[Gracie] Jhans' training.

This follows on from
Field trip - which was a multi student education with my amigos Duke and Kiryama. I apologise for the shortness.

(Ic)

Jhans sits in a tunnel of snow nursing the unhatched egg. It is of questionable morale, and Jhans does not know how to raise a chick, but it lay motionless in the nest. Cadenza's smell still lingers on her foot steps - if Jhans tries hard he can make out the thin lines of her mouth - inprinted through scent. He had been left, and told to wait.

And wait he did.

This forest is somewhere on the Fais plains - and the foilage was bending under the weight of the falling snow. The forest resembles a cave - lightened tunnels glide out in all directions, with tall, noble trees as the supporting pillars. The door back to the ever shifting dome forms a stark contrast against the whitened landscape - and the brown needles of the pine's underbranches fall around his shoulders. The air smells of stale life, and won't see direct sunlight for months. It is a serene, peaceful landscape and Jhans revels in the calming snow.

And so he waits...

One mistake, and that was with the ‘hard’ in the first paragraph.

1st Assignment

IC:

“What’s he waiting for?”

“The woman you’re replacing. Apparently, he thinks she’s going to come back.”

Groaning inwardly at his predecessor for leaving him in such an awkward position, Drakon pushed his hat further down onto his head.

“Elisud, go retrieve him for me. I’ve got to go sort something out with Arios about Kellson.”

“Kellson?”

“The other student Cadenza left behind. He’ll probably know Jhans.”

Shaking his body as a shiver passed through his spine, the draconic being switched forms, instantly towering over the man before him.

“When you get him back, direct him to his room if he had one before. If not, get him a room, and make sure he brings that egg with him. I’ll be back as soon as this is sorted out.”

Drakon crouched low to the floor, his wings spread out on each side of him. Waiting until the precise moment, the draconic being launched himself up into the air, his wings beating furiously. Soon enough, he disappeared.

OOC: Have the door to the Dome open, and this person walk through. He’ll announce himself as Elisud, an assistant to his new teacher. Describe him in as much detail as possible, using the picture provided. Once all the pleasantries are through, Elisud will ask Jhans to come back with him to the Dome with the egg. Once he steps through, they’ll both be back in the Dome, with students running all around them. Elisud will then make his way through the hordes of students, and Jhans must follow him. He’ll eventually lead Jhans to his old room if he had one, or a new one if you so desire. Describe it in detail, and end the post with Elisud disappearing in a puff of grey smoke.

400 word minimum.

The door opens as quiet as the four-legged rodent of your choice.

Jhans dozes, the egg before him in the freezing snow. In this windless place, the air is as still as is well possible - and he can still make out the shapes of his comrades - Kellson, Dark child, Cadenza and the hedgehog Norman. He can smell them, an extra dimension over the charcoal lines of sight and touch. There is a strange movement of air.
Almost without realising it, Jhans is on his feet, shackles raised and teeth bared - as a figure lands before him on ragged wings of jet.

"Who are you?" Jhans spits the words, turning the question into an outraged growl. How did he come here without me noticing?

"I am Elisud." The newcomer speaks in imperial tones, stark and clear - but they seem to reverberate in odd ways. He waves an arm in a passive gesture, and he seems to leave no scent that Jhans can find. The bear stands down - not yet comfortable in the stranger's presence. He hasn't attacked me yet... he wants me to leave...

As Elisud opens his mouth to speak, a bough; before groaning under the strain of the snow, snaps and releases its burden onto the ground - abolishing the painting of scents that displayed Jhans' abandoning comrades. Not nearly as real as they seem. They're not going to come back?

"I wish you to come with me," The newcomer says, barely glancing at the snowdrift, barely squinting at the newly- entered light. Jhans looks round - the forest a dripping expanse of reflected golden sunlight. He has what Jhans has heard described as a handsome face. He wears small insignias of various causes; religions, guilds, circles. He stands quite still, staring fixedly at Jhans with slitted blue eyes. He bears a strange cloak, which gives protection only to the right arm - despite wearing leather vambraces. His features are almost unkind.

"Whom do you work for?"

"My master is your new tutor. He will attempt to meet you soon - and he expects you to be there." Jhans felt his insides give a sigh. This was it. They'd given him up.

Jhans scooped up the egg, surprisingly warm yet surrounded with snow, and slipped it into his pack. He turned to Elisud.

"And I shall meet him."

~:†:~

The dome once again bustled with students. All colours and creeds bustled in the mighty chamber. Jhans strides among them, as they carry planks and ropes and supplies. The entire system seems to involve moving said items between piles. Elisud reaches a wide spiral staircase and runs - wings flapping so his toes barely need grace each step. Jhans clanks after him, passing three between each stride. Door after door they pass, each one oaken and thick-set, with iron locks and inforcements. After some time, Elisud opens one with a heavy iron key.

"This one's yours, bear."

A bed of straw is one corner of the large semicircular room, which has a large window covered with wooden blinds and many alcoves. the floor is covered with straw, and there is a large, ruined siege weapon - crossbow like in it's remains - up by the outer wall. There is a chest, a timepiece and a tapestry depicting a great battle between Dwarf and Troll. The roof is high; it and the walls are made from round-cornered, unequal Square 'cobbles'. High above are the remains of a bell. There must be hundreds of similar rooms - but the magic of the dome made each seem as though they were at the very top of a mighty tower.

With a grunt, Jhans hangs his maul on a large iron hook by the door and pads over to the window, which he opens. A cooling breeze accompanies a wooded landscape view. Jhans turns to thanks Elisud.

It takes him a moment to distinguish the shape. Elisud's form is a tangle of mists, which evaporates with a noise that is barely heard, but felt - and so Jhans is left to wait.

(OoC)

680 words. I shall try make an effort to be more punctual in future, sir.

Hehe, it's great to be back teaching you, Awky! I'll be using Hunter until "Her Rebellion" is resolved and we see what sort of state Cadenza returns in. That will be explained story-line wise in this assignment:

IC:
Beyond the kingdom of Choras, there is a door to a realm few know exists. Never has one aware of its existence at the very edge of their realm stepped into the dimension, for they fear their imagination could not even fathom, nor could their mind ever comprehend the wonders there. And only one from the other side has ever crossed over into the world of Medina.

At first, the woman had entered to plunder and deceive. But now she left attached to the door a request for help.

Prince Hunter Merridale, the only man in all of Medina with the fortitude to dare become the second to pass through the door, would answer. On a morning stroll through the woods on his mare, Mannie, he caught sight of the elaborate green door to which his friend Cadenza Madrigal had notified him of before. And there, scrabbled in a rough, quick manner in mascara was a note, attached to the wooden surface by a strange plastic material Hunter deduced was the “tape” the gypsy once explained to him.

Hunter removed the note from the door with care, and read aloud:
I've been summoned to Rubato, but I will return. Merridale, if you’re reading this: please fill in for me at the Dome, and watch over Avello.

I’ll be back alive. You can count on it.

-Cadenza

Hunter wasn’t sure what to make of the note. Has Cadenza gone mad? She wishes for me to be a…a substitute teacher? I have a war to fight and a country to defend! I cannot lay around idle in some “Dome” and teach students!

He sighed and glanced over the note again. It was written so very quickly, haphazardly, the letters were erratic in neatness and darkness, and trailed off the end of the page on the last “it.” What on Medina had pressured Cadenza to write in such a panicked manner? …I cannot bring myself to ignore this call for aid. While I am not able to stay at this Dome full-time, perhaps I can pop in every now-and-again, and give her students a lesson.

Studying the note further, Hunter discovered a folded-up map pinned to the back. Unraveling it, he saw that the map was of the “Dome” the note spoke of, and had two dorms circled in mascara.

These must be the dorms of her students! he realized. Wonderful, there seems to only be two! I will not have to stray from Choras long.

Stuffing the note and map into a bag, Hunter hitched Mannie to a tree and left her with some oats and water. He then turned the knob of the strange green door—and entered the realm of the Dome.

OoC:
Jhans will open the door of his dorm to find Hunter waiting outside. Have him confuse Hunter for the teacher Elisud spoke of, after which Hunter will explain that he is "filling in until a more permanent teacher can be found."

Afterwards, Hunter will tell Jhans of his position as a military commander, and inform him that he enjoys getting to know his comrades on a personal level. He will then invite Jhans on a walk around the dorm, both to familiarize Hunter with the building, and for them to talk. Whatever they end up speaking about is up to you.

700 words minimum, but quality's really what counts, so don't worry too much if it falls short.

I could sit here for a million years before a teacher arrives, Jhans thought in the solitary confinements of his room. The egg lay next to him, swaddled in a blanket. Cadenza was always waiting for me, not the other way round.

Over the last few days the room had been adjusted to comfort a bear. A bare armour stand stand by the window, a basin of clear rainwater is on the sill and bits of the siege weapon were loaded in the sea chests, and ready to cause any casual thief permanent digestive trouble. And that was just to keep Jhans occupied. Bears were made to be solitary, but they are not often made to wait. Jhans padded to the door, and swung it open.

In the doorway, leaning on a spear and reading a scroll, was the prince. Jhans alighted upon him with little surprise. He came to seek a man - and this was the sort he had expected.

"You come not a minute too soon, Human. Par soon I would be on my way away from here - three days and you reach me only just in time." The prince rolled up his scroll and turned his handsome face to meet the Bear's. What had just been said bounced off his smiling face.

"Greetings. I am Hunter, prince of Merridale. I've searched for thee many hours."

"Jhans Frenn, I am ashamed to be associated with the Panserbjørne. Your servant left me days ago, Prince. He should have told you." Jhans looked at the relatively slight figure, in his resplendent armour and flowing hair. he looked genuinely confused.

"Of servants, I have not. Thine charge is mine of Cadenza Madrigal. I am filling in until she returns, or a more permanent teacher is found." Ah. More games - or is he sincere?

"Come your majesty. Do you wish to eat?"

"I would like to walk with you Jhans, and see more of this Dome. It is a foreign principle to me - and I am intrigued."
Clumsily shutting the door, Jhans sets off along the walkway. Merridale strolls comfortably alongside, perfectly at ease in the Bear's presence.

"I enjoy getting to know comrades on a more personal level. A thousands separate stories. What is yours?" Jhans relaxed. This man had seen war, he had the relaxed soldier's dullness - mixed with natural charisma.

"I come from Svalbard - the land of the Old bear king. I guarded his son - I rode into battle and won my pride. And then the world was torn my unbearlike things - envy, greed and lust for power." Jhans spat the words, these were not bear things. These came when Bears tried to act like humans, the problem was that bears were better at it than humans were. Jhans didn't voice this thought.

"They are the downfall of many kingdoms."

"We weren't a kingdom - we were a force. If anything we were united, not ruled. And now the usurper Fritgof controls most of the northern seas, and makes war along the Ievan Seaboard. He is an unpredictable as the wind, and thrice as powerful."

"Yes - the Panserbjørne are fearsome fighters. You've only truly seen them fight if you were on their side." At this Jhans allowed himself a little inward smile. But, as always, he appeared impassive and cold to the beholder.

They passed on a high, narrow stone bridge with scalloped arches and baskets of apples. Jhans skewers one on a claw and tosses it to Hunter, who gives a grunt of appreciation.

"There exists Evil Kings, here - think of day and night." Hunter tosses the apple between hands. "Each must pass in due turn - and without one nobody would appreciate the true beauty of the other. Also, without both existing, neither of them would even happen."

"Gnah - that is true. The day must suffer the night to pass. Or else the day has no shape." Jhans pauses as hunter takes a bite out of the apple before continuing; "Tell me, where are you from?" Hunter crosses his arms over the balustrade, and let the wind catch his hair.

"I am from the city of Remanor - in Choras. I fled for reasons of my own - and for freedom. I may return when the throne lies open, but I am my own man until then." Jhans was many years Hunter's senior - but the prince held respect. As they set back through the dorm, the dome predented a route with viaducts and gardens.

(OoC)
750 words to a degree of accuracy, Ma'am!

Good, good! A few typos were scattered here and there, but nothing major enough to point out. You did a wonderful job with Hunter's character. I was very impressed. Writing conversation has always seemed to be a strong point of yours.

Now then, onto the next assignment:

Hunter informs Jhans that he will not be able to stay at the Dome full-time, as a war is going on in his country as they speak. He has to attend a war council that afternoon in the city of Bartholomew, Choras, and realizes he must leave for it once they return to Jhans' dorm. Feeling guilty about leaving his new student before they had more time to talk, he asks if Jhans would like to come along, saying that Choras could use a mind like his in strategizing.

Have your post end with the adjourning of the war council. No word minimum.

Thanks - I actually find them quite hard. 1500 words.

(Ic)

"Alas Jhans," Hunter says as they approach the dorm stairs again, "I must away - my country is at war. This very day I must attend a council at Bartholomew back in my city. It pains me to leave after we have met so briefly." Far off, the Dome's great clock tower strikes the hour of noon.

The mighty tolls dull the speech to the casual listener, and the Bear's growling tones mingled with the sound as he spoke.

"The Rigs of the Times, Hunter. I shall wait for your return."

"But I should not leave you again without a teacher before even your first lesson! And yet I must leave now to make it on time." Hunter durged.

"I have waited before, friend. I will be fine." They reach Jhans' room - and they separated with a slight bow. Jhans made to unlock the door. Hunter trotted down a dozen steps, and then turned. Jhans smiled - that made him at least eleven steps brighter than Hunter was.

"Wait - how would you like to help Me?" He advanced back up the stairs towards the bear. "We could use a mind like yours, and you may well learn from sitting at a council of war."

"The Bears held war councils - but I hear Humans plan through different gates. Regardless, I shall come."

"Good. We will hurry - it begins in an hour."


~:†:~

As the Dome shifts constantly, the external doors have been known to move also.

Guth set up his shop in the usual place despite the door. It couldn't be moved - he figured - and this place was a good one for a stall. And the watch could arrest whoever had parked this door here. So he piled crates of tomatoes high against the door on both sides, so the offender couldn't pull a fast one - and he could claim the reward. No-one pulls a fast one on Guth - he said...

~:†:~

Jhans tried to pull a fast one. It wasn't a good first impression of the city of Bartholomew, and they had to pay for damages. Hunter was very gentlemanly about paying for six crates of tomatoes, and even when the Watch tried to arrest him, but they stopped when Jhans tried to explain the situation. And then it rained.


~:†:~

"This is it, Jhans!" Hunter calls from his wet mare. The rains hammers down on the sand-coloured city as they reach the top of the grand staircase. Nine pillars and a mighty oak door meet them, a mismatched collection of stone are mortared together in a handsome face of grey and brick. The lanterns are being lit, despite it being early afternoon.

"This is your palace?" Jhans asked. hunter dismounts and hands Mannie's reins to a (wet) stableboy, who reads at the top of the stairs.

"Palace of the city, Jhans. Every stone donated by the people." Shaking back his wet hair, Hunter pulls open a door end enters, making sure the gap is wide enough for the bear to pass.

Inside is a modest, airy wooden space with a small guardhouse and dark wooden floorboards. A guard nods them through to the hall, which is vast and arched and full of light. Rows of chairs tier up towards a stage made of tables and planks, and the hall bristles with the young and old. Jhans lingers at the back - while Hunter is summoned by a shout from near the front. Jhans removes his helmet, and tries to hang it with the other hats. After many interesting minutes, he takes it with him and sits in the corner.

"People!" A man steps onto the table. He is tall and proud, with a trimmed bears and white hair. If Jhans listens, he can hear the swordstick rattle at his belt. People move slowly towards the seats and Jhans joins the end of the back row. Seats move aside to make space.

"As you know, I am Lord Kaan. And I thank you all for attending this council, and you have my deepest gratitude for showing your support. Now, last month I promised a plan put before you and here it is. We send our troops by foot down to Flaro bay, and the food and munition by boat down the coast. We will then split out forces, one half taking the boats to the bay of Biscali to the North and the second half, led by Lucifer Koroki here, will cross the ice bridge between our nation and the Fury Plains by this crossing place - where the gap is thinnest."

This comment caused some murmuring - and voices raised almost in protest. Jhans watched silently.

"People! Please! I have the utmost confidence - I have talked to Fredrick Deroiter - and he says the ice on the Fury pass never thaws until the second month in spring. This will give us the upper hand over our enemies - I assure you!"

The people quietened down - but there was murmuring. This silence was not as complete as when he had stood up to talk. A man in armour stood up among the crowd.

"Yes, Peirs?"

"If we do so, we shall have no tactical position to continue onwards. The Biscalian troops hold the hills, and to the south the armies are marching on southern Choras. We cannot hold a battle in the Fury pass - we will be laid bare."

Jhans didn't have enough room to stand, but he raised his head high and said:

"Lord, it..."

"It is my intent for the troops from Biscali to break through the defences through the hills in whatever way we can, and the southern troops,"

"Lord Kaan!" Jhans tried to shout his interbention, but Lord Kaan waved a hand in the bear's direction.

"will make their way north to face the bulk of their armies in a more favorable circumstance, thank you. Are there any other questions?"

The plan was fair. The army of the enemy seemed thin and dispersed, probably the result of an earlier raid on Choras. Jhans wondered wheter is should bother him that he did not know who the enemy was. The council, however, were decidedly human. The calls of 'No' and 'Nobody milord' drowned out the bear's protests.

"Right. Lucifer Koroki, you're in charge of arms and munitions. You're also the second in command, if I die you'll take over. Constance Gullet?"

"Here!"

"You're to deal with..."

"The plan is No Good." Jhans growled, clear and deep. You could hear the capitalisation.

Hunter glances nervously from Jhans to the commander, both bound by an iron glare. Lord Kaan has never fought in a war, he just survived some Martyr and worked up from there. He knows nothing of fighting, but he's in charge, and he's angry. He'll also lose. He's trying to outstare Jhans, and Jhans can outstare a statue. Jhans would go blind before blinking...

"Why, pray is that?" Kaan said, eyes watering and blinking furiously.

"Fredrick Deroiter is from Jopani - you can tell by his robes. In Jopani spring begins at the festival of souls..."

"Who are you to speak at this council, bear?

"Which is on the last moon of December."

Kaan spun round to seek the advice of those sitting behind him. The crowd murmered loudly and heads were craned to look at the bear, who stares stoutly at the stage. The commander turns to seek council of first Hunter, then the Jopani Deroiter, garbed in seal skins and bear furs, and then Lucifer. After some while of this - Lucifer offers the Lord his seat and stands in his place.

"We welcome this news, bear." He says in a thin but strong voice. "However, this puts us in an awkward situation - we have no strategic highground to claim, and it is all too likely that southern Choras will be captured if we cannot cross to Fury before our foes make the same crossing. Again, the battle masters must be summoned to make the best we can of these circumstances. The higher council has decided that we should summon the troops to make our move as soon as possible."

The room was silent. Jhans knew that lies, secrets and mistakes all formed part a stronger battle plan. Maybe he'd just stumbled into a planned alleged misunderstanding to defend the shores as well as they can from the incoming soldiers of Fury - and ruined the plan. Or perhaps he'd just saved ten thousand men from drowning. He'd never know which.

Hunter took a torch from the wall, and laid it in a bowl at the back of the hall. Fire raced up oiled ropes and lit the beacon atop the palace. Troops would be cummoned to the city, awaiting whatever the battle masters would decide upon. Bears would just have done it all in one, and not made mistakes like this. As the people filed out, Jhans waited for them to leave in silence.

Just a few small things to note here:

"Alas Jhans," Hunter says as they approach the dorm stairs again, "I must away - my country is at war. This very day I must attend a council at Bartholomew back in my city. It pains me to leave after we have met so briefly." Far off, the Dome's great clock tower strikes the hour of noon.

A small slip of words here. He's going back to his country, not city. Renamor would be his city. Just watch little mistakes like that.

One more thing...

"Good. We will hurry - it begins in an hour."

There are little instances of this everywhere. For dashes like this, use two hyphens together in succession (like --), because it might get confusing if you only used one for a dash and then an actual hyphen appears in the sentence as well.

Other than those, there were just a few simple typos scattered about, but they're not worth pointing out.

Now then, before I move on, I must say this was probably my favorite training post of yours ever. Really, it was that wonderful. Great dialogue, great description, great characters and names. *applauds* Bravo, Awky.

To the next lesson...

As Hunter and Jhans leave the council, they hear shouts coming from the stables. The two rush to investigate, and find that the stable boy has been beaten up, and Mannie and some of the other horses stolen. Have Hunter and Jhans find a clue to the thieves' whereabouts (say a scent) and track them. Conclude with the pair finding the culprits, but do not engage them in conversation or battle yet. You may, however, overhear anything they speak about.

No word minimum.

Why thank you! *bows*.

Agreed, I am prone to abuse the common hyphen. I will keep that in mind -- and try to vary my punctuation. 1014 words.

I will strive to make this piece Typo-free! Huzzah!

(Ic)

The crowd dispersed -- slowly. After the room had emptied, Lord Kaan marched out with a glance at Jhans, but he couldn't figure out what it meant. Hunter approached, and stood next to Jhans.

"Well done - I've never seen Kaan as angry as that." This kind of sentence is usually followed by 'Have a point" -- or something similar.

"I doubt he told us everything."

"No - he didn't. He's not stupid, he merely lacks intelligence." Jhans had a whole new level of respect for a human who knew this difference. Not being human himself, he saw their world through fresh and eager eyes -- his mind working in ways that most humans never do. On sight, these world mean the same thing. But the words are just representations of... things, which letters and syllables can never truly express.

"That is true. Do you have any other errands?" Jhans liked this new and interesting city; full of bitter rain, cold air and mismatched stone.

"Again, no. We shalt return to your dome -- if that is alright with you, Jhans. I cannot stay - whatever is hence decided upon I shall carry out. You must understand, 'tis my pledge."


"I do."

"They left the way they had come -- back out through the guardroom and into the open air. The rain had stopped, leaving a close, bitter feel to the air. As they walked on towards the stables, Hunter's feet slopping through the mud, leaves and boughs dripped around them.

The stables lay a way into the palace grounds, and the paving stops as they approach... it is serene, quiet, still. And then the silence is harshly broken. Shouts rang out - as well as the sounds of whips. There is a crash from the direction they are headed, and the sounds of distressed horses -- their thundering hooves cracking through the still air. Without thinking, Jhans finds his own feet taking him towards these sounds.

"Hey - Jhans!"

Hunter catches up with the bear as he stops in the doorway, slowly observing the sight that meets him. The prince runs into the bear's rump, but he stands stolid.

"Jhans - what's happened?"

Jhans slowly stepped and let Hunter enter the stables. The stable boy lay bruised and beaten over the saddlerack, and the stable gate has been smashed apart. The horses' hooves have not been covered up with the leather 'shoes' -- and plate-sized clouts of turf and leaf mould have been torn out of the ground. Torn out by horses which are no longer here. Mannie and two other horses have been taken.

Hunter's face is stern as he attends to the stableboy - asking questions and offering him help to walk. Jhans inspects the scene - with all his senses. He opened his mind, and almost a whole new dimension opened up before his eyes. You couldn't live like this, aroused to every movement, every scent, every piece of falling dust. You'd be driven mad - just like every other beast. But for now, vibrations and shapes and smells added colour to the charcoal lines of normal sight.

He could see the damp scent of the horses, clouds of stableboy and streams of rain. It could never be explained to someone who has never experienced it themself. One of the thieves had a pouch at his belt that smelled distinct and potent -- it hung in the air -- but the scent was swiftly fading on the winds.

"Hunter, we must go now." Jhans' eyes couldn't stop moving -- flitting every second to take in a new element of his surroundings.

"Jhans, their tracks won't continue on the paving. We'll just lose them on the road."

Jhans left. He found it easier than explaining. Hunter could follow him or stay behind. Fine - he probably didn't warrant being treated like that, but Jhans wasn't thinking like that now. He was hunting.

"Hey, Jhans!" Hunter was right, the tracks did end on the paving. Jhans sat back on his haunches and beckoned Hunter to him.

"Jhans," Hunter panted upon catching up, "What do you think you're doing? The poor stableboy's hurt back there --"

"I can find your horses. One of the thieves carries garlic at his belt, and stealth is now necessary." Jhans said, cutting through Hunter's exclamations. "It is crucial that we are not heard."

Once again, Jhans opened himself to the world. Hunter's breathing was so loud he could have shot him in the dark, but slowly, he padded after the scent. Garlic? Why? Who'd take a superstitious foodstuff with them on a raid?

They passed outside of the city walls, and the scent led them into it's shade. An old stone house, it's walls crumbling and the foliage of an overhanging tree serving as a roof. It casts a dark, striking shillouette. Jhans advances slowly, padding over the turf. Hunter sidles along behind. Royalty, especially heirs to certain thrones, walk diagonally. That's why they always turn up where you least expect them. As they got closer, voices became distinct.

"But I just don't get it," A female voice started, "Lord Kaan commands the troops -- he can easily find search for us. We could have chosen anywhere to rob, but why the palace?"

Jhans glanced sideways at Hunter. He's taking it well, Jhans thought, but he can take anything in his stride.

"It's between me and him," replied a male voice. The pause here contained obvious nose-tapping.

"Go on - there's no secrets here Daret. What makes you think Kaan will spare you?"

"It's because I know a little too much." Said the voice called Daret, you could see it's owner being thin and scrawny. "Over 'eard something from the butcher - I know where his daughter's really gone. As soon as he finds that arrow with garlic through the center, he'll know it's me, right enough. He wouldn't dare search, incase word got out, see?"

There was a whinnying sound. Hunter's face was grim... and Jhans knew it was the time for action.

Only mistake to point out is that occasionally you'd accidentally revert back to using a single hyphen for a dash. I understand it might take a while to form a new habit, so I won't bother you much about that. Just will point it out if I see it.

And once again, great job, Awky. Good intrigue. You're doing what I hoped with this.

As you can guess, your next assignment is to follow through with this storyline. Take it where you will and be creative. No word minimum.

For the sake of filing and suchlike, this thread is continued here .