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  #1 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 06-18-2008, 10:40 AM
Dragongirl04089 Dragongirl04089 is a female Dragongirl04089 is offline
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Smile Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Ok, this is my first comic. I am not afraid of critizism, I need to get better so here it is...

Well, what can I improve on?
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Last Edited by Dragongirl04089; 06-18-2008 at 12:10 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-18-2008, 01:25 PM
Lurrrre! Yemen Lurrrre! is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Id say its good plot wise but it was a bit blurry, and I'd go with some other speech bubbles well there okay just make the tail point to there face, A better font because its sort of small to read, I can read it fine but everyone complains about it so turst me they will 5.7 Good!
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Old 06-18-2008, 05:24 PM
SilverStud SilverStud is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

As Lurrrre! said, the plot was okay, but the speech bubble tails need a lot of Slim-Fast or something. The "Will you play with Tingle?" tail was FAT! If you can find a speech bubble tool on whatever program you use, you will be better off.
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Old 06-18-2008, 05:30 PM
Elder Blizz Elder Blizz is a male Argentina Elder Blizz is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

The border outline on the speech bubbles are okay as far as thickness is concerned, but they looked torn to shreds in several places. The real problem is in having very small text that is difficult to read. Also, on panel three, remember that readers read up and down, then left to right. Meaning, Cloud's bubble should have been the highest since he was the first to say something in that panel.
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:20 PM
Dragongirl04089 Dragongirl04089 is a female Dragongirl04089 is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

I used paint so the speach bubbles I'll just have to work on a little bit. Next time I will use a bigger font. Does the storyline work ok?
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:37 PM
SilverStud SilverStud is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Kinda, except for...well, what led up to the fight?
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Old 06-19-2008, 10:16 AM
Elder Blizz Elder Blizz is a male Argentina Elder Blizz is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Quote:
Does the storyline work ok?
Don't know. I can't really read it to tell you.
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Old 06-20-2008, 11:11 AM
William William is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

I would like to take your comic to gimp, and un-blurrify it ;_;
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:29 PM
Dragongirl04089 Dragongirl04089 is a female Dragongirl04089 is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

It got blurry after I uploaded it to Photobucket so I could post it here. Does anyone know how I can fix it?
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Old 06-20-2008, 11:39 PM
Prof. Fish United States Prof. Fish is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Sorry I didn't get around to critiquing this until now, but here it is, some pointers for you.

1. You saved the image as a JPEG. While JPEGs are great for photos, they make sprite comics all blurry and fuzzy. You should save your comics as PNGs (Portable Network Graphics).
2. I think PhotoBucket resized your comic. When you upload to PhotoBucket, be sure to check the "Under 1 MB" requirement.
3. You Italicize all of your text. Don't.
4. There's no reason for all that empty space between the title and the first couple panels.
5. Find a better way to make your speech bubbles. The "How to make a GOOD sprite comic" thread shows how to make decent speech bubbles using MS Paint.
6. Bigger text.

There's more than that, but I think that's enough pointers for now. Also, the errors above are easy to rectify, and you should be able to seamlessly integrate them into your next sprite comic, which I hope is coming.
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Old 06-22-2008, 03:31 AM
sage_of_fire sage_of_fire is a male United States sage_of_fire is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

I liked it. It was funny, and for the most part well made. I would agree with those above me in saying that the text is too small, it's blurry, and the speech bubbles could use some work (though I'm not one to talk there, MS paint is what I use for mine and they don't come out Much better. Also, no JPEG. JPEG very VERY bad for sprites. Like Mr. Fish said, PNG works best (took me a while to find that out the hard way) Well, considering I've pretty much just repeated everyone above me, I'll finish by saying again, great job.

PS: Photobucket has butchered some of mine too, so I can see that being the case.
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:31 PM
Tenshi_Hyoeyu Tenshi_Hyoeyu is a female United States Tenshi_Hyoeyu is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

It's freakin awesome only a lot o hard to read.
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Old 06-23-2008, 08:21 AM
Elder Blizz Elder Blizz is a male Argentina Elder Blizz is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

ImageShack > Photobucket.

Especially where sprite comics are concerned.
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Old 06-23-2008, 04:16 PM
Tenshi_Hyoeyu Tenshi_Hyoeyu is a female United States Tenshi_Hyoeyu is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragongirl04089 View Post
It got blurry after I uploaded it to Photobucket so I could post it here. Does anyone know how I can fix it?
i know....just upload it from your computer to your albums and that should work. ^_^
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Old 06-26-2008, 09:24 PM
SilverStud SilverStud is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Or just use Imageshack.us. If you do, don't make an Imageshack account. Just upload as a guest and save the links they give you.
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Old 07-05-2008, 06:53 PM
Linkmaster30000 Linkmaster30000 is a male United States Linkmaster30000 is offline
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Re: Cloud and Sephiroth Meet Tingle...

Agreed - Imageshack works wonders. Everything else I can think of to help has already been said, save for one detail.

I'm more for drawn out plots myself. Obviously this was meant as a "one-only" comic, but it might be helpful for you to create a slightly longer series. This will not only help you to experiment more as you go, but may also bring about new hints from the other comic artists here.

Overall, a nice job.
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