Tree Haiku

[trimph forks]

Even though I'm gone
I know that I am still there
I am still a tree

[Layton]

Beautiful.
*cries*
XD good job I like it, you definately have talent in writing poetry.

[trimph forks]

Thanks alot!*cries, too* I never thought my work would be so appreciated.

[rayburn]

I like Haikus. I have a book full of them that I wrote but there lame.

[Lady Fay]

aww..this is very good..
*watches you two cry*
. . .*criesalso*
I-its so wonderfull!!^_^

Yes, i think its amazing!

[icybreeze]

*Watches everyone*

ACHEM weirdos .. .Lawl

*Gives tissue*
STOP CRYING *Laughs at everyone crying*

Nah it is like so not amazing ^^
and umm its kinda ok ^^


*See's mods coming AHHAHAHA *

*Runs away*

[trimph forks]

Originally Posted by icybreeze

*Watches everyone*

ACHEM weirdos .. .Lawl

*Gives tissue*
STOP CRYING *Laughs at everyone crying*

Nah it is like so not amazing ^^
and umm its kinda ok ^^


*See's mods coming AHHAHAHA *

*Runs away*

Yes, denke schoen. (Thanks alot in German.):glare

[Kouten]

Can you explain it? There's little to go on here. Is it that, "hey, paper is still a tree" or is it, "it's fall and the color of the trees have vanished, yet they stand"? Or are you referring to its lifecycle? I just don't get it, and that might be my fault.

What I think...it's too awkward. It fits the syllable rule for haiku and yet it just doesn't flow, especially the second line. Also, there's nothing literally beautiful about it. Where's the brief, yet vibrant sensory words or phrases? Any poem should bring you there. Details! But don't get down. Haiku are often the most difficult type of poem to write.

[Sailboat]

...what?

Got to Haiku school.

[icybreeze]

HAHAH no problem

[William]

haiku's show no talent.

what-so-ever

if you want to test your skills, write a sonnet or a sestina. Those will bring out the best in you.

[Sue-Lyn]

that was very nice, and calming ^_^

[Kouten]

Originally Posted by icehockeygoalie

haiku's show no talent.
what-so-ever

What makes you say that? Haiku show great talent, but, as this one demonstrates, they are so rarely done well. How does a sonnett require any more talent than a haiku? Structure doesn't make the poem, if that's what you're referring to.

In fact, haiku are some of the hardest poems to write. You only have three lines of five-seven-five in syllables, you have to display clear, thought-provoking imagery within a deeply metaphoric theme or idea, and you must include some seasonal reference that ties to the haiku. The last part I mentioned is a commonly neglected factor of a haiku, but it's still necessary.



Trimph Forks:

I doubt most poets would consider this a haiku. No offense man, but I'm guessing it took very little time or effort to come up with this, and it shows. The best thing you can do when starting to write poetry is to write free-verse. Don't limit yourself to a set structure. Write what comes naturally, and then creatively build upon your work, organizing the stanzas, the meter, the rhyme-scheme, all of it to connect and strengthen your poems. Everything should work to benefit the poem and make it as beautiful, fluent, and unique as possible.

[Layton]

thanks for the tissue,
And yeah, not eeryone can just, writ a haiku off the top of their head:

I am white
White I am,
Yes, I'm white

was that good?
You have to put time and thought into poetry.

[William]

it would be terrible. But it is horrible, because that's not even a haiku

Edit: And I suggested a sonnet inferring that it would show more talent out of this person. No matter how hard you try, there are only several million different ways for meaning to appear in a haiku. Even less so if it is about, or features, nature or seasons. Now with a sonnet, there are fourteen lines of thought that can feature trillions of different messages AND it can show-case the authors ability to come up with a rhyming scheme of ab,ab,cd,cd,ef,ef,gg and make it still make a bit of sense. Plus, it's longer, which is always better.

[Kouten]

Originally Posted by icehockeygoalie

No matter how hard you try, there are only several million different ways for meaning to appear in a haiku. Even less so if it is about, or features, nature or seasons.

A haiku concerns nature. A sonnet concerns love. This is simply the subject of each type of poem, and both are very broad ideas. In this sense, a haiku isn't limited any more than a sonnet is, simply by its focus.

Originally Posted by icehockeygoalie

Plus, it's longer, which is always better.

Not always. Length does contribute to the range of possibilities but only slightly, really. Besides: a good poet can fit more meaning and emotion into a three-line poem than a poor poet can in a 50-line poem.

[William]

exactually, and what I am saying is this poet is poor, and if not, i'd like to see if they could produce a longer poem, and I used a sonnet as an example.

[ZeldaMaster#1#1]

I liked this Haiku. I LIKED IT. I hate poetry, too!

Maybe you could expand your skill and make a several Haiku poem. Early Japanese poet's used to make them, and it works. It also makes it easier to make the poem give off what the subject is, and releases the image clearer.

[Kouten]

Originally Posted by ZeldaMaster#1#1

I liked this Haiku. I LIKED IT. I hate poetry, too!

Maybe you could expand your skill and make a several Haiku poem. Early Japanese poet's used to make them, and it works. It also makes it easier to make the poem give off what the subject is, and releases the image clearer.

Are you referring to a "cahin" of haiku? Yes, those are beautiful and impressive, but I think one should walk before running.

Trimph Forks:

Keep trying and write more; that's the only way to improve.

[trimph forks]

Originally Posted by Layton

thanks for the tissue,
And yeah, not eeryone can just, writ a haiku off the top of their head:

I am white
White I am,
Yes, I'm white

was that good?
You have to put time and thought into poetry.

Well, you didn't get the number of syllables right. And I guess I did put some thought into this one... it's just that my subconscious self is horrible at writing poetry. Yes, people, I wanted to see what would happen if I put a poem from a dream out on the Internet, aren't I horrible? XD Yeah, there was this singing tree, it was weird, but then my parents managed to convince me that they liked it.... Maybe I shoulda told you guys, but I didn't just in case your judgement was affected. Glad som people still liked it, though. I promise that I won't do anything like this again. Especially if it's because my parents were good liars.