Having Children

There's a line in a song that goes "Baby have you seen, there is a snake in our paradise. I serpent that's wriggling between us and freezing our feelings to ice". In my mind, that snake is a baby.

This is that song for reference http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkLhAxbUecw

I'm going to have children. Hopefully two or three, but not more than that. Having and raising children is what we are pretty much made/evolved for.

I'm not going to lie. I think it's wrong to not want kids, and it's very unnatural and really horrible to say things like "baby are disgusting."

As far as kids being "annoying" goes, they're only as annoying as their parents make them. So, if you don't want to deal with the terrible twos, then don't raise your kids to be that way.

And when people say "Kids will hamper on my fun. I want to enjoy life." Children are another way to enjoy life, and one can certainly wait on having them. And the "flames" AKA Sex life doesn't have to end with children. Unless you want your kids to be social outcasts and keep them in the house all day (which really is what happens), I don't see how people CAN'T find the time to be romantic. Of course, that point is null if you want to have sex 24/7.

And some people say that having a child is a burden on their financial resources. Duh. That's why you have kids when you ARE financially able. The stupidity of statements like these astounds me.

I haven't found a reason to not have children, unless for some reason, you really, really hated them. So, whatever.

Originally Posted by TheBattler

I'm going to have children. Hopefully two or three, but not more than that. Having and raising children is what we are pretty much made/evolved for.

I'm not going to lie. I think it's wrong to not want kids, and it's very unnatural and really horrible to say things like "baby are disgusting."

As far as kids being "annoying" goes, they're only as annoying as their parents make them. So, if you don't want to deal with the terrible twos, then don't raise your kids to be that way.

And when people say "Kids will hamper on my fun. I want to enjoy life." Children are another way to enjoy life, and one can certainly wait on having them. And the "flames" AKA Sex life doesn't have to end with children. Unless you want your kids to be social outcasts and keep them in the house all day (which really is what happens), I don't see how people CAN'T find the time to be romantic. Of course, that point is null if you want to have sex 24/7.

And some people say that having a child is a burden on their financial resources. Duh. That's why you have kids when you ARE financially able. The stupidity of statements like these astounds me.

I haven't found a reason to not have children, unless for some reason, you really, really hated them. So, whatever.

1. I really don't care what you think. Maybe I am unnatural
2. Or I'll just not raise them at all. In fact, I'll never have them. My mind is made.
3. If you consider changing diapers, buying toys, and later paying for their tuition "fun", that's your business.
4. Maybe I want a boat? Maybe a nice house? don't know, but I don't want toys and crap laying around my house to remind me my sex life has ended.
5. I don't hate children, I just would be ill-suited to fatherhood. I'm the kind of guy that enjoys my sex life very much, and I'll continue to have it as much as I desire.

That being said, if something happened, I wouldn't go for abortion. I hate the idea of abortion even worse than the idea of having kids. I respect your decision not to have kids, but I'd like you to respect my decision not to. It's my right, and I want to continue to do what I do.

There are many reasons to not have kids. One of the absolute biggest problems with humanity is the production of kids which are either unwanted, can't be provided for, or conceived out of ignorance of what raising them actually entails. People do not have to have kids if they don't want them, aren't in a decent situation to provide for them, or are unwilling to be responsible for them or can't and put them up for adoption. If someone is not ready able and willing to fully take care of a kid and provide the absolute best life for them or simply don't want to, then they should not have kids. Its unfair to the kid, and its an unnecessary strain on the parents to have to take care of something that they really couldn't afford to. Simply having kids for the sake of having kids, is the immoral thing.

I don't mind kids if the parents raise them right, but I won't be having kids until I become an architect, and a well paid one at that. I'd like to put my dreams before having kids thanks.

Originally Posted by Nox

I don't mind kids if the parents raise them right, but I won't be having kids until I become an architect, and a well paid one at that. I'd like to put my dreams before having kids thanks.

Yeah, I wanna wait until I've made a lot of money and am successful and happy with what I've done. Which is why I'm waiting until I'm 30ish.

Originally Posted by Ikana General

1. I really don't care what you think. Maybe I am unnatural
2. Or I'll just not raise them at all. In fact, I'll never have them. My mind is made.
3. If you consider changing diapers, buying toys, and later paying for their tuition "fun", that's your business.
4. Maybe I want a boat? Maybe a nice house? don't know, but I don't want toys and crap laying around my house to remind me my sex life has ended.
5. I don't hate children, I just would be ill-suited to fatherhood. I'm the kind of guy that enjoys my sex life very much, and I'll continue to have it as much as I desire.

I'd once again recommend that you at least stay vaguely open to the idea or at least talking about it. My aunt, for example, really wanted children once she was married and her husband really put his foot down and would barely even entertain the idea. She's still quite upset that the chance has been taken away from her with little explanation (though I'm sure most of his concerns are similar to yours), but she loves her husband and won't leave him over one thing when everything else is going well.

I can understand your concern about your sex life, however, I don't think you should base the entirety of your decision on that. If you simply don't want to have children, that's one thing. I totally understand that and would never really want to see a child raised in a home where one of the parents resents the fact that years of their life is being "taken up" by this child.

However, if you're only qualm is really sexually (since you keep bringing it up), that seems a bit...silly to be honest. Although a valid concern when coupled with others (and certainly something to consider), plenty of couples with children have kept their love life going quite strongly and frequently even with children, in their younger years and their older years. Then again, I guess it really depends on how much of a sex life you need to be satisfied. Everyone's different I suppose.

Originally Posted by TheBattler

I'm going to have children. Hopefully two or three, but not more than that. Having and raising children is what we are pretty much made/evolved for.

I'm not going to lie. I think it's wrong to not want kids, and it's very unnatural and really horrible to say things like "baby are disgusting."

As far as kids being "annoying" goes, they're only as annoying as their parents make them. So, if you don't want to deal with the terrible twos, then don't raise your kids to be that way.

Personally, I'd like to adopt two children. Does that mean I think it's wrong not to want children? Absolutely not.

I think you're right about the way you raise a child affects how annoying they may be at certain times and I think often parents are more patient/less irritable with their own children (as opposed to someone else's). However, kids really aren't for everyone. You would like between 2-3 kids, some people decide on 11-19, and others do not wish to have any. What's so wrong with that?

If anything is wrong, it's having a child when you yourself don't really want one or have the desire to put in the effort to raise them. This puts the child in a bad situation and really isn't fair to them at all. I'd much rather not pressure people into have children who do not wish to have them.

Also, babies are disgusting in some regards. Some people don't see a payoff at the end of the long "dependent" stage and some do. Some don't see the cute that accompanies babies as worth the effort of doing disgusting things. Babies are a huge amount of effort, they really cannot do much for themselves. You have to feed, clothe, bathe, and wipe babies. This is not generally an appealing prospect, you must admit.

Originally Posted by TheBattler

And when people say "Kids will hamper on my fun. I want to enjoy life." Children are another way to enjoy life, and one can certainly wait on having them. And the "flames" AKA Sex life doesn't have to end with children. Unless you want your kids to be social outcasts and keep them in the house all day (which really is what happens), I don't see how people CAN'T find the time to be romantic. Of course, that point is null if you want to have sex 24/7.

I agree that having children can be truly rewarding, but not everyone thinks that raising/teaching/playing with/getting to know a child is enjoyable. Just as not everyone likes playing video games or eating asparagus. Different strokes for different folks, if you will. Just as I don't think playing video games is necessary for a happy life, I don't think children are either.

I do agree that the only reason used shouldn't be "I don't want my sex life disrupted" since you really can keep up an active sex life even with children. It is certainly something for people to consider though, sex is a very important aspect of many people's lives often times.

Originally Posted by TheBattler

And some people say that having a child is a burden on their financial resources. Duh. That's why you have kids when you ARE financially able. The stupidity of statements like these astounds me.

For people who see no appeal in children though, this is a valid concern. If someone would really get more enjoyment out of a boat than a child, why shouldn't they go for the boat? Are you saying that everyone who has the resources to raise a child should, otherwise they're being immoral? Why would that be true? Even if someone had the money, if they don't have the drive/desire to raise a child, the child is going to be the one getting the short end of the stick. That doesn't seem terribly fair.


Whoops, sorry for the novel.

I didn't read the rest of this thread, and I'm sorry, but I had to pop in and address:

Originally Posted by TheBattler

I'm not going to lie. I think it's wrong to not want kids

WHAT. Are you serious? How in the holy mother of the universe is it "wrong"?
THat's.... I can't even believe this.
This is blowing my mind that someone would think this.

EDIT: For the record, I don't want kids, or a wife, or any romance at all, and I never have.

Originally Posted by TheBattler

I'm not going to lie. I think it's wrong to not want kids, and it's very unnatural and really horrible to say things like "baby are disgusting."

As far as kids being "annoying" goes, they're only as annoying as their parents make them. So, if you don't want to deal with the terrible twos, then don't raise your kids to be that way.

Kids are all different. Some have personalities that do not gel with personalities of particular adults, and that's not the parents' fault. And changing nappies isn't exactly glamourous. And the sleepless nights, and the school runs, and the need to always have a reliable babysitter if you want to go out, and all of that tends to eat away at the hours in the day, and one's energy. Raising a child is not easy, and many people do a piss-poor job of it. There's nothing wrong with not innately wanting to contribute to the already-swelling global population.

What makes it "wrong", exactly?

My mind has been made for along time, I don't want want kids and Im not going to have them, Theres more to life then sacrificing everything to raise them, and I hate kids with the passion people hate Paris Hilton with. Alot.
And with the worlds population reaching massive unsubstainable levels and overcrowding becoming a major issue, WHY do people keep popping out like 5 kids when the world can't substain them? Thats the issue of "Wrong" when your kids are middle aged and countries like Britian's population have exploded to a projected 100 million when it can bearly substain 65 million and struggling with 70.

After spending some time with my nieces, I have to say i doubt I'm responsible enough to be a father. And in this day and age it wouldn't be looked well upon if I expected my wife to do most of the child rearing whiel I managed the bills. So even if I do find a woman, I'll probably never have kids.

EDIT: For the record, I don't want kids, or a wife, or any romance at all, and I never have.

*High fives*

Yeah, like I said before, I don't want kids at all. Kids truly aren't for everybody. If I ever do have a kid, I'd just feel like my life is over, and my life is based soley on the kid now.

Even when I am around my little cousins (they are around 3 and 5), I can't stand them! They are so annoying with their temper tantrums and everything. In my head I'm just like "Get the hell away from me!" So, I think its safe to say kids aren't for me.

Originally Posted by Florina Belmont

Being a single parent is balls. She was fine, yeah right. She worked all the time, didnt she? Stress levels to the max, right? Its ass. Did you see your father alot? Were you able to have a decent relationship with him? Also my main point is this: Having children with random people, just because, isnt cool. Like i mentioned in my first post: Broken homes suck balls.

Yep. I was able to see my dad lots of times because he didn't live very far away. In fact, he was right in the same town, pretty much.

My mom worked yes, but she only needed to support herself and me, so it wasn't extremely stressful.

Originally Posted by Celvantis

My mind has been made for along time, I don't want want kids and Im not going to have them, Theres more to life then sacrificing everything to raise them, and I hate kids with the passion people hate Paris Hilton with. Alot.

Out of curiosity, what constitutes "more to life"? Skydiving? Climbing Mt Everest? Having lots of sex with random supermodels? I could just as easily turn around and say that there's more to life than [whatever you have in mind].

On top of which, it's not exactly necessary to sacrifice everything. You just need to be prepared.

You say you don't want to have kids? Bravo don't care. You say you don't need kids? Bravo don't care! You say that you HATE kids? THAT's when Bravo cares.

A hatred of children is unhealthy, in my opinion. It's symptomatic of misanthropy.

Yep. I was able to see my dad lots of times because he didn't live very far away. In fact, he was right in the same town, pretty much.

My mom worked yes, but she only needed to support herself and me, so it wasn't extremely stressful.

^^you lucked out. Not everyone got it like that. I remember you mentioning you had Asperger's. Was that rough on your mom? Id imagine it may have been tough.
I remember how i was one of the only people in my class who's parents never split. :/

WHAT. Are you serious? How in the holy mother of the universe is it "wrong"?
THat's.... I can't even believe this.
This is blowing my mind that someone would think this.

Yeah i agree, Tonch.

I'm always thinking about making babies.

I don't hate children I just think they're annoying and messy and noisy and just not worth the trouble.

Originally Posted by Bravo

Out of curiosity, what constitutes "more to life"? Skydiving? Climbing Mt Everest? Having lots of sex with random supermodels? I could just as easily turn around and say that there's more to life than [whatever you have in mind].

On top of which, it's not exactly necessary to sacrifice everything. You just need to be prepared.

You say you don't want to have kids? Bravo don't care. You say you don't need kids? Bravo don't care! You say that you HATE kids? THAT's when Bravo cares.

A hatred of children is unhealthy, in my opinion. It's symptomatic of misanthropy.

No its not. people hate kids, Its not a mental illness. they just do so get over it. And should I seek your consent on what to like or state on the forum topic? Stop ramming your views down other peoples necks.

Originally Posted by Celvantis

No its not. people hate kids, Its not a mental illness. they just do so get over it. And should I seek your consent on what to like or state on the forum topic? Stop ramming your views down other peoples necks.

Take it easy, bub. What's wrong with kids? And do you mean ALL kids, or just some?

i plan on adopting 1, maybe 2 kids when im older ^_^

I used to adamantly want children. For the most part, I don't want children anymore. I have days where I feel soft and motherly and want offspring but I am anti-child right now. I don't feel like I could handle having children just yet, though I do want to adopt in the future. Maybe if I meet the right pesron I'll have kids with them, but for now I'm not interested. I think it really depends on the person and that it doesn't make sense for people to force children on others who don't want them.