My poems

[TriforcemanNick]

"My Winter"

My cold hands grasp her face as my tears speak for my pain,
I look dull as my lips tremble,
On this October my October,
Its hard to say so hard to say that I bleed for my mistakes,
My hands fall from your face my lips suudenly stop, my tears now increase,
On this soft snow I leave you with my love for heals all to you I say good bye to you.....


"Her voice"

Her voice so chilling,
her voice so soft,
for when I heard it I felt sudden pain,
I now see her true image for she only wanted what could be unamed,
She lied she beg,'She left me in the dark,
All she wanted was some one to call love,
All she wanted was a life with out love

[Sue-Lyn]

That's really pretty ^ ^ There are so many good poets on here thumbs up!

[TriforcemanNick]

Heh thanks

[GarmGarf]

My recommendations would be to tidy up your poetry. You have spelling mistakes ("suudenly"), punctuation mistakes (the fourth line of the first poem should be "It's"), and you didn't keep the first word capitilized of each line in the second poem (generally, all first words in each line are capitilized, or all of them are not (unless for another reason in specific cases, for example, a proper noun, or the start of a new sentence) in poetry). You have my apologies if that was intentional, but I don't recognize the intended effect caused, if so.

[TriforcemanNick]

Thats how Mrs. Moseley taught me. Although, she is pretty misunderstanding some times. I will clean up. I will ask her to help me with it.

[Sue-Lyn]

I wish I was taught poetry, the ones I wright are pretty disgraceful

[TriforcemanNick]

Originally Posted by Sue-Lyn

I wish I was taught poetry, the ones I wright are pretty disgraceful

I'v wrote about a lot of things. Pain, love, hate, fighting, friends, girlfriend, a lot of things........

[GarmGarf]

I avoid writing love poems. They are too easy to write, but too hard to master.

Go for something abstract. That way, there is a lower chance that your poem has been wrote before.

[TriforcemanNick]

I usally write poems on society. Latly I don;t know. But people wanted these painful poems. Or love...... I usally write em on war aswell. I'll write just about any thing.

[GarmGarf]

My poems are usually about religion, the afterlife, magic, philosophy and some are just a play on poetry themselves.

I actually possess no access to most of the poetry I have written in the past. For all I know, all record of it could be destroyed. The three possible archives of my poetry are: on a floppy disk; in a computer; and printed. My sister has the floppy disk, and I sent her on a mission to transfer the data onto e-mail or CD (my PC can't take floppy disks). However, I don't know if the data was successful sent to the floppy disk or not, so that could just be false hope. The PC which I composed the poetry on was my cousin's, and I have since returned it. I can only hope that he hasn't deleted the poetry. And the poetry I composed was for a school project, so my teacher may still possess the presented copy I gave him.

[TriforcemanNick]

Originally Posted by GarmGarf

My poems are usually about religion, the afterlife, magic, philosophy and some are just a play on poetry themselves.

I actually possess no access to most of the poetry I have written in the past. For all I know, all record of it could be destroyed. The three possible archives of my poetry are: on a floppy disk; in a computer; and printed. My sister has the floppy disk, and I sent her on a mission to transfer the data onto e-mail or CD (my PC can't take floppy disks). However, I don't know if the data was successful sent to the floppy disk or not, so that could just be false hope. The PC which I composed the poetry on was my cousin's, and I have since returned it. I can only hope that he hasn't deleted the poetry. And the poetry I composed was for a school project, so my teacher may still possess the presented copy I gave him.

I save all mine to a file on my PC that requires a pass word. That was no one can delete or see. I kinda keep it from my little bro and sis, and some times my parents. You also should have sent it to your e-mail if he/she had an enternet connection.

[GarmGarf]

Originally Posted by TriforcemanNick

I save all mine to a file on my PC that requires a pass word. That was no one can delete or see. I kinda keep it from my little bro and sis, and some times my parents. You also should have sent it to your e-mail if he/she had an enternet connection.

I told him to email it to me, but it's his old PC, so he might have not set it up yet.

[TriforcemanNick]

Originally Posted by GarmGarf

I told him to email it to me, but it's his old PC, so he might have not set it up yet.

I still have my old PC. I can't get enternet. I have to use my dad computer because mine is so old.