Writer's Council V.2

Alright you jabronies, we need some order here in the Fan Works, and because I've been wanting to re-do this thread idea, I'm bringing back the Writer's Council for its second run. Here's the low-down, instead of making endless threads all about asking for advice, requests and such, maybe we can get that changed and have it all come into here, make the place a lil cleaner. Now this is only for writing and writers, but this can include poets and lyrics and stuff. The Artists have their Gosu Thread

But we got the Writer's Council

V.2 at that! Lemme hear ya say it- V-2aaaaa!! DarkOrange



As before, here's a list of what can be included for your posts in here


1. Very short stories that you don't think deserve their own thread

This means stories that are like 1000 words of less or lil tales with no speaking and barely any description, just stories that you feel aren't big enough for their own thread.

2. Story excerts and previews

Have one chapter that comes later in your story or some kind of either written or made preview about your fic ya wanna show off to advertise? Go right ahead.

3. Character profiles/line-up ideas

If you have some sort of idea of a character that will be in a story you're writing, or a written idea of events that will happen in the story post it here to get comments from fellow members.

4. Enemy/Villain/Conflict ideas

There's always the conflict in the story, if its a person, some thought or some thing, it's always there. You need help developing it, or just want thoughts of what you've come up with, put it in here.

5. Writer's Block advice

Writer's block...it's gotten me enough, but if you're having trouble with it, tell about it here, tell what your problem is and what you can't decide on what to write, and others will help you.

6. Suggestions, comments, questions on writing or your fics

This is like anything. If you want some suggestions with what to write, comments on an excert or lil piece you have, go right ahead and post, other members will surely help. If you feel your overall story, character cast or plot needs some help, put it in here to get advice.

7. Vocabulary Help and Editing

Go ahead and ask for some bigger words or synnonyms for a certain word/words to make your writing seem more advance or for someone to edit a piece you think needs improvement. If you read a sentence and it sounds choppy, ask for help on how to make it flow better in here.

8. All around writing help

If you need developing a character, thinking of a good plots, writing intense battles, emotional scenes, or just plain writing better, making it look more intelligent of advance, and making it more exciting and enjoyable, this is the place for your aid.


And yes, poetry and lyrics advice and discussion is allowed here as well, as I said.

Have fun

What a great idea. Sorry, this is the only non helpful post I will have in here. Thanks for the thread, Mirren! This will come in handy for me, I just know it. Perhaps a short story or two shall come soon ... hmm. *wanders off*

Alright, I've been browsing some thesauruses and still need some help on synonyms.
Synonyms for the following words would be appreciated.
Courage
Blasphemy
Ignorance
Ancient
Illustrious

That text is extremely hard to read on the light forum skin. I suggest changing the colour.

Some synonyms for you, Black_Mage:

Courage
Spunk, Hutzpah

Ancient
Wizened, Aged, Decrepit

Illustrious
Renowned, Favored
---
I may edit this post if more of them strike me unawares.

^

Courage- Valor, Bravery, Heroism, Pluck, Temerity

Blasphemy- Irreverence, Desecration, Heresy

Ignorance- Incomprehension, Unawareness, Blindness

Ancient- Aged, Antediluvian, Antiquated

Illustrious- Famous, Celebrated, Famed, Glorious


If you need any more help for any other words, Thesaurus.com will be your best friend

EDIT-

Originally posted by Trico
That text is extremely hard to read on the light forum skin. I suggest changing the colour.

Oh you white-boys

We can give other people advice right?

For Courage: Audacity, Audaciousness, bravura, mettle. (I have much more, too much thought)

Blasphemy: Desecration, Execration, Lewdness.

Ignorance: Benightedness, Callowness, Nescience, Vagueness.

Ancient: Antedluvian( I like this word), Primordial, Venerable.

Illustrious: Eminent, Exalted, Prominent, Reknowned.

Hope that helped!

-TFS

The first version.

First: romance! What makes a good romance scene? How can I make it very emotional?

And now I move on to kidnapping. Okay, three characters are staying at an inn, two male and one female. Both males have feelings for the girl, and she has feeling for both of them. I want the girl to be kidnapped. What would be a very good and very creative way for her to be kidnapped?

^ First things first K9Doggie, who is she getting kiddnapped by? Just some extra *i.e, non-important person* a character well known by now, or a character that will become very important as the story goes on?

^ First things first K9Doggie, who is she getting kiddnapped by? Just some extra *i.e, non-important person* a character well known by now, or a character that will become very important as the story goes on?

Didn't think about that. Why's it inportant.

K9Doggie, for an emotional scene, what I tend to do is I try to remember what I felt like when I was in a similar situation in my life, or how I would imagine I would feel if such an event ever happened to me. For example, in one of my stories, Pedal Powered Penny, there is a scene where the two main characters go on a date to the movies. To create this scene, I just remembered back when I went to see a movie with a particular girl and just wrote the scene as if I was telling someone about that. Emotional scenes are probably one of the most difficult things to write.

The kidnapping, now, what sort of story is it? Is it a wacky comedy adventure or a gritty crime thriller? Because the genre is really going to determine how the girl gets kidnapped. For example, if it was a wacky comedy adventure, perhaps someone posing as room service could kidnap her while the two guys are distracted by the breakfast menu that this guy gives them. So they'll be debating which is better, the muffins or the croissants while she gets kidnapped. I guess that's a creative way to be kidnapped.

But, yeah, it depends on what genre you're writing in to determine how the girl gets kidnapped.

[QUOTE]And now I move on to kidnapping. Okay, three characters are staying at an inn, two male and one female. Both males have feelings for the girl, and she has feeling for both of them. I want the girl to be kidnapped. What would be a very good and very creative way for her to be kidnapped?[QUOTE]

Eh. D: The female romantic appeal ALWAYS gets kidnapped *helplessly*. That's... kinda cliche, I'm sorry to say. oo;

The whole "girl gets kidnapped, valiant heroes must save her" is cliche, on the whole, and ergo it's difficult to pull off without seemling corny or anything.

In order for me to answer that, I really need some context. Where's the inn? When does this story take place, in 10th Century Mexico or in 21st Century New York City?

Okay, now I need a piece of advice. oo;

I'm thinking of writing a dark Zelda fanfic called The Rain. It takes place about fifteen years after the Hero of Time dies, and Hyrule is in a huge state of economic and political turmoil. A new Hero arises, but he is prophecized to betray Hyrule with his foolish actions. The story itsself builds up all the way to the point that Ganondorf is released again and the flood begins.

Does that sound like a good idea or a bad idea? Has it been done before a gazillion times? I have only been involved in any sort of Zelda fanfic community for about four months, so I know nothing of overused plot idead. ;o;

Thanks. ><;

Lalala, I ruv the idea of a Writers Corner...

Originally posted by K9doggie
The first version.

Eh-hum, that was Rena's Writer's Corner thread, this is the second version of the Writer's Council. The first one was long before your time



Alright, I need a thought or too. I'm working a lot on my Gundam fic, and as I expected, the story is 90-95% dialogue and character action, there's actually very little Gundam fighting. Anyways, with this large amount of speaking parts, I've found that I was at one time writing them very poorly, but right now I've been trying to make it flow better, and add more to them to make it less of just script-dialogue. Here's a part from the beginning, where I feel it was kinda bad-

“Yeah, we’re supposed to be testing them out tomorrow!” the man, named Gartol added. Commander Saruma smiled as he finished.

“Kids, these two will be the pilots of the Mobile Suits” she explained. Jina’s face lit up again.

“Oh wow! That’s gotta be awesome for you two!” she said excitedly. The woman, named Shirta nodded with a smirk.

“You bet, I’ve wanted to use that thing for years now” she replied. Everyone laughed a bit.

“Well, after all, you two have been working on those things the whole way” Rodka added.

“Yep, that’s why we’re the perfect choice for ‘em!’ Gartol quickly responded. The Commander laughed again with Jina and Iryn.

“Yeah, you two even went so far as to design the entire weaponry” she stated.

“Wow, that had to take forever” Iryn spoke, a bit surprised from hearing it. Shirta smirked again and looked back up at the Twinn and Llongshot.

“Yeah, but right about now, it was all worth it” she said. Gartol snickered a bit and patted her on the shoulder.

“Nah, it’ll be worth it when we kick each other’s asses in them” he ‘corrected’. Everyone instantly let out a laugh, the entire group of them finding the comment humorous.

And now here's a part later in the story where I've tried to make it better-

“Hey Taro, can you see if the boosters will work when I start this up?” she asked. The Major shrugged.

“Yeah sure why not” he answered with a yawn, beginning to grow sleepy. Standing several meters from the back of the craft, Jessa turned it on, and the five jets in the back released small flames. “You’re good girl, it should be fine when you need to increase their output” he called out through the noise. She turned off the boosters, but left the plane’s main engine still running.

“Thanks Taro” she called back. Desial then rolled out from under it, and stood up as he tossed the wrench back into a large toolbox.

“Alright Jessa, the flap’s screwed on tight, that thing won’t be coming off anytime soon. What else ya need?” he asked. Jessa continued trying out all the buttons, switches and monitors on her control panel.

“I don’t think much more, all the computers here in the cockpit seem to be working fine. And the system seems perfect. Would one of you mind checking out the guns for a second though?” the teen replied.

“I’m on it” Taro said, and went over to the left arm, where on the end were three gun-barrels. He was interested by them at his first glance. “Hmm, forty or fifty millimeter they look like, pretty nice”.

“Yeah, and they have Hyper-Fire so they’re even better” Jessa added, and then sent the barrels rolling. Taro jumped back in a flash as his face twisted.

“Holy crap! Watch those things!” he cried from being startled. The young Rolander laughed.

“Don’t worry Taro, it was just the secondary mode, all it does is automatically get the barrels ready to fire instantly when I command it, rather than a slow start in the first mode” Jessa clarified. Taro massaged his head as he still breathed heavily.

“Yeah, well don’t go doing that to me again” he said. Desial exhaled deeply as he sat down on a metal crate.

“Anything else then?”. Jessa’s eyes scanned over her control panel one more time.

“No, I think I’m fine for tonight, we can be done. I’ll just have the extra ammo compartments filled tomorrow morning. I wanna get to bed now honestly” she replied, and turned off the Csander completely. Taro covered his mouth as he yawned again.

Of course these are just excerpts, there's more I left out in them. Does that second piece seem better though?

Originally Posted by K9doggie

First: romance! What makes a good romance scene? How can I make it very emotional?

Believability - fun word that means; you'd better believe what your writing or as a reader I sure the heck won't.

Another question you should ask yourself is what is the current state of the relationship? Are you at the beginning, when it's all so fresh and new, that even corny professions of love and fidelity seem 'normal'?

Or within an already established relationship? Familiarty breeds contempt they say, but it also lends itself to an assumed comfort level, even in a relationship that is not going well the characters will and should make assumptions about their partner based past experience.

If Character A does something wholly unexpected by Character B, you should make sure Character B notes it either by thought or how they react to Character A. (but this statement stands true for all your characters - not just the ones involved in the romance)

Originally Posted by K9doggie

And now I move on to kidnapping. Okay, three characters are staying at an inn, two male and one female. Both males have feelings for the girl, and she has feeling for both of them. I want the girl to be kidnapped. What would be a very good and very creative way for her to be kidnapped?

It sounds like you have an idea of WHO is doing the napping so your biggest questions then become WHY, WHERE and HOW.

Depending a great deal on the whereabouts of the two aforementioned males, is she alone? If so, why is she alone? Does she resists? How long does it take to kidnap her? Does she create enough rukus to get the other characters attention? What are the two males doing while she's being napped? Fighting over who she loves best? Or sitting around seperately trying to decide how best to profess their undying love? Does their rivalry cause them to lose the opportunity to prevent the napping? - so many questions and you get to answer them all.

Keep in mind that a major event like this will effect what will happen later on, so try not to forget the details -

Originally Posted by Lakayal

Does that sound like a good idea or a bad idea? Has it been done before a gazillion times? I have only been involved in any sort of Zelda fanfic community for about four months, so I know nothing of overused plot idead. ;o;

ANY plot idea will sound tired and overused if the writing sounds tired and overused. From what I've seen of your work here, that won't really be a problem...as you already have a good sense of timing and dialogue. You are already wary of the random cliche so I say give it a try, it ought to be interesting.

Okay - enough crap from me

I'm going to be writing a short zelda fanfic about skull kid being the main person in the story.....would that be a good idea or not? any ideas would be nice.

Ok, Mirren, I think your main problem is you mix who is doing the speaking and who is responding. Let me clarify:

In reading through the first bit, I was very confused as to what was going on, because, while one un-named person (ie. he/she said) said something, another named character responded, so it is difficult to understand who actually was responding and who was actually saying something. Does this make sense? Like, take the first three lines for example:

“Yeah, we’re supposed to be testing them out tomorrow!” the man, named Gartol added. Commander Saruma smiled as he finished.

“Kids, these two will be the pilots of the Mobile Suits” she explained. Jina’s face lit up again.

See, like here, the man who starts is Gartol, correct? And then the Commander responds to him, saying “Kids, these two…”. But then, Jina’s face lights up. Who is Jina? Usually the action following the response corresponds to the person addressed. This though, is probably due to the fact that it’s an excerpt – I assume Jina was introduced before Gartol started speaking.

Or, for the next line:

“Oh wow! That’s gotta be awesome for you two!” she said excitedly. The woman, named Shirta nodded with a smirk.

Ok, in this, Jina was the last person mentioned, so, it is assumed that she is the one who exclaims “Oh wow”. However, then you mention another woman, Shirta, in the same context, so then I get confused as to if the woman saying “Oh wow” is Shirta or Jina. Make sense?

And again..

“You bet, I’ve wanted to use that thing for years now” she replied.

Is this Shirta or Jina? And who is she replying to?

^My suggestion for that little interlude is that you should put the sentence, “The woman, named Shirta, nodded… (not forgetting your commas! )…” on the next line next to her quote of “You bet….” Capish?

And the same thing for these next couple lines:

“Yep, that’s why we’re the perfect choice for ‘em!’ Gartol quickly responded. The Commander laughed again with Jina and Iryn.

“Yeah, you two even went so far as to design the entire weaponry” she stated.

Put the sentence introducing the Commander along side her comment.

And the same thing for these:

“Wow, that had to take forever” Iryn spoke, a bit surprised from hearing it. Shirta smirked again and looked back up at the Twinn and Llongshot.

“Yeah, but right about now, it was all worth it” she said. Gartol snickered a bit and patted her on the shoulder.

“Nah, it’ll be worth it when we kick each other’s asses in them” he ‘corrected’. Everyone instantly let out a laugh, the entire group of them finding the comment humorous.

Put Shirta’s sentence w/ Shirta’s line, and same thing for Gartol’s snickering and correction. Oh, and who exactly is Gartol patting o the shoulder? Iryn?

-------
Ok, I know that’s not what you really asked for, but since you said you were feeling quite bad about it, I thought I’d help that dialogue out. It’s a cute little interlude of friends, and the quick lines and playful banter suggest that nice warm friendly feeling. It’s not all that bad, just clear up the point-of-view like I attempted to explain.

Ok, for the second part: It IS a whole lot better, in my opinion. Although, there are the same ‘character w/ line’ problems that I pointed out above, but the overall dialogue is better. You’re right – adding a bit more to what they’re saying does help clarify what’s going on. But here, let me rewrite this second bit using what I was demonstrating above (and I made some minor adjustments grammar-wise, and included in italics reasons for them:

“Hey Taro, can you see if the boosters will work when I start this up?” she asked.

The Major shrugged. “Yeah, sure, why not?” he answered with a yawn, getting a little sleepy. (using ‘getting’ makes it more active than ‘beginning to’) Standing several meters from the back of the craft, Jessa ( I assume Jessa is the girl in the craft?) turned it on, and the five jets in the back released small flames.

“You’re good, girl; it should be fine when you need to increase their output,” he called out through the noise. She turned off the boosters, but left the plane’s main engine running. (Notice how I deleted ‘still’ – since she was ‘leaving it running’, the word ‘still’ is not needed)

“Thanks, Taro!” she called back.

Desial then rolled out from under the craft, and stood up as he tossed his wrench back into a large toolbox. (I made minor differences in this, because Desial is a new character introduced into the scene. If, however, he was introduced at the beginning, before this excerpt, and he was seen to have taken the wrench out of the toolbox and gone under the plane, then these corrections are not important. The new paragraph, however, is) “Alright, Jessa, the flap’s screwed on tight. That thing won’t be coming off anytime soon. What else do ya need?” he asked.

Jessa continued trying out all the buttons, switches, and monitors on her control panel. “I don’t think much more; all the computers here in the cockpit seem to be working fine. And the system seems perfect. Would one of your mind checking out the guns for a second though?” the teen replied.

“I’m on it,” Taro said, and went over to the left arm, where three gun barrels rested on the end (More active than ‘three gun barrels where on the end were’) They captured his interest at first glance. (Again, more active than passive) “Hmm, they look like forty or fifty millimeter. Pretty nice.”

“Yeah, and they have Hyper-Fire, so they’re even better,” Jessa added, and then sent the barrels rolling. Taro jumped back in a flash as his face twisted.

“Holy crap! Watch those things!” (In this case, putting Taro’s action up with Jessa’s instead of with his exclamation is better, because it gives the better element of shock and surprise. As they say, English is the most perverse and annoying language, as there are exceptions to everything. )

“Don’t worry, Taro, it was just the secondary mode. All it does is automatically get the barrels ready to fire instantly when I command them, rather than a slow start that’s in the first mode,” Jessa clarified.

Taro messaged his head as he breathed heavily. “Yeah, well don’t do that to me again!” he said.

Desial exhaled deeply as he sat down on a metal crate.

“Anything else then?”

Jessa’s eyes scanned over her control panel one more time.

“No, I think I’m fine for tonight. We’re done. I’ll just have the extra ammo compartments filled tomorrow morning. I wanna get to bed now, honestly.” She turned off the Csander completely. Taro covered his mouth as he yawned again.

So yeah, very well done. I like this story, even if it is only minor action and all dialogue. Sometimes that’s better, because it’s like watching a movie or something, where it IS all dialogue. If done correctly, it’s just as good as a written descriptive novel, and you have the talent for making it engaging and interesting. One more thing – make sure you watch your sentence punctuation. I know that most people don’t speak with commas, but whenever dialogue is written, it is a must that you use proper punctuation. So, make sure that you’ve got commas around your names when someone is addressed, and at the end of the quote. And try to separate some of your sentences too – people do talk rapidly, which indicates that there is not a few sentences, but just a bunch of words w/ commas between complete thoughts. However, complete thoughts are complete thoughts, and need to be treated as individual sentences, not as run-ons, even if it is dialogue. Just some friendly advice

~Zanza

*nod nod* Thanks a ton, I'll take that all into account

Oh come on where are all the posts, we need something in here.

And isn't this worthy of a sticky? If that happened maybe this thing could be more productive

Thank you guys for helping me realize that my idea was too cliche. Now, I've decided that instead of the two "heros" saving the kidnapped girl, the girl will kill her kidnappers in some sort of interesting way. Oh, and what I am writing is a medeval fantasy story. A Zelda fanfiction to be exact. This story does not mention Link or Zelda.

Now all I need is ideas for this thing to happen. How should she be kidnapped and how should she kill them?

^Well that's a new one: kidnapped kills kidnappers. Not unheard of, but rare. But I ask you: how does she end up being kidnapped, and then suddenly have the guts and brawn to do it? If you choose to use this story-line, that's fine, but you're going to have to in some way show how the kidnapped girl grows to a point where it is believable that she CAN kill these guys. Does that make sense? And how will she grow? What events will happen so that she gains confidence in herself to actually pull this over the bad guys?

If I may make a suggestion: You could have some other guy come to save her (like, the lover cliche hero) but at the end of the story, while he's distracting the two baddies, she could come up from behind and kill them. Or something like that. Kinda surprising. Just keep in mind that the victim is becoming the hero in this particular plot, so it's got to be believable. Ok?

~Zanza

Okay, here's my random question for the day. It is related to the Project Mudora piece I'm currently working on, so is a Zelda related question.

Given the history of the games, how involved should I let the Goddesses get? Meaning, how personal should the contact between the goddess and the principals be? On a first person level - where the speak directly to the characters, or a more distant one?

While I know first person contact would certainly move things along quicker, the actual ending will require one or more characters to make a huge leap of faith and I have a feeling the first person contact would interfere with that. I'm not worried about potential cliches, the subject matter I'm writing about lends itself to that.

This is as far a I went with the latest part (it won't likely move any further until I decide the other question)

Ceerlin paused and focused his attention on the forest in front of him. There was no sound here, none at all, even his footsteps fell soundlessly. The Khohi’krit village was very near, he was sure of that, but it was so damn quiet. Nervous and worried, he stepped out past the last line of trees and felt an odd tingle as he did. The boy walked a little further, gasped and stopped. In front of him was a line of corpses, each barely recognizable but he knew these people. They dangled from metal pikes in the middle of what used to be the village green of the Khohi’krit Village, in despair; he silently fell to his knees.

What happened? This was his home…everything was destroyed… Why would Venus send him here? She must have known. His anguish started to build within him. No… he tried to whisper, but no sound came out. The Triforce symbol on his had itched and he felt it burn into his skin as khohi’krit spirits, silent up until now, swirled around him as they told him of the massacre. He shook his head and tried to clear a thought for himself, but the spirits were unrelenting and his mind nearly split as they whispered to him within that eerie silence.

Ceerlin could no longer tell where the pain from his sorrow ended and his head began. He felt his heart might burst as his grief tried to consume him. Everyone was gone, everything he ever cared about had been taken from him. He was alone. In his heart, he knew this wasn't right, this had to stop. Ceerlin ignored the pain that raked through his head as he stood. His hand felt on fire and to the spirits, he asked only one question, he needed an answer. Still the khohi'krit spirits whispered only of death and Ceerlin closed his eyes and screamed to the heavens, “WHY?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Book 3
War

Part 3:3
Farore's Wind

Deku


From her place in the heavens, Farore heard a cry so horribly sorrowful she froze as its anguish washed over her. Never before had the Sister Goddess heard such pain. Even General Davgones pleas paled in comparison to its loss and hopelessness. So it was that Sister Goddess Farore, Full of Grace, was moved once more, to return to the earth below and follow the sadness to its source. She paused as she came to a shield constructed of shieka’ji spirit magic; it was not a hindrance for her and she smiled at their cleverness. The shield of silence and invisibility covered a wide area but did not run too deeply into the soil. As she passed through the barrier, the sounds of mournful weeping returned to her.

She and her Sisters knew of death, its meaning and how it played a part in all things, still the Sister Goddess was appalled by the scene. None were spared in this, as almost every man, woman and child had been killed. The khohi’krit spirits came to her then and apologized to the Sister Goddess. They’d been set as the guardians of the law of all living things. With so much death and destruction in their midst, their numbers had dwindled. Now they were scattered across Hyrule and restricted to those areas that the war had not yet touched. With so few of them left, they’d been unable to stop the ruin of their people.

Sister Goddess Farore watched unseen by the Sheikah boy, dressed in style of the Khohi’krit as he wept bitterly at the feet of dead. This was the source, she realized, the something that was wrong was here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spent, Ceerlin again sank to his knees and stared at the ground for a long while. There was still no sound though he wept as he went about the task of moving the bodies of his family and friends. He would never be able to bury them all so he assembled a funeral pyre and as gently as he could, arranged the bodies on it. The strain of it all weakened him and he tired quickly but he had no thoughts of stopping. The khohi’krit spirits were calmer now and that eased some of the burden, but he was more thankful when some of them used their essence to sustain him, easing his fatigue and bolstered by their presence he struggled to complete the task.

I realize this is only a small portion of the overall text, but any suggestions/comments you have would be greatly appreciated.