Female-on-Male Rape

Someone recently posted an image on Facebook that was a series of posters that said "Rape: Men Can Stop It"...

I found this kind of irresponsible. It assumes that men are the only ones who ever rape people, and puts the onus for stopping rape entirely on men. I understand that there is a higher statistical percentage of rape perpetrated by men, but that doesn't mean that women never rape men, because they do. Further, men can incur genital injuries (such as "broken penis") from being raped by women. So it's not as if rape can't harm them or it can only feel good for men.

It's very sad the attitude that people take towards female-on-male rape. Most men who have been raped by women are far too ashamed to come forward because it is looked at as such a joke, and they don't want to be seen as "the sissy who complained because a woman wanted to have sex with him". They are also labeled as "attention-seekers". It's incredibly hard for a man to get anyone to believe that he was raped by a woman.

After some googling, I came across a Yahoo! Answers page where the poster asked if men can be raped by women. One person repied "Yah I raped my boyfriend last night lol"... That is a problem.

Don't get me wrong, compared to most people I have a very feminist view point, but I believe in equality of genders, not pretending that women are perfect.

Originally Posted by jellotime91

Someone recently posted an image on Facebook that was a series of posters that said "Rape: Men Can Stop It"...

I found this kind of irresponsible. It assumes that men are the only ones who ever rape people, and puts the onus for stopping rape entirely on men. I understand that there is a higher statistical percentage of rape perpetrated by men, but that doesn't mean that women never rape men, because they do. Further, men can incur genital injuries (such as "broken penis") from being raped by women. So it's not as if rape can't harm them or it can only feel good for men.

It's very sad the attitude that people take towards female-on-male rape. Most men who have been raped by women are far too ashamed to come forward because it is looked at as such a joke, and they don't want to be seen as "the sissy who complained because a woman wanted to have sex with him". They are also labeled as "attention-seekers". It's incredibly hard for a man to get anyone to believe that he was raped by a woman.

After some googling, I came across a Yahoo! Answers page where the poster asked if men can be raped by women. One person repied "Yah I raped my boyfriend last night lol"... That is a problem.

Don't get me wrong, compared to most people I have a very feminist view point, but I believe in equality of genders, not pretending that women are perfect.

The problem of people fearing to report crime extends to lots of different things. Obviously we live in a male dominated culture (yes, bite me if you disagree) where being sexually assaulted and dominated by a woman is humiliating for the man who not only has to deal with the shame and discomfort of being raped, but also the societal pressures of losing his 'masculinity'.

But I don't accept that this is a non-feminist issue because it is. Any case of gender discrimination is a feminist issue because the feminist movement is designed to stop gender discrimination. I would personally attest that a lot of this problem stems from many male attitudes and so it is unfair to blame women and the feminist movement. Especially considering that nowhere in the feminist manifesto does it say 'let's rape men!'

But I don't accept that this is a non-feminist issue because it is. Any case of gender discrimination is a feminist issue because the feminist movement is designed to stop gender discrimination.

The Feminist movement is a movement for the improvement of the socioeconomic and political status of women. Just like the Black Rights Movement was/is a movement for the improvement of the human condition of black individuals.

I would personally attest that a lot of this problem stems from many male attitudes and so it is unfair to blame women and the feminist movement.

You would personally attest, however, your personal opinion is not a general survey and is not necessarily representative of the population.

Originally Posted by Raistlin

The Feminist movement is a movement for the improvement of the socioeconomic and political status of women. Just like the Black Rights Movement was/is a movement for the improvement of the human condition of black individuals.

Thank you for telling me, darling. The point is obtaining equality. Gender equality. Not female or black superiority. Gender and race equality.

You would personally attest, however, your personal opinion is not a general survey and is not necessarily representative of the population.

You could not have made a more obvious statement.

Originally Posted by Interestingdrug

Thank you for telling me, darling. The point is obtaining equality. Gender equality. Not female or black superiority. Gender and race equality.

*slow clap*

The feminist movement had relevance back when women were really disadvantaged. However, with modern laws the idea of a movement based solely on representing and improving the lot of one minority is outdated.

You could not have made a more obvious statement.

I was just curious as to why you would state your personal opinion as if it were representative of the truth.

Originally Posted by Interestingdrug

The problem of people fearing to report crime extends to lots of different things. Obviously we live in a male dominated culture (yes, bite me if you disagree)

Yes, because that is how you learn and grow as a person; take a stance and just say "bite me" to anyone who disagrees. Lol.

Anyway, I absolutely agree that it is a huge problem. And not even just female-on-male rape, men being raped in general. I think it is similar to the problem of men being abused - many of the societal issues are the exact same.

Originally Posted by Raistlin

The feminist movement had relevance back when women were really disadvantaged. However, with modern laws the idea of a movement based solely on representing and improving the lot of one minority is outdated.

Vast majority of domestic abuse
Salary disputes
Destructive and objectifying media portrayal
Less females in high positions
More females unemployed
Not much control over their own bodies
Sexist abuse frequently
Sexual abuse frequently.

Top of my head, darling.

I was just curious as to why you would state your personal opinion as if it were representative of the truth.

I wrote the word 'personally' to communicate that point, which you then highlighted. Well done, though.

The myth that women can't rape men needs to be properly addressed, and that why groups also exist that aim to support male rape victims, if you feel strongly about the issue perhaps you should join or set up one.

But the issue of male rapists also needs to be addressed . Sexist ideals that encourage male dominance in sexual consent exist more often and so slogans like this try to address males who may be persuaded by these ideals. Though if a group wanted to extend their message to attempt to stop all rape entirely it would be necessary to address all rapists in such slogans including female ones.

I would imagine the people writing the slogans are very much against rape and are not the same people joking about women raping men. I would imagine many of these groups would have be conceived with connections to rape victims who felt the person who raped them could have stopped it, and if the person who raped them was a man, it's not hard to understand why they would say "men can stop it".

Originally Posted by Interestingdrug

Vast majority of domestic abuse - Source, please.
Salary disputes - Granted I guess.
Destructive and objectifying media portrayal - Lol, ditto for men buddy.
Less females in high positions - Reasons for that?
More females unemployed - Reasons for that?
Not much control over their own bodies - ...What?
Sexist abuse frequently - Ditto for men
Sexual abuse frequently. - Elaborate?

Top of my head, darling.

Look.

45% women and 26% men had experienced at least one incident of
inter-personal violence in their lifetimes. (Walby and Allen, 2004) ) –
however when there were more than 4 incidents (i.e. ongoing domestic or
sexual abuse) 89% of victims were women.

Women are more likely than men to have experienced all types of intimate
violence (partner abuse, family abuse, sexual assault and stalking) since
the ages of 16. And nearly half the woman who had experienced intimate
violence of any kind, were likely to have been victims of more than one
kind of intimate abuse.

Don't insinuate that women can't work because they are inadequate. There are lots of reasons which I'm not exploring in immense detail because I can't be bothered, but sexism in the workplace is a frequently referenced issue.

Restrictions on abortion.

Originally Posted by Interestingdrug

Look.

Everytime I look it up it says the same thing: 40% of all domestic abuse? Women to men.

Don't insinuate that women can't work because they are inadequate. There are lots of reasons which I'm not exploring in immense detail because I can't be bothered, but sexism in the workplace is a frequently referenced issue.

I wasn't.

Restrictions on abortion.

isn't abortion legal in every state?

Well, no that's a lie. Look at the link I gave you.

Just making sure.

Some wish to change that fact.

I'm not going to run circles with you, darlings. Both you and Raisty-baby keep chipping away and getting nowhere like men with erectile dysfunctions.

Half of all women and a third of all men are some of the general stats I've seen in that report. The fact that it is connected to a site called "womensaid" it gives me doubts that all statistics are out. ANd of course the fact that in our male dominated society, men that are abused are a lot less likely to come out about it. Hell when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship I was against people knowing because of pride and the reaction that society has led me to believe I would recieve.

Also in the quoted fact, where 89% were women when it was more than four incidents, that isn't as big a stat as it pushes to be. Its 89 percent of a fraction of 45 percent of women, and eleven percent of a fraction of the 26 percent of men. You aren't running in circles with them, you just seem to fear your opinions loss in validity so you feel oother opinions should be cast away in validity and try to stab at what you believe wou;d be a male tenderspot.

I'm sorry but what on Earth are you talking about?

I emailed the campaign to ask about why female-on-male rape was ignored and a very polite woman responded promptly.

This was her response:

"Hi Sam,

Thank you for sharing your opinion. We at MCSR do not deny that sexual violence affects individuals from all backgrounds. However, our organization begun as an attempt to mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men's violence against women. In 1997, the founders of Men Can Stop Rape pioneered a different way of addressing the epidemic of violence against women. Though the majority of violent acts against women are committed by men, the vast majority of prevention efforts are risk-reduction and self-defense tactics directed at women. The founders wanted to shift the responsibility of deterring harm away from women by promoting healthy, nonviolent masculinity. Their vision offered a plan for prevention that outlines positive, proactive solutions to engaging men as allies, inspiring them to feel motivated and capable to end men's violence against women.

More than a decade later, Men Can Stop Rape continues to mentor male youth and successfully mobilize them to prevent men's violence against women and other men; inspire young men to create their own positive definitions of masculinity, manhood, and strength; develop healthy relationships with others; embrace the concept of personal responsibility; work in partnership with female peers; and do their part to end all violence and build safe communities. Men Can Stop Rape has grown tremendously in capacity and scope - inspiring a new generation of leaders for change across the country. The young men come to understand the complex ways that stereotypical notions of race, gender, and sexual orientation can restrict definitions of masculinity, and how creating broader, more equitable definitions benefit both themselves and other women and girls - this includes acknowledging that intimate partner violence occurs in all forms.

I hope this helps your issue with our cause - and please know that we are also saddened and concerned by sexual violence against any individual. Our current poster campaign is specifically directed at young men in college. We have held previous poster campaigns that depicted more diverse scenarios but have discontinued it only recently to make way for our new Bystander Intervention campaign. Please know that we also incorporate the issues you brought up into trainings and other more intensive curricula that we offer - as well by offering a WISE (Women Inspiring Strength and Empowerment) Club, which is the young women's version of the MOST club we offer to young men.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have further questions."

Definitely cleared up the issue for me.

I still think that there are some major problems with society's attitude towards the sexual abuse of men, but it seems that nobody's disagreeing with that.

I was using your stats and facts, to say that the facts are not really truly fully accurate. And that men aren't treated fairly. Because of how our society is men are seen as weak if they become dominated. Rape and abuse are shameful for men so they won't be known and cases will go away and those people will live in fear and shame their entire lives and not beable to let it out. Because they are a man, a woman shouldn't be able to abuse them. Is that easier for you to understand, I do have communication issues so I understand messing up some before.

While this is (mostly) valid, it's worth noting that the vast, vast, vast majority of rapes are male-on-female, not vice-versa. In fact, I would not be surprised if male-male rape ended up being more common than female-male (mostly due to rape generally being about status, not sex, and humans having a very strong tendency to see the one doing the penetrating as dominant).

If all men stopped raping today then rape would almost completely vanish.

So, while I do see your point it's worth keeping context in mind. While the wording was very poor, noting that rape is something humans have control over and can stop is not a bad thing.

Originally Posted by Interestingdrug

Vast majority of domestic abuse

A recent study by Harvard Medical School conducted a survey of 11,000 men and women and found that 50% of the violence was reciprocal. Both men and women also took repsonsibility for being equally violent in the heat of passion.



The Harvard study found that when violence was one-sided, meaning unprovoked, both men and the women themselves who took the study said 70% of the time it was the women who committed violence against the men.

Harvard Says 70% 0f Domestic Violence is Committed By Women Against Men

Salary disputes

In “Why Men Earn More,” Warren Farrell, Ph.D. examined 25 career/life choices men and women make (hours, commute times, etc.) that lead to men earning more and women having more balanced lives, and that showed how men in surveys prioritize money while women prioritize flexibility, shorter hours, shorter commutes, less physical risk and other factors conducive to their choice to be primary parents, an option men still largely don’t have. That is why never-married childless women out-earn their male counterparts, and female corporate directors now out-earn their male counterparts.

Women simply have more options than men to be primary parents , and many of them exercise that option rather than work long, stressful hours. That is why 57% of female graduates of Stanford and Harvard left the workforce within 15 years of entry into the workforce.

This is an option few men have (try being a single male and telling women on the first date that you want to stay home). The latest research shows women still seek men who earn more than they do.

Blaming men for women’s choices is unfair. In fact research shows most men have no problem with their wives out-earning them.

Research also shows most working dads would quit or take a pay cut to spend more time with kids if their spouses could support the family.

Suppose you're an employer doing the hiring. If a woman does equal work for 25 percent less money, businesses would get rich just by hiring women. Why would any employer ever hire a man?

Martha Burk, chair of the National Council of Women's Organizations, gave this simple answer: "Because they like to hire men. They like to hire people like themselves and they darn sure like to promote people like themselves." In other words, men so love their fellow men that they are willing to pay a premium of, say, $10,000 on what would otherwise be a $30,000-a-year job, just for the sheer pleasure of employing a man.

Destructive and objectifying media portrayal

Less females in high positions

See above.

More females unemployed

A breakdown of the employment figures shows that men have been affected more
adversely than women during the present economic downturn. Male and female
unemployment rates were around the same levels in December 2007, 5.0% and 4.8%
respectively. Since then these two unemployment rates have diverged significantly. In
August 2009, the male unemployment rate stood at 10.9% while that of females was
8.2%. This 2.7 percentage point difference is the largest unemployment gender gap in the
postwar era. During the same period, there was a disproportionate decline in nonfarm
payroll employment for men than women. Nonfarm payroll employment fell 5.1 million
for men while it only dropped 1.8 million for women.

http://www.newyorkfed.org/research/e.../GenderGap.pdf

Not much control over their own bodies

Blue is legal on request.

Sexist abuse frequently

On what grounds?

Sexual abuse frequently.

Can't really be disputed.

I'm not going to run circles with you, darlings. Both you and Raisty-baby keep chipping away and getting nowhere like men with erectile dysfunctions.

How delicious.



I also have no idea why that thumbnail says rape, since it's not about that.

i hate to be politically incorrect, but empirically woman-on-man rape is anomalous.

and, this i will probably get heat for, i would bet many 15 year old males would enjoy having a woman who has attained majority to initiate sex with them.

Originally Posted by minervyx

i hate to be politically incorrect, but empirically woman-on-man rape is anomalous.

and, this i will probably get heat for, i would bet many 15 year old males would enjoy having a woman who has attained majority to initiate sex with them.

As you've seen from the other posts in this thread, woman-on-man instances of domestic violence are not nearly as uncommon as you would think, and one could also assume from this that woman-on-man rape is more common than you'd think, too. It simply isn't reported as much because men would feel emasculated by admitting that they were raped by a woman.