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Old 05-11-2012, 09:01 PM
TheKnightOfMalice TheKnightOfMalice is a male United States TheKnightOfMalice is offline
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Eternal Darkness

Authors notes: My take on what would happen if Demise got his hands on the triforce and killed the three goddesses. Yah, it's kinda dark. Much will be explained in further chapters, this is only the prologue. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing this!- TheKnightOfMalice

Quote:

Prologue


"With my knowledge I shall bring order to this sacred land, and judgement to those who commit acts of evil." Said Nayru.
"With my power, I shall shape the land, and the intentions of those who inhabit it." Din added.
"And through my courage," Farore spoke; "I shall bring life to the land, who shall watch over it with care, and protect it with their lives..."
Farore stopped abruptly. A dark aura emanated from behind the three goddesses... slowly coming closer...
"And through my superiority and strength," spoke a dark and raspy voice; "I doom this land to an eternity of suffering. Hand over the Tri-force, or I will seize it from your cold dead hands." This voice was of poor tidings, it was the voice of Demise.
The three goddesses spun around in shock, only to be bombarded by a mass of demons and shadows. They tried to fight back, but growing still was the number of scaly appendages draping over them.
"Who are you!?" Din said in a dying effort.
Two large red eyes peered back at her as she was swallowed by the crowd of monsters.
"I am Demise, lord of demons..." He let the Tri-force float to his hand as if he was its true maker... "And now, lord of this accursed land."
Farore and Nayru still stood, their tactics failing.
"There shall be one who will stand against all evil someday..." Farore croaked. "I hereby sacrifice myself so that they may go against all odds and end this!"
Farore became covered in a shroud of green light, only to shatter and release it into the air.
"No!!!" Came the voice of Demise. He desperately sped toward the light, swatting at it as it dissolved into the air. In his rage, he leapt toward Nayru, the last goddess standing.
"I... also sacrifice myself..." She sputtered. "So that there may be one to guide the people with great wisdom and reason!" Nayru died as Farore did, but the light that emanated from her was blue.
Infuriated to a dangerous extent, Demise erupted in flames.
"Power still remains!" He yelled in an otherwordly tone. The two other pieces of the Tri-force had left with Nayru and Farore.
"I hereby bestow upon myself this godly power..." The flames grew larger.
"So that I may combat anything and anyone that dare speak my name!!!"
The remaining piece of the Tri-force turned blood red before shooting into the chest of the demon. The land that had only just been created was already doomed to die. Would the sacrafices of courage and wisdom be rewarding, or would Hyrule be corrupted until the end of time...
Last Edited by TheKnightOfMalice; 05-11-2012 at 09:04 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 05-18-2012, 11:44 AM
HylianHeroine HylianHeroine is a female United Kingdom HylianHeroine is offline
"I'm the bloody Queen, mate. Basically, I rule."
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Re: Eternal Darkness

Very nice! Creepy too!
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Old 05-18-2012, 01:04 PM
Devoid Devoid is a male United States Devoid is offline
Only during the darkest of times can one light shine the brightest
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Between two worlds, seeking trut
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Re: Eternal Darkness

I honestly don't think that I like the idea of Demise automatically claiming the Triforce of Power...

And Nayru sacrificing herself to create Zelda is off beat to SS's explainations...

But, I'll assume that this is a different Timeline/universe/reality, so I'll let it slide.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter though.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:53 PM
Pinkie Pie United States Pinkie Pie is offline
And then LLAMAS!
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Ponyville
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Re: Eternal Darkness

Left-align your story. Center alignment makes it more difficult to read.

And you don't need to color coordinate your dialogue. If the dialogue sounds as if it's coming from a particular source, we'll know.

And insert a blank line between each paragraph. That as well will make your story easier to read.
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Old 05-18-2012, 04:42 PM
TheKnightOfMalice TheKnightOfMalice is a male United States TheKnightOfMalice is offline
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Re: Eternal Darkness

Will do... to anything anyone recommended. After adding the color I realized that it looked a little over-the-top, but I just didn't have time to fix it. Thanks for the feedback.
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