The Way of the Imp: Pip's Monastery [Training]

I'm fine with the edit.
*****
Fireball gathers his few belongs he had brought to this mountian top monastrey. He walks down the corridor to the training room were Pip is already starting with his next pupil.
Fireball pokes his head in the door and says, "Farewell master, may your paths cross again."
"Farewell may what you have learnt serve you well."

Soon Fireball is exiting the door he had entered not to long ago. Adjusting his pack he walks out into the snow and down a stairway carved into the stone of the mountain. Slow he heads for his next battle, where ever that may be.
****
Thanks for the training Pipking.

Name: Danek

Age: 21

Gender: male
Race: Hykah (Hylian/sheikah)

Hair Colour: Light brown
Favourite colour: Red
Eye Colour: Blue
Preferred hand: right
Weapon of choice: Curved Sword
Other weapons: Poison daggers/arrows
Clothing: Light breastplate under clothes. Normal peasant clothes.
Strengths: Can throw daggers at great accuracy, Can wield his sword with either hand, controls fire and earth
Weaknesses: Blind in left eye

Bio: Danek was born of royal hylian descent. His father was called to be the king of Hyrule but his father’s cousin got extremely angry that he was king so he killed him and proclaimed himself heir to the throne (cheesy, I know but best I could come up with.) Danek was very sad about his fathers’ death and he set out to find the one who had murdered hid dad. He learned from an old friend of the kings that it was his father’s cousin (whatever that’s called if it has a name) who had killed his dad. He hatched a plan. He crept into the castle, avoiding the guards, clambering through secret passageways shown on his father’s map until he finally came to the King’s chamber. He crept in. Unfortunately, the king was awake. This started a big battle. Danek was winning and was about to strike the final blow when the door swung open. The royal guards were there. The king used this opportunity to try and slice Danek’s head off. He missed and gauged Danek’s left eye out. The guards dragged Danek away to a dungeon. He escaped with outside help from his best friend Jaina.
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there's his profile, can i learn the way of the imp?

Alright pupils - clearly I'm not good at keeping the school up. I am making a vow to get through my current students as quickly as possible, but just so I'm not overwhelmed, Divine will be the last student I'm accepting until I get a handle on being a consistent teacher.

Sear, I'll be ready for you by the end of the day. Sorry about the wait.

Hey, that's alright, pip. I've been in a battle recently, so I've had enough to do.

Should I use a specific character for this? If so, I'll be using Jul 'Kaed. However, if it's unecessary, I'll just fight as myself, I suppose.

Well it depends... do you want to train a character, or yourself?

*is all mysterious*

Bleh, might as well use Jul 'Kaed, then. I'll await your introduction, unless you want me to write something up beforehand.

Await away. I'll have your scenerio by this evening when I get off work.

edit: And here is it.

***

Here is a new day - it bleeds gold through the bright fog which saturates the stones. Rolling tongues of mist lick your bootheels - you, the warrior Jul 'Kaed standing in the centre of the derelict temple. Sunlight sparkles through the canopy hanging over the broken dome - you can see bird of all shapes and sizes holding chorus above. Their sweet, sour voices echo around you, bouncing off the stones. You shift uncomfortably.

The sound grows - at first a ghost drifting harmlessly around the room - then quickened, and somewhat fattened, the sounds once soft now sharp. It pierces your ears, and your expression hardens.

Under the birdsong was a low pulse, which you dismiss as your own rushing blood. But as the birds grew louder, it picked up pace - as you listen intently, you barely note the sound of laughter.

"Jul 'Kaed," says a voice.

The birds quiet. All sound shrinks to the hiss of wind in the trees.

You look around - nothing. No - something. Somthing unseen. Your muscles tense - your staff* begs.

"You have come to learn, Jul 'Kaed. But I would first like to see what you've come to teach."

A blur appears in the mist to your right. Instantly your staff is out, quivering above the empty cobblestone you just struck. It's echo lasts longer than your ears say it should, and sure enough, you hear it bubble into laughter.

"This should be fun."

And before your eyes, kissing close, is a floating grin.

***

Here's the deal; you fight me. After each of your posts, I will write a brief critique, then continue the fight. You are already an able fighter and writer, so I figure this is the best way to proceed. Oh, and I'm using this system of footnotes to explain the choices I make when it comes to your character - because you know your character, you'll be able to say yes or no about my interpretation of him.

And I've left one obvious mistake in my post (which I made). What is it?

Go.

____________
Footnotes
* Here I've assumed you came to train, and so would be carrying a staff instead of a sword.

Oh yeah, I have a better and newer version of my character here.
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Name: Danek

Age: 21

Gender: male
Race: Hykah (Hylian/sheikah)

Hair Colour: Light brown
Favourite colour: Red
Eye Colour: Blue
Preferred hand: right
Clan: Din
Weapon of choice: Curved Sword
Other weapons: Poison daggers/arrows, Dins Fire
Clothing: Light breastplate under clothes. Normal peasant clothes.
Strengths: Can throw daggers at great accuracy, Can wield his sword with either hand, controls fire, earth and wind

Personality: Danek is quiet, yet when annoyed, can be very aggressive. He get’s very touchy on the subject of his father or his evil dad’s cousin.

Bio: Danek was born of royal hylian descent. His father was called to be the king of Hyrule but his father’s cousin got extremely angry that he was king so he killed him and proclaimed himself heir to the throne (cheesy, I know but best I could come up with.)

Danek was very sad about his fathers’ death and he set out to find the one who had murdered hid dad. He learned from an old friend of the kings that it was his father’s cousin (whatever that’s called if it has a name) who had killed his dad. He hatched a plan. He crept into the castle, avoiding the guards, clambering through secret passageways shown on his father’s map until he finally came to the King’s chamber. He crept in.

Unfortunately, the king was awake. This started a big battle. Danek was winning and was about to strike the final blow when the door swung open. The royal guards were there. The king used this opportunity to try and slice Danek’s head off. He missed and gauged Danek’s left eye out. The guards dragged Danek away to a dungeon. He escaped with outside help from his best friend Jaina.
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as you can see, I added a personality and clan section

The mistake? Obviously, Jul 'Kaed does not use a staff of any sort, but instead a large, nightmarish sword akin to a kris in design with a hilt wrought of a horned skull - just image it being similar to Nightmare's sword from SoulCalibur II if you need any help imagining.



***


The grin floating before Jul ‘Kaed’s weary eyes laughed out loud in a somewhat frightening and yet welcoming way. Darkness dissolved around it’s unseen lips, welling up like foam from a recently-shaken ale. It spurted forth generously, the haunting laughter flirting and jumping across the cracked stones, stirring past emotions within him. For the briefest moment he considered sprinting away from this foul thing, but The Master quickly silenced such foolish thoughts with a burst of pain which inched through every cranny and niche of his fragmented body.

He’d fight – it was The Master’s will.

As the mists collected, the laugh grew slower, slower, slower, until it was a draw-out affair, nearly impossible to discern from rumbling thunder or the rush of a pouring tempest. It drowned out everything else, and even his Master’s commands became somewhat hard to follow. Jul ‘Kaed took a fleeting step back and levelled his fearsome demonic blade toward the shadow, which was now condensed into a small and alluring black-as-pitch cube. All activity ceased as the final shadows wafted and were drawn into the box. It then hovered there, for a moment slightly, then dropped to the ancient floor.

After eyeing it for a minute, Jul ‘Kaed took a scan of the immediate area, and upon seeing nothing, took an experimental step toward the innocent-looking box. Nothing happening, he took yet another pace, and then another, and then another, until he was standing directly in front of the strange thing. He gazed at it for some time, the cries of the birds returning. Odd, he had not noticed that they had left in the first place.

And then, at his Master’s command, he turned on his heel. Behind him stood a small, imp-like creature, black as the night itself, with two glowing golden eyes. They met Jul ‘Kaed’s cold blue ones, and the imp grinned knowingly.



***


Just followed your format in using the asterisks and the italics. I don't have a whole lot of time at the moment, seeing as how I'm study as well as browsing about four message boards simultaneously.

:::laughs::: ^^ hehe, i don't think that's the mistake he was going for, dear... especially considering his footnote.

It's echo lasts longer than your ears say it should, and sure enough, you hear it bubble into laughter.

^Pip's

Darkness dissolved around it’s unseen lips, welling up like foam from a recently-shaken ale.

^Yours.

tee-hee. ^_^

:::scurries off:::