Racial Norms

This is another topic that I thought up of from another session of my interesting class sociology, and partly from an incident that took place a while back. The thing that sorts of matter that bother me as much as plain out racism is the attitude of racial norms.

To get to the point quickly, I'm talking about interracial relationships and according to racial norms, interracial marriages are looked down upon. I'm a white american and everything that was said about negative of anyone about their color I ignore. I was born to be prejudice to nobodies skin color, only the person's actions in life define him. And also I'd like to think that in every race and culture there is a good and evil, and a beautiful and ugly. So I just broaden my horizon to how many people I am likely for fall in love with.

One of my former best friends who is also white invited me to a party where his parents would be chaperoning (sp?) when I was in the seventh grade, I invited a girl named Solani who I had a crush on to come along with me. She was beautiful my mom would say and pretty or cute would be classified as an insulting description of her. Anyway, Solani and I were good friends and I brought her along with me. Not many of my white friends knew that I was talking to Solani at the time because she had different classes with me that did not connect her to my associates and I never bothered to mention my brown-skinned crush.

Once I got to the party, the embarassing thing was that everyone in the party was white and the only one there darker than anyone happened to be Solani. It must have been weird for her too because I just realize that I had not thought about how diversed the party would be. My so called best friend and most of his nazi guests were giving looks and expressions of Uh-oh-someone-doesn't-belong-here types.

We both stayed a while and ignored this until my best friend came up to while Solani was out of ear shot and asked me why did I bring Solani and that this isn't her type of party. I've seen my best friend have chats with other ethnic people but were never really close to or befriended any. And his comment about Solani caught me by surprise. I then asked him was his parents had specific guests in mind. And he told me that his dad thinks "the chick you brought here is wierd."

After he said this I went quiet and re-evaluated my friend and the reason why I came to the party with Solani, because I liked her and wanted to spend more time with her. I grabbed some drinks for myself and her and called my mom to get me the hell out of there so Solani and I could spend the rest of the day somewhere else. Solani was very glad to go, I realized and I hated myself at that moment for doing that to her. I went out with Solani until the end of eighth grade where she had to go back to Brazil and I lost contact with her since then.

I dropped my previous friends and hanged around more diversed people once I got to highschool. Even though extreme racism is not as strong as it used to be back in the days, "racial norms" are planted in kids minds most especially by parents and peers.

For example, I don't know if everyone of you guys every heard of the term endogamy? It is when someone is married to some one to his/her race, or any types of group. Like a rich person marrying another rich person, black marrying a black person, etc.

Endogamy is strong in all racies and societies. This sort of promotes racism I think. I once sat behind a mexican chick who turn down a black kid who asked her out saying "Sorry. I'm not into black guys." with a smile.

The black kid didn't take it personal at all because he is also friends with her, but for a reason I did. So this mexican girl would go out with any race except for blacks? That's not where it ends, it also happens with blacks "Yo, don't mess with dem white b*tches, dog. De' give you problems."

This goes happens in all races and I think it's what keeps racism around. My mother absolutely thinks that if every race mated with other races there wouldn't be much place for racism against color and racial prejudism will be eradicated.

A spanish friend of mine, had me around his house once and we were talking about all kinds of chicks, white, black, and spanish. His mom came around when he mentioned as a joke that he would marry a hot asian on the spot if he could. And his mother told him it would be best if he stuck to a spanish girl, and asians were nasty anyway.

It puzzles me why people what preserve color in family lines? Does it even matter if you mix it up a with a little ethnic spice? If people got over themselves with stupid endogamy the world would have better and more diversed societies, even when we are brought together (especially in USA; which btw is very diversed) we reject one another in a certain and sort of hypocritic ways.

I honestly think it's boring to hang out with only one particular race assimilating myself from other colors, I'd like to meet all kinds of people with all kinds of culture. What do you guys think about this?

I wonder why no body has ever posted in this thread. This is a very... unique topic, indeed. I never noticed what you noticed, Ryuin. I'm a product of an interracial marriage, german and spanish parents. My mom is sort of a mestizo, very tanned mexican, and my pops is actually american but had german borned parents, he's as white as snow.

According to you, racial norms are stupid and I have to say I agree with you. It's up to the parents to make sure their kids don't grow up biased and narrow minded about things like what you mentioned. This doesn't occur only among people but people to video games. Some peeps won't play a video game if the graphics are cheap, the eye can be very discriminating. Only choosing to see what appeals to the eye ain't to a good quality in a person.

My mother and grandmother always say things like "We have to keep our bloodlines pure." or something like that. I beleive that mixing it up would strengthen the gene pool. I'm mostly into caucasian girls, but there have been two black girls that I thought were pretty hot. I'd get kicked out of the family if I went with any girl that wasn't caucasian, but I'm not in a position to be picky.

Mixing races can only help in my opinion.

Pretty cool Daphnes. But it sucks that your parents are against you on going with a different race. Too bad... It only makes Ryuin's point stronger about racial norms. According to my family though I'm free to date anyone I want unless they are junkies, or drug dealers.

I hate how people stick to their race. Whites tend to hang out with whites, blacks with blacks, Asians with Asians, etc. Why do that? Why limit yourself? I know people befriend those similar to them, but I'd think befriending people with similar interests makes more sense than befriending people with similar skin tone.

I myself am attracted to any guy of any race. Depends on the individual, really. I think I've found guys of most races/descents attractive at some point. Some forgein guys are hotter, anyway.

Well, sometimes interests are tied in with race, as per society or not. However, I do think it's good to broaden your horizons and have lots of friends of different backgrounds, as well as significant others. I'm a product of lots of mixing, as well. I'm of English, Italian, Welsh, German, Irish, French, Cherokee, and possibly Scottish, Dutch, Danish, Spanish, and West African descent. Now, though the vast majority of my background is European, there's still a lot of European mixing in there. My girlfriend's of Spanish, French, Indian, Taino, and possibly West African descent. We're both very intelligent, so I think that that tied into the diversity of our gene pools would create some very healthy children.

Personally I don't go for black women, but that's not because of the fact that they're black but because I'm overly picky in my taste for women and really dark skin doesn't do it for me. Yeah...it's not that I'm racist...I'm just a pig...hm.

I will admit that I don't like most black people, though. Once more, though, it's not because they're black or because I find them to be inferior. The reason is because that every single black person at my school (with the exception of 2) acts exactly the same way. They dress the same, talk about the same things, do the same beats, and generally just hate white people. I'm not kidding. In fact, they're the most racist people I've ever met. It's just funny that they keep accusing white people of putting them down for being black (actually, not really funny...more ironic...it's gotten so annoying that it has lost all humor).

The Asians and Hispanics that I know of are all pretty much cool (except for the ones who act like the above black).

Anyway, I'm cool with other races, but I hate people who act like idiots. Wether white, black, brown, red, blue, green, yellow, muave, orange, or sapphire, if you act like a moron, I'll hate you.

I think most people here would agree that interracial relationships are perfectly respectable, and often admirable. The people ryuin described were obviously brought up in a pretty sheltered society, and never got to really know anyone who's not white.

Of course, if someone doesn't want an interracial relationship himself, it doesn't suggest any racism - every culture has a different idea of beauty. In some societies, fat is admired, because it shows wealth. In america, we spend billions trying to lose weight. so being brought up in these societies will often give us a subconscious bias towards people of our own likeness. This is why we need more cultural integration starting at a young age. At the moment, we spend the first 20 or so years of our lives fairly isolated from people who are different from us. When we then move into a society with gays, blacks, and other minorities that many of us weren't exposed to earlier, we often get irrationally uncomfortable. this is what happened at the party ryuin went to.

At the moment, most of these people described have a certain amount of racism forced into their heads. previous generations which were racist still refuse to let their beliefs go. they like to justify it by trying to "keep their bloodline pure." of course, they never can explain what's so appealing about a pure bloodline. one thing I loved about cuba was that there weren't just blacks and whites, there was everything in between. there was every shade imaginable, and everyone got along (but cubans are naturally friendl).

I would not turn a person down over race. If they are black, whatever. But, if she acts like a moron, I wont date her. That goes for any other race.

I personally only find European women attractive but that doesn't make me racist I'm from Europe Italy to be exact.I personally think that you should go out with people not because of their race but because of your attraction to them and that you have similar interests.

I have plenty of black friends I have plenty of Canadian friends but one group of people I'm not friends with are the jackasses and anyone who doesn't like someone because of their race is a jackass.

I think most people here would agree that interracial relationships are perfectly respectable, and often admirable.

I agree that interracial relationships are perfectly respectable but why would I admire someone because they find someone from another race sexually attractive?

This is why we need more cultural integration starting at a young age. At the moment, we spend the first 20 or so years of our lives fairly isolated from people who are different from us.

What about school aren't there people from other races at your schools? I know that at my school there are many kids that come from a country other than Canada like me.But maybe it's different where you live because I know that Montreal(where I live) has an extremely high immigration rate.

I'd think befriending people with similar interests makes more sense than befriending people with similar skin tone.

^quoted for truth

Originally Posted by rvdvrvd2003

I agree that interracial relationships are perfectly respectable but why would I admire someone because they find someone from another race sexually attractive?

People in interracial relationships are often looked down upon, so those who manage to stay together and get married and such should be admired.

Originally Posted by Miniblin

I hate how people stick to their race. Whites tend to hang out with whites, blacks with blacks, Asians with Asians, etc. Why do that? Why limit yourself? I know people befriend those similar to them, but I'd think befriending people with similar interests makes more sense than befriending people with similar skin tone.

It's not the race itself that makes people of a race stick together, it's the culture. If you grow up in a house with a certain culture you are obviously able to relate to other people who grew up in the same culture.

Originally Posted by IHN

I will admit that I don't like most black people, though. Once more, though, it's not because they're black or because I find them to be inferior. The reason is because that every single black person at my school (with the exception of 2) acts exactly the same way. They dress the same, talk about the same things, do the same beats, and generally just hate white people. I'm not kidding. In fact, they're the most racist people I've ever met. It's just funny that they keep accusing white people of putting them down for being black (actually, not really funny...more ironic...it's gotten so annoying that it has lost all humor).

Holy Superstar... I wonder where you live. In my school there are three categories of black people I can remember: Thugged out blacks (like the ones you mentioned), Oreo blacks (the ones who act preppy and white), and the hill people (who hang out with diversed people)

BTW, calling blacks inferior is a cheapshot and encourages racism. No race is inferior. It reminds me of something ignorant my sister said, she thought that all asian people could beat up anybody, which is so stereotyping.

I'm guessing you missed this part out in Ryuin's intro to this thread:

Originally Posted by Ryuin

I was born to be prejudice to nobodies skin color, only the person's actions in life define him. And also I'd like to think that in every race and culture there is a good and evil, and a beautiful and ugly.

My opinion is that everyone should be programed with this moral ^

In terms of just hanging out with people, I've never paid attention to the skin colour or ethnicity of those I chose as friends. Looking at things now, most of my friends are white, though with different backgrounds. That being said, one of my best friends from High School is Chinese, and throughout the years I've had friends of other races and ethnicities. I don't look to hang out with people because of their skin colour or background, if I like to spend time with them, then I will; plain and simple. Same with relationships, the only thing that matters is if you love them and like spending time with them.

Ive never been a racial person or payed much attention to peoples skin. In the area were i ;live Balcs and Whites mix but alot of the Asian Community tends to kjeep themselves to themselves and live in the bigger areas, citys etc

The only thing i have against asians is there slackness on the law, alot of asians run Newagents, off liences etc and they are slack on the keepin with Tobaco sales to the age of 16 and the selling of Beer to 18+ Adults which causes problems for local people, with Drunk youngsters on the streets.

Thank you for the wonderful thread Ryuin, it's a shame that you had to go through such a horrible experience during your junior high years.
Edogamy is still very very rapant today, many people will be attracted to those of their own race or culture because that's simply the way they grew up, which is a damn shame the way I see, every race has so much to offer genetically, studies have shown that some african americans are actually genetically stronger than other races, some/most irish have this strange ability to drink alot, sure, these things aren't really all that important in such a technologically advanced world, but nonetheless, we all have things to contribute to the next generation of human beings, so lets get nasty on one another

Anywho, I grew up with a white mother and a black father, sure I had an identity crisis, I still have one today, but seeing how my biggest romantic influence was biracial, i have an extremem tendancy to be attracted to white women, coincidentally my girlfriend of almost a year is half mexican and half white.

Yeah this thread was representing the mixed and interracial people world wide. I'm half-mexican and german. Mexican mom, and german dad. I guess he is permanently offline or not posting in this thread since he thought it was dead. It's a good thing that I revived it. Got some good replies.