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  #61 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-22-2005, 03:34 PM
Zanza South Africa Zanza is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Hey sam, there's a couple posts about writer's block a few pages back, like, pages 3-4, but my personal advice is to get your mind off your writing for awhile by doing something totally different (like bowling, walking, playing music, playing a sport, etc....) for a couple of days. It clears your mind out of the corner it fell into. Then start again w/ the writing process after you've relaxed for a few days.

~Zanza
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Last Edited by Zanza; 08-22-2005 at 03:42 PM. Reason:
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Old 08-22-2005, 03:59 PM
samthegamer United_States samthegamer is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

OK. Thanks for the advice.
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Old 08-22-2005, 07:32 PM
Jeff Jeff is a male United States Jeff is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Alright, I've got another big Gundam fic coming in september, and I've started to write an outline for the chapters, pretty much the main topic for the scenes and what happens in them. I wanna know, based on what I'm about to show you, is my outline clear and detailed enough so that I won't ever have to come up with things off the top of my head or figure out a plot-line five minutes before I sit down and write?

Basically, does it look like a good prewrite?




Prologue-
-Quick explanation on fight at Lunar Base
-Leaders of Giyre discuss plans for their attack



Chapter 1-

-Explanation on the entire war, recap of past months' events
-Neutral Colony scene with Xigo, Jina, Iryn and other extras
-Scene with Treston and Jessa at Hawaii
-PLANT scenes with Nitras and his mom, Sakara and his parents, new Gundam and its pilot
-Scenes with Taro, Logan and Rodka at Alaska Base, Arelie and Cerrical call to Neutral Colony

-Xigo, Jina and Iryn talk to them, then they talk by themselves



Chapter 2-

-Giyre leaders explain battle attack on Neutral Colony, first meeting with trio of Gundam pilots

-Quick scene with Xigo, Jina and Iryn during colony festivel
-Giyre ship deploys Ales, they break into the colony
-Brief moment at the festivel again, Ales fly in and start attacking the town. Xigo runs to get the Valor, as Jina and Iryn run to defense base. Xigo fights Ales in the sky before they break out of the colony, and Xigo finishes them off, also catching glimpse of the Giyre ship.

-Brief part of Zaft vessel being attacked by Giye troops
-Nitras talks to his mom about Giyre attacks on Zaft, Miss Dolorga talks to Council


Chapter 3-
-Xigo talks with Commader Cerrical and Administator, later leaves with Jina and Iryn on ship to Earth

-Giyre leader makes universal announcement about Giyre's new war
-Atlantic Federation meeting about the war at Alaska, Treston and Jessa arrive to attend, they're all shown the new warhsip Ophanim, which Arelie will take control of while in Africa

-New Zaft Gundam learns all of the situation, gets ready to leave for Earth
-Top Giyre soldier enters the story, is given orders from Giyre leaders and then leaves with twenty other Mobile Suits to attack Zaft supply train

-Zaft supply train is attacked, PLANT where Nitras lives in informed, Xigo eventually comes with the Valor and destroys a bunch, also defeats the team-leader in a single fight, Nitras and other Zaft soldiers arrive to talk to Xigo

-Xigo arrives at PLANT with Nitras and other soldiers, talks to Nitras and his mom, then goes to bed and thinks about the war




Just ignore any fic or Gundam terms, I don't expect any of you to know them
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  #64 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-22-2005, 08:25 PM
LegendofLex LegendofLex is a male LegendofLex is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Quote:
Originally Posted by achitka
I actually like the opening, minus the first word being He. If you substituted his name or possibly what he does, ie the bounty hunter and cut the sentence off at ...which he waded... It would improve the flow. Overall is a good opening to the scene.

One other thing I noticed, in some of the action sequences there's this;

But, in the mind of Dennon Hart, luck is not luck at all, but talent gone into overdrive.
He *** already whipped his handgun free of its holster before its movement *** yet to pass his eye, because he *** guessed that something *** noticed him squint, and perhaps *** perceived his eyes as being closed. He *** already jerked the trigger before he *** even sensed its advance, because he *** realized immediately that that same something was coming to kill him. It *** already expired before it pounced, because he *** known precisely where to aim. He *** already shuffled out of the way before it hit the concrete of the pipeline, because, under the illumination of the grating, he could better examine his kill.

The *** is the word 'had' is a passive that robs your narrative of it 'punch'. Is also hard to give up - I know I struggle with it constantly. If you read it without them you can see which of them aren't needed. If you applied this to the rest as self edit, you'll find most times it wasn't needed and weakened the narrative by making it sound unsure.
The passive was supposed to indicate that the action itself was passive. But I suppose I didn't pull it off too well.
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Old 08-22-2005, 09:17 PM
Rising Light Rising Light is a female United States Rising Light is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanza
I like it. However, this is a story, so I hope that the actual chapters are not so.....encyclopaedia-ish. I think it's a neat idea -- having the elements confined to regions. I think there could be some ways to make the Prologue a bit more exciting and not so text-bookish, but I can't think of any off the top of my head. (I'm just one of those rare people who enjoys reading the encyclopaedia ).
Encyclopedia-is, eh? Well, I wasn't intending on making it like that. I just wanted to write a prologue so people wouldn't be completly confused by this world that I have created (yeah, if you haven't guessed by the name, it's all made up). Don't worry, I intend on making the rest of the story much more exciting.

And I edited the prologue of my story...so go re-read it if you want...*points to page four* Of course, you don't have to...
  #66 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-23-2005, 12:51 AM
achitka achitka is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Quote:
Originally Posted by LionHarted
The passive was supposed to indicate that the action itself was passive. But I suppose I didn't pull it off too well.
If by passive you meant the character was impassive as he did these things, I understand what you mean. I think it might be better stated with a show of his attitude toward whatever he's about to kill. He seems a very confident and quick thinking individual with attitude...I didn't mess with it much just a few sentences to illustrate.

But, in the mind of Dennon Hart, luck is not luck at all, but talent gone into overdrive.
(I really like this line btw)

He'd already whipped his handgun free of its holster before its movement passed his eye. Maybe, that something noticed him squint and perceived his eyes as being closed. Idiot. The trigger jerked before he even sensed its advance...

or something like that...
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Old 08-23-2005, 03:25 AM
Zanza South Africa Zanza is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Mirren, that outline looks pretty solid. Although, wouldn't you put the recap of the war that's currently in chapter 1 into the prologue?? It would make more sense for it to go there than in the actual story, unless, of course, the character's themselves are talking about it.

I absolutely LOVED your other one (I had to read it after I edited that bit for you ), so I'm excited. But....it's only 3 chapters??? Or are you going to add more for the month of October?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

rising light, yeah, that looks a lot better. Now there's an actual purpose behind all the history. We have a clear understanding of PROBABLY what the story will be about (usually the function for a prologue) and we have an understanding of what the land and culture is like. Well-done.

~Zanza
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Old 08-23-2005, 01:31 PM
achitka achitka is offline
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:03 PM
Lly Lly is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Woah. AWESOME. O.O; Must look at all of zem! >D Thank you sooo much, achitka! :3

By the way... umm, I'm modding at a really spiffy little writing forum called The FanFic Academy. We're really desperate for members, so I was wondering if anyone would mind me advertising here, like posting a link. .__.ll Advertising can be really annoying on forums sometimes, but I promised that I'd try to help attract new members, so anyone mind me posting a link? ^^;
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Old 08-25-2005, 12:25 AM
achitka achitka is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Quote:
Originally Posted by vacumgod
Here's somthing I've been working on for mose of the summer. It's Science fiction mingled in with a bit of spontaneus prose. I intend for this to become a short graphic novel when I'm done. I'm about half way throuh. The dialoge is more like a movie script, I'll have long desciptions and internal monologues followed by quick conversations. Remember, this is just the bare bones, a script of sorts, so theres no "he said she said, he mumbled" etc.
Here's the first chapter, tell me what you think.

StarBoy: Battle Love

First off! This is a true story, but when ya think about it, it's jus' that! A story DUDE! DUDE! Look up in the sky and tell me what you see, no no, not the day sky, its all blue, an ocean above our heads, vertical abyss. I'm talking to you about the night sky! The sky of the old monsters, scropio, ursa major and her young! That giant ladle and persius. The sky of heroes! The sky of stories!. So without further adiue, thats total french by the way, let me begin, rap it in, out, bellybutton!

So, school ends, thats, right, the first afternoon of summer. Imaginations fly with sprinklers, water, secret codes, slurpies, oldies speak of pot dreams and drunk speak of drunkin dreams, I dream of...

SAM-Ed, this is summer vacation! Can you believe what I see, blue sky! Clouds! Downtown in the backround, ya see? Its heaven man!

ED-heaven on earth? Pssh, the only heaven I see is the heaven of taking a wiz, I do declare fair Sam! Drinking 3 bottles of kerns 100% natural water is not good for ones bowels--

Then, I saw her... my warrior princess, the girl I loved ever so long ago, the hot, the E, the N, the I, my sweet love, let us get on the chariots of fire and carry the sun over the skyscraper mountains!
Her name is Nicole...
She is moving in...4 houses away... from me...
And then I died.

I awoke to find my body on the gurny and my mind in the stars,Sam, mother, Dad, brother, nicole.. WAIT WHAT!! WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE! UGH.. MEGA UGH
I didn't get a chance to read this before. It really is a bit of drama. I really like it too but I feel I'm missing too much information, probably because I don't know what the scene setting is. I'm sure with the graphics you have planned, it will make loads more sense. Though I think I got the basic idea you were trying to convey. The use of the word 'bowles' *shudders* struck me funny - but meh, within the context of the graphics it probably fits just fine.

Hope to see more
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Old 08-25-2005, 07:46 AM
Silence United_States Silence is offline
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Freak Show

Hey, I know I already posted about this but I would like some more ideas for "Freaks" in my Freak show story. You guys got any more ideas? I'd like any at all, no matter how crazy they are, as long as they are within the realm of posibility.

Thanks again.
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Old 08-27-2005, 07:03 PM
Evil Tomato United_States Evil Tomato is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Augh.
Anyone have any hints as to how to get better at writing for a different genre?
I've been writing fanfiction (mainly for SuperSmashBrothers:Melee), and so far it's all been humor. I'd like to try to write a sort of weird sci-fi/horror thing, but I really don't know how to write good horror.
(Lakayal, I might join The Fanfic Academy. Depends on how lazy I'm feeling.)
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  #73 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-28-2005, 01:38 PM
zeldafan364 zeldafan364 is a male zeldafan364 is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Ok. I have to write a poem about 6:30 PM for English class, due tomorrow (Monday). She said it doesn't have to be a real poem form or whatever, it just has to flow like one and stuff. She said it needs to be 10 lines long. Here's what I've got so far, I'm a little stuck though. Is this ok? And what should I put for the last line, or should I put one in the middle, or what?

The sun leaks pale yellow
Into the surrounding shreds of cloud.
The warm air smells of wet earth
And freshly cut grass.
Crickets chirp, dogs bark.
A lawnmower rumbles in the distance.
Leaves are glowing bright green.
Shadows stretch across the street.
The day is ending.
AND I WANT TO KILL MY ENGLISH TEACHER AAAGGGHHH!!!!

Obviously, I'm not going to put the line in caps in the final thing. I just need a little critique and help.


Crud, I'm awful. *puts paper bag over head*
  #74 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-29-2005, 12:13 AM
achitka achitka is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hylian Lemon
Ok. I have to write a poem about 6:30 PM for English class, due tomorrow (Monday). She said it doesn't have to be a real poem form or whatever, it just has to flow like one and stuff. She said it needs to be 10 lines long. Here's what I've got so far, I'm a little stuck though. Is this ok? And what should I put for the last line, or should I put one in the middle, or what?

The sun leaks pale yellow
Into the surrounding shreds of cloud.
The warm air smells of wet earth
And freshly cut grass.
Crickets chirp, dogs bark.
A lawnmower rumbles in the distance.
Leaves are glowing bright green.
Shadows stretch across the street.
The day is ending.
AND I WANT TO KILL MY ENGLISH TEACHER AAAGGGHHH!!!!

Obviously, I'm not going to put the line in caps in the final thing. I just need a little critique and help.


Crud, I'm awful. *puts paper bag over head*
Heh, two suggestions; you dont have to capitalize at the beginning of each line kinda disrupts the flow of it. The other well just try to say just as much with fewer words.

I would suggest this:

The sun leaks pale yellow
into the surrounding shreds of cloud.
The warm air, smells of wet earth
and fresh cut grass.
A cricket chirps, a dog barks,
a lawnmower rumbles in the distance.
Leaves glow bright green,
as shadows stretch across the street.
A day is ending,
and ushers in a summer's eve (or sumthing like that)

Is a cute little poem

g'nite!
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Old 08-29-2005, 07:15 PM
Ket United_States Ket is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Tomato
Augh.
Anyone have any hints as to how to get better at writing for a different genre?
I've been writing fanfiction (mainly for SuperSmashBrothers:Melee), and so far it's all been humor. I'd like to try to write a sort of weird sci-fi/horror thing, but I really don't know how to write good horror.
I'm not an expert or anything, but I know the horror genre depends heavily on description; how characters feel ("Bubba felt the wind rush by like an icy knife. He shivered.") or how gruesome/creepy something is ("A greasy tentacle wrapped around Mario's arm, and the stench of rotting meat filled the air.")

Horror doesn't have to be gross or gory, either; just create an atmosphere of suspense and dread, and support it with excellent writing.
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  #76 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-31-2005, 04:32 PM
Jeff Jeff is a male United States Jeff is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Zanza- Of course that's not all of the story, I plan to have it much longer than the first one


As for a new topic, do any of you guys write notes for your stories? Like, jot your ideas down somewhere for whatever?

I started doing a lot of it for my Gundam fic, basically taking a few Notepad documents on my computer and using them to write out all kinds of stuff for the fics; the list of Gundams and Mobile Suits and their weapons, chapter outlines and brief scene descriptions and stuff. Now I'm doing more of it for an upcoming fic of mine. I just grabbed a notebook last night, took a pen and starting writing down all kinds of things for the monsters in the story, background info on certain plot points, items and explanations on the history of the story and such.

If you don't do any of it, I would suggest to all writers that you should, it's a great way to avoid plot-holes and writer's block, and it makes writing the story easier because you have a clear idea of what you're doing, what's going on, and what's going to happen in the long-run
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  #77 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-31-2005, 11:03 PM
achitka achitka is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

Welcome to my 500th post is a miricle I know - anyway...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirren
As for a new topic, do any of you guys write notes for your stories? Like, jot your ideas down somewhere for whatever?
Funny you should mention that - I have a word doc for Nagori, Saimon and Senkyoku (I use word because I can dump, scattered definitions, meanings of names, pics of items and sometimes even small portions of writing I edited out, but like enough that I could just delete them) jes is a sad state of affairs - but I've been working on it (on and off) for 2 years...I'm am bound to forget something.

My other fics also have similar docs devoted to them - reunion has the complete text dump of the ocarina of time in it - along with random maps and other information I throw in there.

Another method I've found helpful for keeping on track is to write 5 - 10 random sentences or plot points at the bottom of the chapter I'm working on and once I cover whatever, in the text, I lop it off the list.

I am a dyslexic writer - I write my scenes in reverse and then get to spend time re-arranging them
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Old 09-01-2005, 02:02 AM
Zanza South Africa Zanza is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

As for both of you, I do a variation of both your ideas: I have at least three different notebooks all full of notes and characters and random scribblings of writing. And on my computer, I have about six folders devoted to different stories, research, notes, etc...... I'm spastic -- I write some part of a chapter on paper, and the rest of it in the computer. Or I write the paper chapter INTO the computer, and continue from there. This is what happens when one doesn't own one's own computer in one's own room! ><
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  #79 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 09-01-2005, 02:09 AM
Mr Spork Australia Mr Spork is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

I never write down notes for my stories. I generally think of a title and go from there. Sometimes, I've got basic plot ideas in my head but oftentimes, they'll quickly change as I start to write it. The Knights of Suburbia, for example, is very different to what was originally going to happen in the story. I find it is very interesting if you yourself have no idea of where your story is going, that way it is less likely that readers will guess plot twists, because you haven't thought of them yet. You might think that it would make it hard to write a story if you have no idea where you're going, but I haven't had any difficulties. Sometimes I have the beginning and ending worked out but the bits in between I tend to make up as I go. Descent, for example, has the ending all figured out.

Now that I think about it, Pedal Powered Penny is the only one of my stories that I haven't figured out where it will end up eventually.
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Old 09-01-2005, 08:18 AM
Selah Selah is a female Selah is offline
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Re: Writer's Council V.2

When I begin a Super Smash Bros. fanfiction, I'm wont to jot down any and everything associated, in my mind, with the characters, setting, etc. Whether it is, to paraphrase my English teacher, a concept, some context, or content, I make sure to write it down, no matter how ludicrous is seems at the time. I also create outlines, write scenes, etc. for my SSBM fanfics, and write a lot of random prose that often has little to do with any story. I find it comes in handy.

As for my Zelda fanfiction, and original works, I rarely write down anything regarding them beyond the title, and perhaps a summary. I'm trying to get into the habit of writing outlines for my Zelda works. I suppose that's due to the fact my SSBM fics tend to embrace a great many ideas, whereas my Zelda fanfiction and original fiction are usually very linear, and therefore I erroneously feel it unnecessary to track where my story is going in the latter categories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by achitka
I am a dyslexic writer - I write my scenes in reverse and then get to spend time re-arranging them.
Oh, I do that too! Or at least, I'll write out the ending chapter of a story, along with several random scenes that will fit God knows where, and then try and put them all together. I find writing linearly to be very monotonous.
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