Legends of Shadow. ~By SV~

This is my first sprite comic, using Paint. Enjoy, and please comment.

nice boxes. I was thinking about using those now, but I am too lazy.

Nice, but the panels are way too big. Panels should only be as big as they need to be. Other than that, there aren't any glaring problems.

AM~

Level Two is now out! "Stinkin' Fairy My Wings!"


Sorry, it's kinda big...It's the only way I can get all the text to fit.

I color coded the text now, so it would be easier to tell who's talking.

Sorry 'bout the double post...got a new level for the comic.

Level Three: Funny Green Hats. Please Comment.


Please reply people! I feel ignored for some reason...

Peach: You feel ignored? WHAT DO YOU THINK I FEEL!
ShadowVaati: What? What in the world are you talking about?
Peach: You write this comic, right?
SV: Yea...how are you even talking to me?
Peach: That doesn't matter! Why didn't I get a line!
SV: You just had nothing to say, that's all. You'll get a line eventually.
Peach: I BETTER!

COME ON PEOPLE, SAY SOMETHING!

Comments please!

Level Four: Shut up, or blow up.

I can't believe no one is anwsering this thread, since after the other 2 comics!
To those who think he sucks get a life!
Back on topic!

*can you show me wheres the bathroom!*

LOL! That was funiest line I have seen!
And that part where toad gets blown up is funny too!

Great comics! Keep goin with em.

Originally Posted by icewizard292

I like Mario and I like Link so I guess I like these comics.
Great job ShadowVaati keep them coming please
will vaati be in the comics?

Vaati may be in the comics. Would you like him to be?

Originally Posted by Hettman

No need to thank me!
I can't wait till the next one is out!
And by the way the warping efects very well done!

The next one will probably be out tomorrow.

Or I may have time for another tonight.

Two in a row? What devilry is this? Oh well...

Level Five: Kinderblock. Please comment.

Sprites: 7/10

PRO: Character expressions are done well, you can tell what each character is doing.

CON: Resizing your sprites is not done too well on some panels when you zoom in on your characters, they and the background look deformed, for example, look at your third comic, fourth panel.
Also, I do not like how you have mized different bittages, you have mixed 32-bit sprites (eg: Peach) with 16-bit sprites (eg: Luigi). Also, I do not know why but to me that bomb explosion looks 8-bit to me.
I also found it a bit odd when you used a custom made Mario sprite and a Super Mario World Luigi. Luigi is supposed to be taller than Mario.

Backgrounds: 10/10

PRO: Great, nothing wrong with them.

Text: 6/10

PRO: Original text boxes, gives the comic a Zelda feel.

CON: Some spelling mistakes. Sometimes I cannot tell who is speaking. However I am grateful that you used colour in the text, it makes it so much easier. Though I still feel it needs improvement somehow. No sound effects either, that loses a mark.

Special Effects: 7/10

PRO: The effects are where they should be.

CON: I did not like the vortex at the beginning. It wasn't very....vortexy. Heh. I did not like it how it was just the same swirl copied and shrunken down.
Also the bomb explosion could use a bit more work.

Story: 5/10

PRO: It has a basic plot.

CON: At the start, it seemed a bit rushed when the Triforce was instantly snatched from Link's clutches once he had reunited it. I did not like it, but that's just my taste.
Also it seems a little too random, not like a real story. However it is supposed to be an amusing comic so I cannot complain too much.

Panels: 4/10

CON: Well...they are not good.

Too much spare space, that's why the whole thing is large. Unnecessary colours in the spare space, they do not help with the comic. Only hurt the eyes.
The credits at the end, as FD would say, look attached to the comic and not a part of it. I thought the little joke at the end was cool though, and the panel at the end with the inverted Vaati Reborn is also a welcome addition, but they are not entirely necessary.
I also think the borders are too large, and not straight either.

Overall: 79/100

Not a bad comic series for your first try. Especially with paint. However I suggest making them smaller, or at least just post a link to them so they do not take up half the page. Improve the comic with the suggestions I have given you and learn from the guide FD has made, then it will become a succesful comic.

I look forward to seeing Vaati, make sure he is dark and scary. :P

As for the different Luigi, I couldn't find a custom Luigi. Otherwise I would have used it and he would be the same bittage and type as Mario... And zooming in didn't work so well at 150%. 200% and 400% seemed to have worked fine, but 150% just looked...messed up.

I never noticed any spelling mistakes, I'll look out for them. Ah, found one. Pieces, not peices.

I looked everywhere for a stupid vortex and couldn't find one. If you have a good vortex sprite I could use then I would appreciate that. I found some better explosions yesterday, so that should fix that problem.

The beginning of the story was rushed, cause I wanted to get right into it. Now that I look back at it though, I could have done that better.

I'm not quite sure how to make the panels any smaller, I have them as small as they can be and still hold everything in that frame.

Vaati will appear in the comic eventually...

Here is a link to a test comic. Tell me if the panels are okay in this one.

http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/8...conceptqz4.png

The panels are perfectly fine, the border/space between them is not however. The panels are not in line with each other.

Reduce the amount of space in between each panel by about one pixel and it should be fine.

After lying in shadow for many moons, the story arises from the ashes. In other words, the author finally got around to finishing a comic! The biggest problems are fixed: The panels have been revised , the explosions are better bittage, and I have a much better Luigi (although he isn't in this comic, he comes later.) Oh, and I added sound effects!

Enjoy.

Level Six: My Two Pose Sprites

Pretty sweet! I do hope you know where this is going to go. I wouldn't want this to stop suddenly. It looks great, especially with the empty space in between the panels being gray, I use black. Here's a link to mu comic, The Legend of Nothing