Hero of Clowns

Hiya Matees

I would like to introduce everyone to my newly thought up comic series Hero of Clowns. The title has actually nothing to do with the story pursay. There wont be any juggling, tri-cycles or dog shaped balloons lol. Just Link and Navi traveling through the world of Hyrule clowning around. Basically the whole story will be the Ocarina of Time redone in comedy. Sort of like an abridged series. Now, I dont know if anyone will find my sense of humor funny but if it doesn't float your boat you dont have to read I will just laugh at myself lol.

This is actually only the third comic page I ever made so I welcome good critique and advice. Please leave comments! Dont just read this thread and leave! I love critique, compliments, feedback and etc. I welcome spam here lol!

So without further ado. Here is the Hero of Clowns premiere.


Scene 1: The dream

Hah hah. Great. I loved it. A few things to look at.

-Your callouts (aka Speech Bubbles) are WAY too transparent. Tone down, or outright kill, the transparency, please.
-I liked the zoom-ins on the 4th and 5th panels; they really expressed the intimacy of the situation, but then you zoom out again. I'm not sure why. Keeping the close perspective would give a better view of the expressions of the sprites, especially the jaw-drop, which I missed the first time.
-Find a better comic font, there's plenty of places to do that on the internet. Like this one.
-Pay more attention to how your text is situated inside your speech bubbles. For example, the text should never touch the border of a callout, yet it does in the sixth panel. The callout should snugly fit around the text without crowding it but without too much empty space.

Can't wait to see your next one.

Hah, I liked it, though, try to refrain fron text-talk i.e. WTF
And I hope that Ganondorf sprite isn't the one you'll be using for the whole comic...

Hah! That was quite good! 'I must show you the person behind the mask' very funny. That is good comic structure and all around well done. I really liked his aaaaugh being all bendy and good! I hope they stay this good. I agree with Dr. Fish, too. www.blambot.com has good comic fonts, that can only help!

I like it!

that is so funny cant wait to see the other one

Originally Posted by Mukora

Hah, I liked it, though, try to refrain fron text-talk i.e. WTF

Agreed. Putting a "?!" next to Link's head would have been a better option.

And I hope that Ganondorf sprite isn't the one you'll be using for the whole comic...

Also agreed. These sprites might be a better fit:

Originally Posted by Dr. von Fish

Hah hah. Great. I loved it. A few things to look at.

-Your callouts (aka Speech Bubbles) are WAY too transparent. Tone down, or outright kill, the transparency, please.
-I liked the zoom-ins on the 4th and 5th panels; they really expressed the intimacy of the situation, but then you zoom out again. I'm not sure why. Keeping the close perspective would give a better view of the expressions of the sprites, especially the jaw-drop, which I missed the first time.
-Find a better comic font, there's plenty of places to do that on the internet. Like this one.
-Pay more attention to how your text is situated inside your speech bubbles. For example, the text should never touch the border of a callout, yet it does in the sixth panel. The callout should snugly fit around the text without crowding it but without too much empty space.

Can't wait to see your next one.

Thanks for the good advice. I will fix all of these problems in the next edition. As for the speech bubbles, I tried to lower the opacity some to make it blend in with the first 7 layers. Those layers I also lowered the opacity to give it a more dream feel. But when you look at it I think I did overdo it quit abit. I lowered them to around about 50 lol.

Originally Posted by Mukora

Hah, I liked it, though, try to refrain fron text-talk i.e. WTF
And I hope that Ganondorf sprite isn't the one you'll be using for the whole comic...

Well I wanted to use that sprite because it mostly resembles the Ganondorf from OoT but I better change that when he appears again later on in the series huh? Also, I wanted to thank you for inspiring me to do this. I often came to this section and read your comics mostly.

Originally Posted by GoldStud

Hah! That was quite good! 'I must show you the person behind the mask' very funny. That is good comic structure and all around well done. I really liked his aaaaugh being all bendy and good! I hope they stay this good. I agree with Dr. Fish, too. www.blambot.com has good comic fonts, that can only help!

I like it!

That bendy text idea was something I thought out randomly lol. It seemed to work for that scene so I left it. I am going to change to better text too.

Originally Posted by Happy Mask

Thanks for the good advice. I will fix all of these problems in the next edition. As for the speech bubbles, I tried to lower the opacity some to make it blend in with the first 7 layers. Those layers I also lowered the opacity to give it a more dream feel. But when you look at it I think I did overdo it quit abit. I lowered them to around about 50 lol.

The transparency in the other layers was fine. I liked the "dreamy" feel it created, it's simply that the opacity of the speech bubbles made it hard to read the text, especially in the last panel.

ha ha that funny you make a good comic

XDD nice I'll keep watching for new ones of this!

Whaha ha I like this comic!

Porpse for the comic tab title thing on the top it looks nicely put to gather any woo good speech bubbles though I'd not make them transparent it jumbles with the background also people get angry at that sorta stuff but regardless the comic still gets a 8.5 because of the joke and good use of sprites and resizeing.

^Thanks. I was getting ready to post the next episode. I made a few small changes but nothing dramatic. Only what I was advised so far to correct.

New!

Since I based this comic on OoT I'll be using some of the actual game play screens from time to time to help illustrate my story.


Scene 2: The A$- Hole

Hah, I liked the Pink Fairy saying 'You heard 'im' it was nice. So this comic is pretty much going to follow Oot to the wire? You could probably throw a twist in somewhere or other.

I love it, I can't wait for chapter three! The first one was my favorite, mainly because it was purely hilarious (everyone knows that's what Link's really thinking!) Great job! I do agree with GoldStud, you should mix it up a little. You obviously have a great sense of humor!

Hm... It was quite funny. I like the top banner even more now because I just noticed the clown throwing up. I always thought Mido looked like a turtle... now that you've made two comics you must sign the don't-let-it-die contract. It ensures that you will not stop this comic unless it-
A.) Ends by the story finishing off (like 8-Bit Theatre will)
B.) You are killed by being hit by a truck, old age, or a demonic mask takes control of your body, Et cetera
The contract will come in the mail

Better! But there is still much to note!

1. The colored callouts turn me off. Probably because I'm awfully conventional. I would still try to find a more subtle way to convey the fairies talking, though. Or try using much, much lighter blue and pink colors. That might look better.
2. I like the special effects of the second panel, but they seem...misplaced? Link seems to run on the water, then jump across the log, like some sort of super-Jesus.
3. I'm not sure how I feel about the screen-shots thing. I'll see how they go for a while.
4. You have a random black space under the fourth panel. Kill it. Also, the placement of the sixth panel is just weird.
5. You still need to fit your callouts to your text a bit better. Like, in the last panel, you could have shrunk the callout considerably and still had room for the text. Your speech bubbles take up enough room as it is without being too big.

Overall good though, keep them coming.

Originally Posted by Mukora

Hm... It was quite funny. I like the top banner even more now because I just noticed the clown throwing up. I always thought Mido looked like a turtle... now that you've made two comics you must sign the don't-let-it-die contract. It ensures that you will not stop this comic unless it-
A.) Ends by the story finishing off (like 8-Bit Theatre will)
B.) You are killed by being hit by a truck, old age, or a demonic mask takes control of your body, Et cetera
The contract will come in the mail

Hah, dont worry. It wont end for a while!

Originally Posted by Dr. von Fish

Better! But there is still much to note!

1. The colored callouts turn me off. Probably because I'm awfully conventional. I would still try to find a more subtle way to convey the fairies talking, though. Or try using much, much lighter blue and pink colors. That might look better.
2. I like the special effects of the second panel, but they seem...misplaced? Link seems to run on the water, then jump across the log, like some sort of super-Jesus.
3. I'm not sure how I feel about the screen-shots thing. I'll see how they go for a while.
4. You have a random black space under the fourth panel. Kill it. Also, the placement of the sixth panel is just weird.
5. You still need to fit your callouts to your text a bit better. Like, in the last panel, you could have shrunk the callout considerably and still had room for the text. Your speech bubbles take up enough room as it is without being too big.

Overall good though, keep them coming.

Thanks. I will take note of this.

Finally after a long awiated four months I'm back! Even though I am very busy with my personal life, I will try to update this comic at least once a week. I tried using some of the advice you guys left for me in this thread months back so tell me what you all think? What can I improve on Mr. Fish?

Also, incase some of you don't get the humor of why I called it the "Kok Shop", I named it that so it would be a shorter, abbreviated version of "Kokiri Shop". It sounds more perverted and I just didn't want anyone thinking I mispelled "cock" heehee.


Scene 3: The Kok Shop

haha tingle is creepy, very creepy D: I never thought about just how creepy he is but really that dood is whacked DDDD: