Yet another amazing poem from you, Sporky. This is really very sweet. I like the fourth verse a lot, though I would maybe change 'Sends' to 'Send'. I really enjoyed reading it, and can't wait to see more from you.
Do you know? is a beautiful poem, with fine use of sky-themed metaphors. The choice of soft verbs like "brush" and "blush" further accentuates the imagery of clouds, adding a greater depth to the words that are bold and bright like light. My favourite lines would have to be
Originally Posted by Mr. Spork
Like the full moon sails from there to here
Lighting up the darkest night
<3<3<3<3<3 Awww, hun *huggles*. Those were lovely *siiiigh*. Gees, Sporkster, you're turning me into a sentimental mess again XD. <3 @ "Beautiful, even when you pout" line--I just thought that was so adorable. Aw, man, how you described your crush in "Do you know?"... I sat here thinking about various crushes I've had over the years--your words captured my expriences perfectly . "Dance" was very sweet. OooOOooOoooOOooOOoh for being in looooooove XD *whacks* <--for making me feel all mushy ^^.
I think Spork's got a crush on somebody! Either that or this is running through your head when you look in a mirror you egotistical freak. j/k Very good Spork, keep up the good work! When are you gonna start on the Anakin Diaries btw?
Two beautiful poems Sporky. ^_^ I liked Dance a lot, it went through the various doubts you feel about if you were to be with someone, but in the end still showed how happy that person makes you. I especially liked the last verse. I also liked your latest poem a lot, it really shows how wonderful this person is in your eyes. Very sweet. ^_^
Very good Spork. It's a good continuation of the Vader diarys. Which unfortunately for ZUers aren't up on here. That's too bad. But I liked it anyways. It had the simplistic ramblings of a 9 year old, and was quite funny.
Your two latest poems were excellent as always, Sporky. I liked the first a lot; it had some really nice imagery, and you kept the rhythym of the stanzas fairly even. Very beautiful. ^_^ The second one was great too, very funny. Post more soon!
I liked these last two poems of yours Mr. Spork. ^^ Thinking of You is sweet; I like how you show every unhappy instance checked and remedied by a thought. The Anakin Diaries were very amusing; I loved the line, "Luckily, I've practiced plenty on Mario Kart."
Very good Sporky! It's been a while since I've had a look at your poems, and while I've seen a few of them elsewhere, there were a couple I've never seen before. I like the beginning of The Anakin Diaries, very funny. Hopefully, with this group of poems I'll actually get all the Star Wars references. Very good Sporky, I'm waiting for more.
Thanks to Mr Spork for this cool sig! Thanks to PrincessSerenity.net for my avatar pic! KnowItAllSister is my big sister!! Mr Spork is my friend... why?
There was a hint of winter on the wind,
gently preparing the senses,
a brisk kiss on the cheek,
easing them into the season to come,
of jumpers in the dying afternoon sun,
of hiding under the blankets for just a few minutes more,
of trying to change clothes under them too,
of forgetting to wear long pants, pretending it doesn't bother you,
of enjoying long, hot showers, and cursing those who do the same,
of trying to find socks just to walk across the lino,
of resisting the urge to lick the ice cold windows,
of standing awkwardly near groups of other people for the warmth,
of using the temperature gauges on your chest to tell if you want to wear a jacket,
of regretting your choice to swim at the beach because 'you never know when you'll be back',
of keeping your computer on for a long time just to bask in the heat it gives off,
of huddling around the toaster like a campfire.
I liked this latest poem a lot. It was simple, but it really invoked the feel of winter, managing to bring it about without resorting to flowery or sappy language that generally seems to saturate poetry. The line about "using the temperature gauges on your chest" in particular made me chuckle.
Hippos with their big mouths
Crocodiles with their tiny mouths
Hippos should eat crocodiles
Gulp them down
Chomp Chomp Chomp
Two or three at a time
Crocodile has pointy teeth
But Hippo can swallow crocodile
Yum Yum Yum
Nom Nom Nom
But Hippo doesn't eat crocodile
Crocodile tastes like *****
Like an Analogy
Clouds drift by
Like marshmallow floating in a toilet bowl
The sun lights the sky
Like the fridge light lights mouldy cheese
Birds sing out
Like prostitues on a street corner
Trees stand tall
Like a meerkat standing on stitls on top of a ladder
The breeze is gentle
Like the breath of a fellow commuter on the back of your neck
The dew is damp
Like the armpit of a monkey that is itself stuck in the armpit of a giraffe
The rooster crows
Like an announcement of a clean up in aisle seven
Butterflies seek out flowers
Like an old lady seeking out cans of soup on special for thirty four cents
The morning bares all
Like a popstar getting out of a car
It lifts spirits
Like an elevator carrying a chairlift carrying a busty woman wearing a push up bra
The morning glee is fake
Like a politician's toupee promising tax cuts in the middle of a wrestling match
The morning is depressing
Like realising you live in a world where popcorn and a drink costs over ten dollars at the movies.