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Old 05-01-2012, 03:26 PM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Hello!
The fate of Termina in the AT has always been a subject of much consternation (yay! Vocabulary!) to me. Was it destroyed? Did Majora’s mask ever get stolen? WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?
(Ahem).
As a result, I drafted this in a boring English class, and decided to write it up properly. I am afraid there will be MM spoilers.
And maybe swearing, although I’ll try to keep it to a minimum. All reviews/comments are, of course, appreciated. There may even be something more to add if anyone cares...

The Fate of AT Termina

PART ONE- DAMNATION


Freefall.

It’s a nice enough word. It carries connotations of fun, enjoyment, and adrenaline.

It is, however, perhaps not so friendly when it is applied to a moon.

Termina’s end was coming. Seven thousand tons of epoch-ending stone hurtling towards the ground at speeds approaching eighty miles per hour.

It was going to hit, and hit big

At the top of Clock Tower, a diminutive figure was stood, arms open to the heavens, purple energy coursing through his sparse frame and off up into the sky. He was dressed in the ragged red and yellow tatters of a woodland sprite, and would have looked perfectly charming if it weren’t for the hideous mask he wore on his face.

Carved to look like a twisted mockery of a stylised heart, it was evidently the source of the purple energy. Wild, yellow eyes with deep green irises stared up, unflinchingly at the moon it was bringing to the ground.

Then, slowly, the eyes blinked.

Perhaps not so much mask, then.

“Stop it!”

The sprite considered for a moment, and lowered its arms, job done.

“Okay.”

It turned around, expecting to see perhaps one of the guards of Clock Town. Instead there was a boy, perhaps twelve years old, with a shock of sapphire-blue hair. He was holding a sword, the end pointed at the sprite, with utmost courage, but very little skill.

“The moon is still moving.” The boy said, gesturing to where enough rock to destroy the world was still hurtling towards the ground at incredible speeds. “Stop it.”

The imp shrugged. “Can’t.” its voice was raspy and indescribably terrifying, like the unknowable voices you find in your nightmares. “Its inertia is huge. It took three days of work to get it this far out of its orbit, no force in this little world short of the giants themselves could halt it now.”

“Really…?” The sword sagged. The imp chuckled, an unnaturally deep sound for something so small.

“You didn’t think this far ahead, did you boy? Besides, whilst I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted, I don’t want to. The impact that thing will create will easily be enough to break this mask.” The imp rapped his knuckles on the ceramic surface. “Freedom will be so great after all these centuries.”

“You’ve… you’ve been wearing the mask for that long?” the boy asked.

The imp shook his head. “Don’t you understand, boy? I AM the mask. I am Majora! And no snotty nosed ten year old piece of nothing is going to stand in the way of my freedom.” Majora turned back to the moon. There was a long silence.

“I’m… I’m not ten.”

“Sorry?” Majora didn’t turn around.

“I’m not ten.”

Majora just sighed halfheartedly.

“You transformed me. You pulled me away from my fiancé, my family, you ruined me.”
The boy raised his sword.

Majora chuckled. “That does sound like the kind of thing I’d do.”

“You took everything from me.” He raised he sword above his head. “And even if I can’t save my world, I will kill YOU!” He charged Majora, swinging his sword wildly, with little care for where it went as long as it went in his enemy. The imp caught the blade, tearing it from his hands before backhanding him across the clock tower.

“I knew I recognised you from somewhere!” Majora exclaimed as the boy lay gasping for the breath that had been knocked clean out of him. “You’re that kid who was in love with that whore girl. What was your name again? Kyle?”

“Kafei.” The boy coughed. “And Anju is not a whore.”

“Chambermaid, incredibly attractive…”Majora chuckled again. “Sounds like a whore to me, Kyle.”

“You’re just saying that to make me angry.” Kafei spluttered.

“Yes, yes I am.” Majora returned to the balcony and his watch of the moon.

Kafei changed tactic. “What about the innocent people down there? If you want, I’m sure that we could find another way to break your mask. Any other way!”

Majora tutted. “Kyle, even if you could find another way to destroy this mask, the outcome would be the same. I would Still kill everyone in this land, it’s what I do.” He smiled, or at least moved the mask to give an impression of smiling. “Besides, I wasn’t lying when I said the moon couldn’t be stopped. It’s physics, y’know?” Kafei charged him again, and this time he hit the wall so hard that his left leg broke. He could feel the tug of the moon at his hair, and noticed that the mist of blood that he was coughing up was floating upwards slightly before falling. Majora cackled. “It’s too late now, anyway.” He raised his arms. “the moon is coming! THE MOON IS COMING!” his cackle grew into a roar of laughter as the orb that was the moon seemed to catch fire as it entered the denser atmosphere at this altitude. “AND. SO. IS. MAJORAAAAA!!!

His laughter drowned out the world.

It drowned out the prayers of the ranch refugees, the painful sobs of Kafei, and the cries of terror from every horrified animal in the land.

It drowned out the world.

It was the world.

It was everything.

It was in the Terminan's brains, their minds, their souls.

There was only laughter, the gloating laughter of an insane shade.

The moon hit.

Freefalling had stopped.

Boom.
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Last Edited by Blak; 05-16-2012 at 10:30 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 05-01-2012, 09:58 PM
breegull United States breegull is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

I like this, but the profanity seems out of character for both sides, and the dialogue doesn't feel very... Legend of Zelda-esque, if that makes sense. The idea is solid and probable, and the end realistic, and with a retouching to the dialogue this could be perfect!
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:26 AM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Good point. The problem is, there's never really enough dialogue in a Zelda game to build up most of the characters, IMO, including Majora. My interpretation of Majora was 'okay, he's an evil jerk. Let's work with that."

But yeah, I will have to revise some of the dialogue. Thanks breegull!
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Old 05-02-2012, 07:36 AM
breegull United States breegull is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

No problem! I know it can be hard to grasp how a character acts or will speak, especially characters with very little screen time. It helps me to go back and think about what the character did over the course of the game, and try to take every little thing into account. Sometimes watching their scenes over--or even reading others' fanfiction of those characters--can really make a character that once seemed flat very three dimensional!

Good luck, Blak!
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Old 05-07-2012, 06:26 PM
iDin iDin is a female United States iDin is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

This is awesome, I've never been so intriged by story (well, I have before, but not quit like this). If I were you I'de write the other characters veiws as this happens. It would be very interesting.
Here's a pat on the back for now, and I would love to see more.
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Old 05-08-2012, 12:04 PM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Thank you for the praise, iDin. I like your ideas, so I decided that I might just do that. I have a few chapters planned, none of them very long (except possibly for Redemption and Farewell). I have to say, if you think this is good, you must think Pinkie Pie, Zerudahime and Shadow's (as well as a load of other people I will admit beat me) stuff transcends the rules of possibility.

Planned chapters:

Ikana.
Zoras.
Romani ranch.
Clock town.
Redemption.
Farewell.

So, without further ado, here's Ikana.


Ikana.


King Igos stood on the lip of the crater surrounding his castle. He had been stood there for hours, staring at the moon. He hadn’t said anything in all that time, just stood and stared.

Just stood and stared.

His bodyguards came up behind him, and had a brief silent argument about who should disturb the undead monarch, before the left one, distinguishable only by his more brutish-looking skull of a thoroughbred Ikanan, pointedly clattered his skeletal hands together.

“Do they fear it?” the king asked, not turning from the moon.

“I’m sorry sire?” asked the other skeleton, whose more elongated skull showed he was at least partly Hylian.

“The end.” Said Igos. “Do the people fear it? Does the thought of dying forever, after all these years scare them?”

The Ikanan shook his head. “No. they see the end as something to be treasured. No more duty to follow if the kingdom doesn’t exist.”

The king went through the motions of a sigh. “Then nor shall I. I too shall welcome the end.” He turned, finally, his gaze falling on his ancient castle. It had nominally fallen several centuries ago, but only today would its purpose be truly lost- the impact of the moon would obliterate even the undead of the canyon kingdom. “Play the song. Awaken the people. I would hold court one last time. Perhaps it will take my mind from the events to come.”

Five minutes later, Igos was seated in his throne room, the undead people of Ikana arrayed before him in a sight that would push any live person to the brink of insanity through its horror, but brought a swell of pride to the skeletal king. If he still had tearducts, he would have wept from them. After all the hardship they had faced, the people had never abandoned their country. Never. They had seen it through to the end.

And the end was now.

“Now.” Igos called. “Are there any matters that you, the people of Ikana, think are worthy of royal attention.” A citizen, Igos believed his name was Seket, raised hand. “Yes. You.”

“I wish to bring the king’s attention to the imminent destruction of the kingdom. I was wondering whether precautions should be taken to safeguard our personal treasures beyond our demise.”

Igos considered saying something, but instead elected to bury his head in his hands.
Some days just weren’t worth getting out of the casket for.

Then the laughter started.
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Last Edited by Blak; 05-08-2012 at 02:23 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 05-10-2012, 07:01 AM
Pinkie Pie United States Pinkie Pie is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Blak View Post
Good point. The problem is, there's never really enough dialogue in a Zelda game to build up most of the characters, IMO, including Majora. My interpretation of Majora was 'okay, he's an evil jerk. Let's work with that."

But yeah, I will have to revise some of the dialogue. Thanks breegull!
It's not that there's enough dialogue, it's that profanity, as we know it, doesn't seem to exist in the Legend of Zelda universe. Some words seem universal, but for the most part, including it destroys immersion.
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Old 05-10-2012, 10:05 AM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

I understand the problem. I'm still working on it. For some reason rewriting takes me longer than writing originally.

As for profanity not existing in TLOZ... that is correct, but nor does blood, prejudice, serious illegality... You get the idea. I'll agree that some of Majora's swearing is unnecessary (specifically 'I give my ♣♣♣♣s because?'), but I wanted to get across the way he's trying to make Kafei feel like nothing, and I thought insulting his now-unobtainable fiance was a good way to do this.

If you think it really ruins it, though, it can go. Your opinion matters a lot to me Pinkie.

Also, any thoughts on Ikana anybody?
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Last Edited by Blak; 05-10-2012 at 10:06 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 05-11-2012, 04:25 AM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

I like the Ikana chapter.

Love this part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Blak View Post
“I wish to bring the king’s attention to the imminent destruction of the kingdom. I was wondering whether precautions should be taken to safeguard our personal treasures beyond our demise.”

Igos considered saying something, but instead elected to bury his head in his hands.
Some days just weren’t worth getting out of the casket for.

Then the laughter started.
It made me laugh. From a critic's view it is a good work. But still laking a bit in descriptions. Just try to work on that and it will be fine.
Great job!
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:35 AM
Pinkie Pie United States Pinkie Pie is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Blak View Post
I understand the problem. I'm still working on it. For some reason rewriting takes me longer than writing originally.

As for profanity not existing in TLOZ... that is correct, but nor does blood, prejudice, serious illegality... You get the idea. I'll agree that some of Majora's swearing is unnecessary (specifically 'I give my ♣♣♣♣s because?'), but I wanted to get across the way he's trying to make Kafei feel like nothing, and I thought insulting his now-unobtainable fiance was a good way to do this.

If you think it really ruins it, though, it can go. Your opinion matters a lot to me Pinkie.

Also, any thoughts on Ikana anybody?
Pinkie Pie can't say the profanity ruins it, but it does throw the characterization for a loop, and the words do feel out of place in a universe that only ever made use of the word "damn". Once Pinkie Pie came across the profanity, it no longer felt like she was reading a story set in The Legend of Zelda universe. It's very possible to convey Kafei's anger without resorting to cursing.
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Old 05-18-2012, 12:39 PM
Devoid Devoid is a male United States Devoid is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Blak View Post

Planned chapters:

Ikana.
Zoras.
Romani ranch.
Clock town.
Redemption.
Farewell.
A word of caution, my friend.

Make sure, when your writing for these separate chapters, that the characters, and lack thereof, are accounted for.

Zoras: Mikua's already dead, and, most likely, the pirates have all of the Zora eggs.

Romani Ranch: Romani is gone; without Link's help, she was kidnapped by the "Ghost aliens" from night of day 1. At that point, it's only Cremia on the Ranch, though she may have fled as well.

Clock Town: Most of everyone is gone. Muso, or whatever his name is (the head of the construction workers), is standing outside of the Clock Tower waiting for the Festival to begin (which it never will). Anju has most likely fled Clock Town as well...

I don't know your plans on "Redemption" and "Farewell" so I can't speak to those...
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Old 05-18-2012, 12:49 PM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

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Originally Posted by Devoid View Post
A word of caution, my friend.

Make sure, when your writing for these separate chapters, that the characters, and lack thereof, are accounted for.

Zoras: Mikua's already dead, and, most likely, the pirates have all of the Zora eggs.

Romani Ranch: Romani is gone; without Link's help, she was kidnapped by the "Ghost aliens" from night of day 1. At that point, it's only Cremia on the Ranch, though she may have fled as well.

Clock Town: Most of everyone is gone. Muso, or whatever his name is (the head of the construction workers), is standing outside of the Clock Tower waiting for the Festival to begin (which it never will). Anju has most likely fled Clock Town as well...

I don't know your plans on "Redemption" and "Farewell" so I can't speak to those...
Thanks for those. I've completed MM, but never 100% it, so some of that's news to me. Two questions, though:

-Didn't the Them return Romani on he second day with all knowledge of the Them gone?
-Didn't Anju wait in Clock own until the end for Kafei (who is currently getting the ♣♣♣♣ kicked out of him by Majora), and would ultimately die right next to the moon's impact point?

The second one is most important, as the scene is going to be basically about her and the HMS (who may have a plan...) sharing a bottle of wine and a slice of cake.

As for redemption and farewell... I'm not so sure about those anymore. I might just leave the inhabitants of Termina to die, but only because I'm not sure people will like how they get saved.

(If anybody really wants to know how the plan is going so far, I can PM it to them).
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Old 05-18-2012, 12:56 PM
Devoid Devoid is a male United States Devoid is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

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Originally Posted by Mister Blak View Post
-Didn't the Them return Romani on he second day with all knowledge of the Them gone?
Not that I know of... I remember going to Cremia the next day and her mourning for Romani.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Blak View Post
-Didn't Anju wait in Clock own until the end for Kafei (who is currently getting the ♣♣♣♣ kicked out of him by Majora), and would ultimately die right next to the moon's impact point?
No, actually. If it wasn't for link retrieving the Pendant of Memories from Kafie, Anju would've fled with her grandmother. I'm sure you can find away to interrupt them escaping, though. Maybe, HMS stops them just before they leave or something...
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Old 05-22-2012, 07:50 AM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Zora Cape.


Waves. There were always waves. A thousand thousand of them must have passed since she had been sat here, and a thousand thousand more could feel free to pass. Lulu would not be moving- not for any force in this earth, especially not time.

He would be back, she knew it.

When Evan emerged from the cave, he was unsure of what to do. Lulu had been sat there for three days straight- the only break she had taken was to drink from the sea occasionally, before resuming her watch. She was being torn apart, he knew that- her eggs had been taken from her, and now so had her… friend. Friend was the best word Evan was prepared to use.

Eventually, Lulu decided what he should do for him. “He’ll be back, you know.” She said, not turning her head. “He wouldn’t let me down.”

“I’m sure he hasn’t.” Evan shrugged. “He’s probably just finding a cave to hide in until the impact has finished, like you should be. Come tomorrow, he’ll be swimming back as fast as he can, his arms full of your eggs.”

“Our eggs. Mine and Mikau’s. They’re as much his as they are mine.”

Evan sighed. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

Lulu finally turned around. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped, fins bristling with rage.

Evan held his hands up defensively. “I only meant that you always seemed close. It also explains why you’re so attached to the eggs. I mean, if they were a standard cycle set, you wouldn’t really care, yeah?”

She turned back to the ocean, saying nothing.

“Lulu, if you’d just told us… We’d all have gone. Those are your children. Why didn’t you…”

Her voice was barely more than a whisper. “I… I didn’t want you to think less of me. Call me a… a joygirl or whatever.”

Evan was shocked. “We’d never do that! How can you even…” he tailed off. “Anyway. We need to hide. The tunnels are deep enough. We’ll be safe down there.”

Lulu shook her head. “I’m waiting for him.”

Evan considered insisting, but thought better of it. He turned and made to leave. “I won’t drag you, Lulu.”

Inside the halls, the rest of the band were waiting for him. They were the only Zoras left- the others had already left for the caves. They were anxious to know what had happened with Lulu, and it showed on their faces.

“Well?” asked Toto, their rotund manager.

Evan shrugged. “She’s not budging. If we want her to move, we’ll have to drag her.”

“Dude, there aint any time for that.” Japas sighed. “There’s barely time left for US to get to the caves.”

Tijo nodded in agreement. “She’s a dead fish, dude. She’s bit the hook, and destiny’s tugging her up.”

“Destiny’s tugging us all up.” Evan collapsed onto a coral outcrop, and buried his head in his hands.

“How so, dude?” Tijo asked.

Evan waved his hand in the general direction of his manager. “Toto?”

Toto sighed. “I’m sorry, boys, but the caves aren’t anywhere near deep enough. The people hiding there are as dead as Lulu. And, let me check…” he pulled out a fob watch. It was three minutes to midnight. “…yes, and as dead as us.”

Tijo bit his lip. “Time for one last song?”

Japas nodded. “The Ballad of the Goddesses.”

They all agreed. “The Ballad of the Goddesses.”

And so, in its final moments, the Zora halls rang to the sound of one of the oldest songs of all time.

And then the laughter started.
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Old 06-09-2012, 02:51 PM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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Re: The Fate Of AT Termina (short story)

Decided after I'd posted it that his chapter didn't really fit, so it's getting relegated to being a 'past' chapter in Destruction Tide. Anyone who wants to know why Romani isn't an alien-brainwashed vegetable will have to wait and see, I'm afraid.
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Last Edited by Blak; 06-10-2012 at 10:32 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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