Do you not get along with your family? Do you not like your family?

I always try to get along with everybody in my family no matter what because I hate hostility and anger. I'm not a hostile person or angry person AT ALL. One thing I really like doing is just making other people happy, cause that brings me joy to know that I have done good. I never like hurting people. Well, it seems that everyone in my immediate family is the exact opposite. They don't like making others happy, and they don't really care about anyone but themselves. They're angry and hostile people too. It seems like I was adopted or something, cause I'm very different from them. I was born with some conditions like heart problems and clubbed feet, so maybe my attitude is different from them too? Probably not, but it seems crazy how different we are.
My mom must think she is a princess or something, because everything always has to be her way, and she always has to be right, and thinks everything she says is the right thing to do. My dad is somewhat the same, but angrier. My older brother is a pouter and likes to start fights. He always calls me names in front of my friends to show off or something. He flips ♥♥♥♥ once in a while, and it's for very irrational reasons to flip ♥♥♥♥. I had to call the cops because it was so bad. He also hits me just cause he's angry, not even if I had anything to do with it. My oldest brother is a heroin addict, and steals things. I think he'd be different if he wasn't always on drugs, but he is hard to deal with right now.
All of this makes me just depressed. I usually don't shout back or anything, cause I don't like it. It's not in my nature. I believe I am the only civil person in the house.

So, I want to ask you:

Do you like your family? Why?
Do you get along with your family? Why?
Do you think it is wrong for you to not like your family? Why?

It's far too long a story for me to get into at any in-depth, but my personal situation is that I have differences that are frustrating to get over despite the fact that I love my family. I recognize and accept that they love me and try to do their best for me, but I also believe they are misguided on many levels and have done things to hurt me in the name of "knowing what's best for you", something that they still to this day feel no guilt about and are indignant that I would consider otherwise. I used to consider these differences irreconcilable, but a lot of people with even worse parents have made me reconsider just how "irreconcilable" my differences with my parents are. Nevertheless, I still try not to talk with my father if possible. I still love him and am concerned for him; I just do not find his company comfortable or welcome, although I'm trying to get over it.

I don't think it's "wrong" to not like your family. "Family" is not a carte blanche for them to act like jerks. You will have differences with members of your family - because such is life - and accommodating for those differences are important, but that does not mean simply accepting that your family are jerks and - more importantly - right.

My family relationship isn't very interesting. I get on pretty well with everyone in my immediate/extended family. I mean, some of them are annoying, and I wouldn't hang around with them if they were kids at my school, but they're good enough goddamnit!

Tyler, perhaps your... I can't think of a way to describe them without being construed as crude, but your heart and feet... have taught you to see the best in people, because you expect them to do the same for you?

I love my family because theyre all just like me! Theyre fun, funny, adventurous haha, always a good time in my house. My friends love them too!!!

Although we certainly argue once in a while, my family and I get along fine. My parents and I agree on most political and social issues, and both of them are very grounded and rational. I guess I'm pretty fortunate that we don't have a bad relationship.

I get along amazingly with my parents. Theres no real problem there at all. My mum and i are super close. Im pretty close with dad too.

My siblings...not so much. My sister is more or less estranged from the entire family so yeah...we dont speak. (long story...)
My brother and I get along...sometimes. Hes really insufferable in general. Just not a very pleasant man. So naturally we just dont click well. Hes a bit of a know-it-all and thinks hes right all the time. He also is very judgmental and just an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. (to other people as well.) I get along with his wife but only just. Shes a bit annoying. But she is a good person. My niece is more of a mini-me. You wouldnt know my brother made her cuz she looks so much like me and even acts like i did at that age. lol!!!

Cousins and Aunts and Uncles...On mum's side, i get along of with most of them. They are borderline bat♥♥♥♥ insane, but they are mostly good people lol! My nutty gramma is the best.

Dad's side? LOOOOOL not so much. Ever since my grandfather died, things have been NASTY with my grandmother. I dare not get to it. Lets just say shes on everybody's ♥♥♥♥ list. My cousin there, i just dont really talk to. I got no beef with him at all. We just were never really close. His father is a dick. lololol. Something about my dad's side breeding entitled jackasses...haha! My great uncle is still around and i got no quarter with him either. Its just he lives really far away.

Do you like your family? Why?
Eh, I guess so. I certainly do love them all, but I'm not sure if I like everyone. My brother is annoying, but he's much better than before when he used to attack me.

Do you get along with your family? Why?
Mostly, yes. Although my crappy grades cause my parents to get mad. I don't hold it against them though, I know it's only because they want me to do well in life. We disagree on political issues sometimes, but no one in my immediate family gets super emotional over that stuff so it's all good.

Do you think it is wrong for you to not like your family? Why?
Absolutely not. Why should you be expected to like them just because you happen to be related? It's not like you can help what you're born into. You should like them if they're likable. If they're not, then they're just not. Just happening to be a relative is no reason to like or even love someone.

I don't really get along with my family. Mind, my family is HUGE - I have eight brothers and two sisters, all of which have children, and my mom comes from a family of 7 other siblings. I have a lot of family members. But I don't particularly get along with them.

This is mostly because I don't share the majority of their views. Most of my family are conservative Christians. I'm a liberal athest lesbian. Our views on religion, politics, and such are vastly different, as a whole. I don't feel connected to any of my family. I love them, but I don't really like them, nor do I really feel like I'm part of the family. There are certain members that I can tolerate, such as my brothers Randy and Dairl, and my cousin Corey, but all in all I don't really like associating with the others. I honestly don't have a very high opinion of most of my family. It's not that I don't love them, because I do, I just don't think very highly of most of them. My aunt is a racist bigot, my dad is a homophobic misogynist, etc.

I don't think it's wrong to dislike your family. You are an individual. Your family members are individuals. Just because you're family doesn't mean you're obligated to like any of them, by the sole reason that they're related to you.

I get along with my family for the most part. My younger brother and I have kind of an odd relationship considering we are torn between wanting to punch each others face in and helping each other out. We used to have a lot worse relationship when we were kids, but after I went away to college it started to get better. I mean we still fight and bicker, but basically we would tell each other things we would never tell our parents. (Like my brother comes to me for woman troubles and not my parents.) We also have a system kind of going on where we have enough stuff on each other for blackmail to keep each other out of trouble. (For example one time I bent my brother's glasses and gave him a bloody lip after he knocked me out; we were pillow fighting.)

I get along OK with my extended family considering we never see them. I honestly prefer my mother's side to my father's. (Me and my brother affectionately refer to our younger cousins on my father's side as "the little demons" since whenever they are over/we are over there they demand us to amuse them. Which involves rough housing at some shape in time. It isn't uncommon for somebody to get hurt; usually its me or my brother.)

And I don't know about if it is wrong to not like your family; people have differing ideals and personalities and sometimes because they are your family it makes it worse. I mean I'm always sad when families are torn apart because I'm taught that families should stick together, but I am well aware these things happen for one reason or another and can be all together unavoidable.

Yes.. and no. I'll break it up a bit family member to family member. Please note: I still live at home :p

My father: My Dad is pretty great. Typically, he leaves me to my business and when I need to do something around the house, he asks unlike my mother, but I'll get to her later. He has a great sense of humor, finding most of what I watch funny. (American Dad, Family Guy, Jeff Dunham..) He also doesn't mind that I occasionally go to a local bar to see concerts. He's also okay with the fact I listen to some songs with mild language. He has moments where he's a butt.. but it's mostly when my mother is involved.

My mother: My mom is, to be blunt, a ♥♥♥♥♥. We're a Christian family, but she is kinda crazy with being "good". She would have a heart attack if she knew I went to a local bar for concerts, because she probably thinks I can't use common sense and not get arrested. She gets mad at the stupidest crap, such as someone showing minor irritation, even if she's being angry herself. She's also a hypocrite. Once, I was watching a show in the living room, and the character swore (either "hell", "damn", or "ass") and she made me turn it. But I walked in moments later and her show swore a few times (a bit worse than mine) and she didn't have a problem at all. I said something about the language, but she got mad and said she was an adult... when I was ♥♥♥♥ing 17. She also orders me around.. I don't mind doing dishes at my house, but she acts like it's WAY more important than whatever I'm currently doing and won't shut up until I do it; unlike my father who is patient about it. She also thinks I shouldn't walk to the mall, because it's too far... it's only 2 miles.. an hour walk at most. I think it's because she couldn't walk that far herself. She also talks to my Dad about me... especially when she knows I'm within earshot. But... enough about her before I start full-on ranting.

Brother: He used to be the annoying "older twin" type, but since we turned 17, he's matured. He used to be addicted to marijuana and smoked alot. He has since kicked the marijuana habit, and gives me advice from time to time. He's a great guy.

My sister: Some of you know Lily. We adopted her a couple years back and she's just an amazing kid. She's one reason I haven't tried to leave home yet. Sure, we have arguments, but who doesn't? Overall, I'm glad I have her.

I actually get along very well with the members of my family. There are a few cousins that don't count in this, but families have been placed in your life for good. You won't have them forever, and so why not make the moments count.

A lot of people act as if they have no anger or hostility towards their family members, saying that their family hates them specificly. I don't think it's all their fault when fights happen, and people get blamed, but there most likely is somthing that you do that ticks them off. Just ask them.

You won't have them all your life, and believe me, you'll soon want them back. So unless your family is physically or verbally abusive, then I don't think it's right to hate your family. You can get annoyed or sick of them but not HATE.

Originally Posted by Yu Arisato

Yes.. and no. I'll break it up a bit family member to family member. Please note: I still live at home :p

My father: My Dad is pretty great. Typically, he leaves me to my business and when I need to do something around the house, he asks unlike my mother, but I'll get to her later. He has a great sense of humor, finding most of what I watch funny. (American Dad, Family Guy, Jeff Dunham..) He also doesn't mind that I occasionally go to a local bar to see concerts. He's also okay with the fact I listen to some songs with mild language. He has moments where he's a butt.. but it's mostly when my mother is involved.

My mother: My mom is, to be blunt, a ♥♥♥♥♥. We're a Christian family, but she is kinda crazy with being "good". She would have a heart attack if she knew I went to a local bar for concerts, because she probably thinks I can't use common sense and not get arrested. She gets mad at the stupidest crap, such as someone showing minor irritation, even if she's being angry herself. She's also a hypocrite. Once, I was watching a show in the living room, and the character swore (either "hell", "damn", or "ass") and she made me turn it. But I walked in moments later and her show swore a few times (a bit worse than mine) and she didn't have a problem at all. I said something about the language, but she got mad and said she was an adult... when I was ♥♥♥♥ing 17. She also orders me around.. I don't mind doing dishes at my house, but she acts like it's WAY more important than whatever I'm currently doing and won't shut up until I do it; unlike my father who is patient about it. She also thinks I shouldn't walk to the mall, because it's too far... it's only 2 miles.. an hour walk at most. I think it's because she couldn't walk that far herself. She also talks to my Dad about me... especially when she knows I'm within earshot. But... enough about her before I start full-on ranting.

Brother: He used to be the annoying "older twin" type, but since we turned 17, he's matured. He used to be addicted to marijuana and smoked alot. He has since kicked the marijuana habit, and gives me advice from time to time. He's a great guy.

My sister: Some of you know Lily. We adopted her a couple years back and she's just an amazing kid. She's one reason I haven't tried to leave home yet. Sure, we have arguments, but who doesn't? Overall, I'm glad I have her.

Hmm... I didn't know Lily was adopted.

Anyways, your family seems a lot like my best friend Brenton's family. They are very hardcore Christians too, and he's not allowed to do much either. For example, I was staying the night at his grandma's house last night (he lives there during the Summer), and we were watching American Dad for a few minutes. His grandma made us turn the channel, even though we are both 17 and it's a TV14 show. I think we're old enough to make these decisions. Another example is that he has to hide his M rated games, even though he's old enough to purchase them. He's also not allowed to listen to a lot of music. It's mostly Christian music. Kinda sucks cause he doesn't want to really listen to that.

I mean, his family is really nice, but when he is not allowed to view or hear things that he should be able to, it's rediculous! He seems depressed about it, and I don't think I blame him. I mean, he has had to put up with this all his life.

---------- Post added at 11:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:57 PM ----------

Originally Posted by HylianHeroine

I actually get along very well with the members of my family. There are a few cousins that don't count in this, but families have been placed in your life for good. You won't have them forever, and so why not make the moments count.

A lot of people act as if they have no anger or hostility towards their family members, saying that their family hates them specificly. I don't think it's all their fault when fights happen, and people get blamed, but there most likely is somthing that you do that ticks them off. Just ask them.

You won't have them all your life, and believe me, you'll soon want them back. So unless your family is physically or verbally abusive, then I don't think it's right to hate your family. You can get annoyed or sick of them but not HATE.

I disagree. Like everyone was saying, they're just people you happen to be related to. If you hate them, you hate them. I don't think I really hate my family, but nonetheless, I feel that way.

@Tyler

I can sympathise.. Hell, for a while, I wasn't allowed to watch Dragonball Z,, just because my mother saw a little blood. I had to sneak watching it until I was 16. Same with Yugioh, except without blood. They even banned Digimon because the kids went through computers.

That's crazy. I feel bad for you and my friend.

A few bumps here and there, but otherwise I get along fine with both my Mom's and Dad's sides of my family. My immediate family are very close to each other and we're almost always spending time with each other. There's only really two main problems with my family. The first was my brother and sister just didn't get along for the longest time until recently. It's a long, complicated, and unfortunate story. In short, it was rough, but both side's views are completely understandable. The other is that my aunt and uncle have been complicated to everyone lately, and I don't really understand why. Otherwise, everyone else gets along great with one another. If anyone can't say the same or better for theirs, I feel sorry for them. It's a terrible bond to miss out on.

I remember I went to a family reunion of a girl I was dating at the time. She didn't really talk to anyone except two cousins. It didn't feel like a reunion, but a group of strangers. To me, that's just one of the saddest things in the world.

I don't like them, I don't really get along with them, and I think it's fine to dislike your family.

I'll start with the bad:

Dad - Gigantic ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I actually liked him up until I was maybe... thirteen years old? He and my mother lived together until I was about 4, then for a few years I'd see him on the weekends, and afterwards it'd be only during the summer for a little bit. Then I moved down to Florida to live with him, his wife (my step-mom) and my grandfather. My main problem is that he's just about the exact opposite of the kind of people who I want in my life. All he does is go to work (security guard), then come home and eat and play MMORPGs all day. Occasionally he goes out to play a tabletop RPG with a few people.

but, he doesn't really have any friends. There are people he hangs out with, sure, but I'm fairly certain they don't care much for him. He's a very bitter and angry person, constantly complaining about his job, and people, and getting angry at the video games he plays. I used to be more like him, but thankfully I've changed and I'm much more of a social and happy person. He says misogynist things often and it pisses me off. He's never been all that supportive of me, and would ground me when my progress reports for school had D's in them (despite me explaining how it's because we only had one or two grades, by the time the report card came around they were either A's or B's). After high school I've been able to ignore him more (despite living in the same house), although he freaked out a few months after I mentioned I might want to drop out of college and attributed to all the drugs and partying I do (which is funny because at that point I hadn't been to a party for like a year and a half). Not to mention he failed to file his taxes this year so I can't apply for financial aid this year.

Overall, he's an angry, sheltered, selfish person whom I don't have any interest in keeping in my life once I'm graduated from college and living on my own.

Grandpa is an odd case, I feel more like I'm the adult and he's the child in our relationship. I think he's growing senile, he constantly forgets things and occasionally needs guidance. I don't think he's kept up with technology well, so he's often confused about technology and the world in general. He's pretty old-fashioned, and he's really into sports, so we don't have much common ground. Unlike my Dad, I think I love him a bit. He might be kind of weird and annoying at times, but he's a good person. His only problem is that he is a huge workaholic, and I think he just can't ever relax and be calm. He's always gotta be doing something.

Love my mom. She isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she's ALWAYS been supportive of me and my sister. She's done a lot for me, despite not having a lot of money or knowledge. I haven't seen her in over five years, unfortunately.

My sister I didn't get along with much when we lived together, we would argue and fight a lot. She'd always win because she's six years older than me. I don't talk to her much these days, but we get along fine now. I'm definitely stronger and smarter than her, so she's really lost any advantage she might've had .

As for the rest of the family... I either like them or I'm neutral towards them. My uncle Louie is an awesome dude and a great chef, and he's hilarious. Then there's my Uncle Dominic and Aunt Debbie, both of them are pretty nice people. My other grandmother (my mom's mom, my dad's mom passed away 7 years ago), is really sweet too. I've got a bunch of other aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., but I haven't seen them since I was twelve, or since I was a toddler, so I don't have an opinion on them.



As far as politics and religion go, my family has never tried to influence my beliefs. My grandpa is a Christian, I'm 99% sure, but he doesn't have crosses or anything, he doesn't go to church. All I really know about my dad is that he believes in God, but he isn't Christian. My mom and sister are both Protestant, last I checked. The rest of the family is most likely Christian, maybe one or two atheists hiding out.

Politically, I'm not sure. My grandpa's view is basically "screw everyone, they're with the corporations." I, uh... think he supports gay marriage, or just doesn't care either way. Dunno about anything else. My dad is like my grandpa with the whole, screw everyone thing, but I know for a fact he's a bit liberal when it comes to social issues. I'm not sure what my sister and my mother are, but they support gay marriage. I don't really talk politics with my family, so I have no idea what they believe.



Anyway, yeah, that's me. Family is just whoever the lottery known as fate hooked you up with. Love 'em or hate 'em, just try to make due.