Songs written by me

[zelda1994]

Ok. This one is neither finished nor named but I accept coments and suggestions please:

Sometimes I get so angry with myself
I tend to trap myself
And hide the feelings that I felt, so long ago

I really want to tell you how I feel,
But everytime I talk to you,
Then I forget,
You make me feel so weird, when you look at me

I wrote your name,
a thousand million times,
but its up to you too decide

chorus
..........

I, wrote your name with the stars but the day took it away
I, wrote your name in the sand But the waevs washed it away
I really need to find a way,
so that your name will always stay, uh, so that your name will always stay


You dont seem to care of what I say,
Youre only joking with your friends,
But what can I do if my love is blind,
You make me laugh and make me cry at the same time

I wrote your name,
athousand million times,
but its up to you, to decide,

chorus
...........
I wrote your name with the stars but the say took it away
I, wrote your name in the sand but the waves washed it away
I really need to find a way,
so that your name will always stay, uh, so that your name will always,

now I wrote your name in the board, and the teacher got it erased,
but then I wrote it in my heart, and now forever it will stay,

chorus x 2

oh, and now our name will always stay,
and now forever it will stay

hope u liked it. I made it in school. It is more less a ballad with the piano. If I ever get a video of me singing it and playing it on youtube ill tell you guys. I also wll not post more witouth comments...

[KRSplat]

Nice job. The chorus stands out to me; I like how you connected the names with the imagery of the stars and sand and sky (although we've all heard it before). You could work on your word choice, as the vocabulary is a bit plain. Mix in some more interesting words to keep it fresh.

[zelda1994]

Thank you for the constructive comment. That was what I was looking for. Ok, Ill try to change the lyrics a bit. Ill maybe add another song later.

[Stallord Knight]

I see you wrote this with alot of meaning and I really did enjoy reading it, but I do agree with KRSplat. You words are too plain and a little boring. If you can't find any good words to use, I suggest you use a dictionary or a thesaurus. Think it out a bit more. Tch, look at me talking, my work is no better than yours. Anyways, write some more. I'm interested to see what you can come up with.

[zelda1994]

Thanks for the comments. Ill try to write with more sophisticated words next time but for now, ill post one I wrote in school last week.
Everytime you look at me, I feel so weird
I loose my way, and my mind flies away,
You must not let me escape, but be careful,cause I can brake.

What can I say,
Cause you drive me crazy. You are in my dreams all nights,
you are haunting me, and it feels so right.
I will never forget you, no matter where you are.
You will always be here, ill keep you safe in my heart.

chorus
**********
I would love to be the rain,just to fall on your head.
I would love to the wind, to whisper to your ear.
oh, how much I love you, and I wished you did too....


Its hard to believe, I have fallen in love,
after so many promises, I wouldnt do so.
But you got me blind, then stole my heart,

you did come in, and tre the key,
now only you can come in...

chorus X1

You made me invent my own fairytale,
In wich I could feel love.
But you took it away, so fast I cant explain.
Do you love me or not? I just dont know.

Chorus X1

[Tenshi_Hyoeyu]

i love your songs. they just have some meaning of truth and rightness. keep writing, your really good.

[zelda1994]

Originally Posted by Tenshi_Hyoeyu

i love your songs. they just have some meaning of truth and rightness. keep writing, your really good.

Thank you Sorry guys, these are taking a while to post since I keep them hidden

heres another one. This is not finished and its not as good as the last ones but the ideas appear depending on my mood and bimestral week is not exactly a happy one..


you lent me your wings when I couldn fly
taught me to stand up in this life
you made my day when I couldnt smile,
you seem to come straight from the skies..

bridge
you give me strenght to move on,
to stand up stand up when I fall,
your smile gets me soaring to the sky


Chorus

When im with you , I swear I can fly,
cause you take my hand and make me smile
you came so fast I cant believe,
where have you been this last years?

when you taught me fairytales are real,
you really taught me to believe,
you gave me your friendship, just like that

too bad for me, that I fell in love,
after those long years, of being alone.
but you dont seem to mind

CHORUS x1

[Okami Wolfen]

That last one was amazing.

"you lent me your wings when i couldn't fly."

[zelda1994]

ok this ones new. Sorry for taking so long! Its because im really mixed up right now

its not worth to cry, when no ones there to hold your hand,
its not worth it to love someone that will never love you back.
i dont think, this things will change with time...

now my eyes have begun to see.
and somthing else has come to me,
that maybe it wasnt love at all,
maybe it was just a simple crush..
because i dont know what else to feel,
and just maybe, we are not meant to be.


chorus:
and maybe, youre not right to be in my dreams,
cause you are not the one,
and time cannot change that,
because shadows, will never beat the light.

i wasted too much time daydreaming,
i forgot who i really was
but time has come to fix my mind.

chorus X1

i cant pretend, youll take the pain away,
because it has come to stay.

[Diaz]

Wow! Your songs are amazing! They really get to me, specially the last one. I guess I can really connect to it because I have suffer from love...

its not worth to cry, when no ones there to hold your hand,
its not worth it to love someone that will never love you back.

That is so right. I agree.

Well your songs are great as they are. They are short and true, they talk about feelings and how a person feels when it love. I have nothing else to say, but keep it up!!

[zelda1994]

Thank you! Sorry for the delay, here is a new one called " i fell in love with our friendship"

I dont know whats wrong with me,
now i can barely concentrate in class,
i pass the day, daydreaming about your eyes.

It was not like this before,
and if what I think is true,
then my feelings changed for you

Chorus:

I fell in love,
with a friendship we had from long ago.
I fell in love,
without asking or expecting for.
And I dont know if I can change it,
or if I even want to revert it,
cause I fell in love with our friendship, boy.

But the worst part for me is,
that I odnt know how you feel,
I dont know what to believe.

But I wont pretend its not real,
its to strong just to be hid

chorusX2 fade

[Tazryl]

I find them a bit... boring. I liked your first one. Now I suppose they may be great. But personally I find them boring.

It all seems to come down to someone loving another person but at a distance. I get the impression that the person the dude loves is oblivious to it. Which I find to be more or less boring. Its not the first time the concept has been done. Hell look at the show Smallville. most of the show seemed to have Clark daydreaming about him and Lana. It got stale real fast.

I am not the proper person to give critique about songs and such, but I probably wouldnt be a fan. The whole depressing love concept is just boring.

[zelda1994]

hmm okay. I have been trying to make different kinds of songs but these are just the ones that keep getting into my head. Sorry if its boring.

[Diaz]

Originally Posted by Tazryl

The whole depressing love concept is just boring.

Well I believe songs are written the way the person is feeling at that time. If she was feeling that at the time she wrote the song, then thats the concept the song will be playing... Depresion, sadness, happiness, and so on.

Zelda I really like your songs. I guess they are a bit touching to me, because I have felt what the songs are saying.

Hell look at the show Smallville. most of the show seemed to have Clark daydreaming about him and Lana.

I guess I'm like Clark. Just daydreaming of me and the person that once broke my heart...

Well keep up the good work!

[zelda1994]

Originally Posted by Diaz

Well I believe songs are written the way the person is feeling at that time. If she was feeling that at the time she wrote the song, then thats the concept the song will be playing... Depresion, sadness, happiness, and so on.

Zelda I really like your songs. I guess they are a bit touching to me, because I have felt what the songs are saying.
I guess I'm like Clark. Just daydreaming of me and the person that once broke my heart...

Well keep up the good work!

Aw, thank you Diaz. so, heres a new one, and I guess what you say its true, you need to have felt them to understand them


When I pass you by
you just lower your eyes
and that keeps me from seing them,
and getting to smile,

I see you every day,
Yet we barely talk face to face.
We always have to wait,
for the little things to be said.

Still everytime you look at me,
Im the one who wants to flee,
but im stuck in the ground,
looking at your smile,

chorus.
--------
what magic do your eyes posses?
that make me wanna stare all day,
Youre always there when I think of you,
and you cant deny it is the truth,
i love you and you know its true.

But youre afraid to let me see,
And I am scared of how you feel,
but time, it isnt on our side,
soon it will be time for goodbye..

chorusX1

But I cant spend all my life pretending,
Because then there will be no ending...

[OmegaLifeGod]

The songs are good but it says "I wrote your name a thousand million times" which seems a little odd and you could have better word choice in that part, but aside from that one thing it seems very good