Homestuck RP

You see a BOY inside an EARTHEN PIT. He is currently ASLEEP, and DIRT is falling onto his face. Today is this boy's FOURTEENTH BIRTHDAY. He is interested in SCIENCE and DIGGING.
What should this BOY'S NAME be?

HYPERACTIVE NUMBSKULL_

...try again.

WILLIAM EVANSON

WILL EVANSON wakes up, shaking some of the dirt out of his hair. Holding aloft his RUSTY IRON SHOVEL, he continues to dig. The boy's HOUSE is a small two story place filled with ALL MANNER OF REPTILES.

Suddenly, his CELLULAR PHONE goes off. He is getting PESTERED by someone. He CAPTCHALOGUES his RUSTY IRON SHOVEL and gains a SHOVELKIND STRIFE SPECIBUS. After FIVE MINUTES OF INFURIATING SNAKE GAMEPLAY he pulls out his CELLULAR PHONE to see WHO IS PESTERNG HIM DURING DIGGING TIME.

It seems its his no-last-name friend VALDIN,

Spoiler:  

crypticArcher began pestering garrulousArchaeologist

CA: H3y wh4ts up?
GA: Everything was going fine until you called me up.
GA: I thoughtI told you not to call me during my digging time!
GA: YOu know how hard it is to get my phone out, I have to take out my phone by playing snake and then I have to turn it on ad have to respond to you,
CA: W04h 8r0 d1dn'7 kn0w 7h1s m4773rs 7h1s much 2 you
CA: W4s g0nn4 4sk you 1f y0u g07 7h3 8374 yet,
GA: Yeah but its still laying on my counter, I still have to open it and put it in and install it and stuff.
GA: You get yours yet?
CA: 0f c0urs3 8r0
CA: 4lr34dy sp3n7 s0m3 gr1s7.
GA: What are you talking about I haven't played the game yet remember?
CA: 0h r1gh7, s0rry 8r0
CA: Y0u g37 gr1s7 8y d3f34ting 3n3mi3s 4nd stuff.
CA: Wh1ch y0u c4n us3 2 m4k3 stuff 0r 8u1ld stuff.
CA: 1 4lr34dy m4d3 s0m3 n3w cr0ss80w 80l7s.
CA: 1 c0m81n3d my 80l7s w17h 4 l1gh73r.
CA: Fl4m1ng 80l7s,
CA: 4nyw4y, y0u s0rt4 m4k3 y0ur 0wn w0rld
CA: D3p3nd1ng 0n wh47 y0u pr0707yp3d.
CA: 0h ye4h y0u pr0707yp3 an in4n1m4t3 0bj3c7 47 f1rs7.
CA: 7h3n s0m37h1ng 7h4ts d34d
CA: 8u7 1'm g3771ng 4h34d 0f my s3lf
CA: 1 pr0707yp3d 4 l177l3 kn1gh7 f1gur3,
CA: s0 3v3ry th1ng 1s c4s7l3s 4nd s7uff
CA: 4l7h0ugh 17s 4nn0ying h4ving 7his kn1gh7 7h1ng f0ll0w1ng m3 4rr0und.
CA: 8u7 y0u c4n pl4y 17 y0urs3lf,
CA: 0h y34h y0u'll 83 pl4y1ng 1n my s3ss1on 2.
GA: ...
CA:

Ooc: oh yeah Valdin lives in a castle.

Confused at the tomfoolery of your friend, you walk into your HOUSE. SNAKES AND OTHER REPTILES are prettymuch EVERYWHERE. As you look towards the counter you find that TOMABASCUS III, THE RIGHTEOUS, has sat his stupid frog self ontop of BOTH OF YOUR DISKS. You are tempted to SMASH THIS FROG with yout shovel, but your UNCLE would probably sick one of his MORE LETHAL SNAKES on your STUPID LEATHERED BEHIND.

Maybe if you just push out of the way....

OH SNAP.
STRIFE.

YOUR UNCLE is COVERED IN VERY VENEMOUS REPTILES, yet somehow keeping HIS WHITE SHIRT clean. Some of the SNAKES look HUNGRY.

You try to summon your RUSTY IRON SHOVEL, but doing so would take LIKE TEN MINUTES. You instead decide to....


ABSCOND.

Hopefully that stupid frog will move in ten minutes or something. You head up to your ROOM. TIMOTHY, your PET PYTHON, needs some DEAD RODENTS for CARBON BASED NUTRIENT.

You are now Valdin, you have just defeated a NITROGEN IMP which can have light blu skin and use powers related to ice. You have been in THE MEDIUM for a while now, you not sure how long, in the land of Towers and Darknes, as you can guess it is very dark making it hard to see these towering strctures where the indigenous race of olms You are anxiously awaiting for WILLIAM to join your session,

You have just collected grist the imp you killed., you use your grist to combine the scope on your crossbow and a flashlight you had handy, giving you heat a sensing scope. You then combine that with a pair of glasses giving you HEAT SENSING GOGGLES. You now never need a scope for your crossbow at all. Suddenly your PHONE WATCH goes off, your being pestered by your friend named...

> Be the other guy

You are now JOSE BENTLEY.

The turquoise water laps at your ankles. As you look up, the bright sun glares down on you. The golden eye of the celestial judge stares, judging you. You turn your head to avoid the prying gaze of the universe and look at the two disks left by the mail boat. You feel the sun reflected on the bright Caribbean behind you and walk back to your house.

Before putting the disk of this extremely childish game in your PC, you start pestering a friend of yours, William.

Spoiler:  

tempestuousArgonaut began pestering garrulousarchaeologist at 1o:54 AM.

TA: Hey, William.
TA: William.
TA: William, please respond to me, I know that you're probably off watching some 1980s adventure movie or licking the dirt off of some fake piece of pottery, besides, we both know that paleontology is vastly superior to archaeology. There's really no comparison.
GA: Hey.
TA: Hi there. So, I got the game. Or, well, games, seeing as their are two copies. Either my idiot cousin bought one two, which I highly doubt, or the company made some stupid mistake.
GA: It's not a mistake.
TA: Haha, what, look at the name of the dev team. Skaianet? Your uncle probably works there, GA. He'd be able to watch stupid 80s adventure movies all day long.
GA: My uncle hates movies.
TA: Yeah, ha, that's the joke. I was trying to be witty. Something you are not.
TA: Lololol, JK.
TA: You're funny.
TA: I guess.
TA: Again, just kidding.
TA: Also, what, giving me the silent treatment?
GA: I'm just waiting for you to cool down.
GA: Also, there's a reason why there's two disks.
GA: One for the server player, and another for the client player.
TA: Oh, ok. Huh. So, like, the player and the host? I hate games like that.
GA: Basically. And, I know you don't like this sort of game, but just think of it as an FPS.
TA: Huh, how? This is, like, some third person house-themed Sims or Spore clone, right?
GA: You'll see.
TA: Okay. And, you're my server player, right?
GA: No, AT is.
TA: Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Are you serious? I don't care if she's totally awesome at drawing anime fanart and stuff. She probably couldn't play a game to save her life.
TA: Hold on, lemme grab a soda.
GA: She isn't too bad.
GA: And her drawing skills are actually quite good.
GA: I guess you don't appreciate fine art and culture.
TA: Back.
TA: Hahaha, what.
TA: I live in a mansion, remember?
TA: Some, like, Spanish Lord lived here.
TA: Doesn't get more fine, artful, or cultured than that.
GA: I have to let you go. The sun's setting, and the phone I'm using is solar charged. I'm going to need the remaining battery to use the GPS to get home.
TA: What are you talking about? It's like 11, dude.
GA: Different time zones.
TA: Oh, right.
TA: Sorry, I'm an islander. I'm not used to that.
TA: You try being raised in isolation, more than six miles from any city.
GA: You were born in Chicago.
GA: And six miles isn't all that far, especially by your cousin's boat.
TA: Haha, that thing's so awesome.
TA: It's like made of speediness.
TA: You just don't understand.
TA: I want to paint it red and yellow with flames to show how fast it is.
GA: Why would you want to do that.
GA: It cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
TA: That doesn't matter, fast things should look like that.
TA: It just feels right.
GA: Well, I've got to go. You should pester AT before booting up the game.
TA: Ok. Whatever.
TA: She probably uses some cheap macbook, hipster wannabe.
TA: So, bye, I guess.
TA: You just can't believe how good this soda is.

At 11:03 AM, GA disconnected.

You are Valdin, you decide to pester your pal JOSE

Spoiler:  

CA: H3y 8r0
TA: Oh its you
CA: Y43h ju57 w0nd3r1ng 1f y0u g07 7h3 8374 y37
TA: WHat you mean that childish game? Yeah I got it but I don't see a need to play it or anything, seems like its for little kids.
CA: w3ll 0k4y, 1f y0u 54y 50
CA: 8u7 wh3n y0u d0 7ry 1t,
CA: R3m3m83r 7h3r35 7h15 7h1ng 7h4t l375 y0u sh4r3 gr157
TA: Whats grist? some little thing they use for pretend currency in that baby game?
CA: 50r7 0f CA: 17 l375 y0u 8u1ld 5tuff 4nd m4k3 173m5
CA: 1 kn0w y0u l1k3 5w0rd5, 50 1n y0ur c453 y0u c4n m4k3 4 5w0rd
TA: Why would you need a sword? all you do is build stuff right?
CA: N0 51lly, h0w d0 y0u th1nk y0u g37 gr157?
TA: Isn't It infinite? Don't you have like all the grist you need to make stuff.
CA: L0ln0, y0u g37 17 8y k1ll1ng 3n3m13s,
CA: 1'll explain 7he r3st 1n m0rn1ng.
TA: M0rn1ng? its noon!
CA: N0t 1n th3 med1um,
TA: wait what? whats the medium?
CA: 1 h4v3 t0 g0 n0w, s33 y0u 1n th3 morn1ng ok4y?
TA: Wait no!!

crypticArcher has logged out.

>Be William Evanson

You stare at your CELLULAR PHONE. You've been trying to Pester pretty much everyone on your list but its not really working. TIMOTHY is sitting around in his REALLY WEAK CAGE, flopping around and smelling like a clogged toilet. You really have no idea whats wrong with that thing.

Heading BACK DOWNSTAIRS you find that FATTY McFROGLORD has moved his sorry behind from your GAME DISKS. Snatching them and running back upstairs you look at your COMPUTER. You use the same lame internet provider as your UNCLE and you wish you'd taken AT's advice and went with PHILEMON.

You think back to you and AT's planning sessions for all this SERVER/PLAYER NONSENSE. AT was going host JOSE, JOSE was going to host YOU, YOU were going to host some friend of VAL's, and VAL was being hosted by that FRIEND. You assumed that the UNNAMED FRIEND was going to host AT.

You once again hold up your CELLULAR PHONE, which you have decided is not going into your FETCH MODI unless something REALLY URGENT happened. You decide you need to RE-PESTER JOSE.

Spoiler:  

garrulousArchaeologist [GA] began pestering tempestuousArgonaut [TA]
GA: Hey Jose can you install your server disk as soon as possible because I kind of want to get into the game because VAL already has a head start or something.
GA: JOSE
TA: What is it? I thought your phone was dying.
GA: ...it was.
TA: You know, I'm still don't really want to play this. Can't you just wait a while and find someone else to host you? crypticArcher [CA] began pestering tempestuousArgonaut [TA]
CA: U R3@lly sh0uld jus7 d0 it. 1ts s0r7 0f a l1f3 0r d3@7h 7h1ng
-- crypticArcher [CA] ceased pestering tempestuousArgonaut [TA]--
TA:...

.

> Be Jose

What.

The hell is the Medium?

You walk over to the balcony, and see your cousin's boat returning from his job at the city.

Oh god. You just know that he's going to try to get you to sign up for some online game. He probably took of work just to make you an account for some stupid Korean MMO. Even worse, he'll try to play the game with you.

Ugh, he's getting out of the boat, and is going to walk into your room in two or three minutes. Time to think fast. Maybe you can Bro Dive into the ocean, from the roof? Risky, but it would be the best way to avoid contact with hi-

Is that a gun?

You look over the railing. Sitting on the red leather seat of the shining white boat is some sort of automatic rifle. Huh. Your cousin isn't really the gun-owning type, so something's up. Hmm.

You bar your bedroom door with a large fake dinosaur bone by your bed and begin pestering that stupid artist girl, Alexia, or whatever her name is. She better have some answers.

> Be AT.

You are now ALEXIS LANE

Now this lovely young girl here, was just sitting around at home, waiting for her COUSIN that you haven't seen all day. But, you decide to get on your Touch Screen Computer Tablet. You roll the Dice to obtain your Computer Tablet, which has AC of 8. You happen to roll a seven, which probably would have gotten you zip, but you were prepared for today, you had to play this game. You received a bonus to your roll of +2, the Tablet appeared in your hands.

You decided to spend time sketching various characters from anime and paint a background or two.

After creating art of the Legendary Excalibur of Soul Eater fame and looking at the plains you drew. You had added some weird creature you had thought up of. You called it a dugon, and ended up like some sort of land-based walrus thing. You feel something wrong about that idea, but you dismiss it for the time being. You could pester TA, and install the beta your friends had said things about.

You knew that it would be something you love. You heard it was some sort of simulator. You wouldn't think someone like Jose would play it at all. But apparently since the game requires two people to play, William had asked you to be the server for Jose.

You send Jose a message after inserting the disc labeled server, and tossed the client disc in it's case onto the beanbag chair near your bed. You didn't really have much to say right now. You have learned how much your friends get annoyed when you begin to babble on and on about feelings and art and happiness and such, so you tried to keep it to a minimum.

Spoiler:  

arduousTherapist began pestering tempestuousArgonaut at 11:03 AM.
AT: Well, fr♥m wh♥t I kn♥w I'll be y♥ur sec♥nd, I guess. D♥n't w♥rry. I w♥n't let y♥u d♥wn. I h♥ve ♥ tendency t♥ pl♥y RPGs SIMs ♥nd RTS, s♥ this s♥rt ♥f g♥me seems up my ♥lley. S♥♥♥... just mess♥ge me when y♥u're re♥dy.

tempestuousArgonaut responded to pesterlog at 11:03 AM.

TA: Hi, Alexis.
TA: I however, share no such tendency.
TA: I'm glad that this sort of game is "up your alley", because I am going to rely on you to hold my hand.

AT:...
TA: What? No, not in that way.
TA: I'd like it if you walked me through the process.
TA: The disk is in my hand right now, but I'm not playing until I need to.
TA: The idea of the game is very infantile, to me, at least.
TA: There's something ridiculous about being invested in a game.
TA: A game is nothing but something to be won, and finished.
AT: Y♥u sh♥uld just h♥ve ♥ m♥re ♥pen mind, J♥se.
TA: My mind is so open right now that you just don't understand.
TA: I could grab this sword right here and slice my head open to show you, but I won't, because that would be gross, and I don't even have a camera on this thing, even if I did, you wouldn't want to see it.
TA: Ugh. Next time I start writing one of those horrible cluster♥♥♥♥ sentences, please stop me.
AT: Y♥u just cens♥red y♥urself.
TA: Yes, and?
TA: Oh, haha, did you think that I was, like, saying "clusteraaaa", or "clusteroooo"?
TA: Ha, that's cute.
TA: Again, not in that way.
AT: Well, Pesterchum isn't re♥lly the s♥rt of pr♥gr♥m th♥t lets you see wh♥t the ♥ther pers♥n is typing.
TA: That's stupid, it should be that sort of program.
TA: There's probably some sort of mod on this thing.
TA: I would get my cousin to look for one, if he wasn't, well, my cousin.
AT: Y♥ur c♥usin d♥sen't s♥und t♥♥ bad.
TA: You try having to live alone with your cousin.
TA: Oh, right.
TA: Christ, Alexis, if you make one more shipping comment about our cousins, I'll shove you right into the trollslum.
AT: I w♥sn't g♥ing t♥!
AT: Still, they w♥uld m♥ke a cute c♥uple...
AT: Y♥u c♥n't deny that.
TA: Alexis.
TA: He's my cousin.
TA: My guy cousin.
TA: Guys don't say that they'd make a cute couple with another girl, that's weird.
AT: N♥ it's n♥t.
TA: Eugh, Alexis, could you please stop with that heart thing? No wonder I thin you're trying to ship our cousins.
TA: Which is weird.
TA: So, what's the first thing to do in this game?
TA: Whenever I play games, I always make sure to know the rules clearly.
TA: I don't want to be lagging behind that idiot orphan anymore.
Spe♥king ♥f ♥rph♥ns, wh♥t's the st♥ry behind y♥ur p♥rents?
TA: There is no story.
TA: I fell out of the sky, riding an asteroid sidesaddle, with a sword in my hand.
AT: Y♥u're s♥ weird, AT.
TA: So, according to Gamefaqs, I need to get Grist. And I need to make an alchemizieoter, or something.
TA: Is this game overly complicated, like one of yours?
TA: Wait, Alexis, I'm being pestered. Hold on.

Spoiler:  

garrulousArchaeologist [GA] began pestering tempestuousArgonaut [TA]
GA: Hey Jose can you install your server disk as soon as possible because I kind of want to get into the game because VAL already has a head start or something.
GA: JOSE
TA: What is it? I thought your phone was dying.
GA: ...it was.
TA: You know, I'm still don't really want to play this. Can't you just wait a while and find someone else to host you? crypticArcher [CA] began pestering tempestuousArgonaut [TA]
CA: U R3@lly sh0uld jus7 d0 it. 1ts s0r7 0f a l1f3 0r d3@7h 7h1ng
-- crypticArcher [CA] ceased pestering tempestuousArgonaut [TA]--
TA:...

TA: Well.
AT: Wh♥t is it?
TA: According to the idiot who must not be named, we have to play this.
TA: Or we'll die.
TA: Seriously, this is some of the worst horse♥♥♥♥ I've ever heard.
AT: Th♥t self-cens♥ring thing is re♥lly ♥nn♥ying.
TA: You're really annoying.
TA: Anyway, I guess I'll boot up the game now. Wish me luck!
AT: G♥♥d luck.
TA: That was a rhetorical question.

AT ceased pestering TA at 11:07 AM.

>Be Valdin

You wake up to your phone watch buzzing, its that Jose guy, maybe he finally got the beta.

Spoiler:  

TA: So yeah bro I got the stupid game, what do I do?
TA: Its telling me to prototype something what does that mean?
CA: Y0ur g0nn4 n33d 2 pr0707yp3 50m37h1ng 7h475 d34d.
TA: What kind of weirdo am I? Where do you expect me to find a dead thing?
CA: D0n'7 kn0w 8r0, us3 y0ur 1mag1n4t10n
CA: 1 g0774 g0 n0w, 73ll m3 wh3n y0u g3t 2 7h3 m3d1um
CA: 0f c0ur53 1'll s33 th3 ch4ng3s
TA: wait wut?
CA: Y0u'll s33, ju57 d0 1t

You chuckled at JOSE's attempts to ruin your mood for this game, intentional or not

The server and client finished connecting, with almost no problems. The interface was as simple as you have ever seen. Everything was neatly organized exactly where it should be. There was the page for materials, craft-able objects, some of which had cost to build, others with no cost.You don't need walkthrough of any sort for something like this. It was plain as day. Why would anyone have trouble with something like this? It was obvious like any other simulator game or RTS that the free stuff you get at the beginning are things you need to continue. Though you could go and deploy these things anywhere, keeping things close together would be best.

The only problem you had? you found too much stuff in your way. You could navigate the menus, but that didn't take a genius to do. You put the Stylus away to use the screen with whatever you wanted, like your empty hands. It would be better for you to navigate the game with your fingers instead of a stylus. Movement proved easier than you thought, since you wouldn't need to have constant access to a keyboard to plug into the tablet, and you wouldn't need to screw with the windows to open the key board interface to move, only when chatting on PESTERCHUM.

You try actually interacting with the environment and pick up the BED in Jose's room, and fling it out the...WALL. You move the camera to outside where the bed is, with the bed now in the water with even the mattress being soaked, in plain view of JOSE.

Oh well. You could tell him you couldn't focus because he was mean to you earlier and her concentration slipped at an important moment. As for the time being, you extend the BEDROOM with some GRIST to make room for the ALCHEMITER and TOTEM LATHE and all that. You Suceed in placing the ALCHEMITER, before you hear footsteps from the hall at your room's door. The sound was distinctive, those sandals worn byKISUKE URAHARA in Bleach. Was your cousin actually dressed like that. You CAPTCHLOGUE your TABLET and roll to equip your RUKIA COSTUME. You knew JOSEwas now pestering you, probably about the stuff you did, but you didn't have time for that.

>Be Jose
You stare at your computer screen, as the game of Sburb begins to load.

This song plays as you stare at your screen. Thousands of lotus shapes and spirographs flash onto your screen. You aren't even able to notice half of them. You're sure that your brain is probably picking up some weird subliminal messages.

As the bar finishes loading, you're connected.

Huh.

Things don't seem too different.

Did you connect? There wasn't even an interface.

HOLY♥♥♥♥YOUR BED

At 11:08 AM, TA began pestering AT

TA: AT
TA: WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥ DID YOU DO WITH MY BED?
TA: Oh, god.
TA: My cousin's going to see.
TA: He probably thinks I've gone insane,
TA: And threw my bed out the window, despite the fact that you are the perpetrator here, but how would you expect me to explain to him that some girl hundreds of miles away threw my bed into the ocean?
TA: Where are you, Alexis?
TA: TA?
TA: Ttttttttttttt
TA: Aaaaaaaaaaaa
TA: TEA
TA: EH
TA: Canadian Infusion!?!?
TA: TA?

You go back on Gamefaqs and continue reading the walkthrough by that nice person, whose name surprisingly resembles AT's. The hell is prototyping?

The only person you can ask is the idiot. Ugh.

At 11:09 AM, TA began pestering CA

Spoiler:  

TA: So yeah bro I got the stupid game, what do I do?
TA: Its telling me to prototype something what does that mean?
CA: Y0ur g0nn4 n33d 2 pr0707yp3 50m37h1ng 7h475 d34d.
TA: What kind of loser do you think I am? Where do you expect me to find a dead thing?
CA: D0n'7 kn0w 8r0, us3 y0ur 1mag1n4t10n
CA: 1 g0774 g0 n0w, 73ll m3 wh3n y0u g3t 2 7h3 m3d1um
CA: 0f c0ur53 1'll s33 th3 ch4ng3s
TA: Wait, what?
CA: Y0u'll s33, ju57 d0 1t

Huh. Well. You decide there's only one thing to do.

Approach your cousin and tell him about your poor bed, which is probably halfway sunken in a deep-sea trench by now.

>Be Will again.

As you get more and more ANXIOUS, especially after CRYPTIC ARCHER BEING CRYPTIC, you decide to head outside to continue TUNNEL DIGGING. After about five minutes of MANLY WORK you find yourself exhausted. This is usually why you only dig during DESIGNATED DIGGING TIMES.

As you lay down on the earthen floor in a similiar position to THE FIRST POST you find yourself looking SKYWARD.

And promptly LOSE ALL YOUR COOL.

There is a METEOR. A rather LARGE ONE. HEADING TOWARDS YOUR HOUSE AT PROBABLY THE SPEED OF LIGHT. OR SOUND. Running back into the house you start DESPERATELY PESTERING CRYPTICARCHER. You have no idea what is going on, but he probably does, THE CRYPTIC FOOL.

Spoiler:  

garrulousArcheaologist [GA] began pestering crypticArcher[CA]
GA: VAL YOU BETTER ANSWER ME WHY IS THERE A METEOR HEADING TOWARDS MY HOUSE RESPOND PLEASE I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT HERE
CA: 0h h1 w1ll1@m.
CA: 1 w@s jus7 k1ll1ng som3 s7uff.
GA: HOW CAN YOU BE SO NONCHALANT ABOUT THIS IS THIS A NORMAL PART OF THE GAME BECAUSE I HAVEN'T EVEN INSTALLED IT.
CA: 1 d0n'7 n0. Bu7 0n3 was h3@d3d t0w@rds my pl@c3 2.
GA: Ok...calming down I need you to pester Jose about installing that server disk i need to make some other calls and stuff.
CA: 0h 1 s33. U w@n7 to p3st3r @7 d0n7 U.
GA: NO I DON'T JUST SHUT UP RIGHT NOW.
--garrulousArcheaologist [GA] ceased pestering crypticArcher [CA]--

...on second thought, maybe pestering AT is an alright idea. At least she'll explain whats going on without being condescending.

You open the door of your room and crawl out, doing a Bro Tumble down the stairs.



You stop, looking through the columns. There he is. Your cousin.

Stealthily you watch him as he reads the newspaper. Suspicious.

As you begin to approach him, he stands up from his chair and walks away. No!

You almost had him. Your eyes follow your guardian as he walks back to the dock. Like a silent ninja, you follow him, hiding behind every wall. He goes back to the boat, and holds up the gun, which is still laying on the seat.

He drives away, before you can call out to him.

Foiled again.

You walk back to the chair, and see that a note was left, with your name on it. It seems to have been written with a red sharpie.

COUSIN
Meet me at Skull Island,
2 PM.

Well. It looks like he knows something. Maybe he's in cahoots with that Skaianet company.

You peer over into the ocean and see that your bed is actually floating. Well, then.

That's lucky.

> Be Valdin

Spoiler:  

CA began Pester TA

CA: Um h3y c4n y0u l1k3 j0in my 535510n 500n?
AT: Due hold on, I don't have time for this right now
CA: 0h 0k4y, 1t5 ju57 7h47 1f y0u d0n7
CA: 1 7h1nk 1'll d13
AT Wait what????
CA: 1'm 50r70f 5urr0und3d r1gh7 n0w
CA: 1'll n33d 50m30n3 2 8u1ld m3 4 84rr1c4d3 0r s0m3th1ng
CA: 1'm n07 p1cky
AT: Bro, I haven't even prototyped that dead thing yet,
CA: y34h 1 c4n t3ll,
AT: What how?
CA: 1 w0uld n07ic3 7h3 ch4ng3s
AT: Wait what?
CA: 1 g077a g0, 7h3r35 4n 0gr3 4b0ut 2 g3t 2 m3.
AT OGRE??? what are you talking about!?
CA: n0 t1m3 2 3xpla1n, l37 m3 kn0w wh3n y0u c4n h3lp 0k4y?
AT: Wait what??


CA ceased pestering AT

>Be Will

THE REALLY BIG METEOR is still heading towards your HOME. You are begining to feel that CRYPTICVAL was probably the WORST OPTION for contacting people, BECAUSE OF HIS CRYPTICNESS.

You would pester him yourself but YOU KNOW HOW THINGS ARE AT HIS HOUSE. He's probably off on a FAST BOAT or CHASING HIS COUSIN or something. You decide to just sit tight and PRAY TO EVERY GOD EVER to save you. Or wait for JOSE. Either one sounds alright.

TA began pestering GA at 11:14 AM

TA: Hey.
GA: Jesus Christ, there's a meteor headed for my home.
TA: Huh.
TA: According to this walkthrough, that's a good sign.
GA: How the hell is that a good sign?
TA: It means that we're the correct players of the game.
GA: How do you know this?
TA: I told you, walkthroughs.
TA: Anyway, so, I'm supposed to be your server player.
TA: Cool.
TA: Hold on, let me boot up the other disk.
GA: Do it fast!!!!
GA: This meteor is literally fifteen minutes from my house.
GA: I tried to call the police but the line was dead.
TA: The game's booting up.
GA: Listen to me, Jose.
GA: We are going to die if you don't help me.
TA: Settle down, it's just a game.
GA: What!?
GA: Our lives depend on this!!
TA: Okay, hold on.
TA: Go play with your snake, or something.
TA: Let me put those items in your room.
TA: I have no idea what they do, though.

CA disconnected at 11:16 AM

>Be Will.

Oh thank god. You were seriously starting to get worried there. You decide to help JOSE out with the items.
GA: Well you should probably put the items on the roof or something there's way to much crap inside the house and my backyard is covered in pits.
GA: And the roof is flat so that helps.
TA: Alright, fine.
TA: How are you getting to the roof, anyway?
GA: Theres a ladder I'm going to get my snake now hes not looking too good.
TA: Is your snake dying? I thought you hated those things anyway.
GA: Timothy is special he is a good snake and very nice as well.
TA: Whatever.
TA: God, its hard to type.
TA: Sailing my bed to an island and ♥♥♥♥.
TA: Freakin tides everywhere.
GA: I'm not even sure how to respond to that is TA hosting you yet btw.
TA: Yeah but she stopped doing anything.
GA: That would be her cousin there probably having some sort of cosplay fight with actual weapons.
TA: ...they seriously do that.
GA: Sometimes.
TA: Your stuff is on the roof now.
GA: Alright.

You put your phone down, making sure not to CAPTCHALOG it, and pick up your FARTSNAKE. He is seriously smelling worse by the second. As you climb the ladder you see most of your roof is covered with odd devices. You walk up to one of them that seems to be vibrating wierdly.

GA: Alright what now.

TA: I'm not exactly sure.
TA: According to, you know, him, you have to prototype something that's dead.
TA: From what I infer, you have to turn that wheel.
GA: What wheel?
TA: The green wheel, on top of that white metal tube chimney thing, please tell me that you know what I'm talking about.
GA: Okay, I see it.
TA: Great
GA: I'm turning the wheel now.
TA: What happened?
GA: I'm not really sure.