-Twilight Sanctuary-

[=Zack=]

Twilight Sanctuary


NOTICE: For ever time you click on this thread and leave without reading and commenting on my comics, a baby puppy either dies or will be killed...think of the puppies![/unfunny joke]

Hello, and welcome to Twilight Sanctuary, a Naruto sprite comic. This is going to be a major comic project. I've put a lot more time and effort into this comic. This is going to be a lot more organized than any other comic of mine you've seen before. It is an action and adventure comic, as well as some half-assed comedy here and there, and being a Naruto comic, look out for the infamous flashbacks . Or not. I made it using Paint, PhotoFiltre, and Paint Shop Pro 6. Grab some popcorn and enjoy .

~Chapter I: Clash~
Part 1: Sharingan
Part 2: Defeat? I say No!
Part 3: A Battle
Part 4: The Outcome

~Chapter II: Capture Arc~
Part 1: Allies
Part 2: Capture
Part 3: I'm Just Different...
Part 4: Encounter

[=Zack=]

Part 3 is up.

[Rantick]

Its good. The text seems clean and not too complex. But dont show off their powerfull forms yet. It just makes you seem a bit noobish, impatiant and stuff.

[=Zack=]

Originally Posted by Rantick

Its good. The text seems clean and not too complex. But dont show off their powerfull forms yet. It just makes you seem a bit noobish, impatiant and stuff.

I actually realized that flaw, but just let it be seeing as how Kyubi Naruto appears a lot, while Curse Seal-Level 2 Sasuke hardly appears, so he won't be in the comic for a long time.

[=Zack=]

Part 4 is up.

[GoldStud]

Well... hey!

First off... the spritework is great. All your copyings and pastings and scale-ings were great. I like the big sprites, I think it works well for you. Nothing to complain about here. I'll give ya 10/10.

Second, off... the special effects. There are some good ones, and some bad ones. The light effect in the first comic, like panel 4. That looked good. But the text effects? Not as good. You need some good fonts, dude. Go to www.dafont.com or Blambot Comic Fonts and Lettering for some good, free comic fonts. But I rated your effects at 6/10.

Third off! Speech bubbles. The bubbles themselves looked good, but, like I mentioned above, you need a new font. The font you're using belongs in essays and vocabulary homework. You need a font that matches your comic, like Action Man or some other comic book font. And I'd pick lighter colors for your bubbles, to make the text easier to read. But, this doesn't change the fact that you did use speech bubbles, which is more than a lot can say. 6/10, again.

Fourth off- Entertainment Value. As far as entertainment goes, you're all right. I can tell it's an action comic, so you sorta get a pass on plot, since you've only had 1 fight. And there's no need for humor (although it would help) since, again, it's an action comic. But there were no good close ups, and the sound effects either weren't there or were bland and out of the way. Since you're doing an action comic, you should get your hands on an old Marvel Spider-Man comic book. Look how the action is done there, with the KaSmacks and the spins and all the good close ups.

Anyway, ET value is, I'd say, 15/20.

So a 74%. I can tell you've worked hard, but you must know it can be better. Try some more close ups, some better sound effects and get some new fonts! That's my opinion.

[Agent Mothman]

Ugh, Naruto . . . I'm not a fan, but I won't let that become a bias against this.

1) Text/Bubbles- As GS said, text is way too plain, spice it up with a comic book/manga font for dialogue and something exiting for action. As for the bubbles, there's a bit too much empty space. Also, color coded can work, but make the colors actually make sense with the person (i.e. Naruto=orange, Sasuke=dark blue, Kakashi=light blue).

2) Plot- Can't say much, because the one panel you used to explain the plot was rushed and confusing, you shouldn't have to out-and-out say what's going on, unless you do a narrative. And then, it shouldn't be so blatant.

3) Sprites- Nice choice, but JSS is moar bettar.

4) Effects- It looks nice, but you didn't really do anything. You just used the sheet effects. I know you have some advanced IE program (PSPro right?), so use it! Make a glow, use some blurs, anything you can think of.

This is just preliminary crit, but that doesn't mean it's not important, you should catch these problems early on. And other than the stuff mentioned by GS or me, it's good.

AM~

[=Zack=]

Chapter II, Part 1 is up.

[WindWakerrules]

It's nice. I really like it! ^_^

[=Zack=]

Originally Posted by WindWakerrules

It's nice. I really like it! ^_^

Thanks.

If anyone noticed that the latest edition was sloppy, it was because I was sleep derived while making it.

[Agent Mothman]

. . . What?!

Kenshin is a Samurai. Samurai don't do magic jutsus.

And another case of mismatched colored bubbles.

AM~

[=Zack=]

Originally Posted by Agent Mothman

. . . What?!

Kenshin is a Samurai. Samurai don't do magic jutsus.

And another case of mismatched colored bubbles.

AM~

But everybody loves Kenshin .

Meh, like I said, I was sleep derived, so I really didn't care for the text boxes..

[Agent Mothman]

It doesn't matter if people love him, he's still not a Narutard ninja that magically heals people.

AM~

[=Zack=]

Originally Posted by Agent Mothman

It doesn't matter if people love him, he's still not a Narutard ninja that magically heals people.

AM~

We perfer Narunerds .

Back on topic, Kenshin is in the comic, so deal with it. I really don't care if he isn't a magical ninja or not.

[Rantick]

Loving the new one!

"Wait! You should read make out paradise!"

[Stupidmahn]

In my opinion, your best comic yet.
The plot seems a little bit rushed, i mean the intro, but it looks like its turning out to be cool! But maybe you should have sticcked to the plottiness thingamabober abou the samurai... :S

I like your speach bubbles, but you could use a waaaaaaaaaay cooler font! Just go to Dafont.com and find a good one there.

Effects are meh, just sheet effects. As said before, use all sorts of stuffs!

Overall, i like it, i know this is weird coming from me, but yeah, I actually like it! Good job TML, continue soon!

[=Zack=]

Part 2 is up. And yes, I still have colored boxes; kill me.

[=Zack=]

Chapter II, Part 3 is up.

Sorry for the wait. It is just, well...

Gears of War + Xbox Live = Staying up for three days with nonstop playing

Yeah...

[The Fierce Oni]

Yay! Xantos makes an appearance somewhere other than Ueshishen! (the Anime I'm writing and designing) Good for him!
They were great, you could make them a little longer, but nice improvements since the other comics you've made.

OFF TOPIC: Halo 2 + Xbox 360 Live + Limited Edition Halo 3 Mountain Dew = Well...You get the idea. NONSTOP! The only downside is no headset. I need one so I can cuss out all the newbz who think they pwn.

OFF TOPIC2: Oh and I preordered Halo 3, did anyone else?

[Flying Dutchman]

Originally Posted by The Fierce Oni

OFF TOPIC2: Oh and I preordered Halo 3, did anyone else?

General Gaming section is your friend.

Yeah, follow AM and Gold on this one. They pretty much said everything I had to say about this comic (damn you two! XD).

[=Zack=]

Chapter 2, part 4 is up for you to enjoy.

[Stupidmahn]

Very good job! I see you've been using blur effects now! GOOD JOB!

[=Zack=]

Update: I've added a fancy-ass animation on the first post. Enjoy.