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Old 12-20-2009, 09:35 AM
Valhelm Valhelm is a male United States Valhelm is offline
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Polygamy

What are your thoughts on polygamy? By polygamy, I mean one man having multiple wives. Is it wrong? Does it have advantages?
In my opinion, polygamy is fine and can be allowed. Does it really matter if a man has three rather than one wife? Share your thoughts, please.
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Old 12-20-2009, 09:47 AM
molph molph is offline
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Re: Polygamy

Actually, human beings in the past were never exclusive with one another. Most relationships were polygamist ones. Over the years, things changed, and values changed. People would want one person all to themselves and that's how the idea of monogamy got started. What we really do though, is serial monogamy: we have many partners throughout life but only go through them one at a time. Humans weren't meant to be with one person for ever and ever. They date multiple people over their life time. They choose to marry one.

I think that monogamous marriage isn't for everyone, and that if you want to date multiple people fine, but you shouldn't marry all of them. As long as all of your partners know about it and are okay with it, I don't see the problem. Marriage is generally between two people. While in some cases, polygamist marriages can actually be more successful than monogamous ones, it all depends on the people involved. You should only marry someone if you're truly serious about them, and it's really hard for someone to be truly serious about multiple people at once. One is always liked more than the other and favorites are picked.

To each his own, I suppose.
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Old 12-20-2009, 10:21 AM
Big Bro Davidia Big Bro Davidia is a male Nauru Big Bro Davidia is offline
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Re: Polygamy

I don't believe that a husband and a wife who truly have the deepest of relationships could comfortably extend those interactions to others. (This ties in well with my ideas on chastity, fidelity, and privacy within a marriage partnership).
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Old 12-20-2009, 10:35 AM
Avalanchemike Avalanchemike is a male The Byzantine Empire Avalanchemike is offline
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Re: Polygamy

There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing something the old-fashioned way - the fact that people do it means it's not old fashioned at all.
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Old 12-20-2009, 10:50 AM
Avalanchemike Avalanchemike is a male The Byzantine Empire Avalanchemike is offline
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Re: Polygamy

Well it might not be the best way, but I wouldn't say it's broke. And if it ain't broke ...

I'm not saying I don't understand what you're saying and I especially support the idea that women should be held equally in the regard that they may want multiple husbands if we were going to be instating (or perhaps I should be saying legalizing?) polygamy. But the idea of multiple wives having multiple husbands I can see causing a lot of problems, particularly in the law section. The bureaucratic messes ... *shudder*

They're bad now. Think about how bad they'd be with half an excuse.
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Old 12-20-2009, 10:58 AM
Avalanchemike Avalanchemike is a male The Byzantine Empire Avalanchemike is offline
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Re: Polygamy

Well, for the reasons of inheritances, healthcare, pensions and in the States the big thing would be, presumably, insurance. When you're married to someone if you die, you can know with a degree of certainty they can be provided for in some way. A common-law relationship doesn't provide that, at least not the extent of my knowledge.
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Old 12-20-2009, 11:03 AM
John John is a male Canada John is offline
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Re: Polygamy

I'd support legalized polygamy and polyandry. There are plenty of couples out there now who have "open" relationships who are polygamysts/polyandrysts in all but name.

Polygamy and Polyandry are not innately harmful, and so I see no reason to not legalize them.
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Old 12-20-2009, 11:06 AM
Big Bro Davidia Big Bro Davidia is a male Nauru Big Bro Davidia is offline
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Re: Polygamy

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Originally Posted by Andross View Post
But why should it be limited to just one other person? That just seems like far too conservative/old-fashioned of a view to hold of "love."

I see no reason why someone couldn't perfectly "love" two other individuals equally; being willing to sacrifice his or her own life to save them or other romantic stuff.
Get into a relationship and you'll find out the value of sharing TIME equally, as well. 50% is a far cry from 100%. And the square-root of 2 over 2 is still only 87% at best ;0)
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Old 12-20-2009, 11:55 AM
Vega Vega is a male Scotland Vega is offline
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Re: Polygamy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Bro Davidia View Post
Get into a relationship and you'll find out the value of sharing TIME equally, as well. 50% is a far cry from 100%. And the square-root of 2 over 2 is still only 87% at best ;0)
.

The same can apply to child-rearing - the parents shouldn't ever have any more than one child, because their resources will be spread too thinly, which will diminish the quality of parent-child relationships.

Do you think it's possible to love and support multiple children?

EDIT:

Personally, I generally don't approve of polygamous relationships, although it has nothing to do with being only capable of loving one person at a time, the rhetoric that surrounds 'the one' or any other such romantic nonsense.

When you compare marital satisfaction on multiple versus single-wife arrangements - which are far more common than the reverse, in both reality and the literature - the well-being and happiness of the women involved typically favours the latter.

Obviously there are other factors to consider. Even though most research is conducted within rather than between cultures, multiple-wives is a phenomenon that we usually see in countries where women possess less clout than their husbands.

In a big-brain species, passing the watermelons that sit on top of babies' necks is a pretty tiring affair. Whereas a cat can squeeze out a litter like it was nothing, child birth posses significantly more challenges to female humans than it does to many other species. Long periods of pregnancy, the intrinsic dangers of childbirth and the recovery process are obvious, although then there's the task of nurturing your little learning machine for the next few years.

Monogamy provides more rewards to women, and children, than it does to men so the presence of other women within a marriage might account for the increased rates of somatic and adjustment symptoms that these wives present. Especially when there are so many wives that a hierarchy emerges, and divisions between 'senior' and 'junior' wives emerge.

It would be interesting to see if the same effects are present in polygamous relationships occurring in cultures where men and women are on equal footing, although I don't think that such a culture exists, and there will probably be inevitable imbalances depending on which gender is most prominent.

In the very least, I think these marriages are only satisfying for a minority of the participants.
Last Edited by Vega; 12-20-2009 at 12:23 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:31 PM
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Re: Polygamy

I think I'm okay with polygamy...as long as polyandry is also allowed.
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:33 PM
Valhelm Valhelm is a male United States Valhelm is offline
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Re: Polygamy

I don't get polyandry's advantages, but, it should be allowed, too.
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:34 PM
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Re: Polygamy

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Originally Posted by AzraelBlack View Post
In most cases, I believe polygamy devalues the love of marriage.

I personally am of the belief that I will marry because of love. I find it hard to believe that a man can love more than one woman, equally.

He will pick and favour, his favourites. This means the marriage will be less based on love as it may be for other reasons.

But thats just my opinion. I see nothing inherently wrong with polygamy.
Yes, that's my view. I don't know if Polygamy is evil, I just think it's not a very good situation.
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:45 PM
John John is a male Canada John is offline
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Re: Polygamy

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Originally Posted by AzraelBlack View Post
The same advantages as polygamy. Especially in a biological/darwinism sense.
Not really.

Polygamy allows multiple females to be impregnated at once, increasing the number of offspring carrying the father's genes.

Polyandry does not change the number of pregnancies or offspring in any way and, as such, is pretty rare (possibly non-existent) in nature.
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:46 PM
Freedom G Freedom G is a male United States Freedom G is offline
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Re: Polygamy

I don't agree with it really, but as long as they're all okay with it then let them.
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Old 12-20-2009, 09:09 PM
Big Bro Davidia Big Bro Davidia is a male Nauru Big Bro Davidia is offline
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Re: Polygamy

You're absolutely right about child-rearing (which is why many marriages never really survive it). However, that's where it's the job of children to spread their time out with each OTHER as well (it's called playtime). I'm not of the mindset that "adult playtime" is something which should be shared with multiple partners. For those who are, my own logic would seem empty.
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Old 12-21-2009, 08:33 AM
Valhelm Valhelm is a male United States Valhelm is offline
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Re: Polygamy

Polygamy has another advantage in an evolutionary sense. Because one male will have several females, less intelligent and weaker males will not be able to reproduce.
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Last Edited by Valhelm; 12-21-2009 at 08:42 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 12-21-2009, 08:40 AM
Big Bro Davidia Big Bro Davidia is a male Nauru Big Bro Davidia is offline
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Re: Polygamy

Hmmm...having a world full of my descendants DOES sound appealing.... I will have to reconsider this Polygamy issue... ;0)

'course...it'd suck to be you guys. :0P
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Old 12-22-2009, 04:44 PM
Red Dingo Red Dingo is a male United_States Red Dingo is offline
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Re: Polygamy

Humanity is in control of its own evolution for now, but you never know when something might send us back to square one. Which can happen, given how dependent we have become on electric grids and the potential for a solar disaster to wipe them out.

Barring that, there is the fact that some people think that monogamy will result in the deterioration of the Y Chromosome.
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Old 12-22-2009, 09:36 PM
Durga Durga is offline
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Re: Polygamy

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Originally Posted by Red Dingo View Post
Humanity is in control of its own evolution for now, but you never know when something might send us back to square one. Which can happen, given how dependent we have become on electric grids and the potential for a solar disaster to wipe them out.

Barring that, there is the fact that some people think that monogamy will result in the deterioration of the Y Chromosome.
We'll just adapt if such a thing ever occurs. Change is the only thing that doesn't change.

And what cause people to believe that?
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Old 12-24-2009, 11:05 PM
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Re: Polygamy

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Well, I don't really see why we're bringing evolution/biology in to the discussion anyway. Advantages in terms of reproduction or no, we as a species have pretty much surpassed "survival of the fittest" anyway (We are virtually in control of our own evolution, and that control is only going to strengthen as genetic engineering comes in to play)
Yes we are in control of our own evolution, and at this point, we are only degrading our genetics. We are leaving all of these defections in our genetic code by cures and vaccines, only prolonging the effect of the disease. Of course at first it will rock the population, but considering our disgustingly gross overpopulation of this world, I do not see how it could be too wrong to lose a few. Allow the disease to weave itself out of our genetics and we will become a more advanced species.
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