Slut shaming

No one is saying that dressing in a respectable manner will stop all rape and keep all scumbags at bay. It just a precaution that will lower the odds of bad things happening to you. I'm well aware that trampy girls are not the only victims of rape, but being responsible is a proactive step to avoid situations that may result in rape. It's common sense, really.

Originally Posted by shadow of Majora

A person should never be judged by the way they dress. Nudists don't go nude for attention. Ive met girls raised in uptight religious families that sleep around a lot and dress in "modest" fashion. You say that a girl only wears loose fitting clothes to get attention and you say that thats wrong but what about men who wear tiny shirts to show off their muscles? They could attract rapists who are both men and women. But thats not wrong at all is it? The moral of the story is: don't judge a book by its cover and be on your guard at all times. You think dressing modestly will stop people from getting raped and/or having sex? It wont.

"This is how it should be."

I get it, but wake up and understand that we live in a world where people are judged on what they wear and how they act. Certain lifestyle and fashion trends attract slimey people. If that's the lifestyle you choose to live, then fine, but we live in a world where the most cautious people can have horrible stuff done to them. Living a risky life only increases your chances of bad things.


This isn't black and white, guys. Most sexual assaults are carried out by family members--those are situations where no amount of precautions can protect you. However, there are situations where a trampy girl goes to a party, teases guys and even preforms sexual acts for them, then she passes out from getting too drunk, and she is shocked when she wakes up and her butt is sore.

I have much more sympathy for the person who is stuck living with a family member who molests them than I do some loose girl who constantly puts herself in harm's way.

I honestly believe that a man or woman who has many sexual partners is a slut. I think it is the choice of a weak or inferior person who can't control their animal urges and don't see the beauty of having sex with someone you love.

Originally Posted by TheGman335

I honestly believe that a man or woman who has many sexual partners is a slut. I think it is the choice of a weak or inferior person who can't control their animal urges and don't see the beauty of having sex with someone you love.

who are you to judge? Sex is perfectly natural and is a necessity of life. You have animistic urges to eat and drink but it is not wrong to indulge in such activities, even if you do not love the food. and who are you to say that all of these people who sleep around don't love the people they have sex with? Who are you to say that one can not love many people and have many sexual partners? Beauty is within the eye of the beholds and one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Originally Posted by TheGman335

I honestly believe that a man or woman who has many sexual partners is a slut. I think it is the choice of a weak or inferior person who can't control their animal urges and don't see the beauty of having sex with someone you love.

I think this is a perfectly acceptable opinion if you truly view a male slut just as bad as a female slut.

It rarely is though. Men are normally respected for high amounts of sexual partners, women are shamed for it.

Originally Posted by Nite and Deigh

I think this is a perfectly acceptable opinion if you truly view a male slut just as bad as a female slut.

It rarely is though. Men are normally respected for high amounts of sexual partners, women are shamed for it.

I don't respect men for high amounts of sexual partners. One of my friends from high school visited from college recently and was bragging about how many girls he had slept with. He has definitely gone down a few notches in my book.

Originally Posted by Nite and Deigh

I think this is a perfectly acceptable opinion if you truly view a male slut just as bad as a female slut.

It rarely is though. Men are normally respected for high amounts of sexual partners, women are shamed for it.

I thought they were labeled as chauvinistic pigs.

Originally Posted by TheGman335

I don't respect men for high amounts of sexual partners. One of my friends from high school visited from college recently and was bragging about how many girls he had slept with. He has definitely gone down a few notches in my book.

I think the point was that men are more likely to brag about multiple female sex partners than females are about multiple male sex partners.

Originally Posted by Sollux

I thought they were labeled as chauvinistic pigs.

They sometimes are by a few people, but even being a chauvinist pig calls for a lot more respect then whore.

Why do some people refer to women as "females" but still call men "men"? It really annoys me.

And yes, although many people may disapprove of men sleeping around it's still seems to be considered less shameful for a man to be promiscuous than it is for women. Being referred to as a stud or player or even a pimp is basically a compliment for a man and there are few insulting words for them. On the other hand, there are so many words for a promiscuous woman and nearly all of them are insults.

Originally Posted by article posted earlier

A woman goes out to a club wearing stilettos and a miniskirt with no underwear.

She gets pretty drunk and stumbles home in the wrong direction.

She ends up lost in a bad neighborhood. She gets raped.

Is she to blame in some way? Was this her fault? Was she asking for it?

No, no, and no.

However, had she taken some precautions and not made a long list of bad decisions, she might have had a better evening. It's like I, and several others have said, we live in a world where you should probably expect the worst in a lot of situations. I'm not saying that's fair or okay, because it isn't. It ♥♥♥♥ing sucks.

I'm merely asking women (and men, for that matter) to be careful.

I like how you all are talking about how victims can prevent rape rather than teaching the perpetrators not to rape. No one is denying that by dressing as a sexless blob and never going outside can probably keep you safe. But is that REALLY the thing you wanna say to a person who has been a victim? And when you make excuses for rapists, you prevent them from actually being prosecuted because the victim doesn't feel like reporting it because (s)he feels like it's his/her fault.

THIS is the message we should be sending:


Not this:

@AJ

Nah dawg, listen.

Rapists are bad. There's literally no excuse for what they do to people and should be punished for what they've done.

But you're ignoring a sad truth here. Rape is going to happen, no matter how many advertisements and messages we send. To deny that is naive.

So why not take precautions to keep yourself safe? That's literally all I'm saying here.

I'm just going to go out and say it.

Don’t go out and get drunk, you could be raped. Don’t have sex with someone because someone they know could rape you. Don’t be young because youth attracts rapists. Don’t be a child, child abuse is quite common. Don’t be old and alone since you won’t be able to fight the rapist. Don’t live in elderly homes, you may be asking for trouble. Don’t be single; rapists think single girls are sluts and deserve rape. Don’t be married, haven’t you heard of marital rape? Don’t go jogging, you can be raped. Don’t use public toilets, rapists are lurking. Don’t be unconscious or dying; or you’ll get yourself raped. Injured. Raped. Disabled. Raped. Alone. Raped. Asking for lifts. You guessed it.

Don’t even bathe naked; you could get raped. Don’t wear skimpy clothes, dunno when somebody watching you may get hormonal. Don’t wear baggy clothing, gowns or burkhas either, it plays on the rapist’s imagination. Don’t have a father, brother, uncle or grandfather. You could get raped by them. Don’t even think of having a step-father. So raped. Don’t be ugly, you could deserve rape. Don’t be beautiful, you will be too tempting. Don’t flirt, this can get you raped. Don’t be rude to men — they may want revenge. Don’t take public transport. Raped. Don’t drive your own car, what if someone hid in the back seat, you could get raped. Don’t sell sex or anything close to it. Raped, raped, raped!

Don’t be mistaken for someone who might sell sex. Obviously, you would get raped. Don’t be a nurse, waitress, teacher, police woman, or hairdresser. They can get raped, even by colleagues. Don’t dance, you could be raped. Don’t relax, it may look like you want it. Don’t be stupid, don’t be naive, you’ll deserve what comes to you. Don’t be adventurous, only stupid women do that and get raped. Don’t be silent, how will anyone know you didn’t want rape. Don’t be scared, weakness arouses rapists. Don’t trust, don’t be awed, don’t be flattered — that could get you raped.

So there’s only one way you can avoid being raped. Simply don’t exist!

No matter how many precautions somebody takes, if a rapist wants to rape, they are going to do it no matter how 'correct' you are acting.

Originally Posted by Crash Man

No matter how many precautions somebody takes, if a rapist wants to rape, they are going to do it no matter how 'correct' you are acting.

And no matter how many times you tell a rapist that wants to rape that rape is wrong they're still going to rape.

So what's the point at all?

(I realize your post was largely satirical, but you still brought up a good point at the end there)

Originally Posted by Berry Punch

And no matter how many times you tell a rapist that wants to rape that rape is wrong they're still going to rape.

So what's the point at all?

Because more often than not, even when they acknowledge that rape is wrong, they won't actually believe that what they have done counts as rape. This thread alone has been a great example of how many misconceptions there are about it - my impression thus far is that many here seem to believe that rape only counts as rape so long as it is accompanied by physical violence (or the spoken threat of it). Numerous surveys seem to back this up, as often people will actually anonymously admit to having raped someone else - but only if the word "rape" isn't mentioned.

If only rape prevention strategies would focus more on addressing the rape-supportive attitudes of society at large, as opposed to telling potential victims to limit their own freedoms to keep themselves safe, it would go a long way towards eliminating this misconception.

Originally Posted by Berry Punch

And no matter how many times you tell a rapist that wants to rape that rape is wrong they're still going to rape.

So what's the point at all?

(I realize your post was largely satirical, but you still brought up a good point at the end there)

The point of it is that by doing this, the first question a police officer or an attorney asks a rape victim won't be "What were you wearing? How much did you have to drink? Did you flirt with him? How many other people have you slept with? Have you slept with him before?"

Originally Posted by Crash Man

No matter how many precautions somebody takes, if a rapist wants to rape, they are going to do it no matter how 'correct' you are acting.

Read my post. While this may be true, people can obviously take proactive steps to avoid being a target. Loose girls are easier targets, especially when they are walking places with bad people.

Why are people denying that a woman can take precautions?

It's not that people are denying that you should take precautions, it's that the message of "take precautions" is the only message that people receive in regards to rape. It's similar to how in high school, everyone tells you to "ignore the bullies and they'll just go away" instead of telling people not to bully each other.

Yes, it is a better idea for women to take precautions. But if she doesn't and is raped then she should not be blamed for it, the rapist is the one who should be blamed. I'm sick of reading articles where a woman is raped and people write comments blaming her for it because of some small mistake she made. It's like with that case of Lara Logan. EVERY SINGLE ♥♥♥♥ING TIME I read an article on it there's always several people going "Oh she was stupid to go to Egypt, blah blah blah." It's dangerous for men in Egypt too, it's dangerous for EVERYONE but people still need to go there to report. If one of the men working as a journalist had been dragged off and beaten up, would they have blamed him for going to Egypt? Probably not nearly as much.

Originally Posted by Apple Jack

It's not that people are denying that you should take precautions, it's that the message of "take precautions" is the only message that people receive in regards to rape. It's similar to how in high school, everyone tells you to "ignore the bullies and they'll just go away" instead of telling people not to bully each other.

Part of this may have to do with some of my cynicism, but if we were to use the bully analogy, we'd have to understand that - short of the reconstruction of human social mentality and groupthink, which would probably require something akin to transhumanism or close to - bullying won't disappear. Ever. Yes, we should discourage people not to bully, but - at the same time - we should also recognize the truth that, despite the fact that it's wrong, bullying is not going to stop no matter how much we try to eliminate it, and it is not inadvisable to teach potential victims ways to take precautions.

In other words, should we be tackling the source of the problem? Yes; definitely, infinitely yes. But should we delude ourselves into thinking the problem will just simply go away? Probably not. Idealism is great, but victims aren't going to be comforted by lofty ideals. There has to be a sense of practicality, even if that pill's a bit bitter.