Andeh's Poetry Corner

So, in this thread, I'll be posting some of my poetry. w00t!

The first two I'll be posting were written for a school assignment. After reading 'The Crow' by Edgar Allen Poe, we had to write a poem that sort of resembled it.
I wrote two poems for this assignment, although I turned one of them in. I'll put both of them up and you can tell which one you like better, and wether or not you think I turned in the right one.

This first one was the first I wrote, and it is the one that I did not turn it.

Broken Reflection

There came a sudden call,
As I walked down the empty hall,
I sharply turned my head,
But found nothing, it was as if the presence had fled
Without a single care,
I thought there was nothing there.
Had it merely been my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came the answer,
Wait and see.

Abruptly there came a sound,
By fear my body was bound,
The new noise that was that of a strange drumming,
A sound apart from my tuneless humming,
I stood still for whatever lay in the darkness to come out,
But nothing showed as I wandered about.
Had it merely been my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came the answer,
Wait and see.

A shattered mirror adorned the wall,
As I strolled down the darkened hall,
The broken glass began to glow,
An eerie gust of wind began to blow,
Distorted pictures showed as my reflection,
A mirage? No, a recollection,
Cold tears formed at my eyes.
Was it merely my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came the answer,
Wait and see.

The mirror was now burning,
As I had turned it began burning,
And then as quickly as it had caught ablaze,
The fire died out, and I couldn't help but gaze.
The mirror still hung on the wall, now unbroken,
An event such as this had never been spoken.
Was it merely my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came the answer,
Wait and see.

Walking towards the wall,
My name a familiar voice began to call,
As I came upon the mirror, it began to break,
The cracking sound more than I could take,
But still I forced myself to stay,
And look at the broken reflection the mirror portrayed.
Was it merely my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came the answer,
Wait and see.

Baffled by the strange events,
I sat down; feeling wrecked and bent,
Why would the mirror shatter at my sight?
My body was numb with overwhelming fright.
The familiar voice once again said my name,
Almost as if it were playing a sick game.
Was it merely my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came the answer,
Wait and see.

Scared, deeper into the darkness I ran,
Through crushed pictures I stumbled and ran,
The feeling of dread replacing my fear,
I could feel the presence was getting near.
Weary and weak, I collapsed on my knees,
I cried out, but the presence ignored my pleas.
Was it merely my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came the answer,
Wait and see.

A while later the presence came in,
Goosebumps broke out on my skin,
The figure from what I could see,
Was a broken reflection of me.
As I recalled my unhappy youth,
I realized that a shattered mirror shows a broken truth.
Had it all been my imagination? I wondered,
From deep within there came a different answer,
This whole time you have been running away from yourself.

Aaand...here's the one I did turn in. Keep in mind that these were written last year, and I had to follow a certain set of rules, so they're not my greatest work.

Seven Tears

The words echoed relentlessly in my mind,
I noticed sleep was impossible to find,
As I tossed and turned in bed,
I couldn't get his voice out of my head.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

The harsh crash of the waves I could hear,
My heart was pounding hard, but not from fear,
A restless feeling settled itself upon me,
From the window the ranging waves I could see.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

Unable to ignore his words, I walked out the door,
From what I recalled he seemed to be full of lore,
But, then again, it had been awhile since we last met,
Exactly seven years, it was as if he'd won the never-made bet.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

As I made my way towards the shore,
My heart began to pound more and more,
I tried to tell myself that it had only been seven years by luck,
But those repeating words in my head stuck.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

I finally felt the sensation of soft sand beneath my feet,
Walking closer, the waves my feet would greet,
The once intense waves were now calm,
My hands out in front of me, a single tear fell to my palm.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

My white gown flowed gently to and fro,
A sweeping calmness inside began to grow,
Looking down at the sea,
Another tear managed to escape from me.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

Two gone, five remain,
I wondered if this was his watery domain,
I lost myself in middle thought,
Another tear my curiosity brought.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

Above me the moon, an intense light,
Made everything around me look bright,
The tear that fell in the sea,
Made soft ripples around me.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

What if this was a mistake?
What if a foolish move I had decided to make?
I knew I could not turn around, not now,
The falling tears seemed to be endowed.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

Each tear was as powerful as the last,
For unexplained reasons I did not feel aghast,
The second to last tear fell slowly down,
I was wearing a smile, not a frown.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

I knew not what was to happen then,
After the last tear had finally fallen,
The water around me began to faintly shine,
A reflection in the water, one apart from mine.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

His features were the same as before,
His eyes full of that unmistaken lore,
Putting his lips close to my ear,
He whispered those words, his voice the only sound I could hear.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

Turning my head, I found no one there,
Where was he? In the water, was where,
A thin smile spread across his handsome face,
A feature he had never shown appeared with such grace.
He parted his lips, and this time I said the words with him.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

Leaving the shore I returned to my room,
A new me inside had begun to bloom,
I lay down on my bed with a smile,
It had, after all, been worthwhile.
I fell into a peaceful slumber,
Not bothered by the sharp sound of thunder.
As I dozed off the words lingered in my mind.
Beckon the sea, I'll come to thee,
Shed seven tears, perchance seven years.

More to come latah! <3

If, according to your author's note, these pieces are indeed not your greatest work, then I demand you post those poems that constitute your best... because as far as I am concerned, Broken Reflection and Seven Years are brilliant.

First of all, the rhythm scheme of both pieces is well-nigh faultless. Not only did you capture and maintain the rhyme of your poems, but set them to images that were all pertinent, flowing seamlessly. Not once did I feel, while reading, that any rhyme was so placed merely for its convenience, and in that respect, I find both poems as excellent as those one might read in a book of narrative poems. Skating off that latter designation, I love the narrative tone you took with your work. The first evoked Edgar Allen Poe's style, not only in regards to 'The Crow', but his others works as well. Seven Tears put me in mind of a Celtic traditional, specifically, Banks of Claudy. (Well, I'm not precisely sure if that song is a Celtic traditional, but Loreena McKennitt sang it thus - thence, my designation. ) I've always had a fondness for such verses; it therefore goes without saying that I found Seven Tears moving, and was my favourite of the two. The third aspect of your poetry that I loved was the repetition. In both poems, I felt a sense of increase: excitement, suspense, anticipation. Beautiful, beautiful work.

What did your teacher think of the poem you turned in?

Anyhow, you must post more poetry. I demand it... >>

Take care,
Selah

:embrsd: Thanks for your kind words, Selah.

My teacher gave me a 100 on Seven Tears, and she made me read it aloud to the class. ^^;

The reason I thought those two weren't my best works is because...well...I think I've written better before, and I will be posting some more soon. (After tomorrow, perhaps) I'm not quite sure where I put all of my poetry. ^^;

Again, thanks again. :]

Oh! And I read those lyrics, they were really good. *Wants to download song now* >>

Andre-uh, simply amazing. For years I've been telling you you're great at this stuff, and now I have backup. FROM SELAH.

I helped you pick out Seven Tears, did I not? I still like it better, methinks. And wow...I didn't realize how long those two poems were.

Selah...her work is simply amazing. You MUST see. I've just got a backstage pass. X3

Thanks Gwacie-kins. :] *huggles*


This first poem was a far stretch from what I usually write, but, meh. I don't think it turned out so bad. ^^;

Sounds of a Broken Spirit

Tick tock
Time flies by
Swoosh, swoosh
I wonder why?

Drip drop
My tears consume
Splash, splash
I'll be there soon

Flip flop
My heart sinks
Thud, thud
So many links

Zap, zap
I'm waking up?
Tap, tap
I think not


The one coming up is one of my personal favorites. <3

Sweeter Days

Deep in your trance,
I reach for your hand,
Your silence scares me.
Please, beautiful,
Speak to me,
I don't want this to end.

Your tender lips,
Gently meet mine;
A sealed promise.
"Love, you know I'll never leave,"
You softly whisper in my ear.
Your heartfelt words speak of a brighter tomorrow.

I close my eyes
And try to hold on
To memories of sweeter days.
A time before you slipped through my fingers..
I fall asleep although I know
That tomorrow brings not you.

My nights are long and weary;
You haunt my every dream.
Tears stream down my rosy cheeks.
It's been so long since I looked into your eyes,
And I wonder:
Love, do you think of me?

Staring at an empty room
Full of trinkets that remind me of you,
I push away my suffocating feelings.
Drown my feelings with your eyes
Remembering promises to hold on tight,
And I'll keep on holding on.


Worthless

Lovely words of sorrow,
Drown your empty mind,
Convincing you there's no tomorrow,
Searching for something you'll never find.

All you're doing is going around and around,
Conjuring pictures in your head,
Looking, hoping for it to be found,
You've never felt so dead.

Is Paradise worth searching for
If you have lost all faith?
If Death is knocking at your door,
If blood is were you'll bathe?

Hope has left to not return.
Life turns complicated.
Your frail dreams begin to burn,
Happiness becomes overrated.

Your childish fears,
Are all too real,
You've never felt so hopeless.
You want to hide,
You've lost your pride,
You've never felt so worthless.
Excuse the title...I was having major writer's block. *shifty eyes*

Life's Shadows

Battered souls,
Stifled cries,
Poisoned tears,
Bloody lies.

Beaten spirits,
Blinding dark,
These little things,
Leave their mark.

Taunting pain,
Hopeless dreams,
Wrecked smiles,
Haunting screams.

Broken homes,
Greed and strife,
Why must there be such shadows
Here in life?

I think the second to last line on the last stanza kind of throws the rythmic pattern off, but nothing else would come to me. >>

That's all for now, folks! :3

Originally Posted by Lady Luck

Life's Shadows

Battered souls,
Stifled cries,
Poisoned tears,
Bloody lies.

Beaten spirits,
Blinding dark,
These little things,
Leave their mark.

Taunting pain,
Hopeless dreams,
Wrecked smiles,
Haunting screams.

Broken homes,
Greed and strife,
Why must there be such shadows
Here in life?

Andrea, Andrea, Andrea... this is like... OMFGHOWTHEHELLDOYOUWRITEPOETRYSOAWESOMELY!

Seriously. :0

I'm amazed at the pure excellence that you gave out in these poems... My favorite is the one that I quoted.

NO, not cuz it's short. XD

Cuz, IT WAS AWESOME. Very much filled with emotion, I <3 it. I LOOOOOVEd the message you conveyed too. Truly MARVELOUS. :3

your poetry is flippin awesome, but I pretty much already knew that. I read everything from begining to end and I think that you're just so good at capturing something, even if its in such few words.
You just put so much feeling and emotion into your work, it just makes you like... feel it. I think your work is absolutely outstanding, and you knew that if I think something needed work or something, I would let you know right away, but honestly... everything fits together so well that I wouldn't change a thing.

Keep up the incredible work. <3

:] Thanks Cio and Markie! *Huggles* More things will come up shortly. ^^;

Originally Posted by Lady Luck

Sounds of a Broken Spirit

Tick tock
Time flies by
Swoosh, swoosh
I wonder why?

Drip drop
My tears consume
Splash, splash
I'll be there soon

Flip flop
My heart sinks
Thud, thud
So many links

Zap, zap
I'm waking up?
Tap, tap
I think not

I hate these kinds of poems. It's not a matter of a lack of skill, a societal commonality (if that makes any sense), or the simple lack of thinking it requires to read it... It's a matter of preference.

I like this poem a great deal.

:] Thanks for the comments y'all.

Here's another poem I wrote for someone. <3


Why Bother?

Why bother?
The distance makes it difficult
The lack of communication impossible
The long days complicated
Why bother?
If chatting is all there may ever be
If seeing you may sometimes seem improbable
If spending time with you may never happen…
Why bother?
If at times we may lose touch
If staring at the computer screen isn't enough
If our lives may someday go their separate ways

I find myself asking, why bother?
I bother because in the end, we're both looking up at the same moon
The same stars
The same sky
And that's enough to let me hold on

Your poetry communicates your thoughts and ideals very well I think.

Originally Posted by Lonely Link

Your poetry communicates your thoughts and ideals very well I think.

Thank you, LL-kun! ^-^

Well, this isn't really a 'poem', per say, but it was written as a background for a picture of a guitar pick I drew and someone said they liked it. Aaaand...here it is.

Guitar Pick

A guitar pick is more than an object made of plastic. It's more than an object used to create music. It holds memories of the very first time you strummed the strings and began your journey in the world of music. It holds memories of your first show, the first song you ever played.
It can also be a connection you have with someone who is far away. Every time you gaze upon the pick you know that wherever that person may be they are thinking of you just as you're thinking of them. You know that as long as you keep hoping and keep that unique piece of plastic close to your heart that somehow, someday you'll be together.

I changed your thread title for you, Andrea. <33333