Purpose of marriage from a Biblical viewpoint

I have a question for those who know the Bible well.

I've searched my Bible-encyclopaedia for leads to what the purpose of marriage is. I've tried marital; marriage; intercourse; childless; childlessness; children; and at last love. I found no matches.

I had a discussion with a person on another forum about the purpose of marriage. He stated it was for the sole purpose of reproduction and raising of the child(ren). I replied that I have found no such statement in the Bible.

And I'm thinking about my own coming marriage. I want to marry him because he's my soulmate. We have agreed not to have children(really, it was my wish not to raise children and he respected my wish and accepted it). None of us want to marry to have children.

So I'm wondering if we're wrong in intending to have a childless, or I prefer to say childfree, marriage. I find it hard to believe that I'm wrong.

Well from what I know...in Genesis God creates people in His own image and he says,

Originally Posted by Genesis 1:28

God blessed them and told them, 'Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Be masters over the fish and birds and all the animals'

Thats what it says in the bible anyways, but with your situation I think it is alright not to have children in this day in age. If you are happy with what you have and feel that you do not want children then there is nothing wrong. I hope this helps you anyways, althought this is a short post and hardly any content.

One thing the Bible says is that, 'Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled'. People are to enjoy their love one for another, and there is no necessity for them to have children if it is their desire not to.

I want to explain this: First, the joining together in marriage means that the two become one. They have made their choice for a soul mate (or the person they want to grow old with) and they become one in purpose, to support one another, they become one as a family unit. Naturally they become one flesh in their children as well.

Second: Marriage should be considered as a long term relationship and not entered into lightly, so allow for the time it takes to adjust, and grow together, before there are any life changing events like children.

Sad to say, I have seen couples who have gotten married and had a child within a year, and the child was somewhat resented by the parents. The poor child hadn't done anything to be resented, but the demands of a child destroyed the romance of the parents that they had enjoyed as a couple.

Third: Marriage is a great relationship, and decisions are made together. Who knows, ---those who decide not to have children (and there are many) can decide after two or three or five or more years to have children. (If they come too soon you can't give them back).

However, the above are just my opinions. I just like the idea that people still want to get married, and do think about it ahead of time, as you obviously have.

Originally Posted by Mrs Ganondorf

So I'm wondering if we're wrong in intending to have a childless, or I prefer to say childfree, marriage. I find it hard to believe that I'm wrong.

I don't believe it is wrong to have marriage without children, I think its wrong to have children without marriage. One day in the near or far future you and your husband may change your mind and that will be fine also. But some people can't physicaly have children and it is wrong to condem them for that, and some people arn't mentally ready for children and you can't condem them for that either.

No, it's not wrong. While it is a great blessing to have children at times, you don't have to have them. God created romance and He encourages people of the right age to do it (with the right gender). It isn't a sin not to produce (although God highly encourages it). Anyway, I hope your marriage goes well!

Hello's there Mrs to be =)
I know you requested information from the bible but I thought I would give you what the Qur'an says about the issue, being from the same source as Judaism and Christianity. Of course you may wish to completely disregard what I say since it's not what you asked for ^__^

Marriage in Islam is seen as a *strong covenant*. In it's importance, it's regarded as seriously as a covenant between God and a prophet before granting them the responsibility of prophethood.
The Qur'an also uses a term meaning *fortress* meaning that the marriage is a fortress of chastity.
There are many benefits and reasons to marry. One of the important aspects os to procreate naturally:

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them has spread abroad a multitude of men and women" (Quran: 4:1)

Someone put it better than I on another board so I shall quote them

Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological companionship. This companionship generates and sustains love, kindness, compassion, mutual confidence, solace and succor (sakinah). It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate and mutual rights of inheritance are established

Islam regards sex as natural and good, but restricts it to the partners of marriage so as to ensure the responsibility for its consequences. There is no unlawful sexual relations outside of marriage for a muslim. However, I'll conclude with a few verses from the Qur'an that speak of this topic, perhaps you may find something within them:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Qur'an 30:21]

"And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." [Qur'an 25:74]

"Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when or how you will." [Qur'an 2:223]

"Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments." [Qur'an 2:187]

"It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her . . ." [Qur'an 7:189]

"And Allah has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in vain things, and be ungrateful for Allah's favours?" [Qur'an 16:72]


(all emphasis is added by me)

from a new-age christian standpoint, It's definantly ok to choose not to have children, but! You must be open to the possibility, remember, codoms break!

well, you know, Gods first commandment to man was to, "be fruitful and multiply" before he said not to eat the fruit. So, God doesn't say that it's bad to not have kids, but that you should. And where did you search this stuff? The bible talks about marrage, sex, and children. You can't say the bible never says the word child. It say children of God, the son of God, the son of man, and many others. As for the purpose of marraige, I think is to have kids and raise them to be christans. Frankly, I don't see why you get married and not have kids. I think it defeats the purpose.
About to get flamed,
~Ganon not gannon

Originally Posted by OldschoolGanon

well, you know, Gods first commandment to man was to, "be fruitful and multiply" before he said not to eat the fruit. So, God doesn't say that it's bad to not have kids, but that you should. And where did you search this stuff? The bible talks about marrage, sex, and children. You can't say the bible never says the word child. It say children of God, the son of God, the son of man, and many others. As for the purpose of marraige, I think is to have kids and raise them to be christans. Frankly, I don't see why you get married and not have kids. I think it defeats the purpose.
About to get flamed,
~Ganon not gannon

Fair enough that is what marriage is like in the 50's...but in the new millenium I believe that it is cool to not have kids, I sure wouldnt persecute someone who doesn't. In the end it is plain and simple, if it is your choice not to have any then it is ok in this day and age...of course you cant plan everything though, as what was said before...comdoms do break and birth control is not definite.

Oh and thanks AQ, it was nice to see a different viewpoint...I never knew the Qur'an was so, whats the word...poetic.

Is it wrong to have children? No, of course not. The purpose of marriage is not solely for reproduction, as some seem to believe. Rather, the original point is that marriage is a sacred union of two souls destined to become one for eternity. Having children back then was almost a necessity, but now there are over 6,000,000,000 people on this planet. I'd say we've filled it, alright; we're bordering on overpopulation. If the sole purpose of marriage was for reproduction, then marriage would now be obsolete. Now that's just ridiculous.

God created Adam as the first perfect human. But when he saw that Adam was saddened to be alone, God took from Adam a rib and created a "woman" in likeness of him. In this way, Eve was literally part of Adam, and the resulting bond was something that would be passed down to this very day and beyond. This was Adam's soulmate, his missing half which Jehovah created specifically so that his human creation would no longer be alone in the vast yet beautiful world.

Be in love. Enjoy your life with him, and all will be fine. Who knows--perhaps your views on childbearing will change someday. I'd be willing to bet that will happen.

I'm not the religious man of the family and I'm not to clear on what the bible says but my mother who is a devout christian always told me marriage is a necessity it you plan to live with someone for the rest of your life. She explained her views to me and told me her opinions about marriage that it is a "pact of love". Children is not necessary for marriage, but Latter-Day Saints express that you can marry but if you don't plan to have children you CAN'T have intercourse with your wife or husband and if you do have intercourse, no contraceptives(condoms, etc.) can be used and so if you have intercourse with your spouse you have to have a child for each time you had intercourse according to Latter-Day Saints and that's just plain out CRAZY. A friend of mine from a latter day saints' church explained that to me.

Seventh Day Adventist which is my mother's religion require marriage between a couple before they have intercourse, they must both love each other to make marriage work, a marriage based on lust will be disasterous. No children is required. A seventh day adventist, preacher, Steve DeLong once said in a seminar that "You can do anything you want with your lover once you're married! The sex is not unholy in a marriage as long as it isn't sodomy."

My teacher once said that it isn't humans purpose to "be fruitful and multiply" anymore because the world has more than enough humans that it needs today. Me if I get lucky getting married I would like to have 1-2 kids and THAT would be IT. I only plan to have children because I think it would be fun to have a somewhat replica of myself and lover, and that fact that I have continued my family line will please me and my aging mother who wishes badly to be a grandma. So Mrs. Ganondorf you're doing the world a favor actually in not having children more to yourself and fiancee of course because it takes approximately $100,000,000 to raise one child into an adult these days, that's how much money you would have to spend for a child to an adult. It would also help the overwhelming population of the Earth in a very minor, teeny, kind of way. I also hope you have a good time in your upcoming marriage. Toodles.

Sir Auron- glad you appreciate the additional viewpoint ^__^ and the Qur'an isn't like any normal man-written book in it's verses.. It all follows the same style though.

because it takes approximately $100,000,000 to raise one child into an adult these days,

erm.. you are trying to tell me that anyone who will never earn even half as much as this in their whole lifetime shouldn't have children? and .. it really isn't necessary for the kids to have their own entertainment suites and hundreds of pounds splashed on them at every opportunity in order to *raise them up* properly.
(does ANYONE spend that much crazy money on their kid? we're 6 altogether and my father has certainly never earned even a fraction of that amount in his whole working career xD and he's a doctor )
*walks away still reeling from $100 000 000 claim*

Actually, Anime_Queen, it's closer to $87,000,000. He's not far off, but it's still a monstrous sum. So yes, if you don't plan on an occupation that will yield that much for 18 years, then childrearing shouldn't be your primary concern. ^_^;

It's good to see that there are still those in this world that do not practice premarital intercourse, Ryuin. Abstinence is so rare these days... Personally, I find the distinct lack of fidelity in our times apalling.

But right, back on topic. The point is, Mrs. Ganondorf, that you should be happy with your husband and love him. That's all it takes for a successful childless marriage to work. So long as the two of you are content to have each other, material wealth will never even be an issue.

Actually, Anime_Queen, it's closer to $87,000,000

Actually, that will still be impossible. The majority of the world's population earn nowhere near that sum their whole working life let alone to provide thattype of money to bring up one child. Besides, that would mean that the poorest countries would have the lowest population numbers and vice versa, which is not true. My parents were papuers for years and years but managed to keep and bring up all 6 of us just fine. Maybe because in the Qur'an it tells us (muslims) to not worry about the sustenance too much :

"And do not kill your children out of fear of poverty; We shall provide for them and for you. Truly, the killing of them is a great sin" (17:31) (i.e in abortion or otherwise)

It's good to see that there are still those in this world that do not practice premarital intercourse, Ryuin. Abstinence is so rare these days... Personally, I find the distinct lack of fidelity in our times apalling.

heh.. rephrase that to : abstinence in the US/Europe In all Islamic countries it's a rarity and a scandal if someone had sexual relations with another outside of marriage. Heck, we're not even near having *sexual* relations. Even hugging/kissing isn't done before then ~__^ *is abstaining from a lot at 21 years old*

erm.. I am sorry Mrs. G for hijacking your thread

Well Anime-Queen. Kids are still expensive. Whether my estimate or Wielder's estimate of the price of children is correct or not. Think about all the money you would sacrifice on your child's behalf, including unnecessary things such as, clothes (which changes sizes as they grow), toys, games, even the amount of electricity and water they use. I think is should go over $50,000,000 after a couple of years.

Ryuin ... unless the kids are going to have to be fed gold and crystal, and clothed in platinum and rubies then even 2% of that amount is not needed. The average family in the UK earns around 20 000 pounds a year. Multiply that by 20 (years) ( and most western families stop supporting their children as soon as they get old enough to leave) and you'll get 400 000 pounds. Over the course of 20 years of living (the kids and parents altogether) it still mounts to nOWHERE near that blasphemous amount O.o;;;;