Demented Balls: Rise of the Mutant Peas [Anyone and everyone]
OoC: A random battle appears!
>Join >Throw Pokeball
Using Near. Link in signature, fifth character down x3.
A Red Hot Chili Peppers song off their 1995 album One Hot Minute. Flea is featured as both lead vocals and the only instrumentalist in this song, departing from the norm of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
“Ahem. Now thi--Oh crap, wrong slide. Sorry, sorry.”
A seed of a pea plant used for food.
“Ah, there we go. Ahem.”
A gruff voice filled the metallic room as a small bullwhip slapped the screen hard, pointing at the words.
“This, my fellow Pea-kind, is what humans think of us!”
A loud gasp rose up from the creature’s audience along with numerous murmurs. The speaking began increasing in volume, some voices filled with anger, some with fear. There was a low grunt and a narrowing of the beady, black eyes from the old Sgt. Pea, but they were hard to see, considering the fact that his swirling grey moustache covered them both.
He cleared his throat, but the bickering did not cease. After a few seconds, he hit the white screen with his whip again, shouting out a loud “Silence!” over the noise.
The shouting and yelling slowly quieted down as the audience slowly realized the glare that the Sergeant was giving off was a bad one, even though they couldn’t see his eyes.
“My men! My soldiers! We Peas come from the planet system called Loldeds. Some of you come from planet Lolded E195 or Lolded Echo 351, or…wherever. That does not matter! Today! We are united under the roof of our spaceship as we descend onto a planet that is outside of our planetary system! And we are united by this flag! Our flag!”
The Sergeant slapped the whip once more against the screen as the slide from the projector changed swiftly to a picture of a flag, which had a plain white background and a single green dot directly in the center.
“Some of you may ask…” Sgt. Pea continued on, “‘Why are we doing this?’ ‘Why so far from our home?’ I will tell you why, now. It is because of these humans! Using our kind as…as…food! It is a horrible thought, my soldiers. There are countless of these…so called ‘pea-farms’ all over this world! That is correct! They grow our kind…just to eat them before they mature into one of us!”
The gathering remained silent, listening intently to the Sergeant. The occasional Pea fainted, as imagining the horrors that befell their kind on this horrible planet was too much for their pea-sized minds to handle.
“We have come with a solution!” the Sergeant moved off to the side and picked up a bag. He opened it, and pulled out a small vial with green-glowing liquid inside. “This…is a powerful formula, developed by the Pea science colony on Lolded Beta 0. They have named this formula…the Holococo-Orinocoloco, also known as ‘HO’.”
At the end of that statement, someone laughed, but upon finding out that no one laughed with him, fell silent again.
The Sergeant put his speech aside for a mere second, “I would have that person tortured and killed for his insolence! But today, we need all the pea-power we can muster.”
He turned his attention to the massive army of peas spread out before him and held out the vial.
“Soon! We shall be landing, and when we do! We must each drink a vial--then, we will grow to human size with…unique abilities. There are extra vials in your packs, these are to be poured into the soil that the pea-plants grow out of, so that the young peas can join us in our cause! Be warned, there is no telling what would happen if a human drinks this, or what would happen if poured into something other than a pea-plant. Also, it is highly addictive! That is why I have chosen you, the hardiest soldiers in mind and body from the Loldeds. When phase one of our plan is complete, we shall begin phase two: revenge. We shall take this planet by storm and enslave the humans! And when we do so we shall call the planet…”
There was a short pause as the Sergeant took a deep breath.
“Manic is…” the artificial being pressed his face against the window pane, staring hungrily at the delicious dishes laid out before him. But behind the thick glass…cheesecakes, chocolate cakes, fruitcakes, shortbreads, sweetbreads, muffins, cookies, everything a hungry man in need of a sugar rush would want.
A line of drool ran down the glass.
“Hey, you!” someone grabbed him by the collar and tugged him back ferociously.
Near was caught off-guard by this, instantly, his mind flashed back to all the trouble he had caused over the past few days with his wild antics.
“Manic isn’t stealing anything!” he flailed around in the person’s grasp, “Manic is just looking!”
“I just cleaned there!” The man said, letting him go, “Ugh, get out of here.”
“But…” Near pouted, pointing at the fruitcake behind the glass, “…cake…?”
“Yes, cake. Now go.”
Near sighed dramatically, lowering his head and shoving his right hand in his pocket--his left hand too big and too dangerous to shove into any piece of cloth, even if this cloth was made of what he was made of. His white cowl flowed over his left shoulder, completely concealing his unusual, slender left arm.
With his whole world crashing down around him, he dragged his both feet on the concrete pavement as he walked slowly along, staring down at the ground. He didn't pay attention to the people who looked at and mumbled about him. All he saw were those rows of delicious pastry...Cakes with icing, cakes without. Beef pies, chicken pies, lemon pies, apple pies-
-His stomach grumbled.
He ignored it and continued walking, not looking where he was going. Near encountered a pole and slowly walked into it, pressing his body, as if he wanted it to go through him.
His stomach grumbled again.
“Manic’s tummy is angry…”
Near pressed his forehead against the metal pole. Suddenly, the being lifted his head and tilted it slightly, he opened his mouth wide, baring his pearly whites.
Re: Demented Balls: Rise of the Mutant Peas [Anyone and everyone]
OoC: I like balls, DEMENTED BALLS! HA HA! *throws a pokeball*
IC: Daniel had never had the chance to eat candy, or any other delicious sweet foodstuffs for that matter. So imagine his excitement at being in a shop absolutely stuffed with pies, cakes and chocolate confections! Piles and piles of chocolate… enough to make even the demon fill with desire for the sweetened treat.
“So… hungry… want… candy…” Daniel mumbled; a thin line of drool beginning to fall from his mouth.
Argh! Just get the damned chocolate!
Ever obedient, Daniel punched the elderly shopkeeper in the face and took a sack of what he guessed to be at least several pounds of chocolate and ran out of the shop. He didn’t really care much about the shopkeeper; the old man would probably have a broken nose, but not much else. After running over to a nearby alley, the young man opened the sack and took a large piece of chocolate out. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen; it was smooth and brown and smelled like it would make all of his dreams come true. Daniel took a bit of the chocolate, and after deciding it was good, crammed several more pieces into his mouth.
It was sweet, yet bitter and melted in his mouth as he ate it. It was one of the most delicious things the young man had ever eaten, and he began to wonder how he had survived without this wonderful treat. Yet… something felt strange, he felt like he had more energy than he normally did.
Yes… give me more!
Daniel ate more chocolate, and was too overwhelmed by the wonderful candy that he didn’t feel the demon getting more powerful. By the time he realized that the demon had taken control of most of his mind, it was too late.
“Finally… I am in control!” Daniel screamed in a menacing voice, with a touch of insanity.
Daniel consumed the rest of the chocolate and punched through the alley and through the building next to it before running over to a nearby pole and ripping it from its place in the ground. Using his newfound strength, the possessed man snapped the pole in half and threw it into a wall, not paying any attention to the person attached to the pole by his mouth.
“Hey… you killed Manic’s cake pole!” the discarded person shouted at Daniel as tears fell from his eyes.
“Heh… you mean my cake pole?” Daniel said to the person in a mocking tone.
OoC: Right, the link to Daniel is the picture of the hippo on the cloud in my sig.
Lady Knives made the signature picture, SUBMIT TO HER WILL!
Re: Demented Balls: Rise of the Mutant Peas [Anyone and everyone]
Cake. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a slice. In fact, he wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever had it before, but all he knew was that it was some really good stuff, a food that children wait all year for, and whose parents work hard at perfecting for the kid’s birthday. It wasn’t the healthiest meal out there, but Styx had little reason to care for his health.
The bakery was filled with all sorts of variations, the mere smell temptation enough for thievery. He looked around the room, quickly finding one that looked appetizing enough. Without waiting for the storeowner to look away, he dug his fingers into the dessert and pulled a massive piece of warm, creamy goodness.
“Hey, you! What do you think you’re doing?” The salesman screamed. He jumped over his counter, chasing after the thief that just leisurely walked out his front door.
Styx trotted casually down the city street, taking occasional large bites from his newly acquired slice of cake. He let the piece of heaven melt in his mouth, sinking between every tooth, and gingerly crawling down his throat. His eyes widened it delight. It was delicious, a marbled chocolate and vanilla cake with a forbidden cocoa frosting. He needed no fork or knife, his teeth and fingers being his only utensils. Such a wonderful taste, it was no wonder he’d heard this city referred to as the bakery capital of the world. He’d have to remember this store and come back to it later.
Suddenly, he became aware of a store’s clerk tugging frantically at his arm, shouting at him for not paying for his purchase. Styx pretended he wasn’t there, the man’s futile efforts at budging him from his slow pace an undying failure. Styx had the slight inclination to kill the poor soul, but if he did, the man wouldn’t be able to prepare such amazing food any longer. Styx would rather let him live to make another meal another day, so he’d be able to take some more in the future.
“I mean it, man! I have kids to feed!” The chef babbled, tugging with all his might on Styx’s arm as he took another bite from his cake. “Are you deaf? I said—“
Styx twitched his arm to the side, gently flinging the man against the wall of a building, knocking him unconscious. “Pansy.” He grumbled, taking another large bite from his slice of cake.
A commotion up ahead caught his attention. Two people appeared to be fighting over something. He couldn’t tell what was going on exactly. If there was going to be a fight, he wanted to be a part of it. This city may have sold excellent food, but it was an overall boring place to visit, much less live. He was ready for some action, and if the two frolicking goons up ahead were ready to exchange blows, it would have to do for now.
He stopped his walk next to the two, neither having noticed him. He leaned himself against a wall, waiting to see if this would erupt into a fight, or if it was merely a childish dispute. He took another bite from his cake, savoring every second of flavor it provided him.
Re: Demented Balls: Rise of the Mutant Peas [Anyone and everyone]
Atropos was enjoying a stroll down the street, in the warm air of this sunny summer afternoon. As she walked she glanced into each of the windows of the storefronts on her left. She passed an antique store, a café, an Italian restaurant, and a jewlery store. So far, nothing much had really interested her enough to actually go into any of the stores, but she was enjoying simply walking along the sidewalk.
Suddenly, something caught the eye of her sweet tooth. She looked at the store on her left, and saw inside pies of every sort. Apple pies, cherry pies, blueberry pies, lemon merangue pies, and even cheesecakes. Not able to contain herself, she entered the store and began to explore the confectionaries. Finding a delicious looking blackberry pie, and noticing that it was still quite warm and fresh from the bakery, she grabbed a large dripping chunk of it and ate it.
It took a couple minutes before the store owner noticed her, eating his pie. "Hey! Hey you, what in the world is your problem! You have to pay for that before you eat it!" He rushed over to Atropos, glaring at her.
"Pay for what? Oh, the pie. I don't have any money though." She pushed past the store owner, and found a strawberry cheesecake. She tried to grab that as well, but the man was grabbing her arms and pulling her away.
"Hey, I told you to stop! If you don't have any money then go away! Before I call the police!" the man shouted.
Atropos did not like being grabbed, and flung the man through the window and out into the street. She then began to eat the cheesecake, and then more of the blackberry pie, until she was satiated.
Outside, she noticed the man was trying to get his cellphone to work so he could call the police, but apparently it had been damaged from him landing on it. Atropos walked outside and threw ropes of black material around him, which had come from nowhere.
"Hey! What the-! Let go of me! What is this?!" the man began to panic. Atropos lifted him up by the black tentacles that bound him, smirking as she did so. "You're insane! Insane! Put me down!"
"Insane? That I am..." she threw the man against a wall, knocking him unconsious, or maybe dead. She left the black ropes there, releasing them from her arms. They quickly dematerialzed into a sticky black liquid.
"Well, now that I'm no longer hungry, let's see what else there is to do around here..." Before she continued walking she washed off her hands and face with more of the sticky black liquid, secreting it from her skin and using it to wash away the remains of the pie.
She turned a corner to see three people. Two of them were fighting over a "cake pole" as they both called it, each one claiming it to belong to them. The third seemed to be unnoticed by the other two, and was leaning against a wall. Atropos grabbed the pole from across the street and pulled it towards her with telekinesis.
"Now it's my cake pole," she said triumphantly.
"Don't pray for us
We don't need no modern Jesus
to roll with us
The only rule we need is never
The only faith we have is faith in us."
- index / codex / annex
Re: Demented Balls: Rise of the Mutant Peas [Anyone and everyone]
OoC: Sorry about the mess-up, guys, it’s set in modern/present day. And also, I'm still waiting for more people. xP
It was time to move, now. The ship had landed safely, avoiding detection from Earth authorities by firing a dud spaceship before the real one descended through the burning atmosphere. They had landed near a pea farm, just as planned. They would initiate the distribution of the first batches of HOs right here; then get the force-matured peas to help distribute the compound further. It was the perfect plan, even as Sgt. Pea pondered the different ways it could go wrong, the flaws seemed very unlikely to be exploited.
The Sergeant stood over his massive army once more, ready to issue his first set of commands for the operation. Hopefully, these commands would be followed, if they did, everything would go off with little problems. He looked over his army, his eyes shining, brimming, seeing the hope for the future of the Pea-kind on Lolded Earth. He would shed a tear, but his huge grey moustache would gobble it up like nothing.
And besides, now was not the time for tears. Now was the time to shout out commands as loud and as strong as his pea-lungs would allow!
“My brothers!” he shouted over the crowd’s minor mumbling, “the time is now! We have landed near a so-called ‘pea farm’. Each of your individual transportation has been outfitted with sprayers, to spray the HO on the soil with ease and swiftness! Now, gentlepeas! The time to act is now! Head to the loading bay and fire up your Roflcopters!”
There was a loud shout of agreement as the men threw their pea-sized hats into the air, while simultaneously filing out a nearby door. A few seconds later, the sound of whirring echoed throughout the metal structure, vibrating the whole ship.
Sgt. Pea grinned.
“Sir!” A voice came over the announcement system of the ship, “the takeoff went without a problem! The Roflcopters are spraying their tanks of HO’s all over the field! And it’s taking effect immediately! The peas are dropping off their pods and growing larger!”
The Sergeant grinned again. His moustache moved, “Excellent.”
“And now,” she said triumphantly, “it’s my cake pole.”
The place had become crowded fast. So far, the first one came in all hot and bothered, and then one guy came in who seemed to be pretty content--or bored. Then this girl came in, grabbing the pole with her invisible arms and bringing it to her. What would she want with it, anyway? Manic wondered, still lying with his head on the ground and his butt pressed up against the wall. His legs came over his head in such a way, that it seemed painful.
He pushed himself over, flowing with the way he’d landed and put his feet on the ground before his head left it. When Near stood upright again, he stretched, twisting his neck from side to side, and turned around.
“Raaarr!” He shook his fist jokingly, “Manic should go crazy for my cake pole being stolen!”
He jumped, grinned slightly and ran over to the lady who had just entered the scene, while flinging his arms and legs out loosely.
“But Manic thinks~”
He began running in circles around her.
“Manic thinks that girly could have it!” he stopped right in front of her, looking up into the sky and stroking his chin with his right hand, “but Manic also thinks that it tasted like rust. Does girl like rusty cake? No? Yes? It matte…”
For a second, it seemed as if he had lost that train of thought, but what had really happened was the train had switched tracks. He heard something in the distance; and whatever it was it was gradually getting closer. It was a tune, like something out of a fairy tale, with little bells and high pitched sounds, something that would attract children from around. There was a fresh breeze that accompanied the silence as a white van with pastel coloured patterns passed by, along with that fairy tale tune.
“…ICE CREAAAAMM~” Manic dropped everything, flinging his arms up into the air while making a beeline straight for the van. But he had made a mistake, the van was speeding up now, because the driver had seen the sun reflecting off of Near’s flashy talons.
“Chocolate, vanillia, coconut, pistachio, peanut, cookies and cream!! Waaait uppp~!” Manic shouted as the van began going faster. Of course, he could run right past it if he wished, but he had heard something about ‘the thrill of the chase’ and wanted to find out for himself what that was.
“Waaaiittt~” he cried again.
He rounded a corner, but was stopped in his tracks, running straight into a person wearing a black suit and dark glasses. The man did not speak, he stood completely still. Another man wearing the same attired approached them, holding out his hand to help the Clown up.
“Good day sir,” he said in a solemn voice, “We heard something odd was happening downtown, so we came to check it out. I’m Agent Dude Wun and--”
“Hiii, agent dude one!” Near grinned.
“Right…and the one you ran into is Agent Dud and--”
“Hiiii~ agent Dud!”
“Erm…he can’t speak. He’s a dud.”
A moment of silence. Near looked at Agent Dud for a second with thoughtful eyes, from head to toe, from toe to head.
He grinned again and flung his left arm up, waving.
“Hiii, agent dud!”
“Right. Sir, we’re going to need you to come with us. Some weird things are going down.”
Near pouted, looking up at the talking one. “But what if Manic doesn’t want to go?” Then, out of nowhere, the man pulled out an ice cream cone, loaded with a stack of different coloured ice cream. From his pocket, he pulled out a napkin, and wrapped it round the cream-coloured cone.