[Safer] Clark's Training

OoC: I'll try my best not to be put in a bigginer's class. I know I'm a talented writer, but its up to you. I just want to improve.

BiC: “Give it up Lao! You WILL lose this time!”

Three fighters stood still, as they faced a tall slender man, one of their biggest challenges yet.

“Stupid boy! Haven’t you learned anything yet?!” replied the tall man, “You never beat me, and you never will!!”

The three warriors stood their ground, waiting for someone to make the first move. One warrior was a 15-year-old boy named Clark. This wasn’t his first time facing the man, so he knew his power.

“Why can’t any of you see it? The age of the Mes Empire is inevitable!” the tall man said softly.

“NEVER!” cried one of the warriors, as he charged in for the kill.

“JOHN! STOP!” shouted Clark desperately.

The warrior, John, barley even came close to the tall man, before a long sword felled him.

“NOOOO!” shouted Clark, seeing his short time companion killed.

“Unbelievable...” the other warrior said under his breath, “I didn’t even see him move his arm!”

“Two more to go,” said the tall man.

Black smoke covered the area that the warriors were fighting in. It was a small village, and it was being horribly burned to the ground. There was no hope for the other villagers, for they were already dead. Clark’s remaining companion is the only one left.

The tall man, Lao, came with his small army. They attacked the village in broad daylight and slaughtered everyone. Clark, whom was temporarily working as a farmer, single handedly destroyed the army, leaving only Lao.

Lao was Clark’s mortal enemy. The two crossed swords with each other for years. Lao nearly kills Clark every time, but usually with some stroke of luck, he never dies. But Lao wasn’t going to let him get away this time. This time he swore to get rid of him for good.

“Clark, its time for you to die with the rest of that damned tribe!” shouted Loa, as he progressed closer to Clark.

“Get away!” shouted Clark’s companion, striking at Lao, this however only had the same results as John, instant death.

“No... not him too... not the entire village... not again!” Clark said slowly, his voice getting deeper.

“Oh please... your going to beast out now? Pathetic...” Lao commented.

Lao lunged at Clark and took a wild swing at him, but Clark easily dodged it. Clark’s heart began beating, his chest began pounding, bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump. He began to shiver, his expressing grew colder. Lao was right, Clark was breasting out. The thought of another entire village being destroyed caused his anger to flare up. Clark is becoming one of the forbidden beings of the Black Sun!

“GRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” shouted Clark, as his skin became living armor. His clothing became harder, his eyes went blood shot, he grew taller, and he grew small spikes on his body. Lao looked at Clark, partly terrified, more so amused.

“This thing again?” Lao said to himself, “Finally, a challenge!”

“YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” shouted Clark finally completing his transformation.

He lunged at Lao with blinding speed and began to punch the living hell out of him. POW!!! POW!! POW!! POW!! Every hit caused the ground rumble! POW!! POW!!

Lao had to use all his strength to push the crazed Clark away. Fast as lighting, Loa swung his sword in front of him, expecting Clark to have ran back to him by then. His assumption was correct, for Clark was cut and quickly jumped back. Blood dripped from the fresh wound as Clark unsheathed his strongest weapon, the Sword of the Black Sun.

“So your not invincible!” discovered Lao, as he quickly approached Clark.

Clark swung the legendary sword, creating an energy wave that not only pushed Lao back, but cut him badly. Loa jumped on the roof of a half burnt building, and cast a small holy spell. The spell hit Clark in the heart. He howled in pain as he fell to the ground, but it only kept him down temporarily.

“Of coarse, your weak against the holy ways!” Lao said happily, “I’d kill you right now, but, I’m bleeding too heavily, and I won’t take that chance! Damn it, Clark, you live again!” With that said, Lao, teleported into the sky.

“Damn!” said Clark, falling back to the ground, bleeding horribly fast. “I have to...” Clark transformed back into a full human.

The transformation slowed the bleeding a little bit, but he was still dying.

(This is funny! Lao thinks I’m going to live!) Clark thought. He had no intention of disappointing Lao, for he had to live. He had to live to see another day! He had to live to kill Lao. He had to...
-----
Clark awakened several nights later. He knew this from the half moon that covered the sky. The full moon covered it the night before Lao’s attack. Clark sat up, only to feel a large pain in his chest. He wasn’t completely healed.

Clark thought to himself, wandering how the hell did he survive. He hadn’t moved from his spot, and he didn’t feel any bandages incase a traveler might have helped him. Maybe, he’ll find out in another life, so Clark quickly cast away the thought.

Just as he did so, a large, dark, cool star appeared over the earth: Black Sun.

“Oh god, this can only mean trouble,” Clark said to himself.

The Black Sun was a rather ominous figure that plagued the world. Its powers created random events, natural or supernatural, good or evil. It was the Black Sun’s power that created the Sword of the Black Sun and the beast inside Clark’s heart, and it was it’s evil power that destroyed Clark’s clan. Noone knows when it will come, what it will do, or why it does such things, but the people do know is that the Sun rarely ever does anything good.

The Sun emitted a dark light that leads down a path. Clark raised an eyebrow, and stood up. His wounds seem to have disappeared, and his tribal clothing, which ripped and torn due to many battles, looked new and untouched. The dark light continued down the path. Clark didn’t question the Sun he just followed.

Clark walked though a swamp until the light lead him to a narrow cave. He continued by entering the cave, which was actually a tunnel, and coming out on the other side. What he saw amazed him. He saw a large golden, dome like building. His jaw dropped and he had to absorb what he saw.

“This must be it,” said Clark, “This must be The Dome! This must be it!”

In his world, The Dome was famous, for it was the greatest fighting school on the planet. Few believed in it, for it was hidden from the rest of the world. It was also in The Dome, that Lao learned how to fight.

Clark eagerly ran into the building. He felt as soon as we walked through the door, that he somehow lost connection with his own world, and stepped into a new one. Clark looked around again. The room he walked into was huge. It was filled with paintings, obviously warriors. He was so busy looking around that he didn’t pay attention to where he was going. He bumped into a person.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Clark apologized quickly.
“It’s fine, you’re obviously new here, my name is Tokomaru Kyô.”

Three words:

Too. Many. Punctuations. But don't worry, we'll work on this. Also, as much as I love power playing, you CAN'T power play unless you read through the other person's character's personality, located in their character's profile. Tokumaru, for instance, does not exclaim much. But I'll cut you some slack. ^^;

Anyway, I'd put you in Beginner but you have a basic grasp of grammar and paragraph formation. Just work on NEVER having more than one puncutation in your work (the exception being "?!" and "..."). And, spell check. Grammar check. Gaah. But don't just rely on Word's grammar check. IT IS SUCKY. Read through your work before posting.

Move onto the pre lesson. Welcome to the Intermediate class.

OoC: Too many pronunciations? Must be the exclamation marks, yeah there’s a lot of exclaiming in my fights so, sorry.

BiC: “Toko-whoso?” Clark asked scratching his head, “Those Chinese names get to me.”

“Tokumaru.” The man replied softly, “And it’s Japanese.”

“Oh, meh…” Chark shrugged.

Tokumaru ignored Clark’s unintended rudeness, and began to observe him. What he seen was a young child with hair beginning to grow past his shoulders. His hair looked as though it was beginning to lock and become dreads, that shown that the boy hasn’t taken proper care of his hair in a while. The boy wore a long green cloak with many unfamiliar symbols on it. But the things that caught Tokumaru’s eye, where the two swords that Clark carried: a katana, and a blade on his back that emitted a strange miasma.

"You fight with a katana?" Tokumaru asked.

"A what?"

Tokumaru pointed to the sword with the bent end.

"Oh... thats what you call this sword? I had no idea, I just fought with it, I never learned about it."

"Oh, I'll have to tell you it's Japanese heritage later, but what about that one?" Tokumaru asked pointing to the larger sword, "I feel... darkness and light emitting from that blade."

"Oh... this sword is special, it's the Blade of the Black Sun."

"Black Sun?"

"Extremely long story...Do you mind if a ask you about some food? You get hungry after a small coma,” said Clark as he rubbed his stomach.

“Food? I’ll see what I can do. I have to go and arrange you a room anyway, since you seem like your here to stay,” answered Tokumaru, questioning the boy’s last comment. “Oh, forgive my rudeness, but what is your name?”

“Clark, Clark Omega.”

"Clark? Nice to meet you."

The samurai left the room for only about three minutes and quickly returned.

“How odd,” Tokumaru began, “It seems as though the other teachers where expecting you. They have already arranged a room and meal for you.”

Clark paused, “How could they be expecting me? I wasn’t even expecting to come here.”

“Even I do not yet understand the powers of the Dome, but I haven’t seen it's decisions fail yet.”

“I have, his name is Lao.”

“Lao?” asked Tokumaru as they were walking, “I think I heard that name before.”

“He was a student here,” Clark said.

Clark hung his head as he walked.

“What about you?” asked Clark quickly perking back up, “Are you training too?”

“I’m a teacher,” Tokumaru replied, “and I think you’re in my class.

Clark should have known he was a teacher. The samauri clothing, his sword, even his facial expressions signaled a powerful warrior, and... angel wings? Was Tokumaru an angel? And just how powerful was he? Could he destroy Lao? Or could he even destroy the beast of the Black Sun?

“Nah!” said Clark, answering his own questions.

“Huh?” asked Tokumaru.

“Nothing, just thinking to myself.”

The two arrived at a small building just outside of the Dome. It was nothing special, just a small square brick building.

“Don’t worry about how it looks on the outside, there's always something different on the inside,” Tokumaru said as he gave him his key.

"What is that? An analogy?" asked Clark.

"If you want," Tokumaru replied, "The Dome is what people make of it, if people believe its hell, thats what it becomes. However, even though many people think different of it, it's purpose remains the same."

"What's that?"

"To create a warrior and and bring them peace. Well, Farewell Clark," concluded Tokumaru as began to walk off.

“That’s it? Well whatever, see you around Toku…ma..ru, I think that’s your name.”

“Yes, Tokumaru,” he replied as he walked towards the main building.

Clark watched as the man walk back into the building. He could tell that the man was different, and that he had some special story, but he’ll ask later.

EXCELLENT. You got Tokumaru's personality perfect. Couldn't've done it better myself.

And just a word of the wise, nothing that you're doing wrong, but I felt you should know: The BA Council, in a sense, are all the headmasters of the Dome. The Dome is a strange place, so strange in fact that the Headmasters themselves don't know how they arrived. This is why we refer to them as teachers instead of Headmasters, becasue truth be told they have no more control over the Dome than anyone else in it.

You've done a very good job, I'm proud of you. Continue on with Lesson one. ^^

BiC: Clark placed the key in the keyhole and turned the knob. To his surprise the door was already open. Clark pushed the door open and walked in.

He sat down and sighed. He looked around the room to see that Tokumaru was right, literally. From what you seen outside, you would have thought the room would be small and dark. It however looked like a hotel suite. It was a small living room with a nice velvet sofa. It was filled with gold colored lamps and a beautiful painting of a young woman. The room had a small seperate area, with a queen sized bed.

"Oh my gosh... this is going to be awsome..." Clark said to himself.

He took another look around to find the one thing the room didn't have, a washroom. He quickly jumped up and looked through the nearby window. He saw a small yellow building just a few yards away from his room. It must have been an outhouse.

"Correction, this is going to be nice."

The boy's stomach growled. He looked through his room, but didn't find any food.

"I guess they don't have any room service around here..." he thought to himself, "Looks like I got to go to find some for myself."

The boy put down his weaponry and walked outside. He walked across the large feild toward, the main building of the Dome, taking notice of one of his neighboors. He was a large man that walked into the room right next to his. The man didn't look like a real warrior due to his chubbiness, however Clark didn't feel like asking him at the moment.

The inside of the Dome looked like a large mansion in some areas, and a great castle in others. The hall he was in had plush red carpet, posted up suits of armor, and flags with symbols Clark had never seen. The building had so many twists and corners that he wondered if he would ever learn his way.

It seemed pretty empty. Clark only seen a few students passing every few minutes. A girl about the age of 17 passed by Clark. The girl gave Clark no mind, but he, however, took a look at her nice "features." He desided that he would have to visit a girl's room one of these days.

He passed into a large round room. The room had a large statue of a warrior in the middle of it. The room also had several doors with a painting on the top of them. Clark spotted red colored double doors. The painting on top of it shown a bright red lizardman. The lizard man was obviously a warrior, for it held a short sword and a sheild. Clark concluded that every statue or painting here must be of a Dome graduate.

"I wonder what's in that room," Clark thought to himself, "Hopefully the kitchen."

Clark quickly walked to the red double doors, opened one, and walked inside.

OoC: Edited! But I like the Moon-Pie character, maybe i'll make him a BA character, but not too soon. Also, you see I created an outhouse and added more to the dome. Not too much cause my imagination sort of failed me.

O_o;;;;....

College = Different than the Dome. No roommates. ^_^. Also, there are no assorted gender-organized rooms. When someone new enters the Dome, a room appears randomly somewhere within it. Anyway, you're getting better. I'll have to ask, though, that you edit your post, removing the roommate parts. Replace the empty space with describing your room.

Unless of course you absolutely HAVE to have the roommate and your character's future in the Dome depends on him. Other than that, out he goes. Oh, and don't wait up; after you finish editing, go ahead and move onto lesson two. You don't have to let me know that you've edited, I'll know when you post the next lesson.

Anyway, I'll read your story as long as you read mine.

Clark fell on the hard dirt ground after he missed an expected step. He lifted his head off the ground and wiped the dirt off of it. He looked around and discovered that this was definitely not the kitchen.

"How in all the world did I get in here?!" he asked himself, looking at the mountain in the far part of the "room."

The sky was red and the air was humid. He broke a sweat just standing in the room. Normally, Clark would say, "screw this" and walk away, but after seeing a shining light on a platform hovering above the mountain, he thought different. He bcame curious and decided to figure out what the light was.

BBOOOOM!!!!!

Clark looked at the mountain, and seen that it wasn't a mountain at all! It was an active volcano!

"Aw hell!" he said as he watched lava gush from the volcano's peak.

The boy always misses important things like that when he becomes focused on something. The steam and the cloud ring that appeared at the peak never made its way into his mind until now. However, this did not stop his curiosity, and continued to progress toward the volcano.

He walked, closer and closer. Each step provided Clark with nostalgia. A longing for his clan. Clark's clan, the Mes lived in the mountains and because of that, scaling the volcano would be no problem for him. But still, he missed the Mes, and hated the man who destroyed families in its name, Lao.

Lao was once a member of Clark's clan. He was banished for murder. Clark never found out the exact details of it, for he was only a small boy at the time, but he remembered his hateful eyes. Lao hasn't changed since that day, it's even possible that he became worst.

Clark sighed. It wasn't Lao that he hated the most. It was that cursed Black Sun. It was that evil star that destroyed his clan. He grinded his teeth when he thought about the event.

Clark was only 6 years old, surviving alone in a mountain that looks similar to the volcano. It was his last month, and he would be heading home soon. That all changed when the Black Sun rose into the air. The Black Sun caused a natural disaster. A rockslide and a flood. Clark was never there to see the event with his own eyes, however, when he found that his village was replaced with a lake, he understood what happened.

Clark arrived at the foot of the volcano. A single boulder fell and burst beside him, but it didn't faze him at all. He looked towards the top; it was much taller then when he first saw it.

"This should be easy!" Clark thought to him, "Let's get started!"

Har. Move on to lesson three. Then we're gonna do something different.

OoC: Something different? I wonder what it is.

BiC: Clark dashed across the base of the mountain. As he done so, debris form the resent eruption fell to the ground. It was nothing special to the boy. He experienced many rockslides worse than this in his younger days.

Crash! Crash!

The best thing for him to do would be to find some protection from the rocks, or at least a safer path that wasn’t so steep. Clark looked around, keeping aware of the falling rocks. He spotted a near by tunnel, and ran to it, slipping and falling on a rock on the way.

When he finally got inside the cave, he had a small scrape on his knee. It was one that didn’t look like much, but was painful. This was going to make Clark's climb slightly more difficult.

Clark peeped outside the cave. The rocks fell more frequently, signaling the ones at the end of the eruption. The volcano was extremely steep. Eventually he wound have to literally climb other than walk. Clark only wished he had his equipment to make the climb slightly easier.

Five minutes passed and the rocks finally stopped falling. Clark sped outside and grabbed on to a bright red wall. Clark grabbed onto it, and immediately let go. The wall was scortching hot, which signaled that the wall was a thin barrier between the outside and the lava.

“Crap, I have to find another path,” Clark said to himself, looking at his hand.

Clark slowly walked around the volcano, checking for paths that he could walk or climb. He gotten a small distance up the mountain before he walked on more trouble: breaking rocks.

“Double crap!” Clark said as the floor cracked.

The boy had to move quickly. If he stood still the floor would collapse. Clark ran quickly and cautiously. The rocks cracked on every step. As soon as he found that there was nowhere else to run, he leaped on the wall. Luckily, the wall was warm and not hot.

“I just hope these rock don’t break,” Clark said to himself as he climbed.

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!

“Aw triple crap!” Clark complained, “I’m starting to think that this volcano doesn’t like me!”

Lava and rocks began to fall from the surface. The one thing Clark wasn’t use too was fast action climbing. Clark’s knee began to sting at that time. He looked down to find out he strapped it again, now it was bleeding.

Crash!

Clark looked back up to see a boulder rolling straight at him. Using skill and luck, Clark swung across the wall, careful not to scrape any other part of his body. The giant boulder passed him quickly. Clark sighed in relief and began climbing again.

He was near the top when the lava began to pour down the mountain. It was a quadrupale crap, as he began climbing even faster. He had to find a ledge sticking out from the mountain, or else he would die.

His eyes franticly scanned the mountain, and he found exactly what he needed. It was a small narrow ledge, just across from his goal. Clark moved as quickly as he could, and the lava continued to get closer and closer. It passed the ledge, and Clark was unable to continue. But the boy took a chance and leap onto the ledge, narrowly missing the lava.

Now his only challenge was to get to the platform.The lava, however, blocked his path to the top. Clark had 2 choices, wait for the lava to finish, with would take an unpredictable amount of time, or jump. He chose the latter. He leaped an amazing distance of 12 yards and landed on top of the platform.

“Thank god!” Clark said to himself, finding that the platform was much more stable than the mountain.

The platform was white with several large tiles. It had trees growing in a few of the tiles, making he platform look as though it was a small park. Clark looked at the shining object, which was a small chipped dagger. The dagger had a jeweled base, and writing to the blade. He however couldn’t decipher the writing for it was in another language.

“A well prize!” Clark smiled, “I could pawn that thing for a stupid amount of money!”

Clark grabbed the dagger, and a blinding white light appeared around him. When the light disappeared, the boy opened his eyes to see that he was in his room.

Now, for something so fun you'll bleed apple juice from your eye sockets!

Go back, and grammar check (PERSONALLY, NOT WITH WORD) all your assignments up to date.

A hint on things to watch out for: Possessives (his, hers, their, etc), punctuation, incorrect appostraphe placement (saying "there were many bear's" instead of "there were many bears"), and all sorts of things. When you're done, post in this thread saying so.

Done. I added a lot of pronouns, changed around a few sentences and took alot of the punctations out of the first post. I didn't realise I made so many mistakes.

Aye. Move onto Lesson Four. Be sure to check everything you write before posting. That's why I had you do that. ^^

*poke*

Move on, d00d.