[Poetry] Goron Poem

A short poem I wrote about the gorons.

Goron, Goron not exactly the brightest
at heart a proud warrior
a strong foe won't phase'im in the slightest

Goron, Goron never lose hope
trudging forward in the hardest of times
no matter the problem he can always cope

Goron, Goron hero's galore
from Darbus to Darmanii
strong as a boar

Goron, Goron always a kind heart
never leaving a friend
ready to play his part

I know it's not perfect but I hope to one day be a writer so any feedback is appreciated.

EDIT: from now on all future poems by me will appear in my poetry thread, feel free to still comment on this thread if your talking about this poem.

This is very good! It feels almost like a song, actually, if you ever get the chance, make a tune to it - this'd be a very great fantasy fan-song, I think!

The rhyme is nice and it could use a little work on the length of lines and stanzas, but it's a very nice set up and nice poem! I enjoyed it!

Some advice for next time: Try rhyme slants - words that rhyme based off how you say the word. (goin' and in for example)

Try mixing things up, too. Less structure is perfectly fine in poetry, and can be even more beautiful!

Thanks!

Poetries always been a favorite of mine even though I dont like reading it, also the tune is a good idea but I have no musical talent so adding a tune myself is out of the question, perhaps if I got some help from someone for it though... one more thing, I've used line slants before and enjoy it, rhyme seems to be a talent for me though.

What America means is, not the length of your lines, but when writing poetry with rhyming schemes, it helps to use lines with the same, if not close to the same amount of syllables.

Bulk words are not as important in poetry either unless your making a statement.

For example in the second stanza;

Goron, Goron, never losing hope (7 syl)
Impossible odds? (5 syl-a sixth as a pregnant pause cause by the question, second line first stanza there are 6)
You know a Goron could cope (7syl)

Do you like rap or Dr. Seuss? Some of best poets are actually musicians.

Originally Posted by Anju_Amnell

What America means is, not the length of your lines, but when writing poetry with rhyming schemes, it helps to use lines with the same, if not close to the same amount of syllables.

Bulk words are not as important in poetry either unless your making a statement.

For example in the second stanza;

Goron, Goron, never losing hope (7 syl)
Impossible odds? (5 syl-a sixth as a pregnant pause cause by the question, second line first stanza there are 6)
You know a Goron could cope (7syl)

Do you like rap or Dr. Seuss? Some of best poets are actually musicians.

I prefer to use my own style personally and I admit it's not my best work. sometime I'll have to find a good poem that fits well with syllabyles I wrote a few months back called autumn time. It is in my opinion one of my best poems. It personifies a leaf during autumn. I'll post it when I find it. Also I took your advice and while the syllabyles still need a little more smoothing out it feels to me it worked well

I'm not saying to change your style, I'm just asking because I'm curious as to what has interested you in poetry if you don't like to read it. Your style is what is attractive. I don't usually give advice for things that are too much work to save in my mind unless someone actually asks for it, because a lot of people want to be buttered up instead of hearing the honest truth.

In other words, keep writing, I like it. I think its the first poem I've ever read about a Goron, and there aren't many poets here who rhyme in a lot of their stuff.

Originally Posted by Anju_Amnell

I'm not saying to change your style, I'm just asking because I'm curious as to what has interested you in poetry if you don't like to read it. Your style is what is attractive. I don't usually give advice for things that are too much work to save in my mind unless someone actually asks for it, because a lot of people want to be buttered up instead of hearing the honest truth.

In other words, keep writing, I like it. I think its the first poem I've ever read about a Goron, and there aren't many poets here who rhyme in a lot of their stuff.

Honestly I just tried writing it, was told I was talented and enjoyed it Also don't worry I enjoy criticism and wont change my entire style because of it. When I said it wasnt my best work I meant the poem itself, not the style.

Really enjoyable I think. Good rhyme scheme and all, and like the others, I've never read a poem about a Goron.

Looking forward to reading more.

Thanks! I have one I wrote for a school project back in january. No idea where it is but it's more personal than the others. Also the rhyme scheme and orginization are in fact more unique than my other 2 poems. It is a little lighthearted though. It was my first time reading my poetry out loud to the class so it was about being nervous about that and dealing with it. apparently it was good enough that I had to read out loud along with 39 others to the whole grade as well as my own class