Calendar Awards Forum Leaders List Members List FAQ
Advertisement

 
$ LinkBack Thread Tools
 
  #1 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-13-2008, 03:49 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Amberstone's Training

(OoC: This is a little better than how I normally write with Amberstone. Skycry means rain. 468 words. Takes place a week after Unhealthy Interests.)

Amberstone continued to look for somewhere to sleep for the night, despite it still being around noon. With what I’ve learned from my mother, it’s best to find a spot to stay in, in case something happens, like a sudden skycry. She bounded along the forest floor, not caring for her thudding steps on the dry and dusty ground, her head moving left and right.

The cub’s copper scales glinted every now and then in the noon sunlight, despite the trees overhead. Somewhere that will keep me from getting wet would be nice, since the last two areas I slept in were bushes… She slowed to a trot, still looking around her. Thunder came out of the crawling clouds behind her, which forced the gargoyle into a run.

Coming up to a stream, she stopped and tried to look into the water, but the bright sunlight hindered her view. She growled slightly, “Well, only one way to check it now…” Amberstone raised her right front paw, and dipped it into the water. It was cold, but her paw hit the rocks underneath quickly, only going up to her wrist. After crossing the small river, she continued to run from the storm, but knew it would catch up to her soon.

The beige fabric that was wrapped around her waist and tail fluttered in the rushing wind that the gargoyle made as she weaved around various trees. Why it was there was due to her watching humans, with how they dress. That and she just liked it. The thunder got louder, and the flashes of lightning were starting to illuminate the forest.

The plant life around Amberstone began to blur as she broke into a sprint, until she came onto a rocky outcropping. She noticed an entrance into the rocks and trotted over to it, as a bolt of lightning hit somewhere close by, the thunder made her jump slightly. Looking into the cave entrance, the cub saw fangs of rock on the ceiling, before vanishing into the darkness.

Another lightning flash lit up the dark cave, a door was sunk into the back wall. What the…? Rain came down in a huge cluster, it felt like needles sinking into her skin in-between the gargoyle’s scales. This made her dart into the entrance, before looking into a gray haze of the storm. Shaking some of the water off of her, Amberstone approached the door.

She never has seen a door, so she just stared at it. The door was made of stone, but much lighter than the surrounding rock. That’s all that she could see, due to the random flashes of lightning helping her sight, then destroying it with darkness. Another bolt and it’s roar followed, but the cub noticed something odd. The door was glowing from the inside.
__________________
Last Edited by Wisp Quill; 11-29-2008 at 08:24 PM. Reason: Just remembered something...
  #2 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 01-03-2009, 02:39 AM
Power Shot Power Shot is a male Greece Power Shot is offline
R.I.P. Trooper- 6/25/94 - 3/7/11

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Wherever God Takes Me...
View Posts: 11,963
Re: Amberstone's Training

I like this. I expect it to be rather interesting.

Assignment Time!

Having arrived at this...door, well, it opens right up! Nervous, Amberstone makes her way in, where she discovers what appears to be a little piece of wind and mist that can talk! It's called a Domerii, and it can communicate with Amberstone, being very wise and thus knowledgeable in different forms of communication. Talk to it, and it shall explain that she is expected by a Master of the Dome, but first must help the Domerii attend to a slight problem in the gardens.

End with the Domerii describing the problem, I'll let you make it up. 700 word minimum.
__________________

Signature by the Sinfully Delicious Lady Knives

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anime_Queen, about Power Shot
[11:35:27 AM] Anime_Queen says: thing is,
[11:35:41 AM] Anime_Queen says: it IS unfair that all tehse ideas and vocal taents belong to the one person >.<
[11:35:48 AM] Anime_Queen says: quite unfortunate
  #3 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 01-26-2009, 03:52 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Assignment 1: Meeting a Domerii

(OoC: 812 words, sensei.)

The door groaned loudly over the storm’s fury, causing Amberstone to jump back and squint her eyes as the light behind the door almost blinded her. She looked back out of the entrance of the cave, a solid sheet of rain was still present, which made the light seem even brighter than normal. The cub turned back to the light, able to open her eyes a bit more and cautiously approached the open door.

The ground underneath her feet gave no telling that she was somewhere else, even the cave she had entered looked the same, minus it being wider. Another groan caused her to look over her shoulder once more, there was no door there, just a gray rock wall. Well, I can't go back now... A crackling sound she recognized as a fire and glanced upwards to see a couple of torches lining the cave walls.

The torches flickered as a gust of wind came at her, dragging fog behind it. The cub didn't think of this as odd, before an orb of fog moved towards her on it's own. The gargoyle stepped away from it instantly, What the...?! The fog orb was larger than she was, despite it hovering off the ground. Wind coiled around the orb still, while the rest stopped rushing towards her.

The orb began to growl at her, before shifting to various mews and grunts. Amberstone's ears perked up at that, and understood it's speech, but she still thought it was odd, and decided to do something different. “I don't mean to interrupt, but I can talk human, if that helps you,” her mouth moved fluidly during that, as if she wasn't an animal at all.

“Oh. Ok, then... as I was saying; A Master of the Dome has been expecting you...” The fog-thing seemed to notice the cub's sudden confusion, before explaining further. “A teacher is what I meant by Master...”

The gargoyle spoke up for a moment, “Oh. Sorry about that then... You were saying...?”

The fog orb bounced up and down, as if it was nodding. “There's a slight problem though... one that I can't handle, since I'm like this...”

Amberstone looked at the ball of wind and vapor for a moment, and saw for a faint second, the shape of some kind of small bird within it. That's strange... “Um, sorry to bother again, but what are you...? You seem to be something like a bird, right?”

The fog around the both of them seemed to tighten slightly, hindering her view of the surrounding cave even more. The cub mewed for a second, Did I say something wrong...?

“What am I...? Oh, I'm sorry, I never explained that,” it's voice became a bit chirpy on it's own, “I am a Domerii, a servant of the Dome, and to the teachers. You say I'm a bird...? You have good eyes, gargoyle,” it's voice went to a more informative twitter of sorts, “As for the problem... oh dear... I seemed to have forgotten it for the moment.”

The bird flew off without making a sound and the orb followed it, vanishing into the thick vapor wall. It seemed to be thick enough to blot out the torches, yet their crackle could still be heard, echoing in the cave.

A chirp stuck out from the song of the burning sticks. Amberstone's ears perked up, before the bird in the orb came back out of the fog. “I remembered what the problem was... I was too busy panicking and running through the halls... it's in the gardens, a trio of centaurs have chased everyone out and are tearing it apart. I tried to stop them... but since I'm nothing more than fog, I wasn't able to do a thing. Good luck, I must be going now, young gargoyle.” With that the orb in-cased bird flew off, and the fog in the cave thinned out quickly, leaving her behind.

The cub's tail flicked left and right, before she started to walk forwards, with no other way to go since the odd door vanished. I don't even know where the gardens are... and what is a centaur...?
__________________
Last Edited by Wisp Quill; 01-27-2009 at 09:42 AM. Reason:
  #4 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 09-27-2009, 05:22 PM
Petal Rabbit Petal Rabbit is a female Petal Rabbit is offline
Deku Scrub
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In another rabbit burrow
View Posts: 10
Re: Amberstone's Training

(Bump with Puck's permission.)
__________________
~*I used to be Wisp Quill*~
My Character List < Yes, I know they are under my old username here, I'm going to move them eventually.
  #5 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 09-28-2009, 09:16 PM
Puck Puck is offline
Burning hooves means Littlepip is watching...
Send a message via AIM to Puck
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manehatten
View Posts: 15,588
Re: Amberstone's Training

ASSIGNMENT TIME

Centaurs are tearing up the garden, oh noes! The gardener wont be happy to find all his pretty flowers have turned to mulch. I guess Amberstone should stop them before the gardener comes back in...ten minutes, oh dear she should get to work. So yeah..

No restrictions I just want to see what you can do now that I;m taking over. I hope Power Shot doesn't hurt me.
  #6 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 09-28-2009, 10:40 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Re: Amberstone's Training

(OoC: This brought me out of my writer's block... now only if it doesn't come back.)

BiC: Amberstone stumbled out of a stone door, and fell to the floor as it slid close. Ok… that was strange… She caught the faint sound of hooves nearby, and cautiously continued onward, her metal paws clanking on the cavern floor, still coated in a light fog, possibly from that Domerii bird she had met earlier.

As she came into a marbled corridor, she smelled the grass from the gardens close by, as well as a scent she was unfamiliar with that caused her nose to crinkle up. She had smelled the scent of horses before, but this scent was different, like a wet rug mixing in musty fabric or something similar that weaved into the horse smell. What is that? Could that be from those centaur-things? The Vassyr cub mewed slightly as she entered the torn up gardens, she finally saw the horse-people she was looking for.

They had also spotted her as well, mostly due to her copper scales had caught the odd sunlight within the garden room, had glinted onto a leaning tree close to them. The garden was easily seen as a wreckage from the attacks of the horse-men; grass and dirt were intermixed with flower petals, a fountain was spewing it’s water from several cracks, broken benches with hoof prints dug into the compacted ground near where the three marauders stood. They seemed to stand at a moose's height from where Amberstone stood, a good six, almost seven feet tall.

They all seemed to be built like a bear and bull, designed to be as strong as they appeared. A heavily scarred centaur snorted before he spoke, and trotted a bit toward her. “Well, what beast do we have here? A dragon?” His tone seemed more of a heckled mockery than any seriousness that he seemed to appear as.

The other shared a booming laughter, as they spread out and away from the first. “So, should we just add this ’un to our legacies, Leader Trahg?” The one that had spoken only seemed to own a blue feathered bracer on his left writ that spread to his elbow. The remaining centaur had a fanged necklace on, and a sheathed stone dagger bound to his right wrist.

“But of course, Jeel,” the scarred one; Leader Trahg, stated. “Why don’t you get us started, Kirgis?” The daggered one nodded and broke into a gallop towards Amberstone, grinning down at her as if she was no threat at all.

The cub crouched down, and shattered her wings, which caused the centaurs to momentarily share the same confusion. She began to be covered in her white Life Spark as she charged the now slowed Kirgis, who was still in shock. Her own voltage seemed to claw towards him before she impacted with his legs, webs of her element snaked around him as he centaur crumpled to the ground, nearly pinning her underneath his now dead mass.

Trahg and Jeel seemed frozen, before they both bellowed a blood-chilling roar as they simultaneously charged at her with all speed. They seemed to have forgotten her scales, as they had focused so much upon her and their comrade’s jittery death, that their charge was halted by a lightning bolt cage.

Jeel failed to notice it and crashed headlong into it, before he fell to the ground, paralyzed. The leader had stopped within the center of the cage and reared up. “You vile dragon! Prepare to be slain, do not hide behind your storm… face me!”

Amberstone’s scales floated back to her wings and re-fused to her wings’ skin. She did not reply to his taunt, but charged towards him, her Life Spark coiling around her paws and mouth. Trahg leapt over her and delivered a sharp kick to her back, sending her sprawling to the ground, mewling in pain. The cub wobbly stood back up, and broke her wings again, but they held together by electrical chains.

Turning around, she managed to catch him within her wings, and the air around Trahg exploded with her lightning. Amberstone felt the jolt as well, coupled with her earlier attacks and the kick, she fell with the leader of the small band of centaur, but she was the only one still alive among the torn up garden; grass and dirt were intermixed with flower petals, a fountain was spewing it’s water from several cracks, broken benches with hoof prints dug into the compacted ground near where the three centaur.
__________________
Last Edited by Wisp Quill; 11-08-2009 at 10:47 PM. Reason:
  #7 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 10-08-2009, 12:19 AM
Puck Puck is offline
Burning hooves means Littlepip is watching...
Send a message via AIM to Puck
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manehatten
View Posts: 15,588
Re: Amberstone's Training

You didn't have to kill them xD Looks fairly solid, I am not going to tear it apart yet...still trying to get a feel on your style. I will mention at the beginning you messed up the tense so fix that. Other than that...

ASSIGNMENT TIME
The Gardner comes back just after the fight with the terrible threesome, and he's not happy. Seeing as Amberstone is is the only person left he assumes she caused the mess and is not happy about it. Cue fight. The gardener just happens to be a powerful mage and after the battle Amberstone is caught, and taken to the Gardener's Supervisor. End it thar.
  #8 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-18-2009, 11:43 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Assignment 3: The Gardener

“What did you do to my garden?!”

Amberstone groaned as she wobbly stood up, “W-who?” Looking around, she spotted a man shouting something at her, unable to hear it from her ears ringing. For a moment, the man had split into three, before returning to a shadowed silhouette. O-ok… need to not move for a while… and I’ll be fine. I hope… She plopped back to the floor as she faintly caught the sound of rushing wind.

The Gardener had summoned up a whirlwind towards the cub, which easily picked her up despite her weight and threw her into the far wall. She struggled to get up, her Life Spark faintly coiled around her jaws and staggered a bit, as she tried to charge at the man.

He only saw her slightly weaving towards him as she ran, only to impact a wind formed wall and collapse in a heap. Sighing, he muttered, “Now, what to do with you…? Maybe the boss would like to see you.” Focusing for a moment, Amberstone was floating on a plank of air, being lead by the Gardener as he walked down the halls towards his supervisor’s room.
__________________
  #9 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-21-2009, 07:45 PM
Puck Puck is offline
Burning hooves means Littlepip is watching...
Send a message via AIM to Puck
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manehatten
View Posts: 15,588
Re: Amberstone's Training

As we talked about before I find that's a great way to describe a one-time NPC. I notice often in the EH many people try to describe everything in perfect detail even when they don't matter; when it's easier and quicker to leave some details out. Such as the appearance of a NPC who doesn't really matter. The trick to writing, I find, is to be clear without killing the reader with superfluous information. That's your lesson today~

BIC:

"Sir," The Gardner said, walking into his supervisors office, "I found this...err...thing tearing up my garden," With a wave of his hand the gargoyle floated into the room. The supervisor walked towards the struggling beast, only to have it snap at his outstretched hand.

"I've never seen one of these before..." He stopped for a second to gather his thoughts, "Take it to the research laboratory for testing, they like playing with mythological creatures,"

"But sir, that's inhumane."

"Just do it,"




ASSIGNMENT TIME

Well, unless Amberstone likes getting dissected I would suggest she get's out of there. Have her escape into the halls of the dome with the two of them giving chase. End it...Lets say whenever you would like.
  #10 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-25-2009, 11:41 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Assignment 4: The Escape

Amberstone just listened for a moment, I’ve been like this before, and I didn’t like it. So, I can only guess at what this human means. Anything like that other man… No. She tugged at her bonds on the air plank, and before the gardener could react, she slammed the edge of one of her free wings into him, and felt the plank give way.

“You little-!” The cub had swiftly turned towards the still open door, whipping the supervisor with her dinosaur-like tail. The only reason why he was on the ground was from the slight spark line that twitched around him. “Don’t--just stand there--you idiot! Help me up!”

The two men stumbled out the door together, seeing the Vassyr’s tail heading around the corner, before they ran after her. The gardener called up another whirlwind to try and slow her down, but it just crashed into another wall as the hall broke off into six other walkways.

The gargoyle was oblivious to the parts of the corridor that were shifting around her, and kept on running, as her Life Spark began to slowly recover, coiling around her paws. Amberstone finally skid to a halt within a marbled hallway, lined with various doors. Ok, now I’m lost. Well, at least those men didn‘t catch up…
__________________
  #11 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 11-26-2009, 08:53 PM
Puck Puck is offline
Burning hooves means Littlepip is watching...
Send a message via AIM to Puck
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manehatten
View Posts: 15,588
Re: Amberstone's Training

Very good, as expected.

BiC:

Kaze was having a good day. He had just come out of a very good meeting with a fellow Teacher, and was able to get a lot done. Making his way to his room The Wind mage was lost in his mind as he tried to sort out all he had learned. Then it hit him.

"What the hell," Kaze's head slammed hard against the marble floor. When his eye sight straightened again Kaze saw the strangest little creature laying on his chest. "Watch where you are going," Kaze said motioning for the gargoyle to move off of him. Getting to his feet and dusting off his cape the grand Archmage heard two voices calling down the hall. "Oh not them. No wonder you where running." Snapping his fingers a wall appeared where there was none before, cutting off the route Amberstone had taken.

"That should get rid of them. You must be tired," Kaze said, eyeing the creature, "Follow me. I wont bite,"

ASSIGNMENT
Amberstone should decide to follow the mage, as he did just save her. Kazw will lead the gargoyle to a small room with a bed. After her ordeal I can imagine she must be tired. Have her dream about a perfect world.
  #12 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 03-19-2010, 09:43 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Assignment 5: Kaze

(OoC: The broken glass is just a little nod towards Omentus, one of Drammor's characters.)

Amberstone first looked at the man, then back to where the wall now was, Ok… how did he…? She heard him as he continued walking away, and trotted off after him. She noticed that he looked like the night sky, due to this large sheet draped over him. The cub's paws clanking on the ground easily drowned out his steps, as she continued to trot near the man.

Eventually, the man stopped at a door, and opened it. “You can sleep here.” After that, he left her, just looking into the room. It seemed basic, with just a low bed, with a log-like frame around it. The Vassyr was still cautious, but exhaustion made her shuffle into the room and curl up on the bed, instantly purring as she slept.

-------- Dream ---------

The whole cliff-side meadow was fuzzy to her, Amberstone saw herself cuddling up to her mother, as they slept in the sunlight. The whole scene was swallowed up by the golden-green grass as is swayed in the breeze, and she focused on a rock near the tree line.

There was just broken glass in that one spot, glinting in the sunlight.
__________________
Last Edited by Wisp Quill; 03-19-2010 at 09:46 PM. Reason:
  #13 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 03-22-2010, 09:49 PM
Puck Puck is offline
Burning hooves means Littlepip is watching...
Send a message via AIM to Puck
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manehatten
View Posts: 15,588
Re: Amberstone's Training

I know you've been having writers block. I wish I could help with that. :<

ASSIGNMENT TIME
Okay here is what we are going to do. Amberstone's dream will turn from a good dream to a bad. The Nightmare will turn into all of her worst fears come true. She will awaken at the end, but in a grassy field instead of her bed.
  #14 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 03-25-2010, 10:57 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Training Assignment 6 - Dream to Nightmare

(OoC: The brackets at the end are just me trying to show that Amberstone isn't exactly speaking like a human, but in her animal way. Coming out of my block thankfully, but I just can't add much description to this. v.v )

Clouds quickly began to gather overhead, as Amberstone slept under her mother's wing. A wind began to blow and it strangely caused the glass to jingle, and made the cub raise her head to look for the sound. As she did this, a shadowed hand floated out of the tree line, attached to nothing.

She moved back, but did not feel her mother there anymore, and glanced over to find that she was gone. The hand lunged at her during this, and grabbed her by a paw, causing her to cry out and tugged herself free, then bolted away, into the now blackened forest. Darts began to strike the tree trunks, as she called out for her mother in fear. Hands kept coming out of every shadow and grabbing at the cub.

The gargoyle lept into a cave, the same one she grew up in, still mewling in terror as hands floated after her. Another dart struck the wall, just barely over her head and caused her to jump away from it, smacking into another wall.

Amberstone fell to the ground, only to become pinned by a massive shadow hand, just as a dart flew at her.


[“Mother!”] The cub woke up in a panic, and on her back. She instinctively flipped back onto her stomach, and shrunk back, able to hear her pounding pulse in her ears as she panted. Amberstone looked around at the matted grass, before she inched her head out to check her surroundings, appearing to be almost like a turtle.

The copper-silver Vassyr kept calling out, only sounding like she was softly yelping, calling out for her mother with a frightened expression on her face.
__________________
  #15 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-09-2010, 10:14 PM
Puck Puck is offline
Burning hooves means Littlepip is watching...
Send a message via AIM to Puck
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manehatten
View Posts: 15,588
Re: Amberstone's Training

Some people use < > to indicate different speech. Is not to bad. Much better then some writing I see. lets see lets see.

Let me ask you something before we continue. What aspect of writing are you most looking to approve? Next assignment depends on your answer. =3
  #16 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-09-2010, 10:34 PM
Wisp Quill Wisp Quill is a female United States Wisp Quill is offline
Shaman Keybearer
Steam ID: wispquill 3DS ID: PM first plz - 3626-0443-4574
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
View Posts: 1,644
Re: Amberstone's Training

I would say detail is a problem I have. Also fighting; I tend to describe everything basic.

I'm not 100% sure. I guess I have problems with a bit of everything. v.v
__________________
  #17 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 04-09-2010, 10:37 PM
Puck Puck is offline
Burning hooves means Littlepip is watching...
Send a message via AIM to Puck
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manehatten
View Posts: 15,588
Re: Amberstone's Training

I think you are very good. if fighting is what you would like help with..and detail. yes yes, I have an idea.

ASSIGNMENT TIME
Amber is to wake up to find herself alone. When she leaves the room she will find herself in a battle arena. She has to fight a character of your choice, so describe him as you will. The post will end with either Amber winning, or losing, at your choice. Simple enough right? =3
 

Tags
amberstone, training, [power shot]


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Advertisement

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:54 PM.

Copyright © 2014 Zelda Universe - Privacy Statement -