The Art of Attraction (Sex Thread)

I hope this gets some interesting and intelligent disussion.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

For me, looking at a girl is fine. But I have to watch myself to make sure I don't uncloth her in my mind and imagine things I shouldn't.

Is porn wrong?

I beleive so. Porn encourages lust and perverts our view of sex.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

When they have a need for eachochother. When their relationship goes beyond physical attraction and they know they love eachother.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

When one no longer sees the woman, but sees a sexual object. Checking them out is perfectly fine as long as you remain courteous and polite.

Is porn wrong?

Yes. But erotic novels are not, because it requires imagination to boot. Porn, to me, is a little boy's way of making himself feel better.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

When both parties feel themselves ready, and can communicate on an emotional, nonverbal, level.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?
There's a difference? Heh, I guess sexual attraction is what happens normally due to hormonal type things. Lust is wheen you feed it with your mind and nurture that sexual attraction

Is porn wrong?

Yes. Its degrading to women, makes man think of woman as a sex objects, and is addictive, like crack, they say.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

When they have made a binding third-aprty and not-easily-broken commitment to each other, i.e, a marriage, or even an engagement. So many people think that they love someone, they have sex, and then they break up. It happens SO many times to people who think they are already devoted to thier partner that they would never break up.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

They are synonymous. Lust just generally refers to a stronger attraction. But chemically speaking, both use the same stuff, just lust, according to the definitions we seem to be using, has higher levels of them.

Is porn wrong?

I don't see why it is. Wolfen, are you going to give studies that show how porn increases our lust overall, and are you going to explain how this is a bad thing? If sex crimes are any indication, this study would strongly disagree with you.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

That depends on the couple. A lot of the emotional danger from sex comes from the fact that one of the same chemicals that increases our bonding also increases our trust. This chemical, oxytocin, is released (vassopressin, a similar chemical with similar effects is also released) in high doses when we have sex. We therefore risk trusting people we shouldn't yet trust, and this can lead to heartbreak when the trust is broken.

So basically, one of the biggest factors in determining when to have sex is whether you know you can trust this person. In a one-night stand, though, none of this applies. Since the question is asking about couples, I'm assuming a couple that will remain together for at least a week.

You should also make sure you're old enough to accept the possibility of something going wrong. If you're pro-choice, obviously this age is lower than for someone who would refuse to have an abortion (if you disagree with either of those position, save it for the abortion thread). If your condom breaks and you don't want an abortion, you have a chance of being stuck with a child while you're still working on your education.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

I actually agree with Mr. Fish here. Sexual attraction becomes lust when you dwell on what sexual thoughts sporadically enter your mind. A shorter way to put it would be sexual indulgement.

Is porn wrong?

I think of it as conditional:

- If you don't plan on entering any type of long-term relationship for the rest of your life, whatever. You're only watching people who agreed to it, anyway.

- Otherwise: One of the essentials to ensuring a successful relationship is commitment. And the best way of establishing a habit that shows commitment is by avoiding acts of lust (i.e. indulgement), which includes watching porn.

I emphasize that the reason I make two cases is that I don't believe the first case is harmful. With no intention of having a long-term relationship, you're not harming your relationship with any future partners. And again, what porn is done is done by those who agree to it. Of course, it'd be different if the porn watched involved someone who was tricked/forced into a sex act (e.g. children).

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?
For me, I think sexual attraction is looking at someone and thinking they are very good looking. I've always had the idea that lust was just wanting someone for the moment being and just wanting to have sex with the person and to have that "heat".

Is porn wrong?

I'm torn between this. I agree with those who said porn is demeaning. But then, I think it's just a (major) guilty pleasure for others. In all honesty, I don't care what goes on behind other people's closed doors.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

When the time is right or when both parties feel that they are ready. I don't think it's absolutely neccesary to wait for marriage nowadays (just be safe, use a condom!)

Originally Posted by Mr. Fish

Is porn wrong?

Yes. Its degrading to women, makes man think of woman as a sex objects, and is addictive, like crack, they say.

I really don't think it's fair to say that pornography is in essence degrading to women. To be honest, I have seen very little heterosexual porn, so I don't know much about how it tends to be presented or how the women are treated.

In the case of gay porn, however, of which I've seen my fair share, the men typically are treated with equal respect to each other in any production. It is clear that the actors are fully consenting to whatever they do, and usually they would seem to enjoy themselves quite well

It's also worth noting that this large part of the porn industry doesn't involve women in any on-camera roles. Some women are directors, though, as well as, presumably, in straight porn.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

Checking out others is fine, as long as you maintain respect for them.

Is porn wrong?

No, there's nothing wrong with pornography. If you don't like it, don't watch it.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

When all participants have given consent.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

They're roughly the same thing, except maybe sexual attraction is a clearer definition. Where do I draw the line? What line exactly lol... I could stare at women for the longest time, providing they don't exactly catch on

Is porn wrong?

No. It's even considered a way of pleasuring one's self. Though the idea of degrading women is there, it can't be wrong to look at porn in order to pleasure one's self through sexual images.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

Normally I'd say when both people agree on it (Trust me, that can be earlier than you expect ). But I guess the fair way would be when both of you trust each other long enough and well enough to know when to have it.

A thread about sex? Then why don't we actually talk about sex?

Anywho, attraction and lust, very close, but lust involves well, constantly imagining him/her without clothes and such. Lust is the illusion of need, attraction is a simple wish, while lust is an obsessive want.

Porn.
It's your choice to look at it. If you don't like it, then look away, but porn is on the same level as any other entertainment business, people making money off of others looking.

When should a couple have sex.
Well, who says you have to be a couple?? One night stands are fine, just don't act like a dick afterwards, if you felt the need to have sex with that person on that given night, then you should feel the need to treat them like you used to when you confront them again in the future.
Now, if your in a relationship, there is no set time to have sex, it is something that you should talk with your partner about (of course), it changes for every couple, and who I am to say when or when not another couple should have sex, I'm no third wheel, I'm no judge.
I've been in relationships with no sex, I've been in relationships where sex comes along alot later, I'm in a relationship right now where sex is the standard fanfare.
Sex changes from relationship to relationship, and simply sticking to your "guns" 24/7 really does prevent you from living life to the fullest.

And with that, I want to stress the importance of safe sex, one can always say, the safest sex is abstinence, and well, thats bullsh-t, sex is great, sex is something everyone should involve themselves in (world peace = lots of sex) but please, please be safe, no one wants a pregnancy scare, no one wants an STD, so please, all you kids at ZU, be safe.

Is porn wrong?

Either wrong, stupid, or both. But that's an opinion, so don't try to argue with me on that one.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

Not until after marriage, of course.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

Sexual attraction is the physical admiration of another person, a personal desire and a sense of intriguement on a sexual or physical basis, as something about the other person arouses interest in the mind. Lust is a much more physical sense in the terms of sexual attraction, in the sense of simple carnal want of indulgment with another person.

Is porn wrong?

Personally, I do not like it as I feel that it is degrading to both women to men. I've come across some online by accident and other times was shown, and I will admit that the majority of it in which I saw was of the heterosexual theme and was often degrading, not in a 'realistic' sense at all. However, it is personal choice to look at it and seek it out and to indulge in it. It is simply (sexual) entertainment for some people, even if it is on a more sordid level.

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

Whenever both people are happy to consent and are willing, whenever they've known each other for just an hour or ten years. Whenever they feel they are ready to have sex, that is their concern as it doesn't affect me at all and I shouldn't have to mind. For my own personal choice, I'd wait until both he and I were ready, no matter how long or quick that takes.

P.S: I don't believe that only couples who marry should be allowed to have sex. Marriage can be very costly, and not all couples will be satisfied unless they know they can be together on all levels before tying the knot.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

Lust is just a stronger sexual attraction, at least to me. Sexual attraction is admiring someones sexual appeal, lust is wanting to have sex with someone; it's just the next phase.

Is porn wrong?

No. It can be sick, but as long as no one gets hurt, there's nothing truly bad about it. It's just sex, which is natural.

Edit: Of course, murder is natural too...but you know what I mean...

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

A couple can have sex whenever they want. Different strokes for different folks.

2.) It's jus wrong. It makes guys think women of objects and not as people. It's just plain bad, like the KKK.
3.) Not until marrige. AIDS, PEOPLE!

Originally Posted by Solink

2.) It's jus wrong. It makes guys think women of objects and not as people. It's just plain bad, like the KKK.

So, you equate it to something with a negative public opinion? That doesn't prove it is bad. Furthermore, you have no proof that the KKK is in fact "bad." Your argument is invalid.

Originally Posted by Divine Dragoon

Yeah, it's like saying "Chocolate is bad for you, like Hitler."

Not as much, because if these two arguments were to correlate, that would be assuming the KKK is in fact, bad. Then again, you have a point, as Hitler can be viewed in a positive light, in that he was only looking to protect the bloodline of the master race. Much like the KKK, only in a more extreme manner. Either way, my original point stands.


Oh, and as for the topic:
1) I'll get back to this later.

2) If one is masterbating to porn, they are not committing any serious crimes.

3) As long as one person feels it is OK. After all, a relationship is about giving.

Where do you draw the line between sexual attraction and lust?

I'm not sure I do, actually.

Is porn wrong?
No, i don't, I see nothing wrong with pornography

When do you feel a couple should have sex?

When they both want to, I do not think it's necessary to love everyone you sleep with, as long as everyone involved are happy, all is well according to me.

Originally Posted by Jehanne

Irresponsible behavior of any kind should be looked down on. What that has to do with sex is dependent on the individual.

what kind of irresponsible behaviour are you referring to?

I really don't think it's fair to say that pornography is in essence degrading to women. To be honest, I have seen very little heterosexual porn, so I don't know much about how it tends to be presented or how the women are treated.

In the case of gay porn, however, of which I've seen my fair share, the men typically are treated with equal respect to each other in any production. It is clear that the actors are fully consenting to whatever they do, and usually they would seem to enjoy themselves quite well

It's also worth noting that this large part of the porn industry doesn't involve women in any on-camera roles. Some women are directors, though, as well as, presumably, in straight porn.

My point of porn being degrading to women arises not neccesarily from the porn itself, but from the fact that men tend to lower thier view of women as simlpy a way to stimulate themselves when they regularly view porn. Thus it degrades women at least in the eyes of men.

Now, I'm not a porn expert, and I'm glad I am not, but from what I see, most women in thier right mind probably wouldn't want to take naked pictures of themselves in compromising poses and show them for all to see. I think even a lot of self-degrading has to go on for a woman to "willingly" use themselves as anynomous stimulation for men for money.

Originally Posted by Mr. Fish

My point of porn being degrading to women arises not neccesarily from the porn itself, but from the fact that men tend to lower thier view of women as simlpy a way to stimulate themselves when they regularly view porn. Thus it degrades women at least in the eyes of men.

If you're going to make this claim, you'll need to back it up. Do you have evidence that men lower their view of women when they watch porn?

Are you opposed to all porn, or just certain types? Because to say that all porn is degrading to women is as far as you can get from the truth. Some is degrading to women, some is degrading to men, and some is not degrading at all. There are both pro-porn feminists and anti-porn feminists out there, and both have big numbers.