September Writing Contest - Voting

It's time to vote on the submissions! Just vote for your favourite entry, the votes will be tallied and the tallies shall be counted and the individual tally counts shall be compared to each other to determine which has the higher numerical value and thus the winner is decided.

It was either that or tape each entry to a pig and race them through the obstacle course. Hehe, man, what a Christmas that was.


ENTRY ONE

Memes? In my television?
It’s more likely than you think.


In a TV first, ABC has produced a new quiz television program. Not on general knowledge, or academics, but on ‘memes’, internet phenomena spread via e-mail, web forums, and blogs. The host, John ‘Candle-Jack’ Peterson, a self-described ‘pretty cool guy’, has created the show as a way to attract internet lurkers to televisi
The show’s title, you ask? Name that Meme. The pilot’s winner, Jacquelyn Kittens, inspired by Fredrick Kittens, says she knows every phenomenon ‘in all your base’. From longcat to pedobear to ‘blud-uh’, she knows them all. “It’s really all about the forums.” Says Kittens, when asked about her knowledge of the memes. She apparently likes ‘Mudkipz’, but says a cat is fine, too, and is eagerly awaiting the next episode, where she is pitted against three other people, one of them being renowned meme generator Brian Peppers.
Back to the discussion of the television show, the rules are simple. One player has a certain amount of time to name the picture or text that is blurry and shrunken. As time goes on, the picture becomes more clear, and, if they can’t figure out the picture in time, a disturbing image known as ‘Goatse’ is flashed at them.
Overall, the show is an amusing program if you are an internet aficionado. If not, then it is an incomprehensible bore. At first I was like :/, but then . They show is quite funny, even if you don’t frequent the world wide web. (Which, in my opinion, is not only for porn. Personally, I am disappoint that they didn’t explain some of the memes, but, the show is still very amusing. If I’d could, I’d give it over 9000 points.

Title: Name that Meme
Score: 8/10


ENTRY TWO

]Pagmas 'Round the World Adventures

Pagma is an exciting new series on ABC. It fallows the Pamga Family (Francis: dad, Brittney: mom, Jack: son, Kate: daughter) and their adventures across the globe. In the pilot episode, Francis, the father, in a first for TV moment, gets his arm bitten off by a lion, that’s right, they actually show the man walking up to the lion, and tossing it some meat, Francis backs away, but the lion lunges forward at the him clamping down on his arm. Then the worst part, the lion began to rock its head back and forth until you could hear the bone breaking, crack, crack, SNAP, that whole arm came off. Francis let out a blood curdling scream. Shock, when I first saw this, absolute shock that they would actually show something like that on TV. Later in the episode, which by the way is called Man Loses and Arm, Kate Pagma drinks some of the nearby water, which turns out to be a sewage dump, she falls ill, but who could guess what will happen to her, anyway I couldn’t watch anymore after she chewed that floater, another first TV, the other twenty-eight minutes of thirty minute show, I’m not sure about. The two minutes I did watch were action packed and a little disturbing, I encourage everyone to go and put this show on a series recording or your list depending on if you have satellite or cable, its gross in either, trust me, I tried it.

In all I would give the show ninety-one tomatoes out of one hundred. That’s right this review will also be posted on rottentomatoes.com in fact I posted it there first because that’s where most people will go to read this, seeing as how few people read my column in the news paper, I could say anything here and I wouldn’t get in trouble but anyway back to my point, which was I don’t remember anymore. Hold on let me reread for a second *rereads* nope I don’t remember my point. Well you get the jist of it right? Go watch the first 2 minutes of Pagma if you want to see a girl eat a floater and a guy get his arm bitten off by a lion. Now that we have this maybe they will approve my people get stepped on my elephants show, I’m going to shop my pilot around, if anyone knows of someone looking for really exciting pilot point them in my direction ok? Good. I hope my boss doesn’t decide to read this one either it is just terrible.



ENTRY THREE

Sure to tickle audeinces' fancy

In the wake of the success of films like The Dark Knight, one would expect the TV viewing fare for the upcoming season would be heavy, gritty and unrelenting. For the most part, that seems to be the case with the majority of the line-up featuring morally grey characters cast into ethical dilemma after ethical dilemma. Which is why 'Rainbow Ninja Tickle Police' is such a refreshing breath of air.

The name of the show may immediately make you inclined to dismiss it as a children's show, however, please do note the late-night time slot. This is very much an adult show. The first episode introduces us to the all-girl team that makes up the Rainbow Ninja Tickle Police and their new recruit Koume Reimon. Her chance meeting with the team sets the show's humourous tone from the get-go in an elaborate slapstick piece involving a very troublesome cat, a step-ladder and a powerline. The laughs did not stop there with only brief pauses for exposition between comedy set-pieces. The team's mission, as quickly explained in the opening credits, is to bring happiness to the world. If there's someone down in the dumps, then the Tickle Police are sent in, and this is where the show's adult rating makes itself known plain as day.

It seems the all-girl (and all-buxom) squad are more than willing to try the most obvious method to bring happiness to someone. The nudity on show is gratuitous in every definition of the word but played for laughs and it works very well as both titillation and comedy. In a TV first, the subject of the Tickle Police's attention each week is not played by a professional actor but by a viewer. I suspect the lines to register to be in the running will be tied up once the scene of Janice and Kim trying to cheer up this week's sadsack with some bathtime fun hits the airwaves.

The show does have its faults, though, with the plot not being quite thick enough to sustain interest when the ladies are not on screen. It's at these points in the show that you realise that you might just be watching because of the women and not because of an appreciation for subversive, post-modern humour.

It won't be enough to dent the show's popularity, I'll wager. Scanity-clad women in mature situations is an age old formula that has endured for millenia for a reason. And it's a formula that will have me for one tuning in next week. I have to see if I won a spot on an episode after all.


Get voting!

Voting closes 29th September 2009