[Zorolo] Torus White's Training

Done and done. Now, I haven't done anything about the trap because I think I can provide a counterargument to what you mentioned (assuming there isn't a "no backchat" rule in the Dome )

The rope could be holding up a weight of some sort, which when dropped would be able to provide the required lifting by way of a tree branch modifying the direction of the momentum. This would be achieved if the rope being cut was tethering the weight in midair, thus cutting it would cause gravity to pull it downwards.

In fact, this is the best way to provide said momentum, since pulling the trap yourself requires time and effort at the time of springing, whereas the weight allows that effort to be spent beforehand, allowing the triggering process to be instantaneous, and in this case even possible to be performed from a distance.

So I should probably edit something to that effect in to the post, huh...though I'm not entirely sure how to slot something to that effect in without breaking up the flow of the text.

Now that's done with, I also deviated slightly in a couple other places...hope you don't mind. And with respect to the "then" thing...umm, heheh *disappears*

*appears again* I think I might need some advice on that...I'm kinda used to writing in that general style so I'll need to be presented with an alternative before I can stop. Other than that...the wait wasn't a concern since I was away on holiday. I think I announced that in the homeroom in any case, however.

And I was never good at taking compliments, so...*vanishes again*

Originally Posted by MrRandom

Done and done. Now, I haven't done anything about the trap because I think I can provide a counterargument to what you mentioned (assuming there isn't a "no backchat" rule in the Dome )

The rope could be holding up a weight of some sort, which when dropped would be able to provide the required lifting by way of a tree branch modifying the direction of the momentum. This would be achieved if the rope being cut was tethering the weight in midair, thus cutting it would cause gravity to pull it downwards.

In fact, this is the best way to provide said momentum, since pulling the trap yourself requires time and effort at the time of springing, whereas the weight allows that effort to be spent beforehand, allowing the triggering process to be instantaneous, and in this case even possible to be performed from a distance.

So I should probably edit something to that effect in to the post, huh...though I'm not entirely sure how to slot something to that effect in without breaking up the flow of the text.

Now that's done with, I also deviated slightly in a couple other places...hope you don't mind. And with respect to the "then" thing...umm, heheh *disappears*

*appears again* I think I might need some advice on that...I'm kinda used to writing in that general style so I'll need to be presented with an alternative before I can stop. Other than that...the wait wasn't a concern since I was away on holiday. I think I announced that in the homeroom in any case, however.

And I was never good at taking compliments, so...*vanishes again*

I know the mechanics of an Attwood Machine my friend. However even assuming this is what you where implying it still would not work. The Rope that held up the counter weight would have to be tied to a grounded object such as a tree right? There fore if the rope was to be cut then the Weight would fall taking the rest of the rope not grounded anymore with it, correct? Then how was the arrow "Below" a piece of rope, if the rope presumable got dragged with the counter weight. In no way should that rope still be in the same place it was when the arrow hit.

Game, Set, Match.

You can argue anything you want, just make sure you think it through before you do. =P

ASIGNMENT TIME

ITS FIGHTING TIME! Have the two duel it out for most of the post, then at the end have White come out victorious(Let him win, but don't kill Learon). Just as White grabs the sword, have Tsuukai appear from the shadow and draw his sword. Don't make Tsuukai say anything.

This time there are no stipulations, But I shall be expecting your best work.

OoC : Hmm...I'm not sure if there was enough fighting done here, but you asked for a description of the fragment's usual residence, so I put that in anyhoo. I'll redo most of this for more fighting if necessary. Oh, and sorry about the fourth wall

BiC : "Hmm, what's going on out there now..." muttered Blue as he got up slowly.

"Eh, that imbecile Red has managed to get us into a combat situation again," Purple replied as his non-summoned form took a seat on a conveniently appearing chair. Casting his eyes about the room, he marveled once again at the bizarre space that had been created for White's fragments.

Of course the area didn't actually exist, it was merely a section of White's brain that had been modified to house other consciousnesses. It altered the perception of anyone residing within it so they felt just like they were in a spacious room with the floor, roof, and three of the walls a dark grey. The fourth wall was a completely transparent surface through which White's current field of vision could be seen. Interestingly it was possible for inhabitants to talk through this fourth wall, a feature Whites fragments frequently took advantage of.

While the area was mostly constant in it's appearance, the minds within it held some control over it, allowing them to summon up chairs and other such non-complicated objects, though these didn't actually exist but were rather perceived by all in the "room", much like a group hallucination. Since the occupants are not actually physically present they cannot be harmed, though they still feel pain when attacked by one another.

"Well, it should be interesting to watch, whatever happens," muttered Purple, turning to face the fourth wall.

As the other fragments discussed this new situation, Red shouted a loud curse when his greatsword connected with nothing but air. Whirling around, White's blazing red eyes spotted Learon nocking an arrow next to the nearest pillar...but something seemed odd about the way he was doing it; Green noticed that he wasn't resting the arrow on his other hand. Even stranger was the fact that he was nocking two arrows at once; surely an experienced archer like him knew that they would interfere with each other's flight paths? But after another quick look, Green noticed the strangest thing of all: the arrows seemed to be held inside the wood of the bow.

He began relating this information to White and Red as they ducked behind a pillar. Learon's bow, it seemed, could reform itself around the arrows as they were fired which allowed for greater accuracy and precision, as well as faster aiming, nocking, drawing, and firing. Green was rather impressed with the weapon, Purple was curious as to how it worked, but all Red cared about was how to avoid or preferably destroy it.

"Bah, we can't get close enough to him to land a blow without being turned into a human pincushion...small price to pay to see my greatsword lodged in his skull, though," Red grumbled intensely as he tried to get White to charge out from behind cover.

"Stop it! Do you want to get us killed?"

"If it gets vengeance on him, then hell yes!"

"Oh..." White replied with rising panic.

"Hold it, I think I may have a solution. The arrows are still just mundane wood and metal, so therefore susceptible to Red's fire magic. If you can incinerate the shaft, the head should start spinning aimlessly thanks to the lack of flights."

"I guess if we don't get killed that's better in the long run anyway...alright, so what do we do?"

"Just make sure the temperature surrounding you is higher than the flashpoint of wood so the arrows won't connect. It will take a lot of power to maintain though, so you'd best be quick."

With that, White charged out from behind the pillar, surrounded with a constantly shifting aura of fire. Learon immediately loosed several arrows at him, but they all incinerated just as Purple had predicted, the heads bouncing off like harmless pebbles. However, there was still the issue of Learon's speed; White's next greatsword swing was equally futile, resulting only in a blow to the back of his head with a heavy club.

"Wait...a club? Where did he get that from?" White yelled, spinning around just in time to see Learon's bow ripple strangely.

"Curious...it seems that bow may be a little more than it appears."

"Listen to your purple friend, White...it's made of flowstone, so I can reshape it at will. Incredibly durable too, with lots of-" Learon's boasting was cut short as he jumped aside to avoid another sword stroke. The greatsword slammed into the pillar Learon had been in front of moments ago, cleaving it neatly in two, which resulted in the shrine beginning to collapse. The two combatants dashed outside as the structure gave in, both looking back to make sure the sword was okay and breathing a simultaneous sigh of relief when they found that it was. Red wasted no time in getting White to attack again, but Learon was ready for them, jumping aside in his usual manner and eliciting another loud swearing rant from Red.

The pair continued fighting in this manner for some minutes, White making massive swings which failed to connect, but prevented Learon from counterattacking. Eventually White's strength began to falter, leaving an opening for his opponent to take advantage of. Several arrows grazed the side of White's arm, causing him to drop his greatsword and clutch his right arm in pain.

A hefty blow from Learon's flowstone club left White was lying on the ground, somewhat concussed. Luckily for him Red wasn't about to give up his chance at revenge, so as Learon walked towards the sword he leapt to his feet, grabbed the greatsword again, and flew at Learon with. Caught off guard, all Learon could do was block most of the blow's force with a shield that he'd formed from his bow. The sheer force of the blow knocked him off balance, sending him tumbling down the mountain like a rag doll. Satisfied, the red glow in White's eyes disappeared and he walked towards the sword, still holding his right arm.

Just as he laid his right hand on it, White became aware of a presence behind him. Pulling the sword out of it's resting place, he spun around to see Tsuukai standing behind him.

"Look, I got the sword as you-" White stopped speaking as he noticed his teacher drawing his own blade. Unsure of what to do, he switched the shining blade he'd just picked up to his uninjured left arm, preparing for the worst.

OoC : Bit short I think, but still...

Originally Posted by MrRandom

OoC : Hmm...I'm not sure if there was enough fighting done here, but you asked for a description of the fragment's usual residence, so I put that in anyhoo. I'll redo most of this for more fighting if necessary. Oh, and sorry about the fourth wall

If your wondering the reason I wanted that is because I read a Digimon Fanfiction(Yes Digimon...don't question it!) once that had a very similar mind entity thing, and I was wondering if their world was similar to the one I read too. Turns out it is XD

"Eh, that imbecile Red has managed to get us into a combat situation again.*" Purple replied as his non-summoned form took a seat on a conveniently appearing chair. Casting his eyes about the room, he marveled once again at the bizarre space that had been created for White's fragments.

*This should be a comma not a period.

While the area was mostly constant in it's appearance, the minds within it held some control over it, allowing them to summon up chairs and other such non-complicated objects, though these didn't actually exist but were rather perceived by all in the "room", much like a group hallucination. Since the occupants are not actually physically present they cannot be harmed, though they still feel pain.

Do you mean feel white's pain? Or Pain from fighting with each other?

"Well, it should be interesting to watch, whatever happens." muttered Purple, turning to face the fourth wall.

Once again that period should be a comma.

That is all I can really see, I didn't look all that throughly but ya know. Over all a very good post. Good job. Fix those few things and you shall get your assignment.

Alright, done. Ooh, less edits is good ^_^. Oh, and I might not do anything about the next assignment for a time...I've got my other training thread to reply to, the tournament when it comes around, and Brawl. (^_^!!) So sorry about that.

The black robed teacher laughed for a second before lowering his blade, "Do you really think you could face me injured as you are? Heal yourself, then I will see what exactly you are made from," The way Tsuukai spoke always left no room for contestation, he never bellowed but he allowed the tone of his voice, and the emphasis on his words ring hard enough to show that what he said was no matter of opinion, nor any choice of the other.

With a light shink of his blade Tsuukai sheathed his blade, and crossed his arms as he lowered His eyes towards the ground in meditation.

ASSIGNMENT TIME!

This shall be white's biggest test yet. Heal him up, and prepare him for he shall face the Master of Shadows himself in a battle of epic proportions. Though White does have an advantage, the sword he just retreived has many uses, and all of them are secret. As the two cross blades the newly found blade will slowly reveail its powers, what powers you ask? Well that is up to you. Bare in mind that Tsuukai will not be fighting to his full potential, because that would just be mean.

"Well, that's a mercy at least," White muttered to himself, summoning Yellow from the depths of his mind to help him with his wounds.

"Oh my...you really should be more careful, you know. Ah well, there shouldn't be a problem anyway," Yellow exclaimed brightly, yanking the arrows out of White's arm while humming cheerfully. White actually found the overall effect quite spooky, but he wasn't about to argue with the results: many waves of Yellow's hand and a warm tingly sensation later and his arm was as good as new. Yellow then promptly disappeared, leaving behind a brightly coloured lollipop of some description, which White ignored.

"White, could you let me out so I can analyze our enemy for you?" Purple asked enthusiastically. White didn't reply, but just summoned him on the spot. Purple adjusted his glasses and peered closely at their teacher, carefully gauging his strengths and weaknesses...except that all he could perceive was an immense mass of shadow.

"Well that's not useful at all. All I can tell is that he is immensely powerful. I don't think we even stand a chance," he remarked after being unsummoned. In light of this, White cleared his throat nervously and addressed the teacher.

"Umm...will you be using all your strength when you fight us...sir?" he said uncertainly. Tsuukai looked up and stared at White before responding with a deep, hollow laugh that coming from anyone else might have been mistaken for amusement. White returned the stare for a full minute before his teacher spoke:

"You do not want to see my full strength, White."

Bah, who does he think he is! I say we take him on at full power right here and now!

We cannot; he is simply too powerful.

There's got to be a way to defeat him...

We should just hope that he merely wishes to test us. As a teacher, would that really be so surprising?

We still, however, require a strategy for taking on such a powerful opponent. Something sneaky...

Given the massive amounts of shadow I picked up, I would say we try light magic first.

Did someone say light magic? Blue chimed in, given that was his specialty.

Yes, we need your light magic to lead an attack against-

Whoa, hold up a second there. I'm not attacking anyone who hasn't been wrongdoing recently...who do you want me to attack, anyway?

White's teacher, Tsuukai, is somehow connected to shadows. We need-

No. Our teacher is a reputable man, as far as I know, so I will not be helping you fight him.

But he wants us to! He is testing us, we believe.

I said no, and that is final, Blue said in thought, a hint of Red creeping into his voice.

This is pointless. We need some other source of light magic.

The answer may be closer than you think. Look around.

Hold on...the sword! Maybe it acts as a source of- As if in response to his thoughts, the sword he held suddenly shone brightly enough that White had to avert his eyes. Seeing this, Tsuukai slowly rose to his feet.

"I presume that you are ready now?" White's increasingly enigmatic teacher said slowly.

Quickly, attack him while he's still preparing!

That would just be plain dishonest...it can only end badly.

But it is effective strategically.

Just pound him!

White gave in to the majority and charged towards Tsuukai in a slashing motion, but his blade was brought to a sudden and jarring stop just before making contact. Looking up, he saw that the shadowy fighter had not moved an inch except to draw his own blade just before White struck him. With a slight flick of his sword, he flung White away from him and settled into a battle stance.

"It would appear so. The first move is yours, White."

Well, I did warn you...

How could you know it was going to end badly?

...precognition...Sienna mentally mumbled very quietly.

What was that?

Erm, nothing?

I can tell that's not true...how unlike you, Sienna.

This is not the time. We should be preparing to fight...Purple?

Yes?

Can you check out this sword for me?

Gladly, Purple replied mentally, altering White's characteristics subtly to allow him to examine the sword better.

It appears to...magnify light? I cannot tell, but it is something to do with light. But if Blue refuses to-

I am also capable of light magic; it is good that we have two differing sources of it, is it not?

Excellent! White, I would suggest allowing him some control as well.

"Alright," White muttered out loud, his features changing from purple to a more maroon shade as he felt his wisdom take a more dominant position within his mind.

Tsuukai, in the meantime, was becoming increasingly bored with watching White's internal monologue. "You will have to begin this battle at some point," he said matter-of-factly.

Alright then, Tsuukai, White said in Maroon's voice, let's get this over with.

Try the light first.

White did so and attempted to channel a basic light beam through the sword. The result was spectacular, enough so to almost blind White, but also entirely ineffective as his teacher merely produced some sort of shadowy shield to block the ray of light.

"Is that the best you can do?" Tsuukai uttered mockingly. "Perhaps I wasted my time on you-" The shadow fighter's comment was cut short as he created another small shield to intercept a second ray aimed at his back. After several failed attempts to get a ray through, White eventually managed to produce eleven rays at once. The first ten were all blocked as normal, but the eleventh slipped through Tsuukai's defenses and slammed into his side...where it did absolutely nothing.

"What, you thought that just light was going to do something?" the teacher said even more mockingly.

Stupid...well, it was worth a try. I guess that approach is useless, Purple said unusually loudly.

But I did notice the shields fading just a little whenever a ray struck them. Perhaps the presence of light is the important aspect. Do not use it again for now, but hold on to the thought. It may become relevant lat- Purple thought, but White missed the end of it as he was knocked off his feet by some sort of explosion laced with shadow.

"Are we going to fight or just stand around listening to voices in your head?" Tsuukai said impatiently, as though he was eager to continue the battle. White guessed he was, but couldn't quite work out why. Red seemed happy to oblige, Magenta wanted to bring it down to a contest of swordplay, and even Purple agreed that the prudent course of action would be to attempt a direct fight. This in mind, White swapped out Maroon in favour of Magenta's combat prowess and raised his sword to charge, noting that the shining sword he had newly found and Magenta's greatsword had somehow fused into one weapon.

Despite the immense power of his swings, each and every one of White's blows were blocked effortlessly; Tsuukai didn't even try to dodge any of them. Every now and then, the master of shadows would deliver a crushing punch to White's armour, despite being perfectly positioned to swing his sword or use another of his shadow explosions. It was as if Tsuukai was trying to see how badly he could fight before White stood a chance against him, something which Red did not appreciate.

Grr...let me at the freak! Red thought furiously as yet another blow was diverted with little effort by the shadowy fighter.

We cannot achieve victory through force of blows, as hard as that may be for Magenta to accept.

Just watch me.

I have been for the past five minutes, moron.

What did you just-

Alright, calm down you two...

It's alright, I have a plan.

Oh, huzzah! We are all saved because Purple has a plan! Magenta ranted sarcastically. Purple ignored the remark and continued.

You have to let Green in there as well, but do it discreetly so Tsuukai doesn't notice.

Oh, I see where this is headed. Trust me, you need to do this.

Alright, let's hope this one works at least, White thought with more than a little trepidation. A small dagger appeared in his left hand as he shifted his grip on the greatsword to his right hand only; though this strained him greatly, Magenta appeared to relish the physical challenge and continued swinging his weapon, though with a slight increase in accuracy that Tsuukai immediately picked up on.

"I know you're in there, Green..." Tsuukai muttered, thoroughly frightening Green and almost making him abandon their strategy. He persevered, however, and a few blows later slipped White's left hand towards the underside of Tsuukai's outstretched sword arm. The shadow master noticed this, of course, and began forming a shield around the area. Before he could complete it, however, Magenta's newly enhanced greatsword shone brightly and an intense beam shot out of it, stopping the shield in its tracks. Green had just enough time to plunge White's hand and the dagger upwards to barely scratch Tsuukai's forearm before his left hand hurled White away with inhuman strength.

Yes! Got him! Green said a little too loudly for White's liking.

"Got me? While I admit that was impressive for such a novice, I fail to see how-" Tsuukai stopped as he began to notice the effects of the poison. "Oh, poison. Clever." he said, but not sincerely. Magenta continued the relentless greatsword assault, and coupled with Green's dexterity, the three began to push Tsuukai back as the poison dulled his reflexes a little. After several minutes of intense fighting, Tsuukai decided to begin using his sword as a weapon and not just a tool for shielding. This decision led to several nasty cuts on White's arms before he decided to go on the defensive, a decision which Red thoroughly disliked.

Right, that does it. I'm coming in there, Red exclaimed angrily, forcing himself on White's psyche. Too tired and involved in the fight to protest, White felt a second greatsword appear in place of the dagger in his left hand, coupled with the strength to wield it. Purple was providing a magical strength boost from inside White's head, but it wasn't going to last much longer unless Purple was summoned, which was far too risky.

Furious at this Tsuukai person for belittling White and himself, Red forced White to ignore the pain of Tsuukai's continuous attacks and hammer away with the pair of greatswords in his hands. Despite the damage White was taking, he was managing to score several hits on his opponent and even managed to wind his teacher for the briefest of moments with a blow to his stomach. Purple's strength boost faded fast, leaving White running purely on Magenta's incredible strength and the rage given to him by Red. Several powerful blows later and Tsuukai's chainmail was showing some serious dents thanks to Red's use of the greatsword as more of a bludgeoning weapon than anything else.

Finally, White/Magenta/Red/Green landed a blow against Tsuukai's lower leg, tripping the shadow master. Red immediately brought both greatswords to a position where they crossed just in front of Tsuukai's neck, a triumphant smirk on White's face. Tsuukai looked up and said "Enough," chains of shadow leaping from his wrists and binding White to a nearby pillar. He broke one of the chains easily, but Tsuukai flung several more at the pillar until their density held even Magenta's strengh and Red's anger in check.

"That will do for now...it was an amusing diversion for a time," their teacher stated in a monotone. White doubted that there was anything amusing about the battle at all, but decided against voicing this, instead going with "What happens now?" The shadow master slowly turned his head to White and spoke.

OoC: Oop, this is longer than I thought it would be! I presume it will need a LOT of fixing up; I'm getting used to roleplaying again.

Oh, and I'd like to thank you for probably being largely responsible for the unusually good marks I've gotten in English recently: Go teacher! xP

*SIDE THOUGHT TRAINING*

Just for my amusement, and for some literary variety. I want to see a first person post from White's perspective detailing how he feels about the whole debacle he is in. This can include how he see's Tsuukai, and the other aspects or anything of the sort. Just has to be first person, and entirely in inner dialogue. have fun =3

So what happens now? I thought to myself and the other fifteen or so fragments occupying my mind as I waited for Tsuukai to speak.

Beats me, replied my indifference, unsurprisingly; as if I would have expected a different answer from him.

Well, I would guess that he has now gauged our combat abilities-

Damn straight he has, my inner strength cut in with an almost audible smirk. He seemed pleased with at least the end of the fight.

As I was saying, I would guess he'll give us some sort of training to match the level he observed. After all, this is meant to be a school, right?

I'm not entirely sure I'm fond of our teacher anyway; Tsuukai seems rather shady to me, especially the way he fights.

Everyone looks shady to you, Blue. It's not like he has done anything wrong, so I see no reason not to trust his sense of morality. Besides which, someone evidently saw fit to have him teach us.

It was a simple discussion at first, but it threatened to blow out into another argument, which I felt sure my more sadistic side would use as an excuse to stab something. My head was still reeling after the fight so I had to intervene before things got out of hand.

Look, could you all just calm down? He didn't kill us when he had the opportunity to, and he's clearly planning to teach us all a thing or two. The ghost things in the room we met him in were somehow tailored to us, so he obviously knows a bit about us already. If we want to find out what's going on...

...then we should go along with whatever he has planned. I agree.

Mercifully, the fragment representing my anger had stayed quiet throughout this discussion. Of course, as soon as I thought too hard about his absence...

Well, I don't! That jerk just tied us to a pole and now we're going to just go along with whatever little mission he has planned? I say we lop his head off right now!

Be that as it may, he hasn't actually done anything to warrant such action.

Oh, let's see, he BEAT US UP. Come on, let's-

Do you mind, Red? Some of us are trying to think in here.

Could you all just-

Shut it, Purple. Some of us are also trying to do other things, so get used to it.

What, like trying to get us to attack someone much more powerful than ourselves?

We could take him if we tried harder!

Oh please; He mopped the floor with you and Red.

Oh, that is it. I'm gonna-

Sit right back down and cool off? My inner stability stepped up to prevent a conflict, the slightest hint of a threat in his voice.

Cool off? I'm the personification of White's anger! What sort of moron are you?

The kind that can send you flying back into the mental wall behind you with a flick of my finger?

Ha! I'd like to see that, Red grumbled, drawing his greatsword and moving towards Cyan. True to his word Cyan flicked a thin blue beam from his finger, striking Red in the chest and knocking him back into the wall.

Oh for- does every discussion you fragments have need to end in a fight? I-

Yes, they definitely do, Grey suddenly said, jumping out from behind Cyan and stabbing him in the thigh.

Alright, that's enough! Cyan and I yelled simultaneously.[I] We've gotten off track here. What we really need to be doing is working out what we should do next. So first thing: what do we think of this Tsuukai person?

Suspicious.

Fine.

Lousy jerk needs to be taken-

Alright, I get it already, Red!

So conflict had finally broken out overtly. I sighed and persevered with the discussion.

He seemed alright!

He was strong, so that is a plus.

And intelligent. I can tell he is intelligent.

The Dome seems to trust him, so there is no reason why we should not.

So, we're going to agree to whatever training he can give us?

Whatever...

Alright, that's settled, now-

It's not settled until I-

I said THAT'S SETTLED. Now then, what do we know?

We know that we are located in some sort of extra dimensional space where the training of particularly powerful individuals takes place.

Like us, of course.

Well obviously, or we wouldn't be here. In any case, Tsuukai is employed by whoever runs this...Dome to teach new students, i.e. us. Given that there are many other people here, I would surmise that the program is relatively successful. We still know very little about what's actually around here though.

So basically we're trapped in some weird space between dimensions with no way out, and they're just going to keep throwing nasty things at us until we get stronger? Lovely, my negativity muttered sarcastically.

Cheer up, Black! It's not as bad as it looks! Black's polar opposite, my happiness, chimed in helpfully.

Actually, it's exactly as bad as it looks, Black replied.

In any case, we still don't know how to leave this place or even how we got here! This lack of knowledge disturbs me.

I am inclined to agree...knowledge is power.

Yeah, sure. Maybe we can just cut this place open and run off.

Highly unlikely. If we can even get through the material, I have no idea where we would end up.

No-one asked you, smart guy.

And yet he is right, Magenta. Maybe Tsuukai knows something...

Yes he may well actually, being an employee here. So all we should have to do is ask him about it, correct?

Correction: All YOU have to do is ask him about it. I'm not going anywhere near him.

Oh, I'll do more than just ask him...

Alright, so Red's out obviously, I thought wearily. Purple, this was your idea.

But...

Oh, come on. It'll be good for your courage!

My courage is perfectly fine, thank you.

Oh. Of course. My mistake. Magenta said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Oh, that's what you think? Fine then, I will ask him, Purple said angrily, materialising a second later next to my precarious seat atop a smashed pillar.

Good, we need all the information we can get about this place. It may be advantageous later.

Summoning up all the courage he could, my intelligence walked forward a few steps and cleared his throat. Tsuukai immediately spun around and fixed him with a glare that he tried his best to hold. Luckily for him, my courage hadn't split into a separate fragment; otherwise, he would have just bolted.

After a few seconds of glaring, I almost got up and walked over there. The only thing that stopped me was Tsuukai's deep, almost dark voice that bored into my ears and kept me sitting while I listened.

"What is it you want, Purple?" He asked. Almost losing his nerve, Purple developed a sudden stutter which he would have identified as a sign of extreme nerves had he been less nervous.

"Um...excuse me, Tsuukai, s-sir, but I was wondering if-

"Just ask me and be done with it," Tsuukai barked, making Purple jump. From inside my head, Magenta smirked.

"Um, w-what can you tell us about this Dome we are in?"

"Way to choke, genius!" Magenta yelled at Purple. Tsuukai fixed me with one of his glares and Magenta fell silent immediately. He then turned to face Purple and began to speak.

OoC : Thank ye very much, Teach. I do enjoy narrating these inner arguments. There's something about bits of someone's mind yelling at other bits that amuses me. In any case, here's the assignment. Naturally, it's first person from White's view only, so fragments are still referred to with 3rd person pronouns. But you already knew this, making that comment redundant. So why don't I edit it out? Who knows

Sorry for the wait =3

Originally Posted by MrRandom

So what happens now? I thought to myself and the other fifteen or so fragments occupying my mind as I waited for Tsuukai to speak.

Or so? xD

Beats me, replied my indifference, unsurprisingly. As if I would have expected a different answer from him

A semi-colon would work nicer, a full stop sounds odd to me. Also you forgot a period.

As I was saying, I would guess he'll give us some sort of training to match the level he observed. After all, this is meant to be a school, right?

Interesting thing here, the two things I bolded are used to make the statement "This is meant to be a school," into a question. So using both is a bit redundant. Nothing wrong, just a style thing.

Everyone looks shady to you, Blue. It's not like he has done anything wrong, so I see no reason not to trust his sense of morality. Besides which someone evidently saw fit to have him teach us.

Comma needed after which.

It was a simple discussion at first, but it threatened to blow out into another argument, which I felt sure my more sadistic side would use as an excuse to stab something. My head was still reeling after the fight, so I had to intervene before things got out of hand.

Last comma is not needed.

Mercifully, the fragment representing my anger had stayed quiet throughout this discussion. Of course, as soon as I thought too hard about his absence...

You sure like ellipses xD

Oh please. He mopped the floor with you and Red.

Semicolon or a colon would work better.

Ha! I'd like to see that,[/I] Red grumbled, drawing his greatsword and moving towards Cyan. True to his word, Cyan flicked a thin blue beam from his finger which struck Red in the chest and knocked him back into the wall.

Remove "Which Struck" into "Striking". It's not wrong what you have, however it is nicer on the eye's to use the past tense like the rest of the paragraph then the present tense...you know?

Fun! Wheeeee!

Not needed, he only has one line and it's distracting.

We know that we are located in some sort of extradimensional space where the training of particularly powerful individuals takes place.

extra dimensional...you are not allowed to make up compound words xP

"What is it you want, Purple?" He asked. Almost losing his nerve, Purple developed a sudden stutter which, had he been less nervous, he would have identified as a sign of extreme nerves.

Far to many commas.

"Just ask me and be done with it," Tsuukai barked, making Purple jump. From inside my head, Magenta smirked. "Um, w-what can you tell us about this Dome we are in?"

MAJOR ERROR! You lose ten points.(I am not saying it, you should know -_-)

OoC : Thank ye very much, Teach. I do enjoy narrating these inner arguments. There's something about bits of someone's mind yelling at other bits that amuses me. In any case, here's the assignment. Naturally, it's first person from White's view only, so fragments are still referred to with 3rd person pronouns. But you already knew this, making that comment redundant. So why don't I edit it out? Who knows

That was fun, sorry for the wait. Oh yes.

"The dome will let you know when the time comes," Tsuukai's black eye's looked bored, "Enough, I need you to do me a favor. " Tsuukai's words seemed to melt the environment, "I need you to find a teacher named Kaze," Tsuukai said as the world turned into the inky black room Tsuukai inhabited, "Then tell me where it is. This is vitally important, do whatever you need to find him but if you get caught don't let him know who sent you. Am I making myself clear?"

TRAINING:

Find kaze! As long as you want just search down my character kaze, stop when they find him. Simple right? Make it fun.

Well, before that happens, I'll fix up the small errors in the above post.

Oh, and I probably would know about your "lose ten points" error if my wits were a tad more collected right now. As it is, I seem to be assuming I'm not allowed to use "w-what"...*practically falls asleep in chair* but I'm not positive. I've read that bit over and over again, but...

Oh, and "or so" is actually a subtle hint at further plot points. Nice work picking it up ;P

EDIT: It's not the stutter, that was used earlier. So then...*looks over it again* oop! The dialog needed a new line. If that was it, I'll get to my next post as soon as is practical...*is somewhat assessment swamped*

EDIT EDIT: Yeah, not in a state particularly conductive to errorspotting or the like...I guess the different color thing made me think there was enough distinction when there wasn't. Aaaand I be talking nonsense . (Also, it was Purple and Tsuukai talking in the same paragraph =P)

MAJOR ERROR: Every time you start a new person speaks it's a new paragraph. magenta and Tsuukai where both talking in the same Paragraph xP Took you long enough to figure out xP

Take your time, Lord knows I do.