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Old 03-03-2012, 03:27 PM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
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Spirit Blades

Authors Note: I have spent ages planning this and am still writing it, so it may take me a while to update. I will try to make it once a week, usually a monday, but dont be upset if it takes longer.

Enjoy.


Spirit Blades

Prologue

The captain watched as the town burned and he smiled. The flames reached high into the sky billowing smoke into the atmosphere. The flames of the ruined town acted as a beacon, showing all the price of disobedience. It was the third town to have fallen like this, and many more would follow unless they surrendered to him. He will find the seven sacred blades, even if he had to tear down every building in the world to find them. He watched as the flames danced before him, writhing like the people had in their final moments. Their pain was delightful while it lasted, their screams had filled his ears.

He was joined by a second man who stood a good foot taller than him. This man’s skin was dark, almost like the night, and a black hooded cloak hid almost everything else about him. He raised a skeletal hand, a scythe appearing in it. The weapon was a beast, it stood seven foot tall and had a four foot curved blade. The captain reminded himself not to get into a fight with the other man, he had seen that thing slice a boulder in two with just one swing. He could only imagine what it would do to a man.

“I take it they were not helpful either?” The mans voice was dry and raspy, almost like he had a wound on his throat. The captain knew his question was rhetorical, but he answered anyway.

“No. None of them would even answer when I asked about the spirit blades.” The spirit blades were ancient artefacts from a time of eternal war. They were considered to be the most sacred things ever to be made. Each one was said to have enough power to level an entire city on it‘s own, together they were capable of bringing the entire world to it’s knees. He would find them all, he would have that power. Locating the first six of them were going to be easy. He only had to search the many lands for them. The seventh was much harder. The final blade was rumoured to be hidden in a temple right in the centre of the earth itself. To reach it one would need to have the other six blades, and overcome the many trials that awaited those who dared to enter the ancient place.

The sun began to dip below the horizon, casting long shadows everywhere. The flames from the burning town had begun to die out as the wood that fuelled it was collapsing under it’s own weight. There were no survivors from this battle, like the two before. Each town had been razed to the ground, it’s people screaming as they died. As much as he enjoyed the thrill of battle, and the sound of his foes anguish, it was beginning to bore him. When would someone just tell him what he wanted to know.

“If you keep on doing this then there will be no one left to tell you.” The cloaked man’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Then what will you do?” The captain didn’t answer. Nothing he said would change the fact the cloaked figure was right. He had to control his bloodlust and anger. Just thinking about the peoples defiance made his blood begin to boil.

With a cry of anger he struck the ground with his sword leaving a huge gash in the earth before him. If the cloaked man’s weapon was a beast then the captain’s was a beauty. The ornately decorated hilt was covered in gold and precious gemstones of all shapes and colours. The blade itself was silver, gleaming in the remaining sunlight, and measured five foot in length. Seven recesses had been made in the base of the blade, four one side and three on the other, waiting for the right powers to fill them.

The captain stared at the brown earth, pondering what he should do next. Many more towns were in this region, and he would visit each one until he found exactly what he was looking for. When he had done that he would have vengeance. Vengeance for what the people had done to him, vengeance for every time they had defied him. He would show them. He would be the most powerful being the world had ever known. He spun on his heels giving the command to move out. They left, leaving no traces that they had ever been there just as the last of the embers spluttered and died.
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My BA character: Kaizar
Last Edited by shadow226; 03-03-2012 at 03:29 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
1 person liked this post: Ningan the Lone Ninja
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Old 03-07-2012, 09:53 AM
Jaime Lannister Sweden Jaime Lannister is online now
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Re: Spirit Blades

Heya. I enjoyed reading this. It looks as though it's gonna turn out to be some sort of dark fantasy adventure, which is something right down my alley.

Just a few errors I noted:
Quote:
Their pain was delightful while it lasted, their screams had filled his ears.
Here, and in a few other places, I would use a semicolon rather than a comma.
Quote:
The mans voice was dry and raspy
You should have an apostrophe. "The man's voice."


But other than a few minor things like that, I enjoyed reading this. I'm definitely looking forward to see where you go with this.
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Old 03-07-2012, 12:57 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

This sounds good so far. Your writing is fine and a pleasure to read. I wonder what's going to happen next...
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Old 03-09-2012, 05:45 AM
ZerudaHime ZerudaHime is a female Philippines ZerudaHime is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Great job! I hope you will write more!
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Old 03-12-2012, 03:50 AM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Author's note: Thank you all for your comments. They are much appreciated. As promised here is the next part of the story


Chapter 1


Kaizar flung the door open and stormed through the house up the stairs to his bedroom, walking straight past the old man sat in the chair. He slammed his door shut and slumped down onto his bed. It wasn’t long before he heard his name being called.

“Kaizar!” The old man’s voice was deep but gentle. “Could you come down here please?” The young man slowly began to trudge down the stairs, knowing exactly what he was going to be told. It was always the same. Someone would say he had done something wrong, and he would get into trouble for it. It didn’t matter that often he had done whatever he was accused of. Not to him anyway. The old man was stood at the bottom of the stairs, his kind worn face frowning. His white hair nothing more that wisps now. They clung to his head like clouds to the sky. His nose was short and stubby, and his face crisscrossed with scars.

“Kyanu I…” Kaizar started but the old man cut him off.

“Kaizar. I’m not going to listen to your excuses this time.” He paused “This is the fifth time in the last three days and I’m tired of listening to excuse after excuse.”

“But he asked for it!”

“And what did he do exactly.” Kaizar remained silent. “If you do not tell me then I cannot help.” Kaizar didn’t answer. How could he tell Kyanu that the boy had insulted him. Especially when he was always so well behaved around him.

“I cannot play these games anymore.” Kyanu sighed, shaking his head “Perhaps I should treat you like the child you seem to believe you are.”

“Stop being like that!” Kaizar shouted, anger and frustration beginning to boil over. “Stop pretending you care!”

“I’m not pretending.” Kyanu’s voice raised a little as his irritation began to grow. “Now I know I’m not your real father…”

“Then stop trying to be!” Kaizar regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. “Kyanu I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” The front door of the house slammed as the old man left, leaving him alone. Kaizar slumped where he was on the stairs, his body shaking as he sobbed. Kyanu had taken the boy in when he was little, when he had no one else. Kyanu cared about him, but all Kaizar ever did was vent his anger at him.

Kyanu had never reacted the way Kaizar did, always walking away before it got that far. Sometimes he would be gone for a few minutes, sometimes for hours. But no matter how badly Kaizar treated him Kyanu always came back, always cared. The young man often wondered why he came back. Kaizar was sure if he was in that situation himself he would have walked away a long time ago. He attempted to get his sobbing under control, calming himself down. He slowly rose from his place on the steps and walked out of the door, wiping the tears from his face. He had to find Kyanu and apologise, the man didn’t deserve the onslaught of words Kaizar threw at him each day. He never did.

The sun shone, lighting the beautiful town. The wooden buildings standing proud and tall, a statement of how prosperous that the townspeople had become in recent times. Carts trundled through the streets carrying goods to and from the many shops. Kaizar walked down the street looking for any sign of where his carer had gone.

Eventually he saw the white wispy hair, heading up a nearby hill. A gentle breeze brushed past him, ruffling his hair. The old man’s steps were much longer than Kaizar’s, meaning he was on the top of the hill long before the young man could catch up. When he finally reached the top of the hill, Kyanu was sitting down, looking out over the grassy land. Green fields stretched as far as the eye could see, dotted with the little towns that had sprung up over the years. Kaizar approached as quietly as he could, making sure he was near the man before he spoke.

“Kyanu I’m sorry.” His voice wavered betraying how he felt “I didn’t mean to say it.” The old man didn’t even turn his head to look at him. “I understand if you want me to go.” Again he was greeted with silence. Kaizar turned to leave and Kyanu finally spoke

“You know that isn’t what I want.” The man’s voice was calm once more “I just want you to behave as a man your age should. Not like a thug.” Kaizar nodded as he turned to look at him.

“You can do whatever you want.” He said trying desperately not to start sobbing again “You can ground me, cancel my sword practice, anything. I’ll accept it.” He hung his head “I deserve it.”

“Yes, you do.” Kyanu motioned for the young man to sit next to him which he did silently “As much as what you said hurt me, I cannot deny that it is true. I am not your biological father. But it does not mean I do not care about you. Or that I don’t love you.” He stared back out at the grassy landscape. “I will be cancelling your sword practice for the week.” Kaizar’s head hung lower than before. Even though he had agreed that could happen it was the most exciting thing in his day.

“I understand.” He whispered.

“I will cancel it,” Kyanu continued “because you are coming on a trip with me.” Kaizar’s head raised from its sunken position to look at the old man in confusion. “I have been summoned to the castle, and have decided it is time to take you with me.”

“Really!?” Kaizar couldn’t believe his ears. Kyanu often spoke about when he used to live in the castle and the young man had always wanted to go. Even gone as far as to beg him many times over they years.

“You are a young man of twenty now. If I don‘t start treating you as the adult you should be now, then I never will.” He rose from his seated position and started to walk back down the hill. “You had better come too. We have a lot to prepare because we leave in the morning.” Kaizar jumped to his feet at almost ran down the hill. Kyanu truly was a wonderful man, and Kaizar would never figure out why he always forgave him. But he would prove he was worthy of his forgiveness this time. No matter what it took.


* * *


The sun was only just rising in the sky when Kaizar awoke the following morning, it’s rays casting long shadows across the landscape. He pulled his grey top over his head and his trousers over his legs. His leather shoes were slipped over his feet and he made his way quietly downstairs. He went to the cupboard by the door and opened it, the door creaking slightly as it opened making Kaizar wince. After a few moments, when he heard no noise from upstairs, he removed his swords from their hooks, closed the cupboard doors, and took them outside. He strapped the scabbards to his back so a hilt was protruding over each shoulder and stood as of he was about to enter into combat.

He drew the blades, the metal rasping against the old lining. He stood one sword in each hand, the wooden hilts, wrapped in a grey material, were hidden by his hands. The blades were thin plain steel and two foot in length. They glinted brightly in the early light. He swung one of them experimentally, the blade whistled through the air. He brought it back and launched into a flurry of attacks against imaginary enemies. He stabbed one through the chest, before spinning around and slicing another one in two. He bounded up the street blocking and slashing all around him, countless invisible foes falling to his blades. He stopped for a moment and looked back at the empty street. How he would miss this place while he was gone, the hustle and bustle, the friendly faces, even those he normally avoided like the plague.

The front door of his house opened and Kyanu stepped out, closing it behind him. The old man was wearing his armour, the old metal now grey and dull after many years of use. The leather joining the metal sheets together had almost worn through in many places but the knight refused to have it changed. That suit had saved his life many times over the years and he had grown quite fond of it. The old man’s sword hilt stuck out over his left shoulder. A black snakehead, it’s tongue extended, tasting the air. Sometimes Kiazar thought the thing was actually alive, even though it was made from the same dead metal that his own swords were made of. How it had become black was anyone’s guess, but it didn’t matter. That was how Kaizar had always known it. The young man rushed back towards the house, his feet barely touching the ground.

Kyanu was smiling, his lips parted showing his almost toothless mouth. It felt great to see Kaizar like this. He was almost as excited as the day his sword training began. It had taken him almost a whole week to come down to earth after that.

“Ready to go?” the old man’s voice almost shook as he tried not to laugh “Or do you want some more sword practice first?”

“No. I’m ready to go now if you want!” Kaizar could not contain his excitement as he replaced his swords onto his back. He wanted to run down the main street screaming with delight, but contented himself to walk beside Kyanu as he began the two day long journey to the castle in the middle of the realm. They soon reached the base of the hill and Kaizar could not hold back any longer. He raced up the hill, laughing as he went. This had to be the best day of his life!

The young man soon came to the top of the hill and stopped dead. The scene unfolding in front of him took his breath away. The sun was now above the horizon, it’s rays stretching out across the land. The grassy fields glinting with dew in the early morning light. The towns in the distance dark silhouettes against the orange furnace of the sun. Kaizar had never been out of town before, not for more than a couple of hours anyway, and this beat anything he had seen before. Kyanu came and stood next to him

“Have you seen anything more beautiful?” He asked

“No.” Kaizar breathed. Now he knew why this was Kyanu’s favourite spot to sit and think. The beauty was incredible. Nothing else could even compare to what he saw now.

“I used to come out here a lot when I first brought you home.” He said “I used to sit and think about how I could possibly look after you, and who you would be better off with.” He paused a second before continuing. “But I could never find anyone willing to take on a terror like you. So you I was stuck with you.” The pair laughed, the sound echoing through the empty plains. They hadn’t laughed together in a long time. “Come on. We had better be going.” The two of them began to walk down the hill, and on towards the next town.

The grass was wet, the sun not yet high enough to dry the morning dew, and swished gently as the pair walked. Small creatures fled long before they came near, and even larger creatures seemed to be keeping out of their way, leaving Kaizar to admire the beauty of the land. The flowers were amazing, pink’s and blue’s hugged the sides of the roads, stretching for miles, blanketing a small section of land in a carpet of colour. The pair walked in silence for a few miles, neither one daring to break the tranquillity of the silence.

“Do you see that town over there?” Kyanu pointed to a dark shape on the horizon, the sun still rising behind it. “We need to reach that town by nightfall.” It seemed a long way off, but every step brought them closer. Closer to their goal. Closer to the rest of this wonderful world that Kaizar was going to explore, even if he had to leave Kyanu while he did so. He looked at the old man as they walked, each step he took was filled with such purpose. He never faltered, never said he was too old for this. Kaizar was sure that even if Kyanu was on his death bed he would walk to the ends of the earth with the same purpose that he walked with now, and that was what he loved so much about him. He never gave up on anything, even when the odds were stacked against him.

The sun was now getting high into the sky, the land flooded with it’s light. The grass was no longer damp, the flowers swayed in a gentle breeze, and the trees that were now nearby whispered amongst themselves, talking about the two travellers. Birds squawked, and other creatures squeaked. Their noises finally signifying that morning had arrived. As noisy as it was however it seemed very peaceful as Kaizar walked, the natural noises of the world barely registering in his mind.

Kyanu was a few steps ahead of Kaizar, keeping a watchful eye on the road ahead. Too many people had been caught out by wild animals, or thieves along the road between towns recently. While ha didn’t want to stop Kaizar enjoying the new sights and sounds he was experiencing, they had to be ready for anything. His armour was now glinting in the light, and he clanked as he walked. Another unfortunate thing that happened because his suit was old. His gauntlet covered hands swung by his sides as he marched, the leather wrinkled every time he flexed, ensuring he wouldn’t seize up in a fight.

Even with all this preparation the pair passed through the land unnoticed, and the morning went by uneventfully. They stopped for something to eat at a fork in the road. Kaizar sat on a rock by the side of dirt track while Kyanu remained standing. He found it very hard to sit down when wearing his armour, but didn’t dare take it off. He handed a bag to the young man and Kaizar took out the bread and cheese, passing some of it to his travel companion.

“So what do you think of the outside world so far?” The knight asked

“I think it’s wonderful.” Kaizar replied between pieces of bread.

“Is it what you thought?”

“Oh it’s so much better. The colours, the sounds. They’re so amazing!” Kyanu laughed.

“You sound just like I did on my first time out of the academy.” His laughter slowly subsided “Those were good days.” They stayed in silence for a few moments, eating. Kaizar took a long draught from his water canteen and addressed the old man

“Kyanu. I was wondering if you could….” He trailed off.

“If I could what?”

“Nothing.” Kaizar shook his head “It doesn’t matter anyway.” He rose to his feet and handed the remaining food to Kyanu, who packed it away in a bag he now had hanging off of his belt. The pair then continued their journey, silence filling the air.

* * *
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My BA character: Kaizar
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Old 03-12-2012, 03:52 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Your story is going well. I enjoyed this new addition. Keep it up! The best part is when Kaizar and Kyanu go out into the wide world.
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Old 03-16-2012, 05:50 PM
ZerudaHime ZerudaHime is a female Philippines ZerudaHime is offline
Underneath the walnut tree, where you said you'd wait for me. I waited forever.
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Re: Spirit Blades

Great job as always! Such a great character!
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Old 03-20-2012, 05:26 PM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Sorry about the later post but I have been so busy this last week. Any way here is the next part of the story.

The rest of the afternoon passed like the morning. Uneventful, and full of idle chatter. The sun was just dipping low enough in the sky to cause the strange, eerie time called the twilight hour. The desired was just in the distance, a black silhouette against the setting sun and soon they were within the confines of it’s streets. The tall buildings looked a little run down and patchy. Walls were slanted and window frames were off kilter and without glass. Kaizar was sure they had walked down the same street three or four times before they reached the intended destination. This building stood two floors higher from the rest and looked in slightly better condition. The window frames looked straight, and even had glass in them. The door was a few inches taller than the young man and was decorated with some simple brass trimmings in the corners. The door knocker was so big two thirds of it remained visible as Kyanu used it to knock.

“What do you want?” A voice called from the other side

“A room to stay the night if there is one spare.” The door opened and a man wearing a simple set of overalls looked out. A smile spread itself across his face.

“Kyanu!” He beamed “What a pleasure it is to see you again!” The pair hugged briefly before the old man introduced his companion.

“This is Kaizar.” He gestured with his right hand “And this happens to be the first time he has been out of Fianna, so please can we make this a good experience for him.”

“Certainly. Your usual room is free.” He turned and led them down a series of long twisting corridors and before long Kaizar had lost track of where they were going. Finally they stopped in front of a door with a small metal trim running around the outer edge. Two panels were indented with a small flourish of flowers carved onto it. Kyanu opened the door and beckoned Kaizar inside. The young man stepped through the door and it was closed gently behind him. The room was quite simple and largely undecorated. The wooden walls looked solid enough and the uneven floor dipped and bowed with age. The bed frame was crooked and appeared to be only half made. The mattress that sat on top of it was thin and lumpy, barely covered by the sheet that lay atop it. The cupboard next to the bed was not much better. The whole thing slanted to the left and wobbled precariously as Kaizar touched it. He was sure the thing would collapse if someone shut the door a little too hard. He glanced over the other side of the room and saw that Kyanu’s things weren’t any better. The old man had already removed his armoured suit and sat himself on the bed. He looked at Kaizar for a few moments before speaking.

“That was Jethro.” He paused “He has been a friend of mine for many years and has always had a room for me when I need it. So the last thing I want is to upset him. So while we are here please try to curb your temper.”

“Okay!” Kaizar said indignantly “I’m not that bad!” One look from Kyanu said it all. “Okay. Maybe I am. But I will try I promise.”

“You had better.” Kyanu’s tone of voice told the young man he could not step out of line. Luckily it had softened a bit for the next sentence “Come on, we need to eat. Get your swords off and put them in the cupboard and we can go.” Kaizar swung the twin blades off his back and placed them carefully in the wooden frame. Shutting the door he turned to face his carer and the pair of them headed out of the room and down to the restaurant on the ground floor of the inn.

The pair returned a couple of hours later having eaten and laid themselves out across the beds, staring at the ceiling. There was silence for a few minutes before Kaizar finally spoke.

“Kyanu?” The older man turned his head to face him “Could you…” Kaizar took a deep breath “Could you tell me about my old home? You know, the one that was destroyed?” Kyanu sighed. He had dreaded this question from the day he brought the young man home.

“I’m afraid there is not much that I know about it.” Kyanu spoke slowly, thinking about how to word what he was about to say. “Turo was a small town on the edge of Ordenia, meaning it had good trade links with other lands that bordered our own. It rapidly grew with it’s wealth and flourished as a market town. Many strange and exotic items could be purchased there, and the many different people who stopped there made it exciting to visit whatever time of year you went.

“I used to visit the town often and would stay for a few days at a time. The many different cultures there made it a fascinating place to be and I made many friends in that town. One day I was summoned to the castle that sits in the centre of this beautiful land along with about twenty other knights. The king told us that the town was under attack, and we were being sent to help them. A second larger force would follow, but we had to get there as soon as possible. We left immediately and didn’t stop once to rest or eat. If we couldn’t do it in the saddle it didn’t happen.

“However by the time we arrived it was too late. The town was burning with no sign the attackers had ever been there. The people who were not dead were dying and beyond help. They all spoke of a dark force that had ripped through the town, destroying everything in it’s path. Many dark creatures were born of this force and it had seemed nothing could stop them. But as suddenly as they had arrived they had gone, leaving no trace of themselves.

“We must have searched for hours, looking for anyone who could be saved, but found no one. After an age I heard a voice coming from a pile of rubble. As I pulled it away I found your mother. She looked at me, her life fading from her eyes. She begged me to take you away from there, to make sure you were safe. Somehow you had managed to avoid the same fate as the rest of the town, even as far as a wooden building support stopping the bricks from tumbling on top of you.

“Just as your mother’s life drifted away I promised that I would look after you. I would take personal responsibility for making sure you were safe. I took your hand and guided you out of the ruins. Everyone was amazed at how you could have survived when a town couldn’t. No matter how much we thought about it none of us could figure it out.

“A few days later, after the flames had all gone, we went home. Once back at the castle I told the king that I was leaving the order to look after you and was only to be summoned if it was an emergency. After that I took you to Fianna.” He paused, taking a breath before continuing “And that is all I know.”

“Thank you.” Kaizar whispered. He had always wondered about that town and what had happened to it. Now he knew. His mind began to wander and he thought about why Kyanu had been called this time. If it was only in emergencies then what was happening for him to be summoned so quickly. The young man didn’t have long to think about it because he was soon sound asleep.

* * *
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My BA character: Kaizar
Last Edited by shadow226; 03-21-2012 at 05:24 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 03-21-2012, 01:16 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Aha! It becomes more interesting! So Kaizar is from the town that we saw destroyed in your prologue.

Quote:
This building stood two floors higher from the rest and looked in slightly better condition. The window frames looked straight, and even had glass in them. The door stood a few inches taller...
You used stood twice in a small area, which is redundant. It's a minor point, but you might consider reworking it slightly.

Quote:
“Certainly. You’re usual room is free.”
This is an easy mistake to make. You have the contraction 'you're' instead of 'your.'


Keep writing!
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Old 03-21-2012, 05:26 PM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Thanks for your comment Psued. They are very much apreciated. The last post has been edited according to your suggestions.
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Old 03-26-2012, 11:43 AM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Authors note: I would just like to take the oppertunity to thank my readers and invite you all to give some constructive critism on my work. If you don't want to then fine, but it would be appreciated. Also I will be away for about a week and a half, so updates may take a while. I will try to do them but may not be able to. However I will update as soon as I get back. So back to the story.

It was still dark outside when Kyanu woke. He got up from his bed and began to prepare for the long journey ahead that day. He had to reach the castle market town before night fell once more or he would have no chance of being at the castle the following morning. Kaizar remained asleep as he worked, a slight snore coming from the young man‘s throat. It wouldn’t be long before the old man had to wake him. He removed his armour from the cupboard where he had placed it the night before carefully placing it on the floor he then reached for his sword. The golden snake head glared at him as he took hold of it’s tongue and pulled it out of the scabbard. The shiny body of the metal serpent curved and writhed from the hilt to tip. The blade remained just as sharp as the day he made it and Kyanu had never been seen without it since. His skill with this sword were immense; even his old swords master couldn’t best him in a fight. The young one began to stir as Kyanu replaced his faithful sword back into it’s leather home.

“Come on Kaizar.” He said gently “It’s time to get up and go.”

“But it’s still dark.” The muffled voice replied

“I know. But I have to reach the market town by tonight.” He sat down at the end of the young man’s bed “I know it was a long journey yesterday. But you did really well, especially since that was your first time. But the journey today is just as long.” He patted the boys legs before standing up again. Kaizar yawned and stretched before throwing the covers off and rising from his own bed. The old knight was slowly putting the worn out suit on and Kaizar grimaced. Another day of clanking lay ahead of them. The young man took his own swords out of the cupboard, along with the clothes he had brought with him. Kaizar pulled the greyish top over his head and stuffed his legs into his trousers. He sat on the bed for a few moments trying to clear the fog of sleep from his mind.

It wasn’t long before Kaizar’s two swords were on his back and he was ready to go. Both he and Kyanu quietly made their way down the corridors. Or at least Kaizar did anyway. Kyanu clanked with every step and the young boy was sure someone would wake up. Miraculously, however, no one did wake up as the pair made their way out of the building into the open air. A cool breeze blew through the town, blowing the last of the fog from Kaizar’s head instantly. The old town now felt deserted as they walked down the streets, not a soul was in sight. The building looked a little creepy in the dim light, almost like living things that would hurt you if you stopped looking at them for a second.

Soon they were out of the town and walking across the vast field that made up most of the landscape in Ordenia, the shadow region. As the sun began to rise Kaizar could just make out the castle in the distance. It looked so far away that he thought it was almost impossible to reach it in one day, but Kyanu was going to try. His clanking had picked up in pace as he walked with the same purpose as he had the day before. Kaizar really admired the older man. He had given up his way of life to look after him, and never abandoned him. Even when he was at his worst Kyanu had stuck with him. He hoped one day he could prove to Kyanu that he deserved that love. That he had become a responsible young man.

The sun rose higher into the sky, illuminating the beautiful land once again. The grass looked even greener than the day before and the many colours of the flowers looked brighter then ever. The morning dew glinted on the grass as the rising light sought to banish the shadows for another day. Silence reigned as the pair walked, aside from the constant clanking of Kyanu’s armoured suit. The young man’s legs ached and his feet screamed at him. All the walking he had done the day before had caught up with him and his body was rebelling. He managed to ignore the pain as he walked, choosing to take in the scenery instead. The birds sung loudly in the trees, and the other creatures begun leaving their sleeping places to begin the day anew.

An uneventful morning was only interrupted by a short break for Kaizar to rest his legs. As the afternoon began to drag on once more Kaizar’s attention began to wander. He looked at the trees and bushes that lined the road he now walked down. He had to do something to keep Kyanu’s constant clanking from driving him insane. A group of bushes ahead of him had begun to shake slightly and Kaizar watched them intrigued. At least while he was looking at them the clanking didn’t seem so bad. As he approached the leaves shaking intensified and Kaizar could even hear them rustling above the metallic sounds that followed them.

The pair walked for the entire afternoon with Kaizar asking about the castle, and the town that surrounded it. He watched as the silhouette of the castle got bigger and bigger with every mile they walked. The young man could feel himself begin to get excited once more. He had heard many tales of this town and it’s grandeur while he had journeyed with Kyanu. Now he was finally going to find out if those tales were true for himself.

The sun had begun to dip low in the sky as the knight and his companion approached the drawbridge that led into the market town. Two guards wearing silver armour that shone brightly waited by it to prevent anyone suspicious from entering and causing trouble. He waited for the travellers to come close enough to hear him before he spoke.

“Halt!” He barked raising his hand “State your name and business.”

“My name is Kyanu.” The tired man spoke calmly, not wanting to cause any trouble now. “This is Kaizar.” He removed a piece of paper from one of the folds of his armour. “And this is our business.” The guard took the paper and looked at it for a few moments before handing it straight back.

“Thank you sir. You may pass through now.” he said

“Don’t you want to look at what’s written?” Kyanu inquired

“I am not permitted to.” The guard replied “For, you see, this is not the normal royal seal. This is the kings own personal seal. Whatever has been written was meant for you, and you alone. Now if you can please make your way across the drawbridge so we can close it for the night.”

“Yes. Of course.“ Kyanu strode out across the wooden platform, confused, with Kaizar following close behind. As they entered the town the drawbridge started closing behind them, sealing them in. Even though the suns light was fading the town was well lit by the many torches that lined every street. Many of the buildings were made from a white stone and stretched higher into the sky than any other building Kaizar had seen. He bounced down the street making sure he never lost sight of Kyanu. As safe as the place may seem Kaizar was sure if he got lost then trouble wouldn’t be far behind.

Kyanu made his way through the town as he knew exactly where he was headed. A brown building that stuck out like a sore thumb in a sea of white. It was two floors shorter than the others and the windows weren’t as decorated but the old knight didn’t care. It was the best place to stay in town plus not many people knew about it. Which only served to make it better in his opinion. He motioned for Kaizar to stand next to him and took hold of the big metal door knocker. It hit the door with a crash causing the old wooden construction to shake on it’s hinges. The door slowly opened and Kyanu was greeted with a smile.

“Kyanu!” The man exclaimed “I wasn’t expecting you again so soon!” This man was better dressed than the last innkeeper. He wore a blue waistcoat over a red shirt. The waistcoat was clean and had gold trim running along the edges. Bright brass buttons fastened the item of clothing and were embossed with a strange symbol that was almost invisible in this light. His trousers matched his waistcoat and his shoes were a polished black leather.

“Neither was I Art.” The old man replied “But I have been summoned to see the king once more.”

“Well, your usual room is free.” Art glanced at Kaizar “Unless you would like a different one so you can be in the same room?”

“What do you think Kaizar?” Kyanu asked “Do you want to share a room again?”

“No offence,” the young man said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck “but I want a different room tonight.”

“Certainly.” The innkeeper nodded “If you would like to follow…”

“Hang on a minute.” Kyanu interrupted raising a hand. He turned towards Kaizar “What do you mean by ‘no offence’?”

“Well, It’s kind a… What I mean is….” He took a slow breath “You snore.”

“I snore!” Kyanu exclaimed “Maybe you should have heard yourself last night!”

“Well at least I didn’t sound like a clap of thunder.” Art began laughing and Kyanu rounded on him

“What are you laughing at?” He snapped

“Nothing.” The innkeeper struggled to keep his mirth under control “Nothing at all. Now if you could follow me.” He led the pair across the main hall and down a series of corridors. “Your rooms are next door to each other.” Any hint of the laugh he had earlier was now gone from his voice. He stopped and indicated two doors next to each other. Kaizar entered his room and closed the door behind him. He already like this place more than the other one. The bed actually looked decent and there was wallpaper on the walls. A basic flowery pattern had been painted on it and the wooden cupboard next to the bed was decorated with a few strips of metal bent into curious shapes.

He slung his swords onto the floor at the end of the bed and jumped onto the fluffy looking mattress. The thing cushioned his fall and instantly moulded itself to his shape. The young man let out a contented sigh. He had a comfy bed, and no Kyanu to wake him up with all that snoring. No sooner had he settled than there was a knock on the door.

“Kaizar.” Kyanu called through the wooden block “I’m going to get something to eat. Did you want anything?”

“Yeah.” He answered “If you hang on a minute then I’ll come with you.” Kaizar jumped off the bed and slowly made his way out of the room. He followed Kyanu down to the main hall again and sat at a table. Kyanu made his way up to the bar to order while Kaizar looked around the room. A group of people in the corner wearing black cloaks took his attention. Their facial features were lost beneath the hoods they wore and the cloak managed to hide any other distinguishing feature about them. The longer he looked over in their direction the more the young man was convinced that those people were watching him.

Kyanu returned and placed a plate in front of Kaizar, the smell bringing him out of his reverie. He looked down at the meal before him. A slice of pork was accompanied by a few vegetables and three roasted potatoes. Cutlery sat next to the plate and Kaizar used them to cut a small amount of everything and put it into his mouth. The taste exploded in his mouth. The juice of the pork mixed with the potatoes, carrots and peas forming an experience of pure joy for the young man’s taste buds.

“Nice?” The old man asked as Kaizar shovelled the food into his mouth.

“Lovely.” He replied through a mouthful of food.. He wasn’t going to say anything but it even tasted better than what Kyanu cooked back home. It wasn’t long before his plate was clean and he begun to scrape the small bits of food and gravy into his mouth.

“Careful or you’ll be eating the pattern next.” Kyanu laughed. “I’ll go and pay for this and you stay right there.” He rose from his seat and walked back over to the bar. Kaizar glanced over at the corner again. The hooded figures were talking, hand gestures being made at various points in the conversation. One of them stood up and began making his way towards Kaizar. The young man began to panic. What was he going to do? The man stopped and Kaizar looked up. Kyanu was coming back over and Kaizar quickly rose form his seat. The pair walked back up to their rooms.

“Goodnight Kaizar.” Kyanu said “Sleep well.”

“You too.” Kaizar opened his door and sat down on his bed. He thought about the men in dark cloaks. Why had they been looking at him? Why did one try and come over? He wasn’t sure but Kaizar thought he had seen a pair of red eyes under that hood. He lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Tiredness began to cloud his mind and he struggled to stay awake and think. He was unaware that one of those men was stood outside his door as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *
__________________

Sig made by Snurtlicious

My BA character: Kaizar
Last Edited by shadow226; 04-11-2012 at 03:40 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 03-26-2012, 03:02 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
Light Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: The Twilight Realm
View Posts: 3,052
Re: Spirit Blades

Uh oh! It sounds like danger for Kaizar!
I really like the interaction between Kyanu and Kaizar. I enjoyed the parts about Kyanu's snoring and Kaizar cleaning his plate.

I hope I'm not too picky about these things that I noticed. Just some little goofs that I have to watch out for when I write, too.
Quote:
causing the old wooden construct to shake on it’s hinges.
I assume that this should be construction.
Quote:
This man was dressed better dressed than
Oops! You have two of the same word. I've done the same thing.
Quote:
Any hint of the laugh he had earlier were now gone from his voice.
The correct verb is was.
Quote:
...moulded itself t his shape.
You need an o next to your t.
Quote:
...the young mans taste buds
The apostrophe is missing in man's and you need a period at the end of the sentence.

Keep up the good work, but don't hurry yourself!
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  #13 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-11-2012, 03:43 PM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
All Hail Shadow!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Space Colony Ark
View Posts: 450
Re: Spirit Blades

Hey. Sorry for not posting recently but I have been away for a couple of weeks with no internet access. But I'm back now and to make up for a lack of updates here is an extra long update! Enjoy.

The captain waited impatiently, pacing up and down the small tent that he currently called home. It was getting dark and his messenger was meant to have returned already. After what seemed like an age the flap of his tent lifted up and the serpent like man entered. His head was covered in scales and his red eyes pierced everything his gaze fell upon. The captain shivered as it’s eyes swept over him. He didn’t like the serpent people much, but they made good scouts and messengers as they could make themselves almost invisible to the naked eye. The creature’s forked tongue flicked in and out, it’s tongue tasting the air.

“Greetingsssssss Captain.” It hissed, a noise that would terrify most men. “I bring an urgent messsssage for you.” the snake took one step forwards and the captain instantly took a step back. He had learnt the hard way to never let one of these creatures get close to you. If you did then they could just as easily turn on you, just the same as anyone else.

“Leave it on the table and get out.” The captain snapped. The lizard man bowed his head and left a piece of paper on the nearby table before turning and walking out of the tent. Just as the captain was about to retrieve it the cloaked man entered, not caring about what the he was doing.

“I see my snakes have left us a message.” He said picking up the small square of paper. He carefully unfolded it allowing the captain a brief glimpse of the man’s skeletal like hand. The skin was stretched so tightly over the bone that it almost appeared to rip with every movement that he made. In an instant the paper was placed back onto the table and his hand was hidden underneath the black cloak once more. The man turned sharply and left the tent in a hurry the cloak billowing behind him. Confused as to why he had left so quickly the captain approached the table and picked up the letter.

The cloaked man hurried after the three shadowy figures at the edge of the camp. It didn’t take him long to reach them and he began to speak before they could even acknowledge his presence.

“Are you sure it was him?” He barked at the first snake man

“Yesssssss.” Came the reply. “He had the sssssame dark aura that you have. It mussssst be him.” As infuriating as the elongated letters were the dark man needed to know all the details.

“Was he alone?”

“No.” The second replied “He hasssss another man with him.”

“An old man.” The third interjected. The cloaked one’s stare made the three snake men begin to cower in fear. They knew all too well what could happen if the master was angry. His eyes burned with fury and his mouth twisted in rage. How could this be happening? The spirits were not meant to awaken yet! He looked out over the landscape his hood briefly slipping from his head. Dark hair sat atop it, his tanned skin was tight on his skull. His eyes were an icy blue and his nose was short and pointed. As soon as the hood fallen he raised it again, only the snake beasts had seen anything. But that did not matter. They would never dare tell anyone what they saw. He reached out into the air, his scythe appearing in his hand and he began to lean heavily on it, using as a walking stick. After a while he turned to face his messenger again.

“No doubt the captain will send an attack force to Fianna.” He pointed at one of the three “You will travel with them. Whether the old man live or dies I do not care. I want the shadow spirit.” The scales on the creatures head rippled as he nodded.

“Yessssss masssster.” he hissed as quietly as he could. “Long may the prophet of darknesssss live and breath.” He saluted and skulked away, waiting to carry out his masters wishes. The time had come faster than anticipated. The prophets plans had to set in motion now if he was to achieve anything. His master would be awoken, and the spirits would fail; just as they had last time. The prophet’s cloak swirled in the breeze as he turned back to face the captains tent wondering how he would take the latest unfortunate news.

The captain looked at the table for a while after picking up the small piece of paper. The top was a light brown, inlaid with an intricate spiral design that comprised of three colours. White, black and red. The three colours had their own spiral which intersected each other at various points until they reached the centre. An image of a bird holding a shield lay at the centre of the table; joining the three spirals. The legs were carved into the shape of waterfalls as they cascaded down a mountain side. He had gotten that table in a conquest somewhere in the world; but couldn’t quite remember where.

He opened the paper with less care than the cloaked man had shown and read it’s contents. Largely it just confirmed what he already knew. The current positions of those who remained that knew what he wanted to know. The next part told him about how the castle market town was fortifying itself against an attack. He chuckled quietly to himself. It would do no good, no matter how strong the fortifications were. Nothing could stop him from achieving his goal now.

The paper slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor, the captain backing away. He stared in horror at the thing as it gently fluttered towards the floor and the last seven words burned themselves into his memory; the spirit of shadow had been found.


END OF CHAPTER 1


Chapter 2

It had been three days since they had arrived at the castle market town and Kaizar walked the streets for the sixteenth time trying to find something else to do. The bag of coins Kyanu had given him weighed his belt down and he was eager to get rid of some. After a while of walking aimlessly he found himself back at the inn that they were staying in. The brown building looked quiet and inviting so Kaizar ducked inside. He sat down on a seat in the corner and waited for the barman to come over.

“What would you like?” He asked “We have a choice of the finest ales and a wide variety of beverages to suit all tastes.”

“A fruit juice will do fine thank you.” Kaizar answered and the barkeep nodded. A short while later he returned with a glass of orange liquid and placed it gently on the table. The young man paid the bar tender and he quickly made his way back to his position behind the bar. Kaizar sat, sipped his juice and watched the people come and go from the place. He had no interest in what they were doing, or even where they were going, but he found it strangely fascinating to see the different kinds of people who would approach the bar.

After a while his view was blocked by a brown shirt as a man stood directly in front of him. Kaizar looked up at his face and didn’t even flinch from the glare that was now aimed directly at him. The man’s eyes almost burned with fury and his nostrils flared. His skin wrinkled as the man struggled to find words to say. Finally he spoke in a ruff gravely voice.

“You’re in my seat.” He barked and Kaizar turned his head t look at the back of the chair.

“Don’t see your name on it.” He took another sip of his drink and calmly placed it back on the table.

“I guess you’re not from around here.” the other man growled “So I’m going to give you one more chance to get out of that chair and go sit somewhere else.”

“But I was here first.” Kaizar said “Why don’t you go and find somewhere else to sit?”

“This is why.” The man pulled a small knife out of his belt and pointed it in Kaizar’s direction.

“If you do not put that away and find another seat right now then not only are you barred from this place, but I will call the authorities as well.” The bar man had stepped in.

“This does not concern you.” The man snapped

“You are in my inn.” the barkeep replied “So yes; it does concern me. Now find another seat or you are barred.”

“This isn’t over.” The man said gruffly before walking over to the other side of the room and sitting down. The bar man turned to face Kaizar a stern look on his face.

“I thought you were meant to behave yourself. Not pick a fight with the towns biggest bully.” he admonished the young man who just stared defiantly back at him.

“But I was here long before he was. And this chair doesn’t have his name on it.” The staring match continued for a few moments before Kaizar backed down. “Sorry.” He apologised.

“That’s okay. Just don’t do it again.” the bar man walked back to behind the bar and waited for more customers. Kaizar began to stare out window at the castle and he began to wonder what Kyanu was doing in that could take all day.

* * *
__________________

Sig made by Snurtlicious

My BA character: Kaizar
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  #14 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-11-2012, 03:43 PM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
All Hail Shadow!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Space Colony Ark
View Posts: 450
Re: Spirit Blades

Hey. Sorry for not posting recently but I have been away for a couple of weeks with no internet access. But I'm back now and to make up for a lack of updates here is an extra long update! Enjoy.

The captain waited impatiently, pacing up and down the small tent that he currently called home. It was getting dark and his messenger was meant to have returned already. After what seemed like an age the flap of his tent lifted up and the serpent like man entered. His head was covered in scales and his red eyes pierced everything his gaze fell upon. The captain shivered as it’s eyes swept over him. He didn’t like the serpent people much, but they made good scouts and messengers as they could make themselves almost invisible to the naked eye. The creature’s forked tongue flicked in and out, it’s tongue tasting the air.

“Greetingsssssss Captain.” It hissed, a noise that would terrify most men. “I bring an urgent messsssage for you.” the snake took one step forwards and the captain instantly took a step back. He had learnt the hard way to never let one of these creatures get close to you. If you did then they could just as easily turn on you, just the same as anyone else.

“Leave it on the table and get out.” The captain snapped. The lizard man bowed his head and left a piece of paper on the nearby table before turning and walking out of the tent. Just as the captain was about to retrieve it the cloaked man entered, not caring about what the he was doing.

“I see my snakes have left us a message.” He said picking up the small square of paper. He carefully unfolded it allowing the captain a brief glimpse of the man’s skeletal like hand. The skin was stretched so tightly over the bone that it almost appeared to rip with every movement that he made. In an instant the paper was placed back onto the table and his hand was hidden underneath the black cloak once more. The man turned sharply and left the tent in a hurry the cloak billowing behind him. Confused as to why he had left so quickly the captain approached the table and picked up the letter.

The cloaked man hurried after the three shadowy figures at the edge of the camp. It didn’t take him long to reach them and he began to speak before they could even acknowledge his presence.

“Are you sure it was him?” He barked at the first snake man

“Yesssssss.” Came the reply. “He had the sssssame dark aura that you have. It mussssst be him.” As infuriating as the elongated letters were the dark man needed to know all the details.

“Was he alone?”

“No.” The second replied “He hasssss another man with him.”

“An old man.” The third interjected. The cloaked one’s stare made the three snake men begin to cower in fear. They knew all too well what could happen if the master was angry. His eyes burned with fury and his mouth twisted in rage. How could this be happening? The spirits were not meant to awaken yet! He looked out over the landscape his hood briefly slipping from his head. Dark hair sat atop it, his tanned skin was tight on his skull. His eyes were an icy blue and his nose was short and pointed. As soon as the hood fallen he raised it again, only the snake beasts had seen anything. But that did not matter. They would never dare tell anyone what they saw. He reached out into the air, his scythe appearing in his hand and he began to lean heavily on it, using as a walking stick. After a while he turned to face his messenger again.

“No doubt the captain will send an attack force to Fianna.” He pointed at one of the three “You will travel with them. Whether the old man live or dies I do not care. I want the shadow spirit.” The scales on the creatures head rippled as he nodded.

“Yessssss masssster.” he hissed as quietly as he could. “Long may the prophet of darknesssss live and breathe.” He saluted and skulked away, waiting to carry out his masters wishes. The time had come faster than anticipated. The prophets plans had to set in motion now if he was to achieve anything. His master would be awoken, and the spirits would fail; just as they had last time. The prophet’s cloak swirled in the breeze as he turned back to face the captains tent wondering how he would take the latest unfortunate news.

The captain looked at the table for a while after picking up the small piece of paper. The top was a light brown, inlaid with an intricate spiral design that comprised of three colours. White, black and red. The three colours had their own spiral which intersected each other at various points until they reached the centre. An image of a bird holding a shield lay at the centre of the table; joining the three spirals. The legs were carved into the shape of waterfalls as they cascaded down a mountain side. He had gotten that table in a conquest somewhere in the world; but couldn’t quite remember where.

He opened the paper with less care than the cloaked man had shown and read it’s contents. Largely it just confirmed what he already knew. The current positions of those who remained that knew what he wanted to know. The next part told him about how the castle market town was fortifying itself against an attack. He chuckled quietly to himself. It would do no good, no matter how strong the fortifications were. Nothing could stop him from achieving his goal now.

The paper slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor, the captain backing away. He stared in horror at the thing as it gently fluttered towards the floor and the last seven words burned themselves into his memory; the spirit of shadow had been found.


END OF CHAPTER 1

Chapter 2

It had been three days since they had arrived at the castle market town and Kaizar walked the streets for the sixteenth time trying to find something else to do. The bag of coins Kyanu had given him weighed his belt down and he was eager to get rid of some. After a while of walking aimlessly he found himself back at the inn that they were staying in. The brown building looked quiet and inviting so Kaizar ducked inside. He sat down on a seat in the corner and waited for the barman to come over.

“What would you like?” He asked “We have a choice of the finest ales and a wide variety of beverages to suit all tastes.”

“A fruit juice will do fine thank you.” Kaizar answered and the barkeep nodded. A short while later he returned with a glass of orange liquid and placed it gently on the table. The young man paid the bar tender and he quickly made his way back to his position behind the bar. Kaizar sat, sipped his juice and watched the people come and go from the place. He had no interest in what they were doing, or even where they were going, but he found it strangely fascinating to see the different kinds of people who would approach the bar.

After a while his view was blocked by a brown shirt as a man stood directly in front of him. Kaizar looked up at his face and didn’t even flinch from the glare that was now aimed directly at him. The man’s eyes almost burned with fury and his nostrils flared. His skin wrinkled as the man struggled to find words to say. Finally he spoke in a ruff gravely voice.

“You’re in my seat.” He barked and Kaizar turned his head t look at the back of the chair.

“Don’t see your name on it.” He took another sip of his drink and calmly placed it back on the table.

“I guess you’re not from around here.” the other man growled “So I’m going to give you one more chance to get out of that chair and go sit somewhere else.”

“But I was here first.” Kaizar said “Why don’t you go and find somewhere else to sit?”

“This is why.” The man pulled a small knife out of his belt and pointed it in Kaizar’s direction.

“If you do not put that away and find another seat right now then not only are you barred from this place, but I will call the authorities as well.” The bar man had stepped in.

“This does not concern you.” The man snapped

“You are in my inn.” the barkeep replied “So yes; it does concern me. Now find another seat or you are barred.”

“This isn’t over.” The man said gruffly before walking over to the other side of the room and sitting down. The bar man turned to face Kaizar a stern look on his face.

“I thought you were meant to behave yourself. Not pick a fight with the towns biggest bully.” he admonished the young man who just stared defiantly back at him.

“But I was here long before he was. And this chair doesn’t have his name on it.” The staring match continued for a few moments before Kaizar backed down. “Sorry.” He apologised.

“That’s okay. Just don’t do it again.” the bar man walked back to behind the bar and waited for more customers. Kaizar began to stare out window at the castle and he began to wonder what Kyanu was doing in that could take all day.

* * *
__________________

Sig made by Snurtlicious

My BA character: Kaizar
Last Edited by shadow226; 04-16-2012 at 03:22 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-11-2012, 10:47 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
Light Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: The Twilight Realm
View Posts: 3,052
Re: Spirit Blades

Good job! The guy who read the note before the captain did sounds like a horrid character! I like Kaizar's attitude! “But I was here first.”

Just one little thing:
Quote:
“Long may the prophet of darknesssss live and breath.”
You need an e on the end of breath to make it breathe.

Good job!
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  #16 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-16-2012, 03:31 PM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
All Hail Shadow!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Space Colony Ark
View Posts: 450
Re: Spirit Blades

Kyanu sat in his chair listening to the king speak for the third day in a row. It was only what he had heard the day before, so his mind began to wander. He thought of Kaizar and how he was doing in such a strange town, and hoping the boy was staying out of trouble. The old man sighed, he knew the last thought was highly unlikely. Trouble seemed to follow that boy everywhere. The old man had lost count of the number of times he had to intervene to prevent harm coming to the lad. After a while his thoughts turned his home town of Fianna and the beautiful green fields that surrounded it. He wondered how long it would be before he could leave here and return to that wonderful place.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of scraping chairs and, to his surprise, he noticed that all the other knights were now leaving. Kyanu however had a few questions to ask the king before he went anywhere. It wasn’t long before any trace of shining metal had gone and the old knight was sat alone at the table looking at the floor.

“Kyanu.” The king sounded surprised “Did you want to see me?”

“Why am I here Lucien?” He said his gaze never rising from the floor. The king nodded to his guards positioned either side of the throne.

“You may leave us now.” He said. The two men bowed and left quietly as Lucien’s attention returned to the seated man before him. “Do you remember that day Kyanu? Fifty years ago when we strengthened the seal on that blade?”

“Like it was yesterday.” The knight replied

“Well,” the king continued “Out of the five that performed that ceremony only the two of us remain.” Kyanu’s gaze now rose from the floor and he stared at Lucien, taking in his appearance. The kings robes were a deep regal blue. The red trim was fluffy and the royal crest was stitched onto the left breast. His crown was golden and encrusted with jewels of every colour imaginable. A line of silver ran around the rim where the crown sat atop his head.

His boots were made of brown leather, with the same red trim at the top as his robes. The royal crest had been placed three times onto each boot once the toes and then on both sides. The kings face looked as old and worn as Kyanu’s his green eyes constantly looking tired. His nose jutted out just above his mouth and his skin was severely wrinkled. To make things worse his lips looked thin and dry and they threatened to crack every time he spoke.

“What happened to the others?” the knight asked

“No survivors Kyanu.” came the reply “No survivors.” Kyanu’s head sank. Those three had been his closest friends and he was devastated to find out they were dead. He rose suddenly from his seated position, almost making the chair topple over as he pushed it away.

“Then I must leave immediately.” He said “If what you say is true then Fianna is likely to be the next target.”

“But I need you here.” Lucien responded.

“I refuse to sit here idly while my home is in danger.” Kyanu snapped.

“Dark times are coming.” The king continued “Times that may even be darker than those we faced back then.” he paused for a moment “Your boy, Kaizar isn’t it?”

“What about him?” Kyanu asked suspiciously

“Is he here?”

“Yes.” Kyanu considered what to say next. “But he will come back home with me.”

“But we need him here. He needs to…”

“He will not stay here.” Kyanu interrupted “I will not allow him to be used in your stupid games!” The look on the kings face told Kyanu he had gotten that bit right. “You can use me as much as you like,” he jabbed a finger in the kings direction “but you leave my boy out of this.” He turned and marched out of the room, his armour clanking as he went. He would leave and defend his home and Kaizar was coming with him, whether the king liked it or not.

* * *
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My BA character: Kaizar
Last Edited by shadow226; 04-23-2012 at 10:43 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-16-2012, 04:37 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

And it gets more and more interesting!

Oh, by the way:
Quote:
...the sound of scrapping chairs...
You only need one p in the word. It does get confusing sometimes, I know.

Keep it up! I like reading it.
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:03 AM
shadow226 shadow226 is a male United Kingdom shadow226 is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Kaizar was surprised to see Kyanu storm in and march up to his room, usually it was the other way round, and Kaizar followed. He knocked on the door and waited for a reply before opening it. To his surprise he found the old man packing the few things he had brought with him and making preparations to leave.

“You need to pack too.” Kyanu said not looking up from his task “We need to leave as soon as possible.”

“Why?”

“I fear our home may be in trouble.” Kyanu finally looked up at the young man “I may even need your help.” Confused Kaizar closed the door and went into his own room. Kyanu wasn’t going to say much and it was pointless trying to ask for more information because he wouldn’t give any. He began to pack his things including the items he had bought over his time staying here which included an ocarina he had begun to play to pass the time. He strapped his swords onto his back and made his way outside. Kyanu was already stood there waiting and he turned to walk out of the building only pausing to settle the bill with the innkeeper.

It wasn’t long before the pair were out in the sun soaked land again. This time however Kaizar couldn’t enjoy the scenery because the pace which Kyanu had set was so fast the young man was having trouble keeping up with him. It wasn’t long before the sun began to dip below the horizon and they finally stopped to make camp for the night. While Kyanu made a makeshift tent out of the available materials Kaizar collected wood for a fire and soon the flames were reaching up into the darkened sky providing both warmth and light. As their dinner slowly cooked Kaizar took the opportunity to ask Kyanu some more questions.

“Why did we have to leave so quickly?” He pondered out loud and Kyanu sighed

“Three towns in this region have been completely and utterly destroyed. Just Like Turo was.” the old man paused “I have reasons to believe that Fianna will be next.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because of something that happened fifty years ago.” The quizzical look on Kaizar’s face told Kyanu that he wasn’t going to give up that easily. “Do you remember the legends about a sacred shadow blade?”

“Yeah.”

“Well it’s real.” Kyanu took a deep breath. “This blade has a seal placed upon it. A seal that only the true wielder can brake when it is strong. However it does weaken over time and needs extra strengthening. A small group of us, including the man who is now the king of this nation, were told about his seal and that it was getting dangerously weak. If left much longer then it would shatter completely. Out of that group only five of us volunteered to go and restore the seal, which we managed to do successfully. Now three of those people are dead, their hometowns nothing more than rubble.” The old knight paused “I was one of those people and now Fianna is in danger.” Kaizar sat in silence for a few moments allowing what Kyanu had said to sink in.

“So we have to defend our home?” He asked

“Yes.” came the reply. “Maybe even to our deaths.”

“That’s not happening.” Kaizar sat up defiantly “I’ll make sure you survive Kyanu, and you’ll make sure I do too right?”

“I will do everything in my power to ensure your life will continue Kaizar.” Even if mine does not. He left the last part unsaid. The young boy didn’t need to worry about that right now. Kyanu looked up at the stars that twinkled in the night sky and smiled. He had spent many hours sat under the stars in his youth and still liked to look up at them. They never ceased to make him marvel at their beauty and how they could keep on burning for the many thousands of years that they did. He had even heard many rumours of why the stars existed in the first place, though his favourite had to be that the stars were the spirits of dead warriors still looking down upon the world and protecting it.

The old man brought his gaze down to the boy sat on the grass beside him. Kaizar had been a lovely child, a little misguided at times, but still a lovely child. Kyanu was proud to have been the man to raise him and he was sure that Kaizar would go on to do many great things with his life. Perhaps he would even choose the noble life of a knight, just as he had many years ago. It wasn’t long before Kaizar began to yawn and he tried to stifle them behind his hand.

“You rest.” Kyanu spoke gently “I’ll watch over the camp for now.” Kaizar nodded, too tired to argue anything. The young man laid his head down and was soon asleep. Kyanu watched the boy for a while, his chest rising and falling with every breath. The old knight tried to savour every moment of everything while he tried to face up to the fact that tomorrow they would reach Fianna, and it would possibly be the last thing he did in life. Not that death scared him, he had seen too much for it to do that anymore. He was more worried about what would happen to Kaizar when he was gone. Would he continue to grow and become the man he should be, or would he revert right back and become a thug. Kyanu would never know, but he hoped it was the former that happened.

The old man turned his attention back to the dark night, taking solace in the peace that surrounded him. No matter what happened tomorrow he would save Fianna. His home would never fall while he watched over it. Kyanu laid back letting the darkness surround him like a blanket a feeling of happiness washing over him as he remembered the good times in his life. Even though he was meant to watch the camp the old man found it difficult to keep his eyes open and he soon found himself falling asleep; hypnotised by the sounds of the night.

* * *
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  #19 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-23-2012, 11:38 AM
Blak Blak is a male North Korea Blak is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Good. Really good. Nice to see that you're taking time to expand your characters' personas, rather than rushing headlong into the main plot.

If I had to make a criticism, I'd say that, mostly towards the beginning, you used the same words, or roup of words too often in too little time, although that's something that has gotten a lot better towards the end.

Quote:
The captain watched as the town burned and he smiled. The flames reached high into the sky billowing smoke into the atmosphere. The flames of the ruined town acted as a beacon, showing all the price of disobedience. It was the third town to have fallen like this, and many more would follow unless they surrendered to him. He will find the seven sacred blades, even if he had to tear down every building in the world to find them. He watched as the flames danced before him, writhing like the people had in their final moments. Their pain was delightful while it lasted, their screams had filled his ears.
Might I say that I've been following this story, unregistered, since the start, and it's one of the reasons I joined this forum. Nice work.
Last Edited by Blak; 04-23-2012 at 11:39 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-23-2012, 09:29 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: Spirit Blades

Ay, great work! I am very interested in these characters and the things that are happening to them. Five thumbs up!
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