Ganon001's Poetry

[Ganon001]

"As the sun sets before us,
a dark sword rises from the setting.
The sword rises before us and
darkness sets a sky.
a silver emblem of
shining darkness rises before us
The Moon, an emblem of
dark battle shines before us.
As the Moon approaches, it
summons fellow beings from the dark
to shine the night sky with her.
The stars shine with the Moon
to accompany those lonely souls.
As the Moon dissapears, the Stars
vanish one by one and leaving a black
sky, filled with blue. The sun rises and
we see the darkness vanishing."

[Hylie]

I like it alot. But perhaps it could be broken up a bit. Maybe just split into two paragraphs perhaps.

Your use of the small words like "the" don't really need to be there quite as much but hey, it is great. 8)

[Ganon001]

Originally Posted by Hylian #1

I like it alot. But perhaps it could be broken up a bit. Maybe just split into two paragraphs perhaps.

Your use of the small words like "the" don't really need to be there quite as much but hey, it is great. 8)

I erased some "the" as you said! Now check it! Im also planing on changins its colors so it fits the theme.

[Hylie]

Nice one. I'll keep my eye on your work buddy. I kinda enjoy hanging around the poetry section. Keep it up my friend. 8)

[Ganon001]

Originally Posted by Hylian #1

Nice one. I'll keep my eye on your work buddy. I kinda enjoy hanging around the poetry section. Keep it up my friend. 8)

No problem! And thanks for your honest and helpful comments!

[Hylie]

That's ok. I'm not really a poet or anything but I believe in honesty, instead of telling people what they would prefer to hear. A bit of honest crit is good for everyone. 8)

[Ganon001]

"I walk toward a mirror,
I see myself but only me.
As I begin to notice, all
of the wrong deeds I have
fulfill begin to take form in
my reflection. I then see
but a sad and lonely dark
figure whom is being controlled
by dark and lonely thoughts.
I see myself that I must heal
those dark wounds I have
doned and make them light
scars. As I proceed, I begin
to see a much more lighter
reflection. Do our reflections
demonstrate our true beings?
Or do we make them?"

[Ganon001]

Are you sure youre not a poet? Because what you already said sounded like you were one!

[Ganon001]

"As we breed with wind,
we do not know what
it truls holds. The wind
grabs corruption from
the souls of foolish beings.
The wind is only innocent,
it is not its fault of causing
massive chaos in our wolrd,
the wind carries what it sees.
But, we are the reason the
wind holds corruption. Once
we are borned, the first air
we breed is corruption"

[Ganon001]

"As I slowly sit onto my bed,
the sun slowly sets upon my
eyes. I begin to think of the
future of my land, no, our land.
As the dawn closes, I see my
son opening hes eyes and smiling
at the bright future. But, I will
not live for ever, I must make
my son a noble and responsable
man borned among men. Today,
the beggining of my son's achievement
for total nobelty and respect starts,
alas, I shall use my last breathe to say
good bye, as the sun sets upon me.
Good bye son, as the sun sets, I slowly fell
into death's hands"

[Ganon001]

"I was once a nobel and
responsable men of thieves.
I was choosen to be the leader
of the Gerudo tribe. I desired to
take my beautiful people into a place
where the temperature was fresh and
the land was fertil. I then meeted a
woman whom eyes were like saphires,
her hair reminded me of rubies and her
face was as beautiful as the emeralds.
Her name was Nabooru, my heart pounded
as she approaches me, I then acted like a
true man. I then decided to sacrifice my
people for her life to be a succes, but,
the tables were turned when she created an
obstacle that ruined my life. I killed her, but,
her soul took form of dark emotions and entered
my body. I am now who I am!"

[Ganon001]

"I am but only a remnant of
an empty soul whom was
treated as garbage and whom
had hatred for life. The soul
was tempted by the devil's mischiefs
and he alone took out hes life. The
devil enjoied it like it was hes own food.
I was then cursed into a form that
only a remnant of hollowness would
resist. I lost all, my career, my love,
my family and I became oblivious.
After all this I thinked of how my
life would have been, a succesful
and happy one!"

[Ganon001]

"I seeked for answer on
how to obtain power. I
traveled to a land were
tall men and pointy ears
people lived, Hylians they
were. I slowly watched them
and I learned that power comes
from aggresiveness and total
hatred for men. I disobeyd my
master by putting a hat that
granted the desires of the heart.
I achieved a form that would hold
power as a berseeker. I madly searched
for more power, the more I obtained, the
more I was dragged by it. When I finally
reached the limit of power, I achieved a
form that resembles darkness and hatred
to men. I then realized that my own power,
turned me into a beast. I now sleep in
eternal missery!"

[princecharmin]

Not bad at all

[princecharmin]

Originally Posted by Ganon001

"I was once a nobel and
responsable men of thieves.
I was choosen to be the leader
of the Gerudo tribe. I desired to
take my beautiful people into a place
where the temperature was fresh and
the land was fertil. I then meeted a
woman whom eyes were like saphires,
her hair reminded me of rubies and her
face was as beautiful as the emeralds.
Her name was Nabooru, my heart pounded
as she approaches me, I then acted like a
true man. I then decided to sacrifice my
people for her life to be a succes, but,
the tables were turned when she created an
obstacle that ruined my life. I killed her, but,
her soul took form of dark emotions and entered
my body. I am now who I am!"

Again, not bad but i found and highlighted some of ur spelling errors for u

[Power Shot]

I have merged all your poetry together. Don't make more threads.

[zeldagamer]

Seriously those are briliant. Zelda and poetry together go quite well.