Abstinence or Safe Sex?

Which method of sexual education do you believe is the most efficient? Talk about it, debate it, whatever. The rest of this post contains my own crazed opinion, so, you can read it, or skip it. Your choice.

I mostly find myself agreeing with the Right Wing, except for cases on sex and sexuality, when I tend to be more liberal. However, after thinking about it for a bit, I'm actually starting to think that the abstinence approach to sexual education is probably the better alternative.

First of all, I do not believe that it is wrong to masturbate and/or have sex regularly. Do what you want, I don't really care what choice you make. Have fun.

However, sometimes, it can become more than that. You see, although I don't believe it is wrong to have sex regularly, sex is, unfortunately, used as a measure of a person's class or "quality of life" in certain places. There are plenty of teenagers that see it as "cool", and put-down other children for not having sex. These put-down children either grow cynical, or put to much effort into trying to have sex. Generally, they end up unhappy. Again, not all child societies are like this, but plenty are. The only way to solve this problem, I believe, is to slowly make sex a subject of less prominence in general culture. Less music videos overly-glorifying it, less used as a primary source of inspiration for movies or television series, less giving it such high importance.

And, I see abstinence education as a way of helping with that problem. It could help remove some of the "You have to have sex to have a fulfilling life" ideology that some people carry. Or, it could do nothing, and I'm just spouting a bunch of bull****. It could go either way.

Anyway, on with the thread. Discuss n' debate n' stuff.

I think a lot of this topic is to do with religious preferences. Most likely those of us who consider ourselves to be Religious will promote abstinence until marriage whereas many aesthesis would agree to the ‘safe-sex’ option. However, I do know of non-religious people who preach abstinence so I think it is all to do with morals also and a personal standing on what you believe these morals should be.

Studies show that "abstinence only" education doesn't work.

No matter what you do, teenagers will have sex.

If you lie to them about how effective contraceptives are, then they won't see the need to waste money on them.



I don't know, perhaps "safe sex" ed. leads to more sex, but it also certainly leads to far fewer STDs and pregnancies.

Originally Posted by Artorium

I think a lot of this topic is to do with religious preferences. Most likely those of us who consider ourselves to be Religious will promote abstinence until marriage whereas many aesthesis would agree to the ‘safe-sex’ option. However, I do know of non-religious people who preach abstinence so I think it is all to do with morals also and a personal standing on what you believe these morals should be.

I agree 100% with your post. I, as an atheist, consider the freedom to choose for your own to be pretty important. So if people want to have safe sex for whatever reason, I'm okay with it. If people don't want to have sex until they're married, that's also fine to me.

Abstinence will always be safer thougj, as birth control can fail, and I know someone who has experienced this. Then again, I know many people with somewhat strange sex-stories, all proven to be true...

And even if someone would claim to never have sex before marriage because of his/her religion, the right circumstances might still drive that person to have sex.

Abstinence. It shows you have stronger character and self control if you wait till marriage, plus a sense of morals.

I waited till marriage. It was so worth it. It makes the marriage much more important.

We are all Teenagers here...or have been and know what its like. Some of us can wait which i commend but others cant and we knbow that most likely we will have some sort of sexual experience before getting married. Becasue of that fact i think its best to teach Safe-Sex personaly and it worked for me persoanly. becasue of the correct method of education, i was ready and and everything.

Originally Posted by Artorium

We are all Teenagers here...or have been and know what its like. Some of us can wait which i commend but others cant and we knbow that most likely we will have some sort of sexual experience before getting married. Becasue of that fact i think its best to teach Safe-Sex personaly and it worked for me persoanly. becasue of the correct method of education, i was ready and and everything.

Hehe I'm not a teenger, I'm 21. Been married for a year. But I was a teenager, so I know what its like to be tempted to do it, hormones are powerful, and sometimes annoying, but I kept myself clean, put my foot down, and only did kissing, nothing sexual of any nature, not even necking or petting.

I saved myself for my husband and only my husband.

Safe sex. You really can't stop people from having sex before marriage, at least this way they are better prepared.

Originally Posted by sugarpoultry

Abstinence. It shows you have stronger character and self control if you wait till marriage, plus a sense of morals.

I waited till marriage. It was so worth it. It makes the marriage much more important.

What do you mean by that? Are you saying that people who have sex before marriage don't have a better character and sense of morals?

Nice sig by the way.

Originally Posted by Andross

Which method of sexual education do you believe is the most efficient? Talk about it, debate it, whatever. The rest of this post contains my own crazed opinion, so, you can read it, or skip it. Your choice.

I am a 26 year old virgin that will be turning 27 in May. Yesterday my girlfriend jokingly asked me when we were going to start having sex. This was in the parkinglot at work, where we arrived in separate vehicles coming from our own homes.

I started playing around, saying "you should have asked when you were over at my place", and kissed on her a little.

However, as the workshift passed I began thinking of it seriously. We aren't at a stage that I would seriously consider having sex with her. We haven't gone out on a romantic date, and she hasn't ever leaned over to kiss me at all. She doesn't even stand still when I kiss her, though hugging and sitting close to each other is fine.

I don't think we've yet broken the "good friends" barrier into intimate type activity. I'm not really in love with her yet, and I don't think sex will enter the picture for a while.

We're still in the phase where we talk to each other a lot, ride around with each other, and spend some money for each other.

I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone that I wasn't at least going steady with. If I had a kid, I'd start talking to him about sex after his thirteenth birthday. I'd say something along the lines of "You're now officially a teenager, so it's time I tell you about the biggest part of being a teenager." Afterall, the biggest thing in a teenager's life is hormones, sex, and how to deal with the issue while juggling the rest of their life.

I'd be more for abstinence, with the aid of masturbatory stress relief. It helps in my case, though my girlfriend says sex is so much better than masturbation. I'll take her word for it, but it is a helpful activity.

^ So, um abstinence or safe sex?

Originally Posted by Eternal Paradox

^ So, um abstinence or safe sex?

I'd be more for abstinence, with the aid of masturbatory stress relief. It helps in my case, though my girlfriend says sex is so much better than masturbation. I'll take her word for it, but it is a helpful activity.


Forgot to add that part. I got caught up in my little story.

I think the best sex education is one that simply gives all of the best options, and let's the individual decide for themselves. All the methods of practicing safe sex should be taught, from condoms to the pill, and everything in between. Abstinance shouldn't be preached, but should be given as the only 100% way to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnencies.

I guess I've been pretty lucky in my sex education, because I feel like that's how it's been taught to me, and I feel I've made the best choices for myself and my partners when it comes to sex and sexual activity. I don't think I ever had to debate if I was going to be abstinant, it was always sort of a given for me not to be, but I flat-out refuse to have actual intercourse unless there's at least a condom and the girl is on birth control.

I think that this can be seen like abortions -- if you make it illegal, it's just going to be pushed underground. And backstreet abortions are seriously dangerous things -- if we look at England in the middle ages, abstinent young women pregnant out of wedlock were hung and burnt and peanalized and went suicidal and suchlike.

Abstinence will end up broken whatever -- there'll always be someone. I think there should probably be both -- so people know the moral values, as well as the scientific values.

I'd be more for abstinence, with the aid of masturbatory stress relief. It helps in my case, though my girlfriend says sex is so much better than masturbation. I'll take her word for it, but it is a helpful activity.

I think of masturbation as a dangerous activity -- you have all these chemicals released with nowhere to be chanelled to, there's no other person for all these emotions to go towards -- so you would direct them haphazardly, even at people completely wrong for you. And while I honestly can't comment much further -- it seems like something that poses the possibility of causing serious mental stress.


Now, I'm by no means knowledgeable in either of those subjects -- but I hope my points were useful.

I always pee before I masturbate, so my bladder is empty before I start. It never caused me any mental stress, and actually relieved a lot of stress I felt before I started masturbating.

There's a negative stigma around it, but it's a usually safe procedure. I do it weekly, and definitely approve.

I always pee before I masturbate, so my bladder is empty before I start. It never caused me any mental stress, and actually relieved a lot of stress I felt before I started masturbating.

There's a negative stigma around it, but it's a usually safe procedure. I do it weekly, and definitely approve.

What I'm saying is -- it gives a load of hormones 'n stuff to the brain which have nowhere to go. They mill around, affecting your everyday actions instead of doing their job encouraging you to stick with the person you're with, 'cause there isn't one. You get what I'm saying?

I don't know what it does to the brain, but it's possible (and I'm not trying to offend at all here) that you don't notice the stress because you're not thinking straight.

Originally Posted by Awkin

What I'm saying is -- it gives a load of hormones 'n stuff to the brain which have nowhere to go. They mill around, affecting your everyday actions instead of doing their job encouraging you to stick with the person you're with, 'cause there isn't one. You get what I'm saying?

I don't know what it does to the brain, but it's possible (and I'm not trying to offend at all here) that you don't notice the stress because you're not thinking straight.

I don't understand where you're going. See, I kept having feelings before I started masturbating, and they had nowhere to go because I had no one. When I started, they would subside for a while. You're backwards.

Life has been much LESS stressful when it included masturbating.

^Doesn't that mean that you're chanelling your emotions into things that don't exist? Because all these emotions are going towards whatever you're visualizing when you're doing the deed.

And is that healthy?

I understand what you're saying -- and it makes sense, yes, since it works for you. But I place clarity of thought above stress -- and anything that might jepordize that isn't worth it. Just because it relieves stress doesn't mean it's good thing to do -- the stress is present, and blocking it out isn't as good a shiz as dealing with it.

Originally Posted by Awkin

^Doesn't that mean that you're chanelling your emotions into things that don't exist? Because all these emotions are going towards whatever you're visualizing when you're doing the deed.

And is that healthy?

I understand what you're saying -- and it makes sense, yes, since it works for you. But I place clarity of thought above stress -- and anything that might jepordize that isn't worth it. Just because it relieves stress doesn't mean it's good thing to do -- the stress is present, and blocking it out isn't as good a shiz as dealing with it.

Well what would you suggest anyway? Certaintly not that I need to find some porstitute to do instead of jacking off. I mean, I consider jacking off a way of dealing with the stress, and trying to ignore it blocking it out.

I see no problem teaching that it's safest to wait till mariage, and certainly guaranees that it's out of love, and not just horny teenager-ness...
But we need to be realistic and know that even if we teach and teach til' we're blue in the face, you can't control a human being and people are still going to choose to have sex before marriage. that is why accurate and thorough infoRmation needs to be taught so that if they choose not to wait, they'll at least be preventing an unplanned pregnancy, or the spread of STD's which is good for society as a whole.

Originally Posted by Artorium

Most likely those of us who consider ourselves to be Religious will promote abstinence until marriage whereas many aesthesis would agree to the ‘safe-sex’ option. However, I do know of non-religious people who preach abstinence so I think it is all to do with morals also and a personal standing on what you believe these morals should be.

I'm pretty much an atheist though and I believe that it's better to be abstinent than to go and have sex before marriage.

I do believe that it's way better to save it for the person who will always be there for you and who will return your love. I feel like the only way to actually be able to return another persons love is confess it to the other person and ask the question (when people are old enough). People in this century are way more sex oriented then ever. It always has to be about sex and how many people another person has "did it" with to gain respect. I have openly said to anyone who's asked that I'm going to be abstinent until I marry the one I love, and even now with the person I'm with right now I would save it until we are old enough to get married. It's extremely hard to control my feelings for her and sometimes I do think about it, but I know if we did have sex then all my words would mean nothing if I can't prove that I'm going to be with her the rest of my life. If you look at the media today it's all about sex. It's always "with our product you'll look sexier and guys/girls will swarm around you, and you'll get lucky every night" That just shows that People of this century want sex more than anything. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing, but what most people think is that it's the ultimate form of love for another person, that's wrong because usually by the time it's over one or the other member of the relationship is going to leave especially if the woman gets pregnant. I don't feel that I need to have sex with a girl to show her I love her, I feel that talking and understanding one another until the day both people are completely and utterly together is the ultimate form of love. I like the idea of giving myself to the one I know who will love me so that’s why I’m staying abstinent because in my eyes that’s the ultimate form of love.