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Old 02-17-2012, 01:03 AM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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A few free verse poems

I just realized that there is a writing board on ZU so I thought I'd share a few poems I wrote a while back. Constructive criticisms and general thoughts/reactions are appreciated and if anyone needs some kind of context or explanation, I'd be happy to oblige. Here goes.

Doubt
Shadows creep along the walls of my soul

They engulf the light that once shone through
I search for one last ray to guide me through the dark

I find my light, but I cannot follow
for while swallowed by shadow, the light is blinding

I once again return to my sad, silent space.

Shattered
The dusty mirror shows who I am
Cracked, crying and shackled up in the attic
I need no reflection to see who I am

The Snake (*note: one of my personal favorites)
It binds my body
I cannot move

It leeches my lungs
I cannot breathe

It wraps around my arms
I can't reach out

It swallows me whole
She walks on by

Starving
Starved for your touch
Filled with such feeling

Your eyes shine and hair shimmers
But memory has dulled the lustre of my love

Your touch has faded from my fingertips
Your scent is stolen away

I need your nourishment
I need you with me




So yeah. Feedback is appreciated. I have happy poems too if anyone wants. I suppose these just seemed to fit together.
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Old 02-20-2012, 08:42 PM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

I'm posting more now! These are happier =3. More in the mood i'm in at this point in my life. Once again, any/all feedback is appreciated.

Peace (this is also my attempt at rhyming, did it work out well?)

A stillness of the soul
Waters waters that won't waver
Every breath is one with the world
A feeling to always savor

And when waves wage war
With the edge of the shore
take a step on the surface of the sea
you'll find you don't drown in tranquility

Perspective
Has my life till now been seen through a blurry lens?
An out of focus movie that I was in the audience for?
I look around and see the same things in a clearer light
but my eyes haven't adjusted yet

I take it all in but it turns out to be too much
I flutter for the same sights I've always seen
like a kitten that never tires of its favorite toy
I'm just a new born finally ready to see the world

Fall
Find a light to share the soul with
Make it a love that overthrows life
Fall so far you hit your head on the ground
and keep falling far beyond that

Fall so far into the depths of the soul
that you never remember what the surface feels like
A bright enough light keeps the path in view
so don't be afraid to fall as far as your soul goes
Last Edited by Awesomecake; 02-23-2012 at 08:17 PM. Reason: typo Reply With Quote
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Old 02-21-2012, 09:59 PM
Jaime Lannister Swedish Empire Jaime Lannister is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

@OP: I really enjoyed these. They remind me somewhat of myself. Most of my poems have a rather quiet, somber tone to them. I also agree that The Snake is a pretty good poem. Girls tend to be a good subject for poems, eh?

Your latest post is pretty awesome too. I prefer to have some rhymes in my poem so it's more familiar to me. You're also doing a good job at not having the rhymes feel cheesy or out of place.

Looking forward to seeing more stuff from you. Keep at it.
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Old 02-25-2012, 12:28 AM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

First off, I would like to thank Gamzee for giving feedback and for the kind words! I find that I now that I have begun posting here, I think I'll have more motivation to write on a regular basis. I'll probably try to post like once or twice a week. Anywhoo I've got 3 more for today, 2 are ones that I wrote a while ago and the final one is from just two days ago. Enjoy.

Unknown Love

An unnamed warmth is in my arms
Her hair smells of sunflowers
She feels like a fireplace
yet I can't see her face

This fantasy is forever
and my heart is unfulfilled
an aura of emptiness
replaces the decadence

Nothing smells as sweet
Nothing feels as fine
as the girl without a face.

Paradise
Paradise personified is all that fills my mind
Sunset on the ocean is in your voiceís aura
Iíll always be lost inside your aroma
Let me never find my way out of your eyes

May I forever forget the rest of the world
Iíll never need anything but paradise
no more midnight moons or sunny skies
Because paradise is you

Clouds
Can something as curious as a cloud be clearly communicated in the confines of common language?
They can fit to any form
conform to none
And are transformed by the imagination

Once you've seen one wall, you've seen them all
but lay your eyes on a cloud and you must watch it forever to see all the forms that its capable of creating.

The epitome of freedom
Floating above
Formless and flawless
Constantly shifting and controlled by no man

A seat to watch the world from,
a home for the gods.
The building blocks of heaven in the mortal world

If all earth's moisture will one day be a cloud,
the blood sweat and tears that we shed each day
will one day be a cloud, and return to wash our worries away.




So, I figured I would try writing about different subjects for a change. Clouds is how it turned out. Thanks for reading!
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Old 02-27-2012, 01:00 AM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

An Empty Shell
An empty shell is all that remains of me
After I fired all the emotion I could to break down your wall
I'm finally out of ammunition.
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Old 02-28-2012, 11:48 PM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

Simply Chemical?
The Lens of Truth leaves you blind to feeling
None of Naryu's love shines through

You can listen to the Song of Healing
But it only works if you get in the Lost Woods of notes





So, I started writing a poem about the same topic and unintentionally used the Lens of Truth line, and thought it would be awesome to use it in a Zelda type poem (since this is a zelda site) while still keeping the meaning I was trying to convey. Tell me what you guys think. =)
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:20 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

Your poems are lovely. They flow nicely and I enjoyed reading them. The last one is neat because it refers to Zelda. I like the way it sounds.
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Old 03-01-2012, 02:52 PM
kezzer kezzer is a male United States kezzer is offline
do you really think this is a joke
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Re: A few free verse poems

The first set of poems made me think hmm you need a hug. :c
But thats a good thing really, your writing is more strong and fearless where I try to tone myself down. So I really like your poems.
My favorite was Unknown Love. I am a daydreamer too actually I have a poem thats almost exactly like that (I'm hiding it), but yours is written a lot better.
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Old 03-02-2012, 12:30 AM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

Thank you guys sooo much for your kind words! It really makes it worthwhile.

My Heart is Yours
Here
I'm ripping my own heart and handing it to you
It's yours to do what you will with it
You can throw it away or hold it
as long as it was in your hands for a while, i'm happy

Happy I still have a heart to give to people
Happy my body isn't just an empty shell
Happy that if nothing else, you can remember me as the boy that gave his heart for nothing in return

but I know that I won't die before it reaches you
I know that you're too kind to let me fall
You'd give me yours to replace the void

Just as long as we're the right blood type.




*author's note. I had to fight the urge to make a joke about having more heart containers =P. Once zelda-y poem is enough -.-
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Old 03-02-2012, 01:04 AM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

Another nice addition. I hope this heart goes to a person who deserves it.
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Old 03-03-2012, 10:33 PM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

*sniffle* Sometimes I think these compliments could be poems themselves. They certainly move me as much as them, thank you so very much =D


Release
As long as a part of me
is anchored to the earth,
I’ll know that I am here.
The rest of me is free to wander the universe

Free to become a star for someone to wish upon
A light in the night sky
that makes the dark beautiful

Join me,
Let go of gravity and all that pulls you down
Lift off the ground and slip into the sea of stars


Eternal Calm
A cool calm has been created within me.
It stretches past the dam of emotions that bound me for so long
Permeating every part of me,
Extending itself across all existence ,
Inviting all to let it enter their heart

The castles that crown modern achievement may crumble,
but this ambience of eternal calm will remain.
This world won’t end, even if the sky falls.




Two more for you, yes you, the one that's reading this right now. I wrote the first one yesterday and finished the second one just now. Hope you enjoy them!
Last Edited by Awesomecake; 03-03-2012 at 10:35 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 03-05-2012, 11:03 PM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

Me
I close my eyes and look within.
All I see are shadow-faced figures
They're all me, but none are real
My true self is hidden,
No longer can I recognize who I am.


Bewitched
You are that mysterious light in the dark,
A beacon for lost souls,
and heat when there is no sun.

Iím drawn towards you,
A helpless moth bewitched by a flame.
So too shall I be burned.
For I am not the only one.


A Seed in the Wind
Spawned from a flower, desperate to spread itself
Trust in the wind for a place to blossom
In fertile fields
or barren deserts
Such is the choice of the wind

I soak in what sights I can
on my adventure through the skies.
Sailing over the seas of seeds that have already found their place

Who knows where I'll land
Whether a meadow
or a pavement, waiting to be stepped on
it isn't up to me,
I'm just a seed at the mercy of the wind.




*Author's note. Me was written quite a while ago, and the other two are recent. This is interesting to note because I feel like A Seed in the Wind is kind of like an answer to my crisis in Me, that it's ok because I'm still growing. Or something. Like always, tell me what you guys think, and have a great day.
Last Edited by Awesomecake; 03-05-2012 at 11:15 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 03-08-2012, 02:21 AM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

New one today, hope you like it!


Corruption
How does a heart grow so corrupted?
What once pumped blood, now produces poison.
It spills the blood of others, for it has none for itself

Does it seek to bring others with it?
like a contagious cancer without a cure.
All it leaves is a cold shell, that gets hot with anger
A barren battlefield where neither side wins.

Are the only options to remain oblivious or succumb to oblivion?
Decide to fight and get infected,
Turning a blind eye means I already have been.
Will I find a cure in time?
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Old 03-10-2012, 12:47 AM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

I love these poems! My two new favorites are Release and Eternal Calm. Keep it up! Your audience loves your work!
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Old 03-11-2012, 01:29 AM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
Eh Steve!
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Re: A few free verse poems

Reason to Be
Youíre the one that keeps me connected to the earth.
What else explains the reason for my birth?

Yesterday, I tried to see if I could throw my life away
But when my eyes fell upon your face, I could only freeze in place.
All I did was realize, that I couldnít leave while you were still alive.

But if I died, you could make my heart beat,
cause youíre in my dreams, and itís the only reason that I sleep.
I open my eyes, and youíre the only one I see.
All else fades away, making me feel truly free.





Thanks for being awesome Pseudo (and anyone else that reads/comments)! In other news I have a rhyming poem for you all today. I don't do these a lot, but I think when I do decide to do it, they turn out well. Did this one? Hope you enjoy!
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My Poems
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Last Edited by Awesomecake; 03-11-2012 at 01:13 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 03-11-2012, 05:14 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

This poem turned out very well! I really like your rhymes. Keep writing poems and never stop (except for the necessary things like sleeping, eating, etc.) because they are wonderful.
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Old 03-15-2012, 04:48 PM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

Who Do I Hold
Who do I hold when no one will let me?
These arms are for comfort
They want to love the one that fits between them

I reach out, only finding shadows
When these arms seem to fit with someone
They slip through, and I end up holding myself instead

But as bad as I feel,
As low as I go,
I know that these arms weren't meant for me.
There is some girl in deeper depths than I that wants a pair of arms around her.

Who is this person whom I should hold?
Who is hugging their legs, because no one else will


Keep It Simple, Stupid
You think your hair can help you when you're unhappy?
That makeup and a fake smile can destroy your depression?

Such a superficial subjectivity
A waste of whats really important.

Put down your weights and protein shakes
Just enjoy yourself, you don't need anything else.





Its been quite a few days now hasn't it? Anywhoo, I've got two more today. The first one was written a while ago, its similar to Unknown Love, but taken in a different direction. The second one is new, and I think I'm getting worse at coming up with titles =P, but meh. Hope you enjoy!
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Old 03-18-2012, 02:28 PM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

Our Time
Hold on to the instant when two worlds meet.
A fleeting moment, replayed forever in memory

Seconds stretched to centuries.
Our feelings frozen in time

No matter how long our time together
It’ll stay with me forever.
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Old 03-18-2012, 03:47 PM
Pseud O Nym United States Pseud O Nym is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

I like Our Time. It's lovely! I like the first line "When two worlds meet."
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:28 PM
Awesomecake Awesomecake is offline
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Re: A few free verse poems

What's on the Horizon
The sea drips from the sky filling my heart's once empty ocean
The warm waves beckon me towards the horizon

What lies beyond looks like nothing
but once I start stepping, my doubt disappears
I step deeper and deeper
into the ocean,
expecting to sink
but the water will always push me back to the surface

Soon the moon hangs high overhead
So I lie down on the waterbed

The waves wash all my woe away
and blanket my body from the cold, cruel night.

With no land in sight
I find I've reached my horizon

So I look up at the sky and smile,
hoping that the stars will soon smile back at me.






Future?
I thought I could go with the flow
but I’m drowning in a lake
not being carried by a river.
time to choose a direction, it’s sink or swim now.





Hello again. Two more poems for whomever stumbles upon them. The first one here is THE first one, its the first poem I ever wrote for myself outside of school. It has quite a bit of unexplained metaphors, so I guess I may want to explain that the sky in this poem is the girl. The rain is what she makes me feel, and the horizon being where the sky (her) and the earth (me) meet, is the goal.(i decided to put the explanation of the poem in spoilers because I don't usually do that, and people may not want it to be explained to them, or whatever.)
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My Poems
"Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth."
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Last Edited by Awesomecake; 04-04-2012 at 12:07 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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