Jack Apundo (Apundo is derived from the African names "APUDO", meaning "fat one", and APUNDA, a female name meaning "Donkey" or "Ass") Nicknames/Titles: Self-Given: The Amazing Jack, The Drunken Fury, Explosion Extraordinaire, "I AM UGHggghuuagh..." (I am unsure if this last one is a self-given title or just a noise he makes while drunk, during "expulsions" of his alcohol. However, he tends to say it more than once). People-Given: Idiot, Drunk, Blemish on Society, "That Jerk Who Blew Up My House". Occupation: Demolitions Expert (Self-Given occupation) Age/Birthdate: 43 years of age, July 30th Gender: Male Race: Human Height: 5' 4" (1.32 meters) Weight: 200 lbs (91 Kg, BMI: 34.3) Eye Color: Brown Hair Color/Style: Black, long and scraggly, very messy.
General Appearance: Jack is an obese man, with protruding stomach and larger-than-average breasts. His skin-color is tan (perhaps from walking aimlessly out in the sun too long). He is a very hairy man, with hair covering his chest, stomach, arms, legs, and face. He has average-length arms and legs, with big feet and hands and stubby, fat fingers and toes. His fingernails and toenails are usually dirty and unkempt. Most of his skin is usually rough and his palms have the touch of sandpaper. He is apparently slightly muscular, as he has been seen to lift heavy things.
His face is round, with a heavy-set jaw, and much facial hair; mustache, beard, and sideburns all unshaven. The sides of his face are shaved occasionally, and there is usually an ample amount of stubble protruding from these areas. He has a round nose. Teeth are slightly crooked, and yellow. He has thin lips and a very wide smile. He has wide, round eyes that seem to be glassy and glazed most of the time due to inebriation. He also has thick bushy eyebrows and a wrinkly forehead.
When Jack walks, he usually sways from side to side. His sinuses are strangely runny most of the time, so he usually sniffs a lot and brings his hand up to wipe his nose (as you can imagine, it is rarely washed) and his eyes are sometimes watery. Jack has horribly bad breath, but he conveniently covers the smell with alcohol. It doesn't succeed most of the time. In fact, Jack's entire body usually smells of alcohol, and because he only bathes every few days, he also stinks of sweat. Jack talks with a cockney accent, and usually slurs his words; Jack is not very good with annunciation or articulation, and his usual drunkenness does not help with the matter. His voice is rough and bass in tone.
Jack's usual clothing consists of a dirty white linen shirt stretched over his large belly, a pair of brown, heavy-cotton pants, a pair of dark brown moccasins, and a soft-leather brown vest. His underwear is linen (I can promise this is all you want to know).
Weapon(s): Jack sees his fighting style as his greatest weapon, but he usually carries around a small explosive or two, just in case anyone needs help blowing something up (they usually don't; Jack sometimes does this mis-conceiving "no's" as "yes"). These explosives are secondary explosives and can usually be stored with ease. They are lit with a fuse, and Jack usually carries around a small matchbook for lighting them.
Armor: Jack views his "aura" as the only armor he ever needs. People are usually repelled by this aura, and his offenders usually have a hard time hitting him as they are distracted by it.
(Note: They are actually distracted by his enormous stink and sometimes his disgusting looks.)
Carried Possessions: Jack carries around a small matchbook, usually with around 20 matches inside. He almost always has a bottle of gin in his hand, his favorite drink, but this is sometimes replaced by rum, his second favorite.
Powers/Magic/Skills: Drunken-Fighting Style: Jack views his drunken-fighting as second to none. He believes himself to be a drunken-fighting master, and sometimes calls himself the "Drunken Fury" because of it. It is a lost art that consists of wobbling and weaving sloppily around your foe, when in reality this is just a ruse to distract them. Instead, you strike them while they are confused by your stance. Limits: Jack does not have a limit to his drunken-fighting skills. He only needs the use of alcohol, which is almost always on hand. Also, he isn't really a drunken-fighting master. When he does fight, he almost always misses the foe, unless they are unintelligent enough not to dodge, and even then, he hardly throws a hard punch capable of damage. Also, most of the fights he conceived as wins were usually in his drunken state, and while he believes he fought a difficult battle, he actually is usually passed out on the ground
Mind-Reading: Jack has the self-realized capability of reading people's minds. He can hear every thought that crosses a person's mind while he is close to them. This is restricted only to an individual person. He sees it as a wonderful gift, and an asset in battle. Limits: You probably guessed this, but Jack can't really read minds. Actually, while having conversations with people in a fully drunken state, he is unable to match up words with the movements of the mouth, and falsely perceives it as a telepathic communication. While fairly sober, however, he actually thinks up these telepathic messages himself, believing himself to be able to sense other's thoughts. When others try to convince him against this, he believes them to be lying.
Golden Beam: While drunken-fighting, Jack is able to emit a golden beam of energy from his body; The foe must be at least 5 feet away from Jack in order to experience the full effectiveness of this move. This move can stun an enemy, and cause them to faint from mere exposure to it. It is a dangerous move and Jack can only use it in his drunken state. Limits: The above really is not the most accurate description of this technique, only Jack's perception of it. A more accurate description can be found here.
The Multi-Beam: Jack's ultimate move, he emits a violent beam of energy from his mouth, before uttering the words of his secret title: "I AM..." ...? For some reason, the violent utterance of these words causes him to use this technique, for he is not allowed to utter his true name to others. It is only a last resort move, as afterwards Jack passes out from using up too much of his energy. Limits: It doesn't take a huge imagination to figure out what this is. A more accurate description can be found in the "Nicknames / Titles" section. If you still do not understand what this is, then I can tell you you probably don't want to know.
Battle Strengths: Jack is a self-proclaimed master of the martial arts; He is deadly in combat (no) and has extensive training in the art of Drunken Fighting. Also, the explosives he carries (self-made sticks of TNT) are very dangerous in battle. Battle Weaknesses: None of his proclamations or views on his offensive ability are true. Except he is pretty good at making dynamite, which is perhaps unfortunate. His only real defense is his putrid smell, and this is probably more effective than you would think.
Personality: Jack is a complete and utter drunk. He drinks every day of the week, and most of the time he is in an inebriated state. He believes himself to be a great person and an asset to the world, and a very attractive and intelligent man; unfortunately, the opposite is probably true. He always stands up for his friends, in any situation... ...okay, he doesn't have friends, but if he DID, he would stand up for them. Probably. The closest thing Jack has to friends are the people he sells his explosives to. Jack takes pride in his explosives (really, it's about the only thing he can do correctly) and sells them to many customers, allowing him to make fairly good money. However, Jack picks his clients carefully; if Jack sees them as criminals or bad men, he refuses their business. Jack takes pride in his ability to since the evil intentions in people. Which is, of course, non-existent. He usually ends up selling them to bandits and robbers, who use them to raid towns and cause commotion. Jack does make money from this though, which he spends wisely; on alcohol. His favorite drink is Gin, and is almost all he ever drinks. When he feels like switching it up a little, he buys rum. Jack views drunkenness as a different world view, one that is superior and greater than the state of an average man. This is, of course, a false assumption, and Jack's alcoholism is actually probably what causes him to have the delusions he experiences on the rare occasions he is sober. Jack is not a procrastinator, and is not lazy; he is actually quite self-motivated. Unfortunately this does more harm than good, as if he was lazy then he wouldn't create bombs and sell them to criminals.
Likes: Alcohol, creating explosives, and reading minds. Dislikes: People disagreeing with him, yelling (he enjoys yelling, just not people yelling at him), the "inferior" state of sobriety. Vices: His existence is frowned upon by anyone he meets.
A new character I am creating, not as a "gag", but as a comic relief character. Give your critique (through VM; I'm not sure but I believe posting a reply in this thread is prohibited). If he's popular I may submit him for approval by a counselor as a "full character". =) This will of course be after I have written much more with my main character (Gavyn Whitethorne, linked in my signature).
Please give critique and/or things I can fix up with him. Also, this character may only be controlled by myself unless I give explicit permission.
Former member of the SEGA Justice League and Sonic Forum celebrity. Adopted by: Melpomene Characters for the Escapist's Haven: [Gavyn Whitethorne] NPCs for the Escapist's Haven: [Jack Apundo]