls quite nicely. Overhead on the ceiling hung a ceiling fan. Other than a couple of arm chairs, it was quite roomy.

As I finished exploring the house I found that there hadn’t been extreme changes. You’d find pictures here and there, of Jenny and the kids, of course, but other than that it was still the house I grew up in.

“To your left, we have the girls’ room,” Liam said, imitating a tourist.

“Shut up, I knew that.”

He smiled, but I ignored him. It was getting to be a daily habit. “Hey,” I said, grabbing his arm.


“Why did you tell me to stay away from the woods?” I was determined to find out. One way or another.

That smile of his only became bigger. I noticed that there was a sudden spark in his eyes. “Oh, nothing,” he said, licking his lips.

“Tell me, please?” I figured asking him nicely was worth a shot.


So much for being nice. I’d had enough. He was going to tell me willingly or unwillingly. I took a deep breath, preparing myself to tackle him. I figured he’d just fall backwards at the most, hitting the floor. With luck I’d be able to pin him down and torture him until I got some sort of reasonable explanation from him.

The plan was perfect. Nothing could go wrong.

Well…it did. He must’ve been able to see that I was up to something, because he was expecting me to pounce. When I threw myself at him, he moved back, stuck his foot out, and tripped me. Since that hadn’t even crossed my mind, it took me by complete surprise. I actually flew a foot or two, and then tripped again when I hit the ground, making myself launch towards the wall…and hit it. My reaction time is slower than your average human’s. I hadn’t been quick enough to bring my arms up so I could, at the most, bounce off the wall. No, instead my face made full impact with the wall.

Pain shot through my face. My nose especially. My eyes watered up, and I slid to the floor, clutching my face.

“Are you okay?” Liam was immediately at my side, concern in his tone.

I was rocking back and forth, hoping to get my mind off the pain. “No.”

“Here, let me see,” he said, gently tugging my hands away from my face.

My eyes widened in horror as I saw they were covered in blood. I panicked, and began to scream. “You bwoke my nose!” I accused, my voice sounding like I was pinching my nose shut.

“We’ll worry about that later, we’ve got to get that blood cleaned up.” Liam rushed into the bathroom.

I held my hands under my nose, watching the blood drip. It was beginning to form a small pool.

Then, the doorbell rang. I heard Liam curse under his breath as he rushed out of the bathroom, threw me the towels, and went to the door. I heard another male’s voice. It was very soft, but it was a bit loud.

“Get rid of it, now,” the voice demanded.

“I’m in the process, just calm down,” Liam said back.

Now,” repeated the voice.

“Alright! Alright! Give me a second.” Liam shut the door and was back upstairs in a flash. “Go to the bathroom and wash your face. Keep the towel pressed against your nose in case it keeps bleeding.”

I stared at him.

“Go!” He yelled, half dragging me up from the floor by my arm. He shoved me in the bathroom, and immediately shut the door. I looked at myself in the mirror. Okay, so my nose wasn’t broken, thank God. The pain had numbed, but I could still feel it. The bleeding…well, it was as if it were a shower. I turned the knob on the sink, and began to wash the blood away. After I had gotten it all off my face, I grabbed the towel and pressed it against my nose.

“Bokay! I’m all clean now!” I shouted, my hand at the doorknob.

“Are you still bleeding?” Liam asked.

I pulled the towel away from my face, and saw the small red circle of blood. “No, not really.”

“Okay…have you stopped completely?”

I waited a few seconds, but felt no trickling sensation going down my nose. “Yeah.”

He sighed, and opened the door. “Give me that,” he said, pointing at the towel. Without argument, I handed it to him and he went and without delay put it in the washing machine. He came back upstairs.

“Who was at the door? And what did he want you to get rid of?” I asked after we had both gone in his room.

“Just a neighbor.”

“Okay, who? And what did he want?” I pressed on.

“A friend.”

I sighed. He was completely avoiding the second question, so I decided to stick with the first. “What’s your friend’s name?”

He gave me a quick glance. “Elliot.”

“Cool,” I said. “How old is he?”


“So…in which house does he live in?”

“What? Are you trying to stalk him or something?”

The sudden accusation took me aback. “No, I just think I deserve to know about our neighbors,” I said heatedly.

“Well, you don’t,” he spat back.

“Whatever,” I said, getting up off the floor and entering my own room.

I never told Dad about the incident. I figured that I’d keep it to myself for the time being. If I ever really needed to get Liam in trouble then I would say something, but for now, he was the least of my worries. Although rude, Liam had sparked my curiosity on Elliot. I wanted to know why he had been so demanding, and what about.

“Dad! I’m going out to explore, is that okay?” I called down the stairs, pulling my hair up in a ponytail. The day had gone from sunny to cloudy. I was wearing a light pink shirt and blue jean shorts with white tennis shoes.

“Sure, hun!” He called back.

I walked downstairs and went out the door. I hoped Liam hadn’t heard me. From what I was aware of he was in his room listening to music and chatting with people.

It felt great outside. The wind was blowing slightly, the sun wasn’t pounding down on us, and the air was filled with the scent of pine trees. I took a deep breath, and began my adventure. I walked to the house to our right. It was a two-story house made of stone. From the front you could see three windows on the top level, and three on the bottom. I was wondering if Elliot lived there.

“You must be Addie.”

I spun around at the familiar voice. It was the one from earlier. Elliot.

“Uh, yeah, I’m Addie.”

He was very attractive, I have to admit. He had dark hair, almost black, and it hung loosely around him. The front of it reached his beautiful, clear blue eyes, and on the back it reached where his neck began. He was a good 4 inches taller than I. His skin was smooth, perfect, but unusually pale.

“Liam told me about your incident earlier,” he coughed. There was something about his voice that seemed to hold me. It was smooth, soft, almost as if it were impossible for a human being to hold such a voice. Such features, for that matter. He was so perfect.

“Oh, yeah, he’s a jerk,” I laughed.

He merely nodded, keeping his stunning eyes on me. He bit his bottom lip, and I was wondering if he’d decided to not say something. “Adelene,” he softly said.

It took me a minute to realize that he had said my real name, when I had never even mentioned it. “Excuse me?”

“Liam told me that was your real name.”

How did Liam know? I figured Dad must’ve told him. Traitor. “Oh, yeah, I guess it is.”

“Tell me something,” he said.


“Why do you ask people to call you ‘Addie’? You have a very beautiful name; I don’t see why you would try to hide it.”

I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say. No one, especially not a stranger had ever said such a thing to me. “Uh, well, it’s kind of…unusual back in California.”

“And unusual is bad?”

Again I found myself at a loss of words. “Uh, I don’t know.”

He laughed a deep, rich laugh. It was…unbelievable. I was beginning to think that there was nothing this guy would do that wouldn’t make me feel like fainting.

And that’s when I remembered. “Hey, did you drop by the house earlier?”

I thought I saw his eyes narrow for what must’ve been a second. Had it really happened? Or was my imagination playing tricks on me?


“Oh, well….what did you asking Liam to get rid of?”

I thought I saw his eyes narrow again, but then he was smiling. “Well, you see,” he said as he began to pace back and forth, but managing to not take his eyes off of me, “we sort of stole his school record.”

“His school record?” I inquired, raising my eyebrows.



That handsome smile of his only became bigger. “Let’s just say that it isn’t the greatest record, he didn’t want them to have it, we stole it, but it turns out that the school board members are suspicious about him.”

I still didn’t understand why they would steal a school record, but at least I had gotten the explanation I was seeking.

“So, how was your little exploring adventure today, hun?” Dad asked while we were eating dinner around the rectangular table. I was sitting next to Jenny, Dad was next, then Gwen, Jessica, Mark, Liam, and Therese was on the other side of me. All eyes were suddenly upon my figure.

I finished chewing a bite of spaghetti and swallowed it. “It was nice.”

“Did you happen to run across any of our lovely neighbors? Someone’s usually outside,” said Jenny.

“Yes, actually. I believe his name was Elliot,” I smiled. Incredible. The simple thought of him made me feel all volatile inside.

Liam threw a strange look my way, but then went back to his dinner.

“Ah, yes, the Duncan’s boy. He sure is a handsome one,” Jenny giggled.

“Yeah, he is.”

I blushed when I took note of everyone’s looks. Gwen and Therese were smiling, Jessica looked like she was about to barf, Mark’s look was unreadable, and Liam’s was of utter shock. I think Jenny and my Dad were the only two that kept on eating. I hadn’t even realized until then that I had agreed with Jenny’s statement.

“Oh, how cute!” Jenny exclaimed, clapping her small hands together. “Addie’s got a boyfriend!”

The second those words escaped her lips I started choking. Boyfriend? Was she mad? A guy with Elliot’s status would surely never look at a girl like me!

Jessica began to laugh. “Look, she’s choking!”

Jenny glared at her, and she stopped, still chuckling a bit.

“He’s…not exactly my boyfriend,” I said, recovering from my choke attack.

“Aw, well, give it time, sweetie. I can definitely see you two together,” Jenny said, patting my back.

I could feel the blood rush to my face. Oh, great. Please don’t let them notice that I was blushing! No luck.

“And now she’s blushing! Sweetheart, I think your little girl has a crush!” Jenny said, turning to my Dad and smiling the biggest smile I’d ever seen.

I sunk down on my seat. This was surely the worst dinner conversation I’d ever had.

I finished eating quickly. “Uh, may I be excused?” I asked.

“Sure, hun.”

Obviously my Dad could tell the great discomfort that I was in at the moment.

“Thanks.” I stood up, grabbed my plate, put it in the sink, and escaped upstairs to my room.

“So you talked with Elliot today…” Liam was suddenly next to me. I glanced at the doorway and noticed the door was open.

It was obviously pointless to try and get Liam to knock before he entered, so I ignored that little fact. “Yeah, he was really nice.”

Liam grinned, only confirming my qualms. “I walked by my window and saw you two talking. At first I wasn’t completely sure if it was him or not, he had his back turned towards the house, but then you said you did talk to him at dinner.” He grew serious. “I don’t want you hanging around him,” he said, looking the other way.

“What? Why?” I demanded, feeling a twinge of anxiety at the thought of not seeing Elliot again.

“He’s bad news, Addie. Seriously.”

I grunted. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Just listen to me, okay?” He shouted.

I cringed. Why did he want me to stay away from Elliot so badly? Surely he couldn’t be as bad as he said he was. “Liam….”

“Good-night,” he said, walking out of my room without giving me as much as another glance.
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Old 12-17-2006, 11:58 PM
Gracie Gracie is offline
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Re: Sweet Temptations

Freaking LOVE-LY.

More. <3
[These Guys Will Show You Inescapable Doom]

"Maybe it's the sum of a million coincidences we don't quite control that brings us to a particular place
at a particular time, or maybe it's the choices we make, the actions we take. If there's one thing I've learned in 85 years, it's
that what we want doesn't always matter. But then again, sometimes it's all that does." - Mick St. John

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Old 12-18-2006, 01:56 PM
Sai United_States Sai is offline
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Re: Sweet Temptations

It's nice.
The only thing I didn't like was the dialoge was a little lacking in places.
I still had fun reading it, espicailly the intro.

We are shadows, without substance we can not exist.
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sweet, temptations

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