How to console someone?

My boyfriend and I are in a LDR, and the other day he got news that a close relative of his passed away. He's had a long string of tragedies recently, and I'm worried this one might be too much.

I don't know what I should/can say about it; if something like this happens to someone can't you do anything more than listen or let them vent? I'm doing that at the moment (on MSN and skype) ....but all he says is he needs space and he doesn't want his problems to affect me. I want to say something to console but it all sounds so cliche and insincere. I got scolded by a mutual friend, saying I should find the source of the problem to try and ease the pain, because just listening isn't enough. Not sure what the root of it would be other than: regret over not being there for them? losing someone he cares about? Can anyone share some insight with me?

I don't know what to do *sighs*

I know the feeling very well.

I'd definitely say that when I've been through situations like that, having a loved one care and listen and give advice has been the best thing that person could do for me. There is seriously nothing else you can do as a loved one at that distance, so don't blame yourself for not being able to perform freakin' magic from far away.

It's better to share your feelings with eachother, rather than shun away as he seems to want to do. He thinks he'll burden you by telling you how he feels, but I think that will just make you feel worse. Sometimes, we fear something, but the measures we take to avoid it actually lead us there anyway. It's ironic.

And don't torture yourself over it. Believe that he will recover, by also being a part of the recovery. You're not doomed.

Good luck. : ) It always works out fine.

I agree with the post above. Just keep giving him advice and talking with him. Thats all you can really do. And you certainly don't want to just leave him and let him deal with it himself.

Thanks guys, I'm hoping stuff works out ok....gotta keep trying....