[Poetry] Holybelmont's Poetry

As i stand here and look upon the sky . Sun kisses the face of the hero once more..as the clouds dance with the morning sky. He rides yet another to find the girl who has his heart.."shall i find love again?" races through his mind. the love he felt long ago was but a dream to him now..O the journey of life begins with a single step..what comes after it is your path to fallow.. As he rides to find the love he holds dear..not showing fatigue or fear in his eyes.. one thought goes into his mind. " will i find love once more?" and i shall speak no more..

Standing in a crossroad ...where do i go?
My mind is blurry the answer i do not know..
the road is difficult to travel..swallowing up innocent bystanders..
the roads look the same for the destination remains unchanged..
my heart shall give answer to what road i travel on..
i walk to left on the road unknown..traveling to where i wish i known..
i see a field full of flowers..shining so bright in the twilight hour..
a scene of serenity a true sight of beauty.. i remember now the reason i left my village..seeking revenge for the death of my loved ones.. gaining power is the key..for soon they shall dead at my feet..tears sorrow and bitter taste of hate..."ill make sure you claim your fate!" long have i traveled to find and destroy.. the ones that my heart cant avoid..killing them will fill the void.... but am i right to kill them..or am i wrong..ill know the answer as i travel on..

Plz comment and thank you.

I've gone ahead and merged both of your poems into one thread. As a general rule, we usually tend to keep all of our poetry (and/or short stories) in single threads to keep things tidy around here. I have renamed your thread to a more generic, all-encompassing title. If you wish for it to be named something different, or if you have any questions about anything, please don't hesitate to shoot me a VM or PM!

Originally Posted by Holybelmont

Standing in a crossroad ...where do i go?
My mind is blurry the answer i do not know..
the road is difficult to travel..swallowing up innocent bystanders..
the roads look the same for the destination remains unchanged..
my heart shall give answer to what road i travel on..
i walk to left on the road unknown..traveling to where i wish i known..
i see a field full of flowers..shining so bright in the twilight hour..
a scene of serenity a true sight of beauty.. i remember now the reason i left my village..seeking revenge for the death of my loved ones.. gaining power is the key..for soon they shall dead at my feet..tears sorrow and bitter taste of hate..."ill make sure you claim your fate!" long have i traveled to find and destroy.. the ones that my heart cant avoid..killing them will fill the void.... but am i right to kill them..or am i wrong..ill know the answer as i travel on..

Plz comment and thank you.

The first thing I have to say is to break up the lines after 'twilight hour.' It's up to you how you break them up, but generally, poetry reads more natural and is more effective if there are actual lines and stanzas that clearly end and begin. Which brings me to my next point; the '..' things. They aren't necessary if you were to break up the poem up into lines and stanzas. Also, capitalize the 'I's and use commas when necessary to help the poem flow better. As for the poem itself (aside from the technical issues), it was alright. If you fixed the technical issues, you could really make something great

Great job! They're lovely!

Your poetry is brilliant!!!!! I absolutely adore the language that you use in them! Thank you very much for letting me read them!
So, how long have you been writing poems for? My guess would be for quite a long time.

tis true nami-san..i have been writing poetry for quite some time..

You have an interesting writing style that I enjoy. It's like free-verse but with rhymes intricately placed.

thank you gamzee i appreciate your words ..

To My Angel
To all the angels in life who feel threaten are beaten down by the wieght of grief sadness and emptiness.. allow some of my light to shine down on you to lift thee up for i am there for thee i shall cover you in a blanket of serenity and peace in where happiness is a heartbeat away oh angel may you find comfort and sencereity in thine words ...live agian angel and find life anew..for a bright and shining future awaits you..

Originally Posted by Holybelmont

To My Angel
To all the angels in life who feel threaten are beaten down by the wieght of grief sadness and emptiness.. allow some of my light to shine down on you to lift thee up for i am there for thee i shall cover you in a blanket of serenity and peace in where happiness is a heartbeat away oh angel may you find comfort and sencereity in thine words ...live agian angel and find life anew..for a bright and shining future awaits you..

...beautiful. This poem has got such a warm and uplifting feel about it. I like it very much!
Thank you for posting!

That's very pretty!! I'll echo Gamzee and say I enjoy reading your poems. The style is different, but I really enjoy it.

Thanks Nami-san and thank you HH.. your both too kind..i feel as though i have won 2 great fans.. and i like that lol

Walking down this old dirt road/leaving the only place i called home/ wondering why Im here or the reason that i live/walking down the road unknown/the sunlight dose not shine here/i saw an old man glaring right at me/ he said "Son stand your ground and calm yourself for what i speak will hurt you."

Chorus: He said your not supposed to be here/ you were never meant ever to exist/ your just an accident that happened on one day in June/Please forgive your parents/ for they loved you and they knew the truth/Son im sorry but the world/ didn't really ever needed you.

Shaking and trembling i just stood and stared at him/ clenching my fists with hate/ i told him "Your lying that's not truth they loved for who i am"/ i never really know why they went and left me all alone/ in the big house with a note saying "sorry" till this day my heart still worries.

So im not supposed to be here?/ im was never meant to exist?/ im an accident that happened one day in June?/ yes i love my parents every day/ so what if they knew this damn old truth/ i know deep in my heart that this world dose need me.

Ill make a name for myself/ With my fist raised in the sky/ My words will make you see just who i am/ ill love all my fans just as i love my mother and father/ the old man weeped and slowly vanished into air/ ill show the world im ready for you..

Originally Posted by Holybelmont

Standing in a crossroad ...where do i go?
My mind is blurry the answer i do not know..
the road is difficult to travel..swallowing up innocent bystanders..
the roads look the same for the destination remains unchanged..
my heart shall give answer to what road i travel on..
i walk to left on the road unknown..traveling to where i wish i known..
i see a field full of flowers..shining so bright in the twilight hour..
a scene of serenity a true sight of beauty.. i remember now the reason i left my village..seeking revenge for the death of my loved ones.. gaining power is the key..for soon they shall dead at my feet..tears sorrow and bitter taste of hate..."ill make sure you claim your fate!" long have i traveled to find and destroy.. the ones that my heart cant avoid..killing them will fill the void.... but am i right to kill them..or am i wrong..ill know the answer as i travel on..

I love this one!

Is this one based off Lords of Shadow?

yeah you can say lords of shadows plays a role in it.

You're amazing, as always!

Madam you make me blush..and not many people can do that..so your an amazing person as well..

These are all lovely, the language flows well and has an elegant feel. I'll have to echo MorbidDelight and say they would be much better if you fixed the technical issues he mentioned. Overall they're all very nice, but with such disjointed grammar it's sometimes hard to understand. It really is an easy fix, but the improvement will be very noticeable!