Abstinence or Safe Sex?

Everyone has some kind of agenda. Doesn't mean the data's inaccurate, especially since multiple sources with differing biases reported it.

Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here and admit a few things.

First off, let me say one vital thing that will help you understand where I'm coming from; I was diagnosed with PGAD (if you do not know what that is, look it up. Now). I have been involved with masturbation for as far back as I can remember - and I have memories all the way back to age 3. You know the term "premature ejaculation"? I've more or less taken that to its highest extreme. Despite all of this, I am still a virgin by choice.

When I was a younger lad, my folks would say to me, "James, you should save sex for marriage."
Naturally, I would eventually question why, but never to my parents because that's not cool. However, I thought just to be safe, I'd stay abstinent, because back then my parents were my heroes and everything they said was right. In fact, most of what they still say today is right. Anywho, as I went through late middle school and junior high, I really struggled with the PGAD situation - and being a kid I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I almost gave in several times, but I'm glad I didn't; high school had some interesting things in store for me. I changed schools once I got into high school, and the high school I went to was the worst school in the city, in terms of the students. This ground was ideal for observation, since this is usually where social status is at its peak, and at this point kids are sleeping with anyone they can get in their bed.

I almost immediately noticed that the kids who flaunted their sexuality, in most cases, were also involved with drugs (some a lot more than others), were soon-to-be-dropouts, and really had no career (or future) planning. Of course, I realize now this is a rather sick generalization, but if you really look into it, you'll find it lines up a lot even today.

However, I still wasn't 100% convinced, not to mention the pressure was (literally) on with all my friends sleeping around and me being a virgin. I started asking adults big questions, like, "Are you a virgin?", "When did you lose your virginity?", "Do you regret it?", "Are you married?", "Is the sex better now that you’re married, or getting worse?"
Of course, I got a lot of varied answers, but the general gist of what I was getting was that when you sleep around a lot prior to committing yourself (mentally) to a person (which is usually solidified by marriage), it will take an emotional and mental toll on you, and will carry on into marriage. The sex will get less and less gratifying, and it will most likely either end in a divorce, or some incredibly extreme sexual experimentation (By that I mean anything slightly weird (oral sex) to illegal (incest)).

By now you're probably wondering what kind of sick kid in his right mind would observe his fellow students and poll adults all on a sexual topic?? Keep in mind I was still dealing with PGAD, and I was taking the topic seriously, because for me it was a very serious subject.

From all this, I've drawn my conclusion. Abstinence wins. And I am not afraid to say, point blank, that it is a moral statement. Yes, that means having sex before marriage is a sign of the opposite. I'm not saying it makes you a bad person, but it is a characteristic of one. It shows you have a disregard to something that is widely considered semi-sacred. As well, I have absolutely no conflict in telling people they should not have sex before marriage. Your default answer to that would be, "How dare you tell us how to live our lives!!"
Well, yes, you have a point, but no more than that of me telling you that you should not eat at McDonalds every day, or that you should not test how hot a stove is by touching it. You argue that there is no definitive proof that having sex at a young age has a negative impact. I beg to differ. I've only had to observe to see the negative impacts, and yes, I've worked hard to remove as much bias from such observations as I could. I have also done a fair amount of studies on biologic effects on the brain from having flagrant sexual relationships, and I've found similar results.

One last note, I noticed some people saying that there is no "right or wrong way" of going about dating relationships. And to an extent, I agree. However, I know there is a best way. And that is abstinence.

Originally Posted by Son Of Mido

Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here and admit a few things.

First off, let me say one vital thing that will help you understand where I'm coming from; I was diagnosed with PGAD (if you do not know what that is, look it up. Now). I have been involved with masturbation for as far back as I can remember - and I have memories all the way back to age 3. You know the term "premature ejaculation"? I've more or less taken that to its highest extreme. Despite all of this, I am still a virgin by choice.

When I was a younger lad, my folks would say to me, "James, you should save sex for marriage."
Naturally, I would eventually question why, but never to my parents because that's not cool. However, I thought just to be safe, I'd stay abstinent, because back then my parents were my heroes and everything they said was right. In fact, most of what they still say today is right. Anywho, as I went through late middle school and junior high, I really struggled with the PGAD situation - and being a kid I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I almost gave in several times, but I'm glad I didn't; high school had some interesting things in store for me. I changed schools once I got into high school, and the high school I went to was the worst school in the city, in terms of the students. This ground was ideal for observation, since this is usually where social status is at its peak, and at this point kids are sleeping with anyone they can get in their bed.

I almost immediately noticed that the kids who flaunted their sexuality, in most cases, were also involved with drugs (some a lot more than others), were soon-to-be-dropouts, and really had no career (or future) planning. Of course, I realize now this is a rather sick generalization, but if you really look into it, you'll find it lines up a lot even today.

However, I still wasn't 100% convinced, not to mention the pressure was (literally) on with all my friends sleeping around and me being a virgin. I started asking adults big questions, like, "Are you a virgin?", "When did you lose your virginity?", "Do you regret it?", "Are you married?", "Is the sex better now that you’re married, or getting worse?"
Of course, I got a lot of varied answers, but the general gist of what I was getting was that when you sleep around a lot prior to committing yourself (mentally) to a person (which is usually solidified by marriage), it will take an emotional and mental toll on you, and will carry on into marriage. The sex will get less and less gratifying, and it will most likely either end in a divorce, or some incredibly extreme sexual experimentation (By that I mean anything slightly weird (oral sex) to illegal (incest)).

By now you're probably wondering what kind of sick kid in his right mind would observe his fellow students and poll adults all on a sexual topic?? Keep in mind I was still dealing with PGAD, and I was taking the topic seriously, because for me it was a very serious subject.

From all this, I've drawn my conclusion. Abstinence wins. And I am not afraid to say, point blank, that it is a moral statement. Yes, that means having sex before marriage is a sign of the opposite. I'm not saying it makes you a bad person, but it is a characteristic of one. It shows you have a disregard to something that is widely considered semi-sacred. As well, I have absolutely no conflict in telling people they should not have sex before marriage. Your default answer to that would be, "How dare you tell us how to live our lives!!"
Well, yes, you have a point, but no more than that of me telling you that you should not eat at McDonalds every day, or that you should not test how hot a stove is by touching it. You argue that there is no definitive proof that having sex at a young age has a negative impact. I beg to differ. I've only had to observe to see the negative impacts, and yes, I've worked hard to remove as much bias from such observations as I could. I have also done a fair amount of studies on biologic effects on the brain from having flagrant sexual relationships, and I've found similar results.

One last note, I noticed some people saying that there is no "right or wrong way" of going about dating relationships. And to an extent, I agree. However, I know there is a best way. And that is abstinence.

.

Originally Posted by Son Of Mido

[incredibly long post]

I require hard evidence, not merely your word, for these findings.

Originally Posted by Nietzsche

I require hard evidence, not merely your word, for these findings.

Forgive my arrogance, but I don't need to give you "hard evidence". This isn't a court case. I'm simply stating my personal life experience, and you are free to believe me or not. As a matter of fact, I notice I get that response a lot. Frankly, it's a bad response in my opinion. Instead of formulating a decent argument or making use of any of my points, you simply require me to "get some hard evidence". You and I both know full well no matter what "evidence" I try to get, it will not satisfy you, so there really is no point in trying.

Also, I realize it's a long post. I apologize, but I had a lot to say.

Originally Posted by Son Of Mido

Forgive my arrogance, but I don't need to give you "hard evidence". This isn't a court case. I'm simply stating my personal life experience, and you are free to believe me or not. As a matter of fact, I notice I get that response a lot. Frankly, it's a bad response in my opinion. Instead of formulating a decent argument or making use of any of my points, you simply require me to "get some hard evidence". You and I both know full well no matter what "evidence" I try to get, it will not satisfy you, so there really is no point in trying.

Also, I realize it's a long post. I apologize, but I had a lot to say.

I'm not badgering you for the long post, simply quoting you. But keeping your entire post in the quote would've needlessly increased the thread length.


Moving on. If this is your life experience, back it up. Are you an isolated case? Or is your story extremely common? You need facts if you're going to debate.

Ah, I wasn't meaning to imply you were badgering me. I suppose it just dawned on me that I made an incredibly long post, and I thought it may have annoyed you or other people.

Anywho, as for backing up my life experience, it was really more of an eye-witness account, so I don't have tangible proof. But as far as I know, my personal experience was an isolated case, since I do not know anyone who has PGAD. My personal findings, however, were indeed extremely common. I'd recommend doing something similar in your own community, if you're up to it, and compare it to my findings.

Although, most of all this work was for personal gratification, so I rarely ever shared this information. I just though it would be useful information for you folks to use. I've more or less given up debating...

I partly agree with Mido but then again, I didn't wait.

There are the disgusting amounts of people who do throw sex around like it's nothing when it really does have a huge impact on your life, noticed or not. But there are also those people who end up having sex before marriage with the same person.
But
I'd have to say that I would urge people to wait. I'm not one of those religious people nor do I regret having sex before marriage. I think I was lucky in my case personally, I had infact found that one person to be with. But, that's not the point.
Point is that I think it would be better to wait just for the fact that I don't think most young people can handle the kind of emotion that goes with sex. I've never met a person in my life that's had sex and said they could live without it after. I'd say at least wait till after high school. HS is a frantic time for dating and I've seen alot of people get sucked into that cycle of random partners. And more importantly I think it's a better idea to wait till you can handle those mistakes that might happen if you do have sex on your own. (ie:std, pregnancy)

I agree with Midos for the most part. However...

Originally Posted by The Original Question

Which method of sexual education do you believe is the most efficient?

The question is not if you personally prefer abstinence or safe-sex.

Originally Posted by The Original Question

Which method of sexual education do you believe is the most efficient?

Originally Posted by Son Of Mido

From all this, I've drawn my conclusion. Abstinence wins.

Sorry if I seemed vague. Although I agree both should be taught. Equally. It's just abstinence is more effective when applied.

Fair enough. The problem I had was that your post only supported why it was a good personal choice, nothing really about the complications of sex-ed.

By looking at today's generation, i think sex education is the most important part of growing up or getting mature. I would prefer talking about it would be better than debating about it. Almost every teenager must be aware of sex education.

See this post.