~*~ Dawn of Shadows ~*~

[=Zack=]

~*~ Dawn of Shadows ~*~

Hello, and welcome to my humble thread. Here, I am posting my first ever sprite comic. It only took me minutes to get into the whole idea. I was hooked from the start. I am now posting a little of my comic so far. This is, unlike most sprite comics, a serious story about how two brothers who once were very friendly turn on each other for a stone that can bend reality. There will be romance, action, adventure, hell, maybe even a joke or two . Please, comment on my story as much as you like .

~Chapter 1 -- Just Runaway~
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

~Chapter 2 -- What I've Done~
Part 1

Also, you may notice that each part is broken up into four large boxes. I can't fit any more, the website wouldn't be able to hold it . I'll make more as I go along.


~*~ What I'm Attempting to Improve On:
- Grammar (this counts spelling)
- Solid(er) plot
- Text bubbles

[WALL•E]

A very interesting comic, to say the least. I haven't seen one so story-driven since, well, Zeldish. It could definitely use some work, but you are well on you way.

I cannot stress how impressed I am with this comic. It's story, mood, tone, and plot make up for areas in which it is lacking. You're comic is very well done in those departments. It feels like a real story (which many comics lack around here), as if you just opened a book and it sprang to life before my eyes. Thought the feeling's there, this comic is lacking in other places which I'd be happy to go over with you.

1. Picture quality- did you save your files as .jpg? That's bad. Try .png for sprite comics. jpg brutally murders comics and is a spriter's worst enemy.

2. Animation- this is typical for someone new to spriting, so don't feel bad about it. Your comic is lacking in movement. Simple animations like a few lines for swishing the sword would improve in the department greatly. And some onomatopoeia, (like "KER-SPLOOSH!" when Zack jumps in the water) would really help too. In time and with practice, you should be able to accomplish animation like a pro.

3. Word Balloons- This is extremely important for any sprite comic. It makes dialogue much easier to read.

4. Other- This is merely a suggestion, but with comics, don't worry about typing in all caps. In fact, it looks much nicer that way.

Once again, I'm very impressed with this comic! It reminds me a lot of Zeldish. You could check it out for inspiration if you like.

Just tweak and fine tune a bit, and you'll be in ship shape! ^_^

I shall watch on with interest, or as they put it in Smack Jeeves..

Fav'd.

[Genshai_GFX]

You should check out the How to make a "GOOD" sprite comic thread. It should help you lots

[Flying Dutchman]

Originally Posted by Rantick

You should check out the How to make a "GOOD" sprite comic thread. It should help you lots

I like you already.

[Genshai_GFX]

lol. Could you check the thread FD? you have a few reveiw requests...

[Agent Mothman]

Well, the plot seems solid, and the backgrounds and sprites are good, but the text is where it falls short.

The text almost dissappears when it goes over the dark parts of the background. And there are a few typos, including spelling 'Ganon' 'Gannon'. I believe that constitutes a Ganon-Ban.

AM~

[=Zack=]

Rantick -- I've re-read that sticky so many times...that's how I started this all.

Blizzaga -- Thank you for the suggestions. I will try to best to improve. Also, I write the way I do because I use to write a ton of very discriptive fan-fictions about my favorite anime and whatnot. It has just carried on .

[Genshai_GFX]

just a suggestion, if you have a big signature ( like you do) untick the box that says "Show your signature" it helps people who have dial-up or just hate scrolling downwards a lot to see a comment or two

[=Zack=]

xD I have dial-up. I live out in the country where there aren't any towers supporting high-speed.

[Genshai_GFX]

well then you would be an idiot to have such a large signature...

[=Zack=]

I've gotton so use to waiting with dial-up I really don't mind large images.

[Genshai_GFX]

well other people do.

[Flying Dutchman]

It's also against the rules.

[Genshai_GFX]

Oh yea... its WAAAAAAAAAAY over 400x150...

[Agent Mothman]

Ya know what else is against the rules? Spam. And that's what this topic is becoming full of.

Let's just talk about the comics from now on. Keep all conversations in PMs or IMs.

AM~

[=Zack=]

Listen to Agent, he knows what he's talkin' about.

P.S. I've edited my signature, and I'm about to put up the link for the fourth part of Chapter 1.

[Flying Dutchman]

Right, right.

Anyway - I'd like you to try some new things I thought of.

Such as correct sprite resizing, matching backgrounds and something I like to call 'textboxes'. It's the next big thing, my agent says so.

[=Zack=]

I've already added textboxes onto my latest addition, my agent says so .

Like I said earlier, I'm trying to improve the best I can. This is my first time, after all.

[Agent Mothman]

Am I ur Agent FD?

And while you did use bubbles, they weren't the best. They need to be smaller, less white space; and they need a border.

AM~

[=Zack=]

Originally Posted by Smeezette

I've already added textboxes onto my latest addition, my agent says so .

Like I said earlier, I'm trying to improve the best I can. This is my first time, after all.

^^^

[=Zack=]

Chapter II, Part 1 is up!